(Rant) The Current Male "Ideal".

[Bio]

Is anybody else sick of this? I'm 210-220lb. at 5'10'' and I've been told I'm "too muscular" by several gals. Why do guys need to look like Michael Cera to be attractive to girls in there 20s? I guess all you have to do nowadays is not eat anything and wear the tightest shirt you can find.

There are plenty of women out there that like muscles. No offense, but maybe they are using the muscles as an excuse. Maybe there is something else about you that they don't like(perhaps your personality, the way you come across) and it's just easier to use the "too muscular" excuse. Just evaluate yourself honestly and see if there is something about you that could use a little "polishing"(besides your knob). You will find someone. It usually happens when you least expect it too.

 

[betito]

Is anybody else sick of this? I'm 210-220lb. at 5'10'' and I've been told I'm "too muscular" by several gals. Why do guys need to look like Michael Cera to be attractive to girls in there 20s? I guess all you have to do nowadays is not eat anything and wear the tightest shirt you can find.

The ideal to women is a secure, high self steem and strong man... if your world collapses because what a woman said about you then you don´t fit the ideal

 

[chemicalwarrior]

The ideal to women is a secure, high self steem and strong man... if your world collapses because what a woman said about you then you don´t fit the ideal

Harsh, but very true! Women want a man who is strong in what he thinks. I swear this is above everything else. They'll tell you they want a "nice" guy, but they don't. They want charm and above all, someone who is "solid" in what they believe. This is why so many jerks who are out of shape and have nothing going for them have decent women. Those women are particularly maleable in their thinking and a "jerk" seems to have a solid attitude that can't be shaken. A woman like that likes to "attach" herself to his reality. don't believe me? Start paying attention and you'll see it all over the place.

 

[Silencer]

But u guys know these bro's who say all of 5 words and totally turn the ladies off? I have a buddy like this. He blames it on his braces (teeth). I tell him constantly," Im approached by some seriously hot women asking about him" But as soon as he starts talking..... he ruins it.

As I said, not making assumptions, but no woman would be turned off by a huge dude. Even then, as the rest of the fellas pointed out, Women out number men, plenty for the taking.

+1

My commentary is not directed at the OP either, but in general....How many guys get into bodybuilding because of low self esteem? They are really short, or they are ugly, or they are sickly skinny, or they have acne, or they suck at all sports, or they lack game with females to the point they couldn't pick up a $10 hooker with a C-note.

After they get huge, then they think the girls will flock. But in reality, they are now just HUGE short ugly acne-covered guys who still suck at sports and can't talk to girls. 1) One needs to get into this sport for oneself, first and foremost. 2) Being "built" is just one piece of the puzzle. Your job, how you present yourself, etc -- it's the complete package.

Once that is worked out, just remember there are tons of females out there that like all kinds of different men. Good thing too, otherwise we'd all want the same girl and vice versa. It's what makes a market; some sell what others buy. Many girls don't like the skinny jeans look too... It's like several years ago, I had a hot girl tell me that I had no chance with her because I worked out too much. Then the following week I ran into an amazingly beautiful woman, who actually loved my figure. That latter one is now my wife...

 

[GymDudeVA]

Gay guy here. Um, needless to say, almost all gay guys (but not all) love big muscles. Good for me! Helps with motivation in the gym, let me tell you. (But yes, you do have to do it for YOU.)

As far as girls go, I find that older ones will flirt with me more than younger ones. Girls in their twenties tend to be my buddies, but more middle-age women (even if they know I am gay) stare at me, flirt, etc. Hmm. I seem to be esp. popular with older African-American women for some reason! They often hit on me LOL.

 

[overman]

well

I think it is important to acknowledge and/or validate his feelings of frustration, rejection, confusion, disappointment, etc. It sounds like you may have some rigid expectations of women such as "women must like guys with muscles," implying ALL women. Did you take it personally? Almost like they belittled you as a person by not automatically recognizing the "inherent" superiority or advantages of men with muscles or having a man with muscles? Thus, the personal comparison to Michael Cera? It also sounds like the rejection you experienced has been difficult to understand, reconcile, or accept leading to significant frustration, disappointment, and/or unproductive rumination/self-analysis. This may reflect some beliefs/feelings of inadequacy or being unskilled it some respect. Perseverating on the 'deeper' issues of why some or all women may dislike men with muscles really isn't in your best interests. This may be a shocker, but you can't be universally attractive to every woman. Muscularity may have some advantages and disadvantages just like owning a nice car or having a prestigious/lucrative profession. Your physique is a part of you, not the whole you!! Don't evaluate yourself globally by the merits of your muscles- it will lead to continued disappointment, avoidance, and quite possibly marked anxiety and depression.

This is an important and complex topic, particularly for young male members of this board.

 

[Golgo13]

Plenty of girls have said that to me. I usually say, "I was born to be strong. I think you can look past it." And they always do.

EVERY girlfriend I have had has said I was too big, when they met me, then later on said how much they loved my body.

 

[Jarconis]

I think girls kinda grow outta that phase either A.)when they hit their late 20's and start gaining a little weight and suddenly don't want to weigh more than the guys they are gawking at or B.) go thru a divorce and want a "man's man".

 

[NRIP427]

This actually correlates with something one my my buddies dad's friends said one day when he was hammered but i actually find to be somewhat true. he said "if you can keep being jacked past 25 pussy will fall from the sky" lol

i have absolutely no clue if its true (seeing as im 19 with a gf haha) but it sounds like from what i have read and what i have heard previously that women appreciate muscular guys a lot more as they get older. cody lewis even makes reference to it in his interview on rx when palumbo asks him how the girls like him he says he gets a lot more attention from women closer to 30 haha.
maybe girls just need to grow up a bit to be able to appreciate an impressive physique without feeling worse about themselves in the process?

 

[Jarconis]

Plenty of girls have said that to me. I usually say, "I was born to be strong. I think you can look past it." And they always do.

EVERY girlfriend I have had has said I was too big, when they met me, then later on said how much they loved my body.

I think girls say that initially as a disclaimer to themselves for hating that they are attracted to guys that are "our type". I had a female friend whose roommate would always say how i gross I was, and my veins were icky. Fast forward to a month later and I was balls deep up in there, so yeah, take all that crap with a grain of salt.

 

[Truepeptides]

Bro thats just bs and sometimes it means the opposite they really love it. If a girl doesn't like a muscular build and won't go out with you for just that reason.. then shes a wack job and you don't even need to be around that. Next time a chick says something like that laugh and say i like hitting the gym its my hour away from work and home...

 

[STEVO 47]

I think most girls feel big arms and ego go hand and hand. At my best
I would walk down the beach boardwalk and girls would even roll there
eyes in a snob way. But as they pass, turn around, I guarantee half will
be looking back.

 

[qbkilla]

in the end though girls are more concerned with the size of one particular organ than our biceps, delts, back etc. i dont think anyone can argue that.

 

[thehuge]

You want to know the secret? They are intimidated and I don't mean in the way that another guy might be, but more in a jealous way. Women are, for the most part, often insecure about their bodies. When a guy has a good physique that can scare a lot of them off because they are afraid of how they'll compare.

I dated a "cerebral narcissist" woman awhile back and she continually made an issue about my body because it threatened her. Even though she was successful in her career etc she'd say things like, "Too much muscle isn't good you know..." and invariably put my masculinity down every chance she got. The funny thing was that I wasn't and am not an overly macho guy. I'm smart, sensitive and have a good sense of humor. But all she could see is what she was lacking. She was a good 30-35 lbs overweight.

Either find a woman that is secure in herself and her apearance or, if that fails, find one that is half-way confident and build them up. Women thrive on compliments and affirmations the same way men thrive on challenges.

x2 on the first part!

 

[Tom]

in the end though girls are more concerned with the size of one particular organ than our biceps, delts, back etc. i dont think anyone can argue that.

yup...if you don't have a big spleen, you 'aint gettin any......

 

[powerox]

I've never heard of this before. Not once have I seen a muscled bound dude not have action one way or the other. even the handicapped ones. some how, even tho men are the voyeurs (visual), women (against nature), become attracted to the alfa. It's unstoppable for them.

Ex. You ladies on here help me out, please. If you had a choice between sex (no relationship intended), what would you prefer?

1.) bloated, wrinkled, overweight, weak, skin with over-sized pores, etc,etc,etc.

2.) ripped, smooth, jacked, strong, skin with no pours, etc,etc,etc.

Which one would you prefer to have sex with, regardless of personality? Just curious.



PO

 

[triathloncoach]

My 2 cents

Hey, you could be ugly and stupid. With an obnoxious personality. And poor.

And anyone who doesn't realize that the most important bulge is the one in your wallet has a long way to go.

But what do I know? I could write a book on hooking up.

Stop whining cause some girl tells you she doesn't like big muscles. If Brad Pitt juiced and said hi to that same girl, she'd take any request he could imagine. She'd bang you to bang him

 

[Golgo13]

You're right bro... girls seem to be into this metrosexual fucking faggot look... And I'm short yet thick with long hair and everyone assumes I'm a frickin hippie.... I'm totally fucked... Luckily I've got a decent collection of porn. There's always the mail order bride option...

HAHA! Great post! i laughed for 2 min.

 

[mass4all]

shit these days, dudes who are a lean 170 are considered muscular to girls in college. all they care about is biceps that stand out when flexed and abs, both of which 150 lb guys have.. maybe cougars appreciate more mass! lol

 

[mikennrg]

There are plenty of women out there that like muscles. No offense, but maybe they are using the muscles as an excuse. Maybe there is something else about you that they don't like(perhaps your personality, the way you come across) and it's just easier to use the "too muscular" excuse. Just evaluate yourself honestly and see if there is something about you that could use a little "polishing"(besides your knob). You will find someone. It usually happens when you least expect it too.

The ideal to women is a secure, high self steem and strong man... if your world collapses because what a woman said about you then you don´t fit the ideal

Hey, you could be ugly and stupid. With an obnoxious personality. And poor.

And anyone who doesn't realize that the most important bulge is the one in your wallet has a long way to go.

But what do I know? I could write a book on hooking up.

Stop whining cause some girl tells you she doesn't like big muscles. If Brad Pitt juiced and said hi to that same girl, she'd take any request he could imagine. She'd bang you to bang him

Guys never did I say that I'm crushed from hearing "You're too muscular" or that I can't pick any one up. All I'm bringing up is the current trend in women my age.