Relationship based on Logic or Love/Passion?

[jay_dub]

I'll make this question as simple as I can.

And for you to be able to answer this question, you will have needed to be 100% in love at some point in your life.

If you had to pick one option which would you choose?

A. You're in a relationship that is working well. You've known this girl for 5 months. Like you, the girl is very chill and relaxed, drama free, and laid back. Her parents love you and her friends love you. She is open to your lifestyle and is ok with your decision to be taking steroids. Your parents love her and tell you to keep her around. She's very intelligent, very attractive, works out, and has completely fallen for you. She makes good money and is totally independent. She would do anything for you. You like her a lot and enjoy spending tons of time with her, but you're not in love with her. She is basically the perfect g/f yet you feel held back. She trusts you 100% and she treats you like a damn king but you feel like you can't love, sometimes you feel numb. In turn you almost feel guilty that you can't give her all of yourself because she is so deserving.

B. It's been 6 months since having contact with this girl. You're still in love with her. You know she still loves you too, but you havent talked or told her your feelings for months. You think about her daily. You had spent 5 years with this girl and you both had planned to spend forever together. She opened your eyes and showed you what true love is. When you were with this girl, everyone knew how madly in love you two were. It shined through everything. Your parents are bitter towards her. Her parents never had much of a relationship with you. Her friends now view you as the bad guy since things went sour. But when things were going well, things were perfect. She was NOT ok with your AAS usage, which caused many problems. She is ok with legal HRT through a specialist (which you have access to). She has some insecurity issues which in turn has caused trust issues. She always assumed the worst. She had bad habits of checking your phone and FB. The combo of steroids and her insecurities is why things went bad. But when trust was good in the past, everything was good. You can't stop thinking about her, ever. You don't want to let go and you fantasize about things working out with her. She was the closest thing to being your dream girl. She doesnt know it but she still has your heart completely.


So love?

Or logic?

Why?

 

[renewlyf]

I'll make this question as simple as I can.

And for you to be able to answer this question, you will have needed to be 100% in love at some point in your life.

If you had to pick one option which would you choose?

A. You're in a relationship that is working well. You've known this girl for 5 months. Like you, the girl is very chill and relaxed, drama free, and laid back. Her parents love you and her friends love you. She is open to your lifestyle and is ok with your decision to be taking steroids. Your parents love her and tell you to keep her around. She's very intelligent, very attractive, works out, and has completely fallen for you. She makes good money and is totally independent. She would do anything for you. You like her a lot and enjoy spending tons of time with her, but you're not in love with her. She is basically the perfect g/f yet you feel held back. She trusts you 100% and she treats you like a damn king but you feel like you can't love, sometimes you feel numb. In turn you almost feel guilty that you can't give her all of yourself because she is so deserving.

B. It's been 6 months since having contact with this girl. You're still in love with her. You know she still loves you too, but you havent talked or told her your feelings for months. You think about her daily. You had spent 5 years with this girl and you both had planned to spend forever together. She opened your eyes and showed you what true love is. When you were with this girl, everyone knew how madly in love you two were. It shined through everything. Your parents are bitter towards her. Her parents never had much of a relationship with you. Her friends now view you as the bad guy since things went sour. But when things were going well, things were perfect. She was NOT ok with your AAS usage, which caused many problems. She is ok with legal HRT through a specialist (which you have access to). She has some insecurity issues which in turn has caused trust issues. She always assumed the worst. She had bad habits of checking your phone and FB. The combo of steroids and her insecurities is why things went bad. But when trust was good in the past, everything was good. You can't stop thinking about her, ever. You don't want to let go and you fantasize about things working out with her. She was the closest thing to being your dream girl. She doesnt know it but she still has your heart completely.


So love?

Or logic?

Why?

Is love logical? Ever?

If you're not completely into the girl in senerio 1 and you're constantly thinking about another girl, let her go. If you care about her like you say. You should let
her move on with her life so she can find someone that is into her!

In regards to the girl in 2. I think you have unfinished business there that has to be addressed. Is there a chance for you two to get back together? It might work or it might not. You have to get to one of those conclusions. Is aas usage more important than love?
True love always deserves another shot! In my opinion.

 

[jay_dub]

Is love logical? Ever?

If you're not completely into the girl in senerio 1 and you're constantly thinking about another girl, let her go. If you care about her like you say. You should let
her move on with her life so she can find someone that is into her!

In regards to the girl in 2. I think you have unfinished business there that has to be addressed. Is there a chance for you two to get back together? It might work or it might not. You have to get to one of those conclusions. Is aas usage more important than love?
True love always deserves another shot! In my opinion.

Its not as simple as just letting her go man. I'm genuinely into her. I treat her great and she would tell you the same. It's just I still have that connection to my ex that I can't seem to let go. And trust me I've tried. But she always comes back to me in my thoughts.

As for my ex, I should also mention we were off and on for 2 years. This isnt the first time we've broken up. But it is by far the longest we've gone without seeing each other.

 

[renewlyf]

Its not as simple as just letting her go man. I'm genuinely into her. I treat her great and she would tell you the same. It's just I still have that connection to my ex that I can't seem to let go. And trust me I've tried. But she always comes back to me in my thoughts.

As for my ex, I should also mention we were off and on for 2 years. This isnt the first time we've broken up. But it is by far the longest we've gone without seeing each other.

Jay
I know there is no easy answer to this quandary.

As I see it, and I know it's so much easier for an outsider to give advise when they are not the one emotionaly tied to the situation. You have a few options

Option 1 - Accept that it is over between you and your ex and move on. Obviously there are some major issue between you and your ex otherwise we wouldn't be having this discussion. See a counsler, go on a drinking binge (just kidding). What ever you need to do to get to that point of acceptance. I'm not saying it will be easy. I've been in your shoes more than once. Time helps!!!

Option 2 - Talk with your ex. Tell her how you feel and see if there is an opportunity to try it again. If there is, than go for it. If there isn't than refer back to option 1.

Option 3 - Do nothing and continue to drive yourself carzy.

What do you feel in your gut you should do??

 

[Rory33]

Option 1 - Accept that it is over between you and your ex and move on. Obviously there are some major issue between you and your ex otherwise we wouldn't be having this discussion. See a counsler, go on a drinking binge (just kidding). What ever you need to do to get to that point of acceptance. I'm not saying it will be easy. I've been in your shoes more than once. Time helps!!!

Option 2 - Talk with your ex. Tell her how you feel and see if there is an opportunity to try it again. If there is, than go for it. If there isn't than refer back to option 1.

Option 3 - Do nothing and continue to drive yourself carzy.

What do you feel in your gut you should do??

Option 3 sounds good lol seriously tho this is a hard decision. I had an ex that was great at one time but a reason she's my ex. My current girlfriend I'm way happier with even tho she's 11 years younger an still in college.

No one knows your true feelings but you bro an make sure whatever it is, your happy with it.

 

[renewlyf]

Option 3 sounds good lol seriously tho this is a hard decision. I had an ex that was great at one time but a reason she's my ex. My current girlfriend I'm way happier with even tho she's 11 years younger an still in college. That's a bad thing???

No one knows your true feelings but you bro an make sure whatever it is, your happy with it.

Good advise there!

 

[Rory33]

[/B]
Good advise there!

Lol guess not a bad thing. Just doesn't have the income the other had. But on the plus side all my friends an random people i meet are envious that I have a hot 22 year old redhead that cooks, takes care of me, an treats me right lol.

 

[jay_dub]

Jay
I know there is no easy answer to this quandary.

As I see it, and I know it's so much easier for an outsider to give advise when they are not the one emotionaly tied to the situation. You have a few options

Option 1 - Accept that it is over between you and your ex and move on. Obviously there are some major issue between you and your ex otherwise we wouldn't be having this discussion. See a counsler, go on a drinking binge (just kidding). What ever you need to do to get to that point of acceptance. I'm not saying it will be easy. I've been in your shoes more than once. Time helps!!!

Option 2 - Talk with your ex. Tell her how you feel and see if there is an opportunity to try it again. If there is, than go for it. If there isn't than refer back to option 1.

Option 3 - Do nothing and continue to drive yourself carzy.

What do you feel in your gut you should do??

Here are my thoughts on this

Option 1 - I've tried to move on multiple times. Everyone says time helps. It's only made it worse for me. The longer I dont talk to her the more I go crazy inside. She was my best friend for 5 years. One of about two people I fully trusted. She meant everything to me.

Option 2 - It's what I want to do, but at the same time I dont want to be shady to my current gf. She doesnt deserve to have me going behind her back and admitting any feelings to my ex. What minimal communication I have had with my ex, she knows a little about and I can feel good about that instead of feeling guilty. You know? But at the same time, if I did admit anything to my ex-I couldnt tell my gf. It would break her heart. Lose lose here...

Option 3 - well I'm kind of getting used to this by now lol

 

[thehazzle]

You always want what you can't have and like a challenge. On one hand you shouldn't just settle for someone if your hearts not in it and on the other hand love isn't enough to make things work. Iv had an ex where if she called me and asked me to visit her at her house I would have dropped everything to go and prob cheated on my girl when that's not like me at all. It didn't work out for a reason.

You have known and been close to her for 5 years you will miss her and have feelings for her probably the rest of your life but it doesn't mean things are meant to be.

I was in a similar situation. Couldn't stop thinking about my ex, had a lot more passion than with the current gf but she was the perfect gf apart from that and stuck with her and feelings grow dude it takes time and now im madly in love with her and cant see my life without her. The only reason your not feeling the new chick is because your still attached to the ex. If you had never met your ex I bet you would be head over heels for the new girl. Id say give her a chance everything happens for a reason and if it didn't work out with your ex maybe things just aren't meant to be and the sooner you accept that the sooner you can enjoy your new woman.

 

[renewlyf]

"You must go to the Mountain and get straight!"
One of my favorite movie lines!
Of course I can't remember the name of the movie.
An old Native American guy is talking to a white guy who is struggling with some decisions. This is actually a Native Amercan tradition called a vision quest. This when you go out solo into the wilderness, mountains, desert etc. and fast and meditate for a few days. I've done this before in varying degrees and it is very helpful.
My favorite way of thinking things out is to go on a secluded hike and spend a few hours at the pinnacle of the trail contemplating whatever it is I'm struggling with. Getting away from all the destractions and people is good in it's self for me.
This is something that is not an easy "do this or do that" senerio. You are going to have to make some hard choices and live with them.

Or you could become a polygamist and live happily ever after!

 

[Cerberus777]

Us men desire what we should not have, are you missing the drama/excitement?
I ask this because I've been there. And you could be having the same feelings of missing girl#1 when shit hits the fan again.

A girl that is chaotic,keeps you at a distance...Behavior science states, Ramdom rewards build compulsive/addictive behaivoir. Constaint rewards you can loose intrest.

 

[triathloncoach]

I would take girl #3 who you have yet to meet.

Unless just you three live on desert island with no hope of rescue. Then of course I would employ the scientific method and choose the one with the bigger tits.

I'm not an expert on demographics and population, but there is without a doubt more than 2 women on the planet.

 

[BillHilton]

Learn to love number 1 for all that she is.

Number 2 is a psycho that will make your life a living hell if you get back with her.

Number 2 did not open your eyes to real love. Real love is when you want the other partner, and are willing to help the other, be all that they want to be.

 

[desibaba]

Im not a believer of the whole "Lets work things out again". There is a reason why you arent with Girl # 2 in the first place. Dont fuck up what you have now just to go back to the one you lost. I love this saying. "Forget the people in your past, there is a reason they didn't make it are to your future"

 

[sammy555]

Logic for me every time mainly because I'm not a particularly emotional person.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

 

[tenny]

i'll say this......and this only......

never settle.....and never quit
on what you want....

always follow what your heart tells you....

sometimes shit dont make any sense AT ALL
but it feels SO RIGHT.....thats the only way
you will HONESTLY sleep at night....when it
FEELS right

FOLLOW YOUR HEART
anything else????.... and youre lying to yourself

 

[fubaseball]

i'll say this......and this only......

never settle.....and never quit
on what you want....

always follow what your heart tells you....

sometimes shit dont make any sense AT ALL
but it feels SO RIGHT.....thats the only way
you will HONESTLY sleep at night....when it
FEELS right

FOLLOW YOUR HEART
anything else????.... and youre lying to yourself

This what I needed to read seeing as my GF just broke up with me

 

[desibaba]

This what I needed to read seeing as my GF just broke up with me

Did she say why? Sorry for being nosy.

 

[tenny]

This what I needed to read seeing as my GF just broke up with me

if you love her???

DO NOT......DO NOT let her go
fight with EVERYTHING YOU HAVE to hold onto her

but its a delicate, dont come on TOO strong or you'll blow it

be smart about it, and you'll get her back

and if not?????.....then she never loved you any way
and you are better off

good luck brother.....be smart

 

[S2N]

I've been in this exact situation. I chose B. Wrong choice, don't be like me