RIP POP

fsm · Oct 27, 2007

terribly sorry for your loss. takethe time to mourn. Remember the good times and the not so good times. Remember that the major gift of our loved ones is the time we spent with them.

FSM

oldfella · Oct 27, 2007

Tonka, I am sad for your loss, but happy that you took the advice and went to him and told him you really did love him! This was the one single act that put him at peace and helped ease your pain also. The way in which he passed although not ideal, well let's just say it is finished. He is resting at eternal peace, you and your family have a great burden lifted from your shoulders. You should have no guilt, no anger brother. Do not look to lay blame, do not harbour anger. Instead give thanks that your father did not linger on in constant pain and he died with dignity! Your courage in the circumstances was exactly what your family needed. Very brave indeed bro. You can feel proud that your father was the man he was, and that he loved you dearly. This was a hard time for you and the family. You were their pillar of strength when they needed you most. God Bless you, your family and may God keep your father forever!

tonka2 · Oct 28, 2007

I just got back from my moms.It seemed to go well. I really have not got upset yet.I think i am still in shock from what i saw.ii do not fully blame the hospital at this piont .I know those thoughts had there roots in anger.Some on said that once i now it is ok or family is ok then i will be able to let it out.Am i wrong for being happy that i am not crying. I dont think my dad would want me to any way.If you could have seen how strong he was you would understand!I have spent my whole life hating that man know i dont want to let him down.I am glad you all where her for me.My ex has not been ,she was i thouhgt my best freind above all else.She is so angry about what has happen she added to my pain yesterday.I am glad you guys talked me threw that to!Thanks again guys for all your help

BOOMSHAKER · Oct 28, 2007

Tonka, your dad is no longer suffering and thats a good thing. You did everything you had to do as a son before he passed on. I am sure he is very proud of your thoughts and actions while he was with you. Remember him in your thoughts and prayers as myself and my family will do for you my friend!

RV63T · Oct 28, 2007

NO CONTRIBUTION

thebrick · Oct 28, 2007

Tonka,
People handle grief in their own way. Don't be hard on yourself because you are not crying. If you don't get upset right now, that's OK. Tears may come later. Tears do not mean you are not a man. Sounds like you are in shock and just trying to take the reality of all this in, past and present. Maybe if your ex is not helping and increasing your pain, you should just distance her for a while? In situations like these emotions run really high. Maybe some quiet time for yourself and those close in your family would be good.

littlejames · Oct 28, 2007

sorry for your lose

hey bro sorry for your lose . i know you said that you hated him for so long , but in your heart you still loved and just like you did at the end , you where by his side and that takes alot of heart . and im sure your father no's that his son loved him , and still loves him . as far as the malpractice im not sure .there are some soon to be lawyers on this board that could asked there bosses or proffessors fro some info for you on that issue maybe thay will chime in . your in my prayers

Amazon Doll · Oct 28, 2007

Just popping back in to let you know I'm thinking of you sweetie and sending you lots of love.........

mike1107 · Oct 28, 2007

bro, keep ur father in ur heart and mind, that's where he'll live for ever

don't be angry bro, u did what had to be done and u helped ur father until the end, u 've been a good son no doubt about it

take ur time to heal of that loss and feel free to talk about it when u feel the need, don't keep it in urself bro

phoenix13 · Oct 29, 2007

Tonka, I am very sorry and sad for your loss. I hold you in my heart, and keep you in my prayers today. I'm glad you got to share very special moments with your dad. Try to let yourself have your feelings without judgment, as they will come regardless. Whether there are tears or not has no bearing on your strength, courage and manhood. There is no perfect way to get through this... only to do your best. and it sounds like that is what you are doing. Take care.

tonka2 · Oct 29, 2007

i want to say thank you one more time to everyone here.I finally got some sleep.My ex moved out yesterday.I still sleeped on the couch i could not sleep in the bed but i did sleep.I still have not got to upset i think thats how i want to keep it.Pepole are saying thays noty healthy.I dont know what i think.Today will be my first day back to the gym in a few.I feel like i am close to finding some kind of peace in my life.That is as long as the ex does not return to drive me crazy.I have talked to her family they and her best friends they called me to tell me they love me and no matter what that they know i am a good man.That really made me feel good.Her brother even said her told her that she should be here for me even if we are not together.WOW

Amazon Doll · Oct 29, 2007

It will be good if you can get a workout in, it will release some chemicals to help you feel a bit better.

Change your locks

Sassy · Oct 29, 2007

Amazon is right. Death is never nice or easy on anyone. We went through this with my grandmother. It was horrible. What you are feeling is normal? I'm sure they did everything they could for him. It will be something you won't forget, but it also gets easier. It's been 2 yrs since she passed away, and I no longer remember that way. Now I only remember the good things and times. How she was when I was growing up. I know this isn't the same for you, but it does get easier. The most important thing is that you connected with your father before it was too late.

You're in my prayer... Take care... gets some rest!

luckyone · Oct 30, 2007

Tonka, sorry for your loss. My wife and I will keep you and your family in our prayers. I would get copies of your Dad's medical records and contact a good lawyer. The shit that some hopitals get away with is really sad.

Hang in there bro, one day you and your Dad will be together again.

your brother in Christ,

Lucky

BALDNAZI · Oct 30, 2007

Sorry brother

All my best to you and yours my friend. Life can be as tragic as it is beautiful, count your blessing everyday. You are a good son...

gav86 · Oct 30, 2007

im very sorry to hear of your loss, i cant even imagine how you must be feeling

JCAnderson · Oct 30, 2007

I m sorry to hear about your loss bro. I m happy to hear that you were able to talk to him before he passed. Take care and be strong!

tonka2 · Oct 30, 2007

I know how this is gonna sound.Its prob just in my head but i feel like hes watching me!It makes me want to better person all the time.I this really strang or what or am i just loseing it.His phone is still on so i was sitting and i just had the erge to text him i love him.I could swear i heard him reply just the way he would say it.I am not one who beleaves in a lot of the after life stuff but this really touched me am i going crazy!Is my mind just trying to cope i still have not really got up set.This whole thing is so stange.Those of u in vegas i am goona try to take a break and come out in a few.I need some freash air.Maybe i will run into you.You guys take care.

oldfella · Oct 30, 2007

tonka2 said:
I know how this is gonna sound.Its prob just in my head but i feel like hes watching me!It makes me want to better person all the time.I this really strang or what or am i just loseing it.His phone is still on so i was sitting and i just had the erge to text him i love him.I could swear i heard him reply just the way he would say it.I am not one who beleaves in a lot of the after life stuff but this really touched me am i going crazy!Is my mind just trying to cope i still have not really got up set.This whole thing is so stange.Those of u in vegas i am goona try to take a break and come out in a few.I need some freash air.Maybe i will run into you.You guys take care.

Hey bro, not strange at all. my Dad watches me all the time. I often get this feeling of someone there, looking in on me over my shoulder! You were very fortunate you got to say your peace with your dad. I never got my chance, but he knows how I feel and all. I wished I could have been there when he passed away. Cherish your last moments with him and those words that were spoken. Think only good thoughts and he is with you bro. He is in your heart and in your soul! When you are in need he will be there for you. So no you are not strange! Very normal in fact.