Tonka, I am sad for your loss, but happy that you took the advice and went to him and told him you really did love him! This was the one single act that put him at peace and helped ease your pain also. The way in which he passed although not ideal, well let's just say it is finished. He is resting at eternal peace, you and your family have a great burden lifted from your shoulders. You should have no guilt, no anger brother. Do not look to lay blame, do not harbour anger. Instead give thanks that your father did not linger on in constant pain and he died with dignity! Your courage in the circumstances was exactly what your family needed. Very brave indeed bro. You can feel proud that your father was the man he was, and that he loved you dearly. This was a hard time for you and the family. You were their pillar of strength when they needed you most. God Bless you, your family and may God keep your father forever!