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Where I a went wrong ..........

Iabadman

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
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Where I went wrong ..........

After I read another great post by our esteamed member DAD[in the beginers section ] and read the awesome responses by JT and Big boy J it got me thinking ......WHERE DID U GO WRONG IN THIS GAME ?

Well , after thinking a minute and coming to grips with my stupididy , it hit me . Plain and simple, it was the path that I chose with AAS. instead of seeing them as a tool to help my physique get to another level I looked at them as an answer. A big mistake that would change the course of my life forever.

I started training because as a very young kid I liked to draw the heros out of comic books . One Sunday afternoon ,when I was about 10 years old my father takes me to the book store like he had always done every sunday since I had learned to read .When I asked him to buy me this comic book he smiles and sayes , " Don't you think you are getting alittle old for that stuff " . He reaches over and grabs a Muscle & Fitness from the rack and said , " You sould read this if you want to look like those guys in the comic books " . I grabed the mag and thumbed through it. I couldn't believe those guys where real . I asked him to buy it and soon I was obsessed . I cut lawns and got allowance for chores . I spent everydime on magazines and weight equipment . By the age of 12 ,I was a neighborhood legend .I was bigger and stronger than most 16 years olds and the older girls were taking notice . I dominated every sport that I did and that carried on through high school. And I always had the hottest girls with me .......I was never a bully, but liked to fight and had a rep as dangerous guy that was really nice . I tried drugs and alcohol at a very young age and they just seemed like a waste of time . I spent my time with my girlfriends , close friends , or at home reading my magazines .At 14 ,I won my first contest and was really hooked after that . Training was an extension of who I was . The sad thing is that I believed the mags like they were bibles until I was 15. At that time I joined a very hardcore gym that was owned by a massive guy [ and one of the biggest steroid dealers in history ] . My first day , I saw guys getting injected behind the counter and saw used syringes in the locker room . I was blown away . The guys in this gym were insanely big and I begin to realize why .[ I am talking several Mr Cal winners and contenders as well national level guys . Many just great bodybuilders in the gym ......upwards of 30 guys that were at that level ] By 16, I was getting ready to go away to play college football and was 225 and lean . I was a local football hero , but had become disillusioned with bodybuilding . I saw what was happening to the guys I looked up to and it wasn't good . Guys were going to jail for beating thier girlfriends and for dealing left and right . Guys were dieting on coke back then and getting hooked bad .....the scene scared me and it made me anti steriod and I stayed that way until after my playing days were complete in my brief NFL stint. I saw drugs around alot in college and in the NFL and I think that eveyone thought I was on for as long as I can remember .[ since jr high ,I had been accused and rumors were always floating ].

At 23 , my football career was done and I was going to grad school and working at nightclubs ,running and managing security .[ I had been working in bars since 17 .] One night , I fought a guy in the parking lot that was supposed to be a pretty tough guy . When I came out on top, a guy in the paking lot approached me and tells me that I should fight in MMA.[I ended up training with many lengends of that sport ] He said I should come train with some guys he knew and that this sport was the future. So I went and these guys kicked my ass , I was humbled ......I went to a friends house and told him about the training session. While he was in the shower I noticed a copy of the dan duchane's UGSh. I was instantly intranced by his book. Soon I was reading everything and anything about AAS . It a short time I considered myself a guru on the subject. Before I even did my first cycle I was dealing at a high level and successfully training guys for shows . When I jumped on it was with AD , test , and deca . [ probally 1500 mgs woth ]
Instead of learning from the mistakes of my former idols growning up I was becoming worse . Shortly thereafter ,I meet Jason Muller [ AE fame ] and we became very close , very fast . I was invloved with some organized crime people and was doing some collections as well . JM was extremely bright , always had my back , but was even more obsessed and extreme than I was .[ 10 fold ] I turned him from a farm town ma ma's boy to one bad MF real fast . As our friendship grew and so did our quest for the secrets to being huge . We were hard at 290 and 311 , but never thought we were big enough . We always thought we were missing something that would make us into straight freaks . Then we came across a certain member of this board and thought we found the missing piece of the puzzle . This guy was way bright , shared our code of ethics , and had some insider knowledge that we didn't . The guy had a brutal training system , and we tried to kill eachother during every workout .[ people would always stare ,even the pros in Venice were in awe of some of the crazy shit he had us do ] Well , that insanity didn't last long , We got busted trying to help a friend in need of some help and I ending up turning my close friend JM into a felon along with myself.[ like I said the guy always had my back ....I love the man and the other person involved as well ] Our educations, reputations , and freedom went out the window that day ............

We were blinded by our quest glory and instead we destroyed our lives .Steriods were the not the reason for my destruction [or my buddy's]. I am a man and I am resposible for any choice that I make , but one thing that I do know . They are not the answer either ........there are no secrets .....no hidden stacks or routines ........just the basics [ basic movements , always get stronger , lots of rest , and eat a great diet ] ......gear should be always used low dose and treated as purely gravey if it used at all .[ do you really have a reason to use --- REALLY ? ] I am not against the use of gear ,just remember .Gear is not the answer . Don't let your drive to be the best you can be, blind you into making some bad decisions .Don't stray for the rightous path .[ and no I am not religious]........Not Worth it Guys ....I promise you that ! .................................Be smart !!!!
 
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Nice

Amen, bro, a fucking men.
 
Always good to see you post. A lot of good advice/info here! Sounds kinda like what my sig says ;)
 
Iabadman, we've never really spoken before, but the more of your posts I've read the more obvious it is that you are one damn good guy. You seem to be the kind of person anyone would be very lucky to call a friend. There aren't a whole lot of people who demonstrate the kind of loyalty you seem to have for the people you care about.

As for the new guys getting into the darkside, I only hope that we can get through to them. Steroids are not like taking a multi-vitamin. It isn't something people should jump into until they have become well educated on the topic and have already got every other aspect of bodybuilding down to a science.

I really hate it when I read about some guy who's been lifting for 1 year and has decided to do 750 mg test along with deca and dbol to help his progression. I just don't believe that people are helping themselves by doing this. If the diet, training and recuperation aren't perfected, then steroids shouldn't be added. And sorry, it takes longer than 1-2 years to get a good grasp on the complexities of diet and nutrition.

It doesn't seem to matter though what anyone says. This is how America is now. Everyone wants instant gratification. But instead of gratification, shortcuts lead to dead ends.

Oh well, we can still try. Hopefully these young guys with heads full of dreams can understand that WE have been there. We're not just being paranoid assholes. Years of experience produces knowledge and hopefully SOMEONE can see that maybe we DO know a thing or two.
 
good thread here!!!! BBJ and Iabadman are cool dudes. I'm 21 years old and already I know that diet is the most important thing along with sleep. I'm done a few small cycles like 250mg of test a week for 8 weeks but I understand from what you guys have taught me that gear should be the last time you use to enhance your body. Thanks to you guys I know this. And I thank everyone here for everything they have taught me. It's a great board :D Because in the end WE only have each other to teach other people.
 
i enjoyed reading your post iabadman, thank you for that...you have an interesting and admirable take on your life
 
BBJ .....thanks bro ! I appreciate the kinds words and take pride in the fact that my love and loyality shines through about the ones that I am close to . You seem to be a man that wears many hats and I feel you add alot to any board that you are a part of . I definately wouldn't want to be involved in any internet pissing match with you though.....lol. And the sensitivity that you extended BaldNazi when the chips were down showed you are a class act . In my life , I am the fixer . Everyone comes to me for something .The boards are my escape .[ the same way magazines were as a kid ] I have a good life and many friends , but there is alot of pressure constantly to help make everyone happy and better . I am cool with doing so and feel priviliged that I can be of assistance , but often I want me time . This is it !!!! I share my time with you guys and learn alot about myself while doing so . There great people here and feel blessed to be part of PM .[ to think I got banned my first day nearly 2 years ago .....thanks Ivan .....Excell , and Mike S ....they encouraged me to stay ....And thanks Big A for having me [ you are one of my idols bro ] ] BBJ .......I am glad you are trying to be a positive here , if one person listens we did good ......

And thanks fellas .......I get disillusioned at times with posting . I have lots to share , but I have had a few bad internet expirences[not so much here ] and it has made me alittle gun shy ......I want to contribute more , but I am alittle wary .....
 
I think I speak for all of us, when I say contribute as much and as often as you can, all of us can learn tons from you, and would love to read anything and everything you would post
 
You're right, Iabadman. I've had a whole shit load of hats :D . I'm trying to hang 'em all up though. I spent 5 years as lord of the flame wars. That crap got old. I just lost the energy for that stuff. Plus, it started stressing me out :p . All that stuff that happened on the UG was just basically me going through hell in my personal life and I was ready to fuckin' snap at anyone and everyone...on the internet and in real life. I really wasn't myself. I was in kill mode. I have no problems with the UG guys and I hope they can all eventually forgive my psychotic stupidity as well.
 
We can all relate to your last post [ at least I can ] . It is nice to see that you are back to the real you . I hope that you are starting to find some true happiness in your life and I know for alot of us that ain't easy ......Stay positive man , it is the one thing , that has helped get me through all of the brutal shit that I have been through .negativity has no place in my life or yours either . I have always had people drawn to me ever since I started lifting weights . I asked my best friend since I was 11 the other day , why ? He said simple ," Jason , you make everyone around feel better about being themselves. Thats why you have friends in all shapes and sizes and from all different back grounds . People flock to you because you treat them how you want to be treated . You don't care what a person looks like or where he comes from .If they have honor and respect ,you extend a kind hand to them even if your life sucks at that moment . " It made me feel good to him say that . And I know I went off the right path for awhile and my parents were very dissapointed , but if they could hear that I know they would be very proud. Stay positive BBJ , it is a better way to live my friend ....
 
yeah i went wrong in this game when i chose the gear as well. it ruined my life. i was also popped. 3 years ago, when i was 19 they got me possession for sale for 1600 thai dbol. in 2 days i get my felony reduced and probation terminated. still it will never be the same as it will show on the record arrested/dismissed. its done and i ruined my life over it. will never be a cop or high class worker. makes me wanna kill everyone now. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
 
Excellent post IBM...
 
BigBoyJ said:
You're right, Iabadman. I've had a whole shit load of hats :D . I'm trying to hang 'em all up though. I spent 5 years as lord of the flame wars. That crap got old. I just lost the energy for that stuff. Plus, it started stressing me out :p . All that stuff that happened on the UG was just basically me going through hell in my personal life and I was ready to fuckin' snap at anyone and everyone...on the internet and in real life. I really wasn't myself. I was in kill mode. I have no problems with the UG guys and I hope they can all eventually forgive my psychotic stupidity as well.
BBJ. The class you showed with BN recently shows that you are stand up guy. It takes a real man to admit when he's wrong and as far as I'm concerned your "psychotic stupidity" doesn't need to be forgiven. We're all human and we all go through difficult times in our lives.
 
Much appreciated, Kane. My mental health is nice and stable again. At least that's what the flying purple dwarf who lives in my left shoe told me. ;)
 
IAB I remember that first day and chuckle. Your are great guy and when I think of you, the part about being a loyal buddy stands out. I agree that AS is not the answer. I also hate when guys are not willing to work for what the have, like BBJ said want to jump on a cycle within months of starting training.
There are levels of advancement and education, that being the last step.
Training/kineseology expertise, Diet/nutrition, supplements, advanced supplementation, AS being the thing you use when youve reached your limit
of incorporating all other tools. And you should study AS for 6mo minimum before using IMO.

Starkraven-Im pretty sure you can get that expounged off your record - it may cost a few $ for a lawyer to do the paperwork.
 
Iabadman said:
.......I get disillusioned at times with posting . I have lots to share , but I have had a few bad internet expirences [not so much here] and it has made me alittle gun shy ......I want to contribute more , but I am alittle wary .....
We've all had those experiences at "other" boards :rolleyes:

Hopefully, you don't have to worry about that here.
 

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