A little insight needed

TestPolska · Sep 20, 2007

Hey guys, I've never been one to talk about my feelings even if something bothered me alot, I wouldn't say anything to anyone, I'd keep it to myself and inside. Well recentally I thought I'd try and deal with some of my problems, To put it simply the Dam broke. And now that is has I really can't stop it.

I'm severely depressed but never sought help because quite frankly I'm embarressed of it. I have panic attacks fairly often. I broke up with a girl quite sometime ago, But she ripped my heart out and I never really got over it. I'm having pressure put on me to perform at work. I'm tired, sore, exhausted, all I want to do is hit the gym and sleep, appitite is gone. Like I said I'm not one to talk about my problems to anyone, I am very embarressed and self concious about it. But sometimes for no reason throughout the day I'll be brought to the point of tears for no apparent reason at all. Hurting like this sucks, The mental anguish is far more intense than any physical pain I've ever endured. I feel like I'm meeting resistance at every turn, With everything. Alot of the time I think I'd be better off dead, and have accually put some thought into the idea, the more I do the more it seems like it would be a good idea.

Of course I'd like to avoid the above solution. So I'm going to see a professional to talk about my problems. I'll probably be put on sometype of anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds. What do you guys think of these? I'm afraid of these, I want them to help me, but I certainly don't want to become a slave to these things. I just want to be the me I am now, but happy, Shit happy would be awesome, but I'd settle for content.

Sorry guys but I'd really at my end here and just need a little insight on my next move because I'm lost.

JustWannaBeHuge · Sep 20, 2007

I was on AD for a long time. I'm like you, I had very bad panic attacks for no reason. I've learned to deal with them and I've learned how to become more confident in myself. If the meds will help you, then by all means, get on them. But IMO, they are not the *only* thing you need. I would say you need an outlet, even if its not a professional, you need someone to talk to.

He who holds it all inside, just creates more problems. I buried memories for over 15 years and and when they resurfaced, caused me more damage then I could handle. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed, depression/panic attacks can hit anyone of us, nothing to feel ashamed by.

You said that this started after your girl left you? Don't worry about women right now, concentrate on yourself. I know its hard to not have a girl around when you want someone to hold (sorry for sounding like a punk lol) but you'll get over it.

At this time, concentrate on making yourself better. Don't look at tomorrow as just another day, but look at it as a new beginning.

Good luck.
Rob

OuchThatHurts · Sep 20, 2007

TestPolska said:
Hey guys, I've never been one to talk about my feelings even if something bothered me alot, I wouldn't say anything to anyone, I'd keep it to myself and inside. Well recentally I thought I'd try and deal with some of my problems, To put it simply the Dam broke. And now that is has I really can't stop it.

I'm severely depressed but never sought help because quite frankly I'm embarressed of it. I have panic attacks fairly often. I broke up with a girl quite sometime ago, But she ripped my heart out and I never really got over it. I'm having pressure put on me to perform at work. I'm tired, sore, exhausted, all I want to do is hit the gym and sleep, appitite is gone. Like I said I'm not one to talk about my problems to anyone, I am very embarressed and self concious about it. But sometimes for no reason throughout the day I'll be brought to the point of tears for no apparent reason at all. Hurting like this sucks, The mental anguish is far more intense than any physical pain I've ever endured. I feel like I'm meeting resistance at every turn, With everything. Alot of the time I think I'd be better off dead, and have accually put some thought into the idea, the more I do the more it seems like it would be a good idea.

Of course I'd like to avoid the above solution. So I'm going to see a professional to talk about my problems. I'll probably be put on sometype of anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds. What do you guys think of these? I'm afraid of these, I want them to help me, but I certainly don't want to become a slave to these things. I just want to be the me I am now, but happy, Shit happy would be awesome, but I'd settle for content.

Sorry guys but I'd really at my end here and just need a little insight on my next move because I'm lost.

You need to see a doctor right away and not be embarrassed. You worry that you might become enslaved to the drugs that might help you live a happier life? Aren't you enslaved now to your depression, anxieties, fears, etc.? Aren't those emotions governing you right now? You can take back control.

You need to call or see a doctor right away and if you can't see one in their office, get to an emergency care facility right away!

buffbabeca · Sep 20, 2007

test- please listen to the two previous posts on here.. OTH knows what he is talking about..... if u need a friend to lend an ear.. i know ANY of bros/sis on here would listen but i think you need to talk to a professional and PLEASE do not be embarassed.

MAINEVENT · Sep 20, 2007

Test....listen to these folks. Believe me, im sure more people have felt this way than you realize, so there is NO reason to be embarassed.

I was in your place a couple years ago. I had no reasons for feeling this way, but i did seek help (meds and talking to a friend) and it helped tremendously.

Amazon Doll · Sep 20, 2007

Don't worry about the Meds. 10 years ago I had a horrible depression and was also have rages when I couldn't control my world. Evrything was spiraling out of control. I went to a Doc who put me on meds and that calmed me down and eased my depression.

When I could think clearly again I realised that my way of thinking and viewing the world created my misery and I made a lot of changes and worked with a Doc about what was going on in my head.

I was able to get off the med in a short time, but couldn't imagine having to exist 1 more minute in the pain I was in.

EVERLAST · Sep 20, 2007

been there............

Started a business and then bought out my 2 partners after 3 years of "evaporating money" then 9 months later my "loving wife" of 10 years left me with 35 K of credit card debt I knew nothing about, and took 30 K out of the payroll account and drove away in the BMW I bought her!

For about 2 years I worked hard but constantly was smoking dope and taking pain pills. I felt dead inside. I felt life was hopeless and if not for my daughter I would have blown my brains out....

Time has a way of leading us back to ourselves.
I met this trainer from my past who put me back in touch with my own true self. my first loves of health and lifting and eating right and then giving up the dope ...which was very hard. Anti depressants helped me when I was at my very worst and then did nothing more. You have to get to the root of the problem.
Talk to professionals and get to the root causes. talking is not weakness its strength. Showing your emotions is strength.
You're tired because you are carrying a huge load.

PM me if you need someone else to talk to...slow pain and I are old friends.
I'll help you learn how to deal with him.

do not give up!

buffbabeca · Sep 20, 2007

great post everlast... i think we have all been there in some shape or form.... please Test reach out to any of us on this board.. we are here to listen anytime.. =)

TestPolska · Sep 20, 2007

Thanks for the support guys. It really means alot, Haven't had much support around me for a while, Even though I don't know any of you on a personal level it means alot to me. Thanks guys.

aquaholic · Sep 20, 2007

OuchThatHurts said:
You need to see a doctor right away and not be embarrassed. You worry that you might become enslaved to the drugs that might help you live a happier life? Aren't you enslaved now to your depression, anxieties, fears, etc.? Aren't those emotions governing you right now? You can take back control.

You need to call or see a doctor right away and if you can't see one in their office, get to an emergency care facility right away!

I wish i got this advice earlier on than i did ...
OTH couldn't have said it better.

PS. Don't read horror stories about med's, ect ... That prevented me from getting the help I needed early on.

Life is too short.
Take care of yourself.

oldfella · Sep 20, 2007

Depression is nothing to be embarassed about. As OTH has said you need to get to a doctor ASAP. Depression will ruin you man. Get it delt with and get back to being the man that you are! Not the one you are now. I can give no qualified advice other than get to the GP. You will be fine bro. No shame here! The real shame is if you sit and do nothing about it!

EUROMUSCLE · Oct 5, 2007

Meds will help you but try not to rely solely on them. I don't know how old you are but what you should do is look back in life where you were happy and try to obtain that hapiness. Maybe you lived in a different city where you were successfull and everything was going great.