BEST MAN SPEECH?

[Vander_V]

I was wondering how many of you have had to make a speech as a best man, I have until next Friday to come up with a good one, This is going to be a very prestigous wedding with at least 350 people, now Ive thought of throwing in some jokes here and there but what im having a hard time with is how to make them sound funny yet not offensive in anyway, also the base of the speech has got to be solid with a large crowd like this i kinda have some shit written down and will have no problem speaking in front of people i dont ever get that stage fright shit , but i wanna hear some ideas from you guys anything youve heard , said or stood out thanks.

 

[Steak Helmet]

I have given 2 best man speeches...both were funny and tasteful...remember these are not your drinking buddies, old ass people do not want to hear how he was naked running down the street with a broom stick up his ass.

 

[Nssca]

Lets give vander the " Lets talk about "ANYTHING BUT BODYBUILDING" award...
LOL Just fucin witch ya bro

 

[Vander_V]

Lets give vander the " Lets talk about "ANYTHING BUT BODYBUILDING" award...
LOL Just fucin witch ya bro

LOL ahh bodybuilding borring to me to talk about , thats what the gyms for my brotha talk in there and leave it in there so everyone doesnt have to hear the same bullshit a million times over

 

[Jarconis]

talk about how after your buddy rails his wifey, hes throws down some protein and dextrose while hes still in his "anabolic window", im sure that'll get the old folks riled up

 

[Big Bapper]

I had to act on behave of the father of the bride at my sisters wedding last month and was in the same postition as you Vander. Try Google there are some great best man speechs on there and if you search there is free ones. What I did was took the best out of a few good ones and mixed then up a little. The guests loved it..........the manager of the hotle said it was one of the best ever and she hears 100s every year.

 

[db006]

I had to act on behave of the father of the bride at my sisters wedding last month and was in the same postition as you Vander. Try Google there are some great best man speechs on there and if you search there is free ones. What I did was took the best out of a few good ones and mixed then up a little. The guests loved it..........the manager of the hotle said it was one of the best ever and she hears 100s every year.

thats funny i was gonna suggest the same thing. google will find you anything.

 

[lookatpicture]

google is a great idea. also, rely on the good memories you've had together

 

[TooPowerful4u]

Whatever u do.... dont mention the mexican on the beach story... or the shit on the chest story ok? LMFAO

You can definatly mention the pool bathroom story :-D hahahahahaha wow thats great im cryin

 

[gravityfighter]

Joke........Say "I don't know much,but he's(name) a lot better judge of character than she(name) is....." it's one of those long to get started laughs then even the one's that don't get it laugh....hey Vander if you don't get it let me know I'll explain it to ya.
Peace,GF
p.s. Hint: It's not good to get fallin down drunk when your the best man!

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Make sure it's from the heart. IMO, preplanned toasts are just sterile. If you come from the heart, you'll find the right words. You love him, you love her, you wish them the best, etc. etc. and it will be genuine. Besides, nobody wants to stand there with their glass in the air for 10 minutes. If you go that route make sure you say "Before I get to the toast, I'd like to share a story will all of you..."

If you need a joke, I always single out one of my friends who is a real character and start off with, as you look around the room, give a nod to each - "Family.... friends.... DON!...." - always get's a laugh.

Keep it simple and genuine in other words, can't go wrong.

[EDIT] ps.. good luck bro!

 

[JasonWojo]

I've done two -

Suggestions:
1. Don't make it long-winded. Maybe 2 minutes or so
2. Throw in a few tasteful wisecracks, but also mention some sappy stuff about them finding eachother, blah blah blah
3. Summarize with something simple but catchy like "For you two to be happy all you need to do is love one another...it's as easy and sometimes as difficult as that".

 

[TeamZ]

rent the movie 4 weddings and a funeral, Hugh grant does an awesome toast!

 

[troponin]

I wrote out my speech, and purposely left out some important words.

Before I started the speech, I said that I had a tough time finding the right words to say at certain parts. And, since everyone here knows him as well as I do, I thought you could help.

Then I made it like the game "mad libs." I asked for an "adjective" or "verb" or "noun," etc., where they were needed in my toast. So when I read through my toast, the random words they gave to "describe" the groom were thrown in to the spots I left blank.

Because everyone was using words they thought would fit for the groom, it ended up being pretty funny.

Everyone seemed to get a good laugh out of it.

 

[Larry Bowie]

best closing line:

"... and may all your ups and downs be in the bedroom."

then show your shit-eating grin to the father of the bride






ps, if you need help last minute, i gave one that was pretty good. had a few people in tears. not sappy, just a solid, hearfelt speach.

 

[G.E.R.M]

LOL ahh bodybuilding borring to me to talk about , thats what the gyms for my brotha talk in there and leave it in there so everyone doesnt have to hear the same bullshit a million times over

so you are actually in the gym when you post here ?? i am confused...

 

[Kahn]

Don't get too uptight. Sex has been the #1 seller since the 20's. Probably sooner but records weren't kept. Anyway, keep it light, tell her if she wouldn't have married him, you would have. Wish them the best and that all the ups and downs are between the sheets. Bring up some dumbshit move he did with/for/because of her and mention how great both sets of their parents are and how they did a good job. --Then lay out your sex tips for them to marvel at, bust out a rear lat spread and challenge all those pussies to the front squat challenge. Good luck Holmes, can we come?

 

[terryd5150]

... bust out a rear lat spread and challenge all those pussies to the front squat challenge. Good luck Holmes, can we come?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[PHIL HERNON]

I know something funny!!!

Show everyone a clip from your DVD!!!! Take off your pants and hit a leg shot!

 

[marshall]

Vander, I'm going to have recommend you don't follow Phil's advice in this instance.

I've done some speach writing and composition in the past and still do on some occasions, so here's how I'd apporach it.

It's a large gathering, prestigous guests etc...that is telling you 2 things: Stay away from personal stories that only a few know, as not many will "get it" and I would not go the humor or lame joke route to get a laugh.

Keep it brief, sincere and from the heart.

Most of these people are not intimate friends, so they are not going to be interested in a 10-15 minute long winded best wishes speach.

If you're not introduced, introduce yourself, describe the length and quality of your friendship with the groom and how much him and his happiness mean to you, speak to him directly, even though you are addressing the crowd.

Describe what a special person the bride is and how happy she has made your friend and touch upon how happy they are as a couple and how well they compliment each other (you may have to make some of this up ), again, speak to her and them directly even though you are addressing the crowd.

Wish them the best, offer up a toast to their happiness and longevity and let the party roll from there.

ETA <5 minutes, everyone's happy and drinking, eating and carrying on.

If you have a certain story you feel you should share, by all means do, just have the structure of the story down pat, so you can deliver it clearly and concisely, so those that don't "know" about it, will still find it amusing.

Good luck, just be yourself !