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- Joined
- Feb 21, 2003
- Messages
- 715
"Ive made it my personal mission to make this thread the most famous, well read thread
in the history of the internet. Im aiming for 2 billion views at the very least. I would like to see it get to the point that Brooklyn Juice cant even go out to the mailbox without getting sexaully assaulted by hoardes of women due to his incredible
fame. Unbeknownst to him I have started a propaganda campaign building the Brooklyn
Juice legend out there on the streets. Its taken alot of savvy and even more bullshit. Some of the topics I have put out there to start the BrooklynJuice phenomenon---
a)he is the sixth member of the Backstreet boys but stepped aside due to the extreme chafing he got from wearing leather pants (I usually tell that to groups of teenage girls and theres alot of screaming, fainting and "oh my god!")
b)He has superpowers and ESP but
refuses to use them for the betterment of mankind (except his xray vision which he uses often in crowded malls)
c)His nickname around the locker room and shower room at his gym is "Horsecrank"
due to having the endowment of a Clydesdale
(I usually tell that to groups of college girls where there is screaming, fainting and so far 2 orgasmic frenzies)
d)He is the only man every photographed and documented that could spin like a top with an erection. (Guiness Book of Records 2003 Edition-althought they refused to print the picture)
e)He is the inventor of the Intel chip, saline breast implants, pop tarts and the phrase "fuck off"
f)He has also patented a "Viagra Splint" which is nothing more than 2 popsicle sticks and a rubber band.
g)His sexual stamina is legendary and he has perfected a sexual move called the "Bulgarian Pretzel" which has left many a man crippled (and dead) from trying it. So far he has been unscathed except for a broken knuckle, a slight cut on the forehead and a dislocated scapula. (Told to groups of women about 25-40 years old--there was alot of oohs, aahs, fainting, screaming and plans for stalking)
e)He once risked his own life swimming out into rugged ocean waters to save 3 baby
kittens who were stranded on a piece of cardboard (Told to groups of women 40 years old and up--there was screaming, panting, one orgasm (she thought--it was really gas) and 3 heart attacks
f)After taking and completing the Mensa IQ test in a phenomenal 27 seconds and scoring an astronomical 335 he turned to the Mensa Board and said "Thats it??? Anyone up for a game of chinese checkers?!"
g)Is strictly and sternly Heterosexual but did wake up in a drunken stupor one morning in a San Francisco Turkish steambath with a bullseye painted on his ass and has no idea
what happened the night before-(Told to groups of gay guys who high five each other and say "Oh yeah thats what im talking about!")
h)He killed a 16 foot Nile Crocodile with nothing but his bare hands and a thermos of green tea
and theres many more "
lol
in the history of the internet. Im aiming for 2 billion views at the very least. I would like to see it get to the point that Brooklyn Juice cant even go out to the mailbox without getting sexaully assaulted by hoardes of women due to his incredible
fame. Unbeknownst to him I have started a propaganda campaign building the Brooklyn
Juice legend out there on the streets. Its taken alot of savvy and even more bullshit. Some of the topics I have put out there to start the BrooklynJuice phenomenon---
a)he is the sixth member of the Backstreet boys but stepped aside due to the extreme chafing he got from wearing leather pants (I usually tell that to groups of teenage girls and theres alot of screaming, fainting and "oh my god!")
b)He has superpowers and ESP but
refuses to use them for the betterment of mankind (except his xray vision which he uses often in crowded malls)
c)His nickname around the locker room and shower room at his gym is "Horsecrank"
due to having the endowment of a Clydesdale
(I usually tell that to groups of college girls where there is screaming, fainting and so far 2 orgasmic frenzies)
d)He is the only man every photographed and documented that could spin like a top with an erection. (Guiness Book of Records 2003 Edition-althought they refused to print the picture)
e)He is the inventor of the Intel chip, saline breast implants, pop tarts and the phrase "fuck off"
f)He has also patented a "Viagra Splint" which is nothing more than 2 popsicle sticks and a rubber band.
g)His sexual stamina is legendary and he has perfected a sexual move called the "Bulgarian Pretzel" which has left many a man crippled (and dead) from trying it. So far he has been unscathed except for a broken knuckle, a slight cut on the forehead and a dislocated scapula. (Told to groups of women about 25-40 years old--there was alot of oohs, aahs, fainting, screaming and plans for stalking)
e)He once risked his own life swimming out into rugged ocean waters to save 3 baby
kittens who were stranded on a piece of cardboard (Told to groups of women 40 years old and up--there was screaming, panting, one orgasm (she thought--it was really gas) and 3 heart attacks
f)After taking and completing the Mensa IQ test in a phenomenal 27 seconds and scoring an astronomical 335 he turned to the Mensa Board and said "Thats it??? Anyone up for a game of chinese checkers?!"
g)Is strictly and sternly Heterosexual but did wake up in a drunken stupor one morning in a San Francisco Turkish steambath with a bullseye painted on his ass and has no idea
what happened the night before-(Told to groups of gay guys who high five each other and say "Oh yeah thats what im talking about!")
h)He killed a 16 foot Nile Crocodile with nothing but his bare hands and a thermos of green tea
and theres many more "
lol
