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Eating Disorder

walker11

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A good friend of mine, she's more like a sister to me, called me today and told me she has an eating disorder, I've known this for a while but she finaly came clean about it. She is absolutely beautiful and has never been a big girl, only 5'1 and has gone from weighing 112 lbs. to 80 lbs. in about 4 months. She told me she's only eating 600 calories a day but doesn't always keep it down, sometimes she throws it back up or she will take laxatives becuase she feels so guilty about eating. I told her how what she's doing is affecting her organs and what not, and told her if she wants to fly (she's a cheerleader) this football season she needs to be at least 95 lbs or she will pas out from exhaustion or get seriously hurt if she is dropped. I even offered to hire a nutritionist for her and start taking her to the gym with me, but all she could say was that food scares her and when she eats she feels guilty. She said at first she just wanted to get toned, then she wanted to get skiny for her boyfriend, and now things are out of control and she doesn't know how to stop because she can't bring herself to eat.
Now i'm a guy and a powerlifter so im focused on getting bigger and stronger and therefore don't know what it's like to be scared of eating and feeling guilty about it. What do i tell her and do for her to help her get through this? Like i said, this girl is like a sister to me and i'm concerned she's going to end up in the hospital if she don't turn things around soon. Any guidance yall can offer as to how to help her would be very much appreciated.
 

Amazon Doll

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There are serious electrolyte imbalances caused by Anorexia/Bulimia that can cause serious heart damage! She needs medical care immediatly.
 

Snow White

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There are serious electrolyte imbalances caused by Anorexia/Bulimia that can cause serious heart damage! She needs medical care immediatly.
It's also a psychological disorder. She needs that help as well.
 

walker11

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She lives about 6 hours away from me so i can't get her to a doctor or a psycologist untill pre-season starts in late august unless she takes herself, and i don't see that happening right now. I tried explaining to her that when she was over 110 every guy on campus thought she was beautiful and there was no need to drop weight, and she admitted to me that she was happy back then and is unhappy now cause she knows she's sick but don't know how to fix herself.
 

Amazon Doll

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Flood her with info on the disorders life threatening repercusions. Don't wait till season!
 

tkav1980

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Call her parents and her boyfriend. If you cant Physically go help her, get in touch with someone who can. This is an emergency and you really dont have any options.
 

Amazon Doll

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Call her parents and her boyfriend. If you cant Physically go help her, get in touch with someone who can. This is an emergency and you really dont have any options.
You are right...this is an emergency and this is the right response.
 

walker11

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i talked to her dad today and he said that he's trying to get her to eat but he can't force her and since they don't have health insurance going to a doc is kinda hard to do. There's no point in talking to her boyfriend cause he's too high most of the time to really care and him and i don't exactly get along.
Last night she told me she put down about 2000 cal. (mostly junk food) and felt guilty so she's only going to eat 500 for the rest of the week. I let her know about the damage she's doing to herself both in the short and long term but i don't think she's taking me seriously. Right now i'm just trying to get her back up to 95 lbs (thats the weight we agreed on for pre-season) and when her and i get back to school i'm going to take her to the school psycologist and be at her appartment 3-4 times a day to make sure she's eating. Is there anything else i can do till pre-seaon to help her not just eat but also not be scared to eat?
 

tkav1980

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If her parents cant afford to foot the bill can you help with some money? i dont know of any free services or id be happy to point you in the right direction. pull off her BF's arms when you see him.
 

walker11

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I'm barely able to afford myself right now because i just had shoulder surgery 4 weeks ago, haven't worked since the injury in may and can't work till im better because of what i do (i'm a bouncer so i need both arms to work and get a pay check). I offered to get her a nutritionist becuase i could scrape up the money for that for her, but medical bills are something i can't do for her, i'm barely able to pay my own with the money i had saved from past years. Once we're back at school though they have some free medical services with the nurses and school psycologist but thats it.
And believe me, if her bf didn't live on the other side of the country i woulda beat the life out of him by now. he's the reason all this started because he wanted her to tone up and drop a little wieght. She was only 112 lbs!! there was no weight to drop. there was another boyfriend that tried the same shit with my best friend, who happens to be female (5 ft. and 95 lbs of pure sexy), but he made the mistake of saying that when i was around i told him i don't say something if i don't mean it and i will break one of his bones for every pound that she looses. they broke up a week later.
i realy wish this girl woulda said something before she got this out of control cause then it would have been easier to help her.
 

Drift Wood

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Unfortunately the system of care, as it is currently designed, is willing to help some illnesses/disorder more than others. There is funding available to help individuals with a major mental illness, hell there's even money to provide prisoners with medical treatment... but eating disorders... these are not deserving enough...

As for what you can do... I'll shoot you a pm in the next day or so...

DW
 

Drift Wood

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Like i said, this girl is like a sister to me and i'm concerned she's going to end up in the hospital if she don't turn things around soon. Any guidance yall can offer as to how to help her would be very much appreciated.

Please know that ending up in the hospital is not automatically a bad thing. Sometimes hospital actaully do what they were designed to do.... Which is to (insert sarcasm here) FUCKING HELP PEOPLE!!! Things don't always work out so smoothly... but please if you have any questions about eating disorders, accessing some of agency links I sent you... essentially I may be able to help you sort out how community health clinics work... If you'd like I can even shoot you my email...

Just let me know.

DW
 

walker11

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I aint saying going to the hospital would be a bad thing, i've been there enough times to prove the docs there are good at what they do lol. I just don't want to see her drop on the side lines during a hot football game or fall 12-15 ft. out of a stunt cause she don't have the energy to hold herself up there the whole time, then have to watch her leave in the back of an ambulance when the whole thing could have been prevented if she would have eaten and been a healthy weight.
Do have another question though. Right now i challanged her/set a goal for her to be over 90 lbs. by pre-season (gain 10 lbs). Is setting goals like that and pushing her to gain weight a good idea or should i just keep giving her support and when she does eat (and keep it down) tell her she's doing a good job?
 

richiec

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i talked to her dad today and he said that he's trying to get her to eat but he can't force her and since they don't have health insurance going to a doc is kinda hard to do. There's no point in talking to her boyfriend cause he's too high most of the time to really care and him and i don't exactly get along.
Last night she told me she put down about 2000 cal. (mostly junk food) and felt guilty so she's only going to eat 500 for the rest of the week. I let her know about the damage she's doing to herself both in the short and long term but i don't think she's taking me seriously. Right now i'm just trying to get her back up to 95 lbs (thats the weight we agreed on for pre-season) and when her and i get back to school i'm going to take her to the school psycologist and be at her appartment 3-4 times a day to make sure she's eating. Is there anything else i can do till pre-seaon to help her not just eat but also not be scared to eat?
Baker Act. It is for people who are hurting themselves. It's been said before, get her to a hospital. Maybe a psyc ward is the answer. Her dad cannot force her to eat, a hospital can! Regardless of insurance, you tell him this, "how much is your daughters life worth to you?"

Insurance or not, she needs help NOW!!! She might not be there when season time comes around ya know. If she has to miss a season because she's sick (and that's what she is) than so be it, at least she can get better.
 

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