Fuck it..Im back in the gym!!

[BALDNAZI]

Its been 6 weeks since my liver surgery.And 1 week since I had a shoulder abcess removed in my left dealt.Doctor doesnt want me to do anything but cardio until late August.So what the hell do I do?

I weighed myself the other day 195-196lbs,hmm,thats about 50 fucking lbs. I lost since the tumor ruptured 2 months ago and Im almost crossed to the other side where either the angels fly or the demons poke you with pitchforks. 50 FUCKING POUNDS!!! all I have been doing is walking and walking some more.There is a real nice promenade here along the waterfront,and I walked that bitch almost everyday the past 2weeks.Yea,nice walk,and I have been feeling alot better but something was missing.

I went to my friends gym 3 times this past week and a half.I decided to go there because no one knows me,I can start over fresh without all the looks and questions "holy shit,what happened?"

All I can say is what a humbling experience.The weights feel heavy,even the damn bar felt heavy the first day.But today,my 3rd time in there,I wore a tanktop..fuck it.And guess what,Im already stronger,I had a real nice pump that caused my friend to say "wow dude,you look great".Im pleased considering everything that I went through,I look pretty good,cut and tight,with a hint of the serious thickness I had.

All I can do is upper body because the incision/scar is right on my upper abs and I want to avoid a hernia or other serious set back.

My arms are down from 21+in. to 18 inches,my shoulders,chest,back are all smaller,and weaker,but I have to say I looked in that mirror,flexed what I have,and I almost started crying right then and there.

Not tears of sadness,no way.I wanted to just keep flexing and cry tears of joy.Because,brothers Im alive,I almost met my maker 2 months ago.I have gone through fucking hell.Facing a fear of death,that noone should have to face.I spent nights alone in that hospital bed wishing that I did die.Crying my eyes out.Asking why the hell did this happen to me?Angry at myself,hating myself,and asking God why he left me,why put this on me?

And here I am today,I feel great,Im looking forward to life.My family is behind me 100%,my girl loves me unconditionaly.Im looking to start a new career soon and get engaged,start a family,live my life.And as I said,I will allow myself one simple pleasure,a few days a week in the gym,to feel the cold iron,to hear the sound of plates clanging together.To build my strength back,to become healthier then I ever was,to look better then I ever did.

Most people do not understand why the steel means so much to me,but you guys do.I walked in that gym and I felt like I was home.Im home brothers,Im home.......

 

[Diesel2323]

And here I am today,I feel great,I'm looking forward to life.My family is behind me 100%,my girl loves me unconditionally.I'm looking to start a new career soon and get engaged,start a family,live my life.And as I said,I will allow myself one simple pleasure,a few days a week in the gym,to feel the cold iron,to hear the sound of plates clanging together.To build my strength back,to become healthier then I ever was,to look better then I ever did.

Most people do not understand why the steel means so much to me,but you guys do.I walked in that gym and I felt like I was home.I'm home brothers,I'm home.......

I do not know you personally Baldnazi, but I have followed your posts and story on here. I am very happy to see you feeling better physically as well as mentally.

Welcome home.

 

[kidstuff]

you really have a way with words man. your posts have been really touching. you should compile them into a short story and send to muscular development or something. your story has to be shared with all the young guys so desperate for muscle NOW they'll go to any measure to achieve it, completly ingnoring what may happen in the future.

 

[phreak]

that really is a great idea- bn you should submit your story to MD.

 

[thebrick]

That's great news to hear you are back up on your feet and kicking a little ass. Iron is in your blood. Nothing wrong with that. Just be careful until everything is healed completely, learn from the past and move forward a smarter man. BTW, do you know how many guys in the gym would kill to have an 18" arm?

 

[MikeS]

What a great post! The man is back, and its nothing but uphill from here!
Things like this can really change your outlook on life completely, huh?!

Glad to hear a happy ending (and a new beginning) to a scary story.

 

[Vander_V]

Glad to hear it, it may be a struggle at first but dont forget muscle always remembers youll be back before you know it.

 

[Tills]

Welcome back. Remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Good luck on your journey.

 

[Big Ian]

Glad everything seems to be going well in your recovery bro and at the end of the day 18" arms aren't small compaired to the rest of the population & you can only get better. Keep up the good work

 

[BrooklynBB]

Awesome

Glad to hear you're back BN..

And yes, it is tempting, but brother, 18inch arms are the envy of the average gym rat. I'm sure you look incredible. Remember that your former self was drug induced. Your current physique is the result of hard work and how you really are supposed to look. So keep at it, you're going to get stronger, you're going to feel great. I'm really glad to hear that you're back, BN. Slow and steady .... and congrats to you for making your relationship with your girl a life-long one.

 

[Big Bapper]

Great to have you back Bro. Thats a speedy recovery. Your a true Iron Warrior. Respect

 

[Tom]

Moving forward now....

BN,
Glad to hear you're back in the gym. If you just take it slow and eat healthy , clean foods you'll be back before you know it. I think if you get yourself back up to 220 and stay ripped you'll be alot happier than if you go back up to 245-250. Get a good tan the rest of this summer and enjoy time with your girl and your family. Forget the tapemeasure and use the mirror to gage your progress. Keep moving forward my friend.

Tom

 

[W8killa]

glad to hear you are doing well. It sucks how it is the bad things in life that really give you a good perspective on what is really important. With everything else gone muscle doesnt mean shit. God speed my brother.

 

[Hiramabiff]

Ha ha ..that's my boy!! Iron for life.....No doubt bro..everyone hates you when you're fat or when you are small..but when you train properly, eat wisely, rest and recup and gain true muscle mass slowly but surely...The world is yours.

I always get tired of a lot of internet posers..talking that "oh man I am bulking up on 3 Big Macs, Biggie fries, Kfc"..."and I am pushing 250, 260, 270, 280". Yea bro your pushing that flabby semi muscular body around talking your swole!. See it can be somewhat productive to do that if you are running DNP, T3 and Clen..well but of course you can get away with it....Natural athelete...ummmm NO!!. Clean, wholesome, foods, just like the old school. The greatest anabolic..FOOD!!! Who is leaner? The nasty disease ridden pink swine who eats till he is freaking blind....Or is it that big huge muscular bull or cow who is constantly grazing.....eating "small meals" and moving on...It not rocket science..... There are times granted where you do have to push the mantel with food intake..and I mean push it!! But push it with clean foods, Whole eggs, peanut butter, skim milk, chicken ,turkey,fish, brown rice, yams etc. I see cats in the offseason eating egg whites..I am like what the freak? Eat more whole eggs and add egg whites if you like but not the other way around... Nothing wrong with a burger just buy lean beef.....steaks....etc. The body is a machine..feed it..Rely less on shakes and more on food.

Someone is always yelling I am 250lbs!! I am like okay..Where? Look at a real 250 like lets say Dennis James..If your 250 aint looking like that go sit down.

Remember be a bodybuilder first!! Since I am ranting and raving brother:

This is the real deal....Many of bro's and sis forget this so valuable point: Be a bodybuilder..a real simple concept. We tend to forget this. You simply have to ask this question, Are you a bodybuilder or do you just want the body? Do you love your training, your goals, and your growth or do you just want the body, at any EXPENSE- except work, discipline and courage? You want the degree, but not the school and the education. I'll take the medal, thanks ...just don't want to achieve it. Bodybuilding is a lifetime challenge, a lifestyle of health and longevity. Competive bodybuilding is on the hand a different animal, in particular if you are on the quest to obtain your Pro card.....unless you are a superior genetic freak..the darkside may come calling. Do you answer ? All is find and dandy..Think: What happens when you stop? You've got to stop sometime. It's a lonely road down. Emotions crash. Training often stops; cold. What happens when the health begins to fail because you became obsessed? Obsessed with the look...the hype, the attention ,the roar of the crowd, bigger, stronger ,faster, more ripped..Then comes the.....balding head, the liver and kidney damage, the mental and physical trauma the compromises are extraordinary and should be carefully considered. Yet the will- the ego- is so strong that the side effects are often dismissed. In a nutshell it comes down to what your goals are but more importantly are you really truly a bodybuilder...for life. Bodybuilding = strong and healthy bodies, Bodybuilding = confidence and high self esteem..Bodybuilding = improvement and dedication. Bodybuilding= goals and motivations.....I truly believe that anabolics are for the pros....not for the careless young buck who is truly not a BODYBUILDER. Lifting weights and chugging down protein powder does not make you a bodybuilder.....taking anabolics does not qualify you either...BODYBUILDING the lost true art.....

BaldNazi you are a bodybuilder. Hope you take some motivation from what I wrote.

PEACE= P.ositive E.lectrons A.ctivate C.onstructive E.nergy

 

[edge250]

baldnazi & hiramabiff........both awesome posts. baldnazi i think you got a second chance in life because god wanted you to go on an do something truely great with your life. seize the day brother, best of luck

 

[atlas668]

abscess?

baldnazi, what gave you that abscess in your delt? that shit sux.

 

[mike1107]

dude I'm fuckin happy u back to the gym

as I said via PM, u'll heal and become stronger than ever !!

you DA MAN !!

 

[Ashop]

You are a true iron soldier. Inspiration to hear your back in the gym.

 

[Vespa103]

Congrats BN I think you will find its much easier to get back to where you were than it was getting there in the first place. Your health and ability to train is something we all take for granted at least you didn't something that prevents you from training

 

[b-boy]

BN welcome back bro, me and you don't always see eye to eye on some things but dammit bro its post like that, that MAKES me respect you! welcome back and take it nice and slow and above all.... ENJOY LIFE.