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Known girl for 20 years, still drama

AVelasques911

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Apr 2, 2016
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163
36 right now, dated a girl when I was 16.... it was intense, in a good way. I ditched her at the time and basically just went off the radar without properly saying goodbye because I was hanging with a bad crowd, into drugs etc. at the time and she had a really good head on her shoulders so as painful as it was I thought it'd be best if she moved on and found someone more like her.

Through the years I'd hear from her now and then, it was always very intense and just short to say hello and if i'm ok. I changed numbers multiple times, emails, even moved twice.... she still always found me.

I finally let her stay in touch with me for a bit, just the fact that she's been so persistent in knowing me for two decades, and like immediately all the feelings came flooding right back for both of us. I'm divorced so I'm fine, but she's married with kids and it's a lot tougher for her and I don't want to get too involved in that, she doesn't want to cheat either so we agreed to not meet as something will likely happen.

I just don't get why after 20 years it still feels like we are 16 the moment we talk, we've been through different lives, a bunch of relationships etc., and it's like the feelings are all still there on hold.... they should be long over, or at least not as strong.

The idea of getting rid of her has pretty much become obsolete, I mean it's been 20 years and i've done everything I can (including telling her we have to stay away from each other many times), she still finds me.

We had a talk and we're on the same page, we're both just as crazy about each other as we were back then.... but like I said she's married... i don't know what to do. The marriage is going very bad and lots of talk of divorce but that's a whole process.

Any advice in this situation?
 

richiec

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Yeah, stay away! You're hearing her side of the story which is typical, she's telling you how bad the marriage is and they're talking about a divorce and blah blah blah. She may just want a fling with you, my advice is to tell her to leave you alone until she actually gets the divorce
 

AVelasques911

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Apr 2, 2016
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Yeah, stay away! You're hearing her side of the story which is typical, she's telling you how bad the marriage is and they're talking about a divorce and blah blah blah. She may just want a fling with you, my advice is to tell her to leave you alone until she actually gets the divorce
Thank you! I'm pretty much ignoring her until/if she gets a divorce, that's an ordeal i don't need.. if it happens it happens, if not oh well. If she was single i'd go for it, 20 years is 20 years.

I do care about her though, I'm making her sound like scum but she's a sweetheart of a girl, I'm actually the one that put her through hell, she had to be with me through two overdoses and all kinds of drama i had as a youngster and she was still ready to marry me and i just said "screw this". So I do take my blame for what I did..... i know now she's told me she's very upset because if had not left her she would have stuck around and helped me go to rehab and we wouldn't have lost all this time etc.... so i'm certainly guilty of quite a bit, but i did what i knew at the time.

I'm long clean and sober now and it seems like things are just finally falling into place but yeah until that divorce is set in stone, i'm staying far.
 

richiec

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Nah man you aren't making her sound bad at all, I don't think she's a bad person in any way from what you've said. However, I wouldn't want to be in that situation of it were me. I get that you did some dumb stuff back in your younger days but don't feel guilty about it, things happen in life that make us who we are.

BTW, congrats on getting clean and sober man, sober for 10 years here brotha!!!
 

raw33man

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[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3An-7cl8M1c"]Leave Married Women Alone! - YouTube[/ame]
 

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