So I read a facebook post by George Leeman today that really resonated with me. He said he wished he could get back to hating himself so that he could go back to having no friends and no support and just punish himself through training.
I'm a firm believer that exuberance doesn't produce and I began training and a number of other things in my life (like insane obsession with grades in high school and college - 4.3 college gpa in mathematics at a major public university bitches) because I hated shortcomings in my life and thought that I could get positive attention if I stood out in other areas. These aren't serious shortcomings, but just general things like being shy or growing slower than all the other kids at school - basic stuff like that. Now that things are good (career, positive female attention, ect...) it is harder to train. I still love it, but it hasn't been the same. For the first time in years, I have that same bug I had that allowed me to bulk for years without regard to anything else.
Additionally, I read a similar quote from a guy who wrote into the Chaos and Pain greatest strength athlete contest. It read, "What else makes Klokov a total badass? The fact that he gives exactly zero fucks. This is the guy who decided to throw 4 years of training out the door and drop out of the London Olympics because he wanted to run another cycle. This is the guy who decided he’d fuck around with Crossfit out of what can only be assumed is boredom with his own sport. He then goes and does a bunch of seminars for American lifters who are all too busy bitching about USADA to actually lift anything heavy."
That is absolute gold. Not giving a single fuck is the absolute warrior mentality combined with a risk taking personality. I'm truly convinced of this. Nearly every powerlifting record holder has tattoos, binge drinks, and generally takes lots of risks. I read an article detailing the daily habits of intellectuals and polymaths like Tesla, Leibnitz, ect and they all did seemingly risky activities. I'm not advocating stupid acts, but I'm saying that the mentality that allows people to push the edge of humanity and become transhuman also has side effects and one of those is taking risks.
John Haack just broke the drug tested world record for 181 raw (wraps and no wraps and did it without wraps) with a 1708 total. He missed the all time wrapless record (ie including non tested) held by Ben Puccio by 2 lbs. He smoked a 2nd attempt of 679 (I believe) and could have taken the record if he hadn't gone for 705 on his third. The guy didn't give a fuck about the record though. He wanted to get 705 because he missed it at RUM 7. This is just one example of not caring.