More prrof nice guys finish last (aka I got dumped again)

[Blitzkrieg]

Well today I got a text message from someone I'd been seeing casually for a couple of months about meeting someone else, didn't plan for it to happen, never meant to hurt you, you're an awesome guy, etc etc.... This is someone I was really starting to like. We got along great, could hang out and have a great time, liked a lot of the same things... I thought I was doing everything right. It just hurts.

 

[buffbabeca]

Well today I got a text message from someone I'd been seeing casually for a couple of months about meeting someone else, didn't plan for it to happen, never meant to hurt you, you're an awesome guy, etc etc.... This is someone I was really starting to like. We got along great, could hang out and have a great time, liked a lot of the same things... I thought I was doing everything right. It just hurts.

i feel your pain hon.... it seems to be in the air lately..... dont let it get you down..... just keep "doing you" and when the time is right things will fall into place.... easier said then done , i know that all too well.

One thing you have to appreciate is that she was honest. the truth may hurt but at least she has enough respect for you to tell you... look at it that way.

 

[nosmas]

Sorry for the bad news my friend. Its to bad it had to be said ove a text message instead of face to face.

 

[jake76]

Sorry for the bad news my friend. Its to bad it had to be said ove a text message instead of face to face.

My thoughts exactly,you are better off without this type of person bro. Everyone deserves a certain level of respect... these type of people are either very immature or they just dont care.

 

[IronMike]

...

I agree with Beca, there is really something in the air at the moment. After my girlfriend of nearly two years walked out on me and went completely and horrifically cruel, and the same happened to a good mate of mine just last week, and a friend's mum did the same thing last month etc etc... I think something is fucked up in the stars, and I don't even believe in astrology.

Nice guys do finish last, but you gotta hope there is a nice girl out there somewhere. I'm a nice guy and the last few relationships I've had I've been done over royally in the end, probably because I'm honest which is boring.

Oh well, I tried rebounding and being "the man". Doesn't suit. Think it's better to be a "nice guy" alone than a dickhead you don't feel comfortable with getting all the girls. Chin up brother. IronMike

 

[JustWannaBeHuge]

dude, any chick (or guy) that breaks up with someone via text message (email) is a coward and has very little respect for the other person. JMO, I think you're better off without this chick.

 

[Kaiser]

I'm going to go on the contrary to others in this thread. I think since you were seeing her "casually" she didn't even have to tell you. I look at both of you as nice people. I think she dug down and put the effort into keeping your friendship and/or not hurting you. Casually seeing is usually just that; casual. If you would have found her out with someone it probably would have hurt you more. You have to give her credit for not trying to play both of you. I personally think she has at least a little bit of integrity from what you've posted so far. I am not going to sugar coat things, as it is tough for most people to find someone out there compatible, but nevertheless, she did take the time and put the effort out.

 

[thebrick]

hey Blitz... sorry to hear you are in pain. Look at it this way. This just opens up the door to find the right one. There is someone out there that you will meet that will make you forget about all this.

 

[VanR__]

Well, it was casual.
I am sorry to hear it though. From your posts, it don't sound like you'll find a rebound again very fast.
...back to being the single guy in your group again.

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

The world is changing, and so are the times. Every parent that has a child looses something by way of either morales or scrupals. They then turn around and have kids and more is lost in them. And the cycle repeats it self over and over again. Wether it be a male or female it's lost on. Who would have ever thought you would see a half naked women walking down the street in the middle of the day? Years ago you were chastized for something like that. Today it's perfectly normal. Years ago women were covered up at the beach. Today they are almost naked and no one blinks an eye. Before if a female wore a tattoo she was considred easy or a divorce. Today women have multiple tattoos and no one think twice about them.

Years ago people stayed together because of love, finances and commitment. Today folks get together for drinks and sex and whatever else they can rob(take) that person of while their together. The world is changing my friends. Just make sure you hold onto your values and you can live and die as you wanted to. And not conformed to this worlds changes. (just my .02) p.s. not ragging on women just staying on topic here.

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Thanks for the support bros and sis's. I do agree with Kaiser on this. What hurt is that I was wanting it to go farther with us. I thought I was playing it right here - taking it slow and not being too aggressive, but still showing I was interested. I just feel kind of like "you're good enough to f*ck, but not get serious with." I know that's most guys' wet dream, but I'm done with that part of my life. I'm not feeling as bad as I was yesterday, but it still gets to me. I think the text message was a cheap way out though.

 

[aquaholic]

dude, any chick (or guy) that breaks up with someone via text message (email) is a coward and has very little respect for the other person.

TEXT MESSAGE, EMAIL, MSN.
All apply!

Time to move on

 

[thebrick]

I think the text message was a cheap way out though.

It was a chicken sh*t way to handle it. Speaks volumes about her. You don't want that. There are plenty out there that will treat you with respect. You'll get what you ask for, hold out for what you deserve.

 

[Kaiser]

Thanks for the support bros and sis's. I do agree with Kaiser on this. What hurt is that I was wanting it to go farther with us. I thought I was playing it right here - taking it slow and not being too aggressive, but still showing I was interested. I just feel kind of like "you're good enough to f*ck, but not get serious with." I know that's most guys' wet dream, but I'm done with that part of my life. I'm not feeling as bad as I was yesterday, but it still gets to me. I think the text message was a cheap way out though.

I think you are looking at it clearer now. Sometimes it takes time for the emotional smoke to clear. How about you consider this: Maybe you should ask her about her feelings. I think she is trustworthy enough in my book to ask as she did go out of her way to let you know where she was headed. Ask her if she has feelings for you and be honest. At this point you have nothing to lose. But do it via phone or face to face. Not a text message. Start off by thanking her for being honest and respecting you. Then migrate slowly into asking her directly how she feels. It could possibly be that you, yourself were giving her the wrong vibe by being so casual. You may have made her feel like you didn't want things to move faster because of your timidness. Her answer may be surprising. And if she doesn't feel that way, I am sure she will be straight with you from how her personality sounds. Hey man, if you dont go after what you want in this world, someone else will and you'll end up with nothing. Tell her how you feel now that she is gone, and mention that you didn't predict that you would feel that way about her until now. People have done 180s for less, and like I said you have nothing to lose. The only thing that may take a hit is pride because it doesn't seem like she is the type to humiliate. Roll the dice.

 

[gutsandblood]

hey blitz

hey blitz. not sure how old you are. I'm 39. and I can tell you there have been more than 10 times in the past 20 years that a lady has pulled the heart right outta my chest and stepped on it(casual relation or what ever its called these days). Leave me wondering am I too short, not good looking enough, not enough money, or like you, just to much of a nice guy around a lady I like.(I am pretty cocky at work, other sitruations) I have always walked on eggshells with ladies. And it seems to be even more so with the advent of computers, and cell phones. I have been on first dates where the girl got a call and spent 15 minutes on the phone with a friend. It seems like there is such a great amount of hidden agenda with individuals today.

Now to the good news. All those girls that broke my heart. I don't even remember their names. hang in there bro.

 

[oldfella]

hey Blitz, i'm sorry to hear about this. Like IronMike said, there seems to be a lot of hurt out here at the current time. We all have our issues in life to deal with, it's just that dealing with broken hearts and emotions is one of the most difficult. Kaiser speaks some real words of wisdom here and since I have plenty of my own issues to deal with I'm sorry I can't add to this other than to say I'm with you bro! Things can only get better!

BTW, I don't but the "Nice Guys Finish Last" thing. It's just we tend to fall harder than others! We tend to be a little more sensitive than others.

 

[Phidias]

Until a few months ago when I nearly killed myself for whom I thought was "the love of my life", I used to think being nice was the best way to keep a woman on your side... HUGE MISTAKE

Sad but girls (at least the kind I like ) ) prefer "bad boys"... care too much for their feelings, needs, problems, etc... and they'll treat u like a friend... NOT LIKE A LOVER!!!

Keep your distances a tad bit, and if she's really interested you'll know soon enough

Read some stuff Vander wrote on the subject... provocative, for sure but true most of the time

Take some time to realize these things

 

[littlemack]

Until a few months ago when I nearly killed myself for whom I thought was "the love of my life", I used to think being nice was the best way to keep a woman on your side... HUGE MISTAKE

Sad but girls (at least the kind I like ) ) prefer "bad boys"... care too much for their feelings, needs, problems, etc... and they'll treat u like a friend... NOT LIKE A LOVER!!!

Keep your distances a tad bit, and if she's really interested you'll know soon enough

Read some stuff Vander wrote on the subject... provocative, for sure but true most of the time

Take some time to realize these things

Phidias! Please tell me you are joking!?!?!?! Man. This really hurts me to know that you went through this, and you know I've been there and tried to do the same. I was just asking Phil the other day how you were doing. I had NO idea about this. We are going to talk. Expect a PM.

Blitz and Phidias.
Listen guys. I know how easy it is to give your heart to someone, and you guys both have great hearts and want to share that. Don't let women change who you are. Sorry. Vander is a friend but has it wrong.
I think this says an aweful lot about your character, your ability to be trusted, and your compassion for people. Too often I have seen people in this couseling forum get onto one another with their "tough love" and wild assumptions and suggesting radical changes. You guys don't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear it.
With that being said. Please just take a step back and hang out with your single guy friends for a while. Even if it is just a short while. Have fun with your friends, go out and make new friends, but just don't jump into anything with anyone right now. I know I'm good at talking the talk, but Iabadman had to set me straight on a few things with this and how as bodybuilders we tend to have bigger hearts than most. We get hurt more easily, and we just feel more in general. And the AAS will just amplify these emotions even more.
See Blitz. If your mind was in the right place right now, then this wouldn't even be an issue but you may have given your heart just a little too soon. Like I always do. lol. So your hurting now even though things didn't get super serious. Just take it easy and spend time with close friends for a while. This will really speed up the healing process. Trust me.

 

[Phidias]

Phidias! Please tell me you are joking!?!?!?! Man. This really hurts me to know that you went through this, and you know I've been there and tried to do the same. I was just asking Phil the other day how you were doing. I had NO idea about this. We are going to talk. Expect a PM.

The sad thing about this, Mack, is I did SO MUCH work on myself to "never be weak again", that I'm now under the impression I'll never be able to fall in love again... a kind of frozen heart. My current gf? A GREAT GIRL... but there's no passion, at least on my side... I'm absolutely unable to experience any... I have suffered too much (hell... even lost in the process the business it had taken me 3 years to develop...).

NEVERMIND... I'M OK NOW AND WON'T LET ANYONE TAKE ME DOWN AGAIN.
And you never know... love (with a capital L) might very well reach me when I'm expecting it the least ... maybe will I even fall with my gf... hahaha

Enough for me. Sorry to have hijacked your thread, Blitzkrieg

 

[Kaiser]

Phi,
You can bet, there is a worthy adversary out there that will peak your interest. You just haven't found her yet. Take it from me, I have a lot of mileage.