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Need Help! Having sexual issues 😅

NEMSZ

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Please read everything guys I know there’s similar threads like this in recent days and a bunch of replies but didn’t want my situation to get lost in that thread so made my own, any help is appreciated;

So pretty much as the title says; for whatever reason I’m having issues with getting/maintaining a hard erection with this girl I’m dating despite me being very attracted to her and the moments before (kissing, touching etc) all being amazing and the mood being right etc..

I’m 31 years old on 200mg prescribed Test and never needed an AI at this dose so don’t think it’s hormonal, besides, when I’m by myself I can get and maintain and rock hard erection and get it on command, whether with my imagination or with porn...

But I started dating this girl a couple weeks ago, super cool personality, love being around her, find her super attractive and fun etc, it’s all there.. I thought the issue stemmed from some joking around we did days prior to first having sex, she joked about me getting nervous and not being able to perform..

So the first time comes and I start thinking about it, I LOVE pleasing a woman and it’s actually what turns me on the most (for the other person to get off) so I do the whole kissing and foreplay, go down on her etc, first time she has an orgasm from a guy going down on her, I’m feeling great, we get to it and in the middle of it I start losing my erection, I’m still kinda in my head about the jokes and also she was very vocal/borderline trying to have a conversation during sex.. I stop, we kinda talked about the awkwardness and after a little while we get back to it and I’m able to get off...

2nd time comes around and similar situation, I’m in my head about the awkwardness of the first time and can barely get hard, I manage to do so and again things get kinda awkward, she wants me to be more vocal, but it’s just not my thing to be talking dirty the entire time, I’m more of a go with the passion/intensity/ecstasy of the moment with a sprinkle of talk here and there, so we had stopped because I full blown couldn’t keep my erection and explained that to her (she felt insecure because I wasn’t vocal and she thought that I wasn’t enjoying myself/her sex) after reassuring her we got back to it and it was successful for both of us..

3rd time comes around, now I’m really nervous and in my head about even making a move, the first 2 times were awkward and I felt bad about losing my erections in the middle of sex.. I go to the bathroom and I take 1/2 of a 5mg Cialis (2.5mg) which I know isn’t a lot but it’s helped me in the past (I feel too much cialis makes erections too hard for too long and makes it almost IMPOSSIBLE to cum lol)... Anyway, it did NOTHING.. We started kissing etc and my dick didn’t even move, I started going down on her and when she orgasmed I was able to get hard, I start having sex and about 2 minutes in I start losing my erection again, I just couldn’t... She felt so bad, thought it was her and started crying (tearing up is more like it, she wasn’t sobbing) and I just reassured her and told her it was me that I was nervous and intimidated etc... After a while, we got into it again and I was able to hold the erection with minor bouts of it going slightly weaker and then I’d somehow get it to get harder again and was able to finish..

So now, I’m super paranoid, we like each other a lot and I am attracted to her but I don’t know what’s going on or how to fix this..

I don’t want to make a habit about using Cialis because the moment I don’t have any I feel like it won’t be the same...

Does anyone have any experience with this and what I can do??

I always make sure to eat and be hydrated too, so I know it wasn’t those things... Any help is appreciated... She’s coming over tonight!!! Lol
 

danieltx

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2.5mg Cialis is nothing, that's less than what guys take as a daily blood pressure aid. I'm not surprised it didn't do anything. Medications have dosing guidelines for a reason, follow them.

I realize you don't think it's hormonal, but this board is filled with guys who have noticed they react to compounds differently over time. I know you've been on TRT for a few years so maybe that's the case and maybe you do need some measure of AI. When my estrogen get too high, erections are difficult - I can get them, but they're not to full strength and I have a hard time maintaining them through sex.

Then there's the psychological aspect. You're obviously very concerned about this and can no longer lose yourself in the moment of sex, which definitely isn't helping. It's a self-perpetuating cycle. Maybe have a few shots or whatever you prefer to lower inhibitions just to keep it out of your mind so you can really be present with her.
 

aphextwin

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My question is how do know you don't need an AI or Serm? Are you guessing or do you have legit blood work showing everything is okay? How is she feeling now? I know that when I've had to much to drink and have sex that sometimes I can't cum forever. It's been something that has bothered them. No issues getting it up and staying rock hard.
 

USMuscle9403

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I think you subconsciously had some anxiety, either self induced or possibly what she joked about the day before. However, I've noticed that if I'm really into a girl, it can actually take a time or two before I'm at my best because there's just something in the back of my head telling me that I need to be focused on her so much that it can take away from me getting mine
 

Matsuo Munefusa

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You say you like going down on her and that it even makes you hard. I suggest you tell her that (she’ll be flattered that you’re turned on by it) and next time you’re going down on her ask her if she’s down to 69. Maybe you just need an epic 69 to bond with her and get over your mindfuck.
 

pickapeck

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Jezz you know, I hate to say this but it's part of the game. There will be bouts of this even long bouts. Then there will be times where you are a superstar. It's not that often that there is a simple reason or simple answer. E to high, E to low can be it but not the only reason. You have to take advantage of all the tools and not get hooked on them, which is easier said than done. Caber, Cialis and Viagra are pretty key.
 

NEMSZ

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2.5mg Cialis is nothing, that's less than what guys take as a daily blood pressure aid. I'm not surprised it didn't do anything. Medications have dosing guidelines for a reason, follow them.

I realize you don't think it's hormonal, but this board is filled with guys who have noticed they react to compounds differently over time. I know you've been on TRT for a few years so maybe that's the case and maybe you do need some measure of AI. When my estrogen get too high, erections are difficult - I can get them, but they're not to full strength and I have a hard time maintaining them through sex.

Then there's the psychological aspect. You're obviously very concerned about this and can no longer lose yourself in the moment of sex, which definitely isn't helping. It's a self-perpetuating cycle. Maybe have a few shots or whatever you prefer to lower inhibitions just to keep it out of your mind so you can really be present with her.

I’m just worried about any possible side effects of the Cialis and also relying on it too much.. I’ve used that amount in the past and it worked fine but I might just take a whole 5mg tonight to not worry about it..

And I guess you’re right about the TRT effects, I would have to get bloods done to see exactly what’s going on, what I do find odd is that this past week I actually had some MILD nipple sensitivity and it kinda went away, but never felt that on 200mg before.. I know it’s not a sure fire way to know exactly but it’s something...
 

NEMSZ

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My question is how do know you don't need an AI or Serm? Are you guessing or do you have legit blood work showing everything is okay? How is she feeling now? I know that when I've had to much to drink and have sex that sometimes I can't cum forever. It's been something that has bothered them. No issues getting it up and staying rock hard.

I don’t know 100% as I haven’t gotten blood work, just going by how I’ve always felt.. And she’s doing fine now, we were able to solve it and continue on the last time (was actually last night) and we both were satisfied but she’s coming over tonight and don’t want this shit to keep happening.. So I might take a Cialis for tonight just to not think about it but I’d like this shit to never happen to me again.. lol
 

NEMSZ

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I think you subconsciously had some anxiety, either self induced or possibly what she joked about the day before. However, I've noticed that if I'm really into a girl, it can actually take a time or two before I'm at my best because there's just something in the back of my head telling me that I need to be focused on her so much that it can take away from me getting mine

Yea I’ve experienced the same thing mildly in the past, but never 3x in a row and to the point my erection is completely gone no matter what, shit has me paranoid now..
 

NEMSZ

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You say you like going down on her and that it even makes you hard. I suggest you tell her that (she’ll be flattered that you’re turned on by it) and next time you’re going down on her ask her if she’s down to 69. Maybe you just need an epic 69 to bond with her and get over your mindfuck.

I have told her and she is flattered, and she’s offered to give me head etc but honestly head doesn’t really turn me on that much lol I enjoy it of course but just laying there getting a blow job is hardly my thing to get me off or extremely horny..
 

NEMSZ

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Get in there and treat her like a whore. Always works for me. Pills or not
Is she a stripper?
No she’s not bro lol

But I definitely see what you’re saying, and it kinda works at times.. I’m a nasty fuck and she’s actually kinda reserved but that’s actually what helped me twice already out of the 3x when it happened, was just grabbing her by the neck and making out then turning her around and shoving my tongue in her ass and some doggy, choking, hair pulling, face squishing, degrading sex and I was able to maintain it pretty well...

The thought has crossed my mind that maybe I’m desensitized (if that’s even a thing) as I do enjoy the most nasty shit and have tons of experience like that...
 

cage99

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It’s totally all in your head! Obviously once you relax and talk things through with ya girl everything works as it should. I’ve been there many times. My anxiety does this to me whenever I’m with any one new. I had an older guy give me a nugget of wisdom which was; “get your big head right and the lil head will follow”. Easier said then done, but talking to her abt things will help!

Also, what’s wrong with priming up on some dick hardeners! I take em offen. I enjoy the extra rock hardness they give me. And my woman comments that it feels as if she has a lead pipe inside her. All that just makes it worth it!

I’m a dirty talking fucker in the bed. I love talking trash to my girl. I’m slowly getting her to do the same. Obviously that’s not your thing, but if you dig this chick then why not do some shit talking! She likes it and also gets off on it. Sounds like she’ll also like being degraded as well. Like someone else posted shoving your dick in her mouth. Or hop up on her chest with you dick in her face and start jerking off. You’d be sooooo surprised how many girls that said they didn’t find cum in their face appealing, but the moment you’re on top of their chest with your dick inches from their face they get so wet and turned on! Trust me!!!! Do this and she’ll fuckin go wild!

Cage
 

DarrenG29

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It’s all in your head from your post you haven’t had much sex or this wouldn’t happen how do I know this happened to me from not having lots of sex overthinking and to much wanking that then gave loss of sensitivity and when having sex due to the sensitivity loss it wasn’t that great your penis gets used to your hand and not a vagina so you need to allow it to return to normal so it can feel how it should inside a vagina and not in your hand

the term is called death grip which you’ve got

fast forward no wanking for weeks
no thinking
totally turned on

No issues^ what so ever death grip gone sensitivity unbelievable

but edit I’m also dirty I love nasty dirty talk from the girl talking dislike boring vanilla but also want a good women hard to choose both good women turn her bad only for me yessss 😛
 

NEMSZ

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It’s totally all in your head! Obviously once you relax and talk things through with ya girl everything works as it should. I’ve been there many times. My anxiety does this to me whenever I’m with any one new. I had an older guy give me a nugget of wisdom which was; “get your big head right and the lil head will follow”. Easier said then done, but talking to her abt things will help!

Also, what’s wrong with priming up on some dick hardeners! I take em offen. I enjoy the extra rock hardness they give me. And my woman comments that it feels as if she has a lead pipe inside her. All that just makes it worth it!

I’m a dirty talking fucker in the bed. I love talking trash to my girl. I’m slowly getting her to do the same. Obviously that’s not your thing, but if you dig this chick then why not do some shit talking! She likes it and also gets off on it. Sounds like she’ll also like being degraded as well. Like someone else posted shoving your dick in her mouth. Or hop up on her chest with you dick in her face and start jerking off. You’d be sooooo surprised how many girls that said they didn’t find cum in their face appealing, but the moment you’re on top of their chest with your dick inches from their face they get so wet and turned on! Trust me!!!! Do this and she’ll fuckin go wild!

Cage

I get where you’re coming from;

As to the dick hardeners, I guess because I don’t want to use them so much I’m reliant on them, but I might have to for a bit to get my confidence back, this has never really happened to me before...

And as for the shit talking, I guess I can get into it, i used to have A LOT of sex with many different women when I was partying a lot and doing lots of drugs and there was definitely some shit talking but it seemed to have come naturally when you’re in the moment with some raging coke whores lmao but while sober with a woman who digs it but she herself is a bit reserved is a bit harder to do.. But I definitely want to if that’s what pleases her..
 

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