Ok, here's a f_cked up situation for ya....

[terryd5150]

For a long time I have wrestled with emotions that I find harder and harder to control.

My best friend and I go back about three years. They've always been there through good times and bad.

The past three years have been an emotional nightmare for me, and when I stop and think back on the BEST times I had, well my best friend was in the middle.


Before I go any further I feel obliged to tell all you SICKOS out there that my best friend is a WOMAN.

No problem, you guys might say....BUT....she is a lesbian.

Just to clue you all in, a lesbian is not some chick that is so horny that she decides to have sex with other women until a "real man" comes along, lesbians just don't want to be/can't be emotionally attached to a man.

I can't change that FACT about her....BUT we spend A LOT of time drunk together (always have) and during those times she has said some of the most romantic things to me that anyone has EVER said ( ROMANTIC guys, not PERVERTED).

Sometimes when we are drunk (not long ago) she started kissing me (and OMG, I don't know if all lesbians can kiss that way but it was the BEST EVER!) and the other night when we were at a party (with her girlfriend) she started telling me how hot I was at the pool that day in my shorts. I just played it off, it's all I could do.

She is at the beach right now and has made big plans for me to join her. It will crimp me financially right now to go, but I'm going anyway. I miss having her around too bad, I can't wait until she gets home to see her.

She called me today and told me she missed me so much and how she felt like I was the only person in her life that cared about her. I didn't know what to say, but to tell her that I hate hanging out around here without her ( we are newly roomates) and I couldn't wait to see her.

I just don't know how to handle the situation, I don't want to run her out of my life. Having her around has been WAY better than any anti-depressant I've ever tried. She keeps me positive and gives me hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Guys, I miss her so badly...and I don't know what to do? We are (for the most part) just friends, but with her out of town I feel so lost.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SOLID ADVICE???

 

[pdogg7]

lesbians just don't want to be/can't be emotionally attached to a man.

I wouldn't necessarily agree with this. I think sexual orientation is not a one or the other question. It's one of those things that has degrees to it. Meaning you have one end of the scale is total heterosexual and then varying degrees from their. This is probably applies even more to women since they are generally more mental when it comes to sex. It seems that the two of you have a connection and that maybe more important then what sex you are.
I would say Waite and see if she continues the behaviour and if she does then talk to her about it. Its probably one of two things. Either she truly does has fillings for you and is attracted to you in some way are she has her own issues and is messing with you.
Best of luck.

 

[Nytol]

I totally agree with Pdogg, best of luck mate.

 

[StudInTraining]

I see a threesome in your future.

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

Sometimes when we are drunk (not long ago) she started kissing me (and OMG, I don't know if all lesbians can kiss that way but it was the BEST EVER!) and the other night when we were at a party (with her girlfriend) she started telling me how hot I was at the pool that day in my shorts. I just played it off, it's all I could do.

This is gonna turn bad quickly. She's gay and your straight. And yet you wanna make this work? Terry your gonna wind up screwed up in the head like so many other guys. Let it go. Just know that you had your little pillow talk. You had your little kissing. And you still have a best friend. However if you keep the feelings up or push any harder the issue of you two being a item then you will loose something much moore valuable, "your friendship". Let it go and go backto being friends!

 

[BALDNAZI]

whoaaaa

I wanna tell you that this looks likes it is going to lead up to some monumental sex. Just a gut feeling on this, but you have been friends for a long time and there is obvious feelings and attraction, the type that has been building up for a long time, the type that will leave both of you breathless.

But, this could go all wrong quickly. Share a night of passion, totally fall for each other and 3 things can happen..you end up with her forever total love story, you end up having ridiculous sex but remain friends, or the sex and love are there you guys build a relationship, but her true inner feelings for women manifest themselves down the road and you guys have a terrible breakup which of course ruins the friendship.

I would hate to be in this position, sounds like you have fallen for this girl hard brother. You have choices to make. Either go for broke knowing the risks involved or have a heart to heart with her and keep it as friends.

Knowing myself if there is a chance at having totaly sick sex with her, I would go for it, only because one of the best friends I ever had in my life was a girl that I slept with often but there was no relationship. We kept as friends with benefits and it went on for years until we both got into relationships. As deep as the love was, we just had the idea that we were not meant for each other besides friendship/sex and it worked. I dont know brother, you live only once and you must weigh what is important to YOU. Have a talk with her, let her know, and ask the right questions from her.

But right now, I would just let nature take its course. See how that goes, and then have the talk. You might as well, you could be passing up some memories for all time, just let things happen bro, just know going in there is a good chance you will not get exactly what you want..........

 

[OuchThatHurts]

WARNING: This relationship may be hazardous to your health.

All I can say is be careful. Especially with someone you already cherish so much. She's not a lesbian for nothing. Homosexuals have straight flings once in a while just like straight people have a lesbian or gay flings. But that's all it is - a fling.

One thing is for certain though and that is your friendship will not be the same after. It may still exist, but it will be different. Plus if your friend ever wants to find a long-term relationship, the girl she finds may very well not be comfortable with her friendship with you if she knows you did the hokey pokey with her girlfriend = friendship over.

 

[aquaholic]

Dude, she's NOT a lesbian.

LOL.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Dude, she's NOT a lesbian.

LOL.

Okay, who's going to be the one to break it to her?

 

[aquaholic]

Okay, who's going to be the one to break it to her?

'Lesbian' sounds so much cooler than 'heterosexual'

 

[OuchThatHurts]

'Lesbian' sounds so much cooler than 'heterosexual'

Ohhh... okay... I'm there now. Just a little slow today.

 

[oldfella]

Terry, Long story short here but years ago I had the oppurtunity to roll in the hay with a girl I greww up with. We were just as you described "Best Friends". She was a doll but an incredible person and "friend" to me. I was in a way like the big brother she never had. She was not a lesbian. But we went out together a lot and one night things got hot! We did exactly what you described, the passionate, OH so passionate kissing and cuddling. We were just about to get nasty with each other when we both at the same time stopped, looked deep into each others eyes and asked the question that probably needed to be asked then and there. Where will this take us?? And what if it all went bad? What happens to us after? We both decided to put the brakes on and keep it totally friends forever. I can say it was the best decision I have ever made. what a girl, but we dared not risk 17 yrs of a relationship that probably only comes around once in your life! Think about Terry. You'll know what to do.

 

[nosmas]

I wanna tell you that this looks likes it is going to lead up to some monumental sex.

Now how did I know you would come up with this idea BN! LOL! Good to hear from you BN.

Best point so far is OUCH in his saying that any long term relationship she finds with someone will NOT be cool with your friendship!

This one ends poorly I am thinking. I feel for ya man! Good luck!

 

[terryd5150]

Thanks for all the replys....

BN, you sure as hell made me laugh!


I have decided not to do anything to ruin our friendship. I honestly would rather be the friends we are and still have the FUN she brings into my world (yea, fun-not sex) than try to be anything else.

She is WAY more fun to hang out with than any of my other "friends" and I'd hate to have to hang out with those pricks all the time!


Thanks to all.


Terry

 

[JustWannaBeHuge]

dangerous territory. hope you stay on the correct path dude!

 

[muscledoc1]

JERRY!! JERRY!!! JERRY!!!

 

[thebrick]

BN, you sure as hell made me laugh!


I have decided not to do anything to ruin our friendship. I honestly would rather be the friends we are and still have the FUN she brings into my world (yea, fun-not sex) than try to be anything else.

She is WAY more fun to hang out with than any of my other "friends" and I'd hate to have to hang out with those pricks all the time!


Thanks to all.


Terry

smart man you are! News flash.... not EVERYTHING in this world is about sex.

 

[JustWannaBeHuge]

smart man you are! News flash.... not EVERYTHING in this world is about sex.

shit, if only i could get that through my head, I might be okay lol.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

shit, if only i could get that through my head, I might be okay lol.

I'll second that emotion!

 

[maxsupplements]

shit, if only i could get that through my head, I might be okay lol.

lol... ME TOO......

but i am wearing a chasity belt over here now. lol... so no sex..