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some of you.....

balplayer

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Jun 12, 2002
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may have already gone through this but i thought id share this with you.

tonight i had dinner with a good friend of mine and her husband. i have trained this woman for months and i brought her a win in her fitness comp a month ago or so. anyway, we were talking about fistness goals and he all of the sudden spouts off and says he could do bodybuilding like myself but he works outside in the heat and it would be impossible to do so for him. i laughed inside as i know this is untrue as members on this very board do this very thing and they make it possible, so this guy makes it a personal ussue with me, god knows why and proclaims that im fake and im synthetik, (sp) and my shape is all cause of drugs. well this sort of hurt in a way comming from a person who ive known for a long time and ive helped his wife out immensely. i know i should not care but i wanted to share this with you as i have grown so much since ive been in bodybuilding and i welcome anyone to walk in our shoes drugs or not. i had to vent this out and i hope you guys have somethjing to interject and maybe to learn as well. thanks.
 

Ivan

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All I can say is

Isn't jealousy a bitch?
 

Crowler

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It does suck you helped and then to be treated like this.

Anger many times comes from feeling threatened. I would imagine you have been spending time and/or phone calls with his wife. She is looking in REALLY good shape. His body has not changed for the better and you look like a bodybuilder.

Not right but maybe if you understand where he is coming from you can understand he is mad at himself NOT you even though he takes it out on you.
 

crackerjack414

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people say screwed up things all the time, it used to bother me when people made dumb ass comments to me like iam gonna kill myself lifting so heavy and i dont have to lift heavy to get big. the point is dont let the small things get to u the guy is probely jelous that u spend so much good time with his wife while he gets all the fun stuff like fighting and arguements.
 

xcelbeyond

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HERE'S A FACT OF LIFE - "Excuses" are like assholes - everyone's got one! This guy's nothing but a jealous asshole - eer I mean Excuse :D

xcel
 

balplayer

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thanks guys, this helpsme realize that once you achive things shit comes at you in all forms and i need to just forget about it
 

Queefer

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Here's a shitty comment for ya. I used to be a drug addict (3 years) and before that I drank alot (10 years). I gave that stuff up a little over a year ago and now I'm a different person inside and out. My face was white as a ghost and I had bags under my eyes like an 80 year old woman. Anyway; my mom used to tell me how aweful and tired I looked, I was wasting away, and that the drugs were going to kill me. Since the change, she has never made a comment about me looking any healthier, and even told my wife, "He must be using steroids." It's not jealousy like your situation, but it still hurts the same.
 

homonunculus

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I agree

He's likely jealous and somewhat put out of sorts b/c you've got a type of "physical" relationship with his wife that he is incapable of. He doesn't have your knowledge or your physique and may feel like this makes him less of a man in his wife's eyes.

If you value his friendship, I would put an offer on the table. Offer to get him ready for a contest and show him that what he says is impossible is not. You could also put together a list of guys who works tough job and still make it work. Ronnie C., working in the heat of TX, comes to mind.

If he refuses the offer, don't make a big deal about it. His reason will likely be the same - he doesn't have time. (You can easily outline a schedule that would *make* time. I train at 5AM now for this reason.) It will point out that we all have our priorities and choices in life, none being better than the other. He has found a job that requires manual labor outside. If he *really* wanted to bobybuild, he would find a way now, or he would have found a way years ago to create a life that allows him to bodybuild. If he *really* wanted to make it happen, it would, no if's and's or but's about it.

And old friend was a runner who once said that if he would give up his entire career if it meant he couldn't run. He'd just find something else. His personal endeavor was what defined him, not his career. (FYI, he had spent 4 yr in college, plus another 6 just to get the training for his job. His career did not come easy either.)

-Randy
 

Ry Roid

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It always amazes me...

...the stupidity that comes out of people's mouths.


1. Everybody knows someone that is "Your Size" but, a little bigger.LOL

2. Everybody could be a pro if they took gear.

3. Everybody used to be your size but, they don't like that look.

I have let comments feed into my body dysmorphia for a loooong time but, you can't let jealousy bother you. They wouldn't say anything if they weren't generally jealous of you.

RY
 

xcelbeyond

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Re: I agree

homonunculus said:
If you value his friendship, I would put an offer on the table. Offer to get him ready for a contest and show him that what he says is impossible is not. You could also put together a list of guys who works tough job and still make it work. Ronnie C., working in the heat of TX, comes to mind.
Only problem with this is if he really "doesn't" intend to do it (which he probably isn't otherwise he'd "ask" for help) - not being able to do it will only validate his EXCUSE. You can't "tell" anyone anything. When they're ready to listen, they'll ask!
Originally posted by Ry Roid
3. Everybody used to be your size but, they don't like that look.
You don't know HOW MANY TIMES I hear this! I used to look "just like you" but don't have the time to commit to it anymore.

xcel
 

Mr_Magoo

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Re: It always amazes me...

Ry Roid said:
...the stupidity that comes out of people's mouths.


1. Everybody knows someone that is "Your Size" but, a little bigger.LOL

2. Everybody could be a pro if they took gear.

3. Everybody used to be your size but, they don't like that look.

I have let comments feed into my body dysmorphia for a loooong time but, you can't let jealousy bother you. They wouldn't say anything if they weren't generally jealous of you.

RY
very true, im always amazed at the amount of people other people know who are bigger then me, stronger then me, and what not. do these people know the top olympia contenders personally or something?

and the drug issue, we all know it aint true because there are certain structures that are built to hold mass better then others. anyways i'e learned a long time ago to take these comments witha grain of salt.

but i will agree there are times i just get ready to explode and do, but then it's roid rage right? no its just me being so fuckin angry regardless of what androgens are in me
 

BigBoyJ

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All these guys are right BalPlayer. It's just jealousy. I would have used a different approach to handling it though than most of the other guys. Since he went out of his way to make you look bad in front of his wife, I would have made sure he looked like a little bitch in front of her. I would have, at the very least told him not to be angry at me because he lacks discipline and looks like a 12 year old girl. If he wanted to escalate it from there, I would have gladly kicked his ass. Now say what you want about violence or that I'm a no class individual, but no ones ever fucked with me more than once. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some maniac who fights everyone that looks at me wrong, but if I'm disrespected I'll do what it takes to straighten things out.;)
 

balplayer

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to everyone that posted.

you are all right. i didnt even say anthing to dismay this persons comments. i didnt feel that i have to defend myself because i wake up everyday and see my body, and he has to wake up and see his, i think thats punishment enough right there. thing is i have to see this person in the gym i train at cause we train at the same hours. i wont say a word and i wont go violent. i am muscular and some may think i can kick some ass but mentally its not in me to act like that as i kick asses onstage. so what ill do as homonucleus said is offer the chance for him to out up or shut up which i think is a great idea. cause when he acted that way towards me and said what he said i basically remained humble and calm. i guess i didnt even care to say anything which just says it all right there.
 

slide

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Re: It always amazes me...

Ry Roid said:
...the stupidity that comes out of people's mouths.


1. Everybody knows someone that is "Your Size" but, a little bigger.LOL

2. Everybody could be a pro if they took gear.

3. Everybody used to be your size but, they don't like that look.

I have let comments feed into my body dysmorphia for a loooong time but, you can't let jealousy bother you. They wouldn't say anything if they weren't generally jealous of you.

RY
1-3 is so true. Maybe all these people are talking about the same person(s)? :eek: :D

-slide
 

BigMeaty

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Hey Balplayer, look at it this way, if you didnt look so good, he wouldnt have said ANYTHING at all. When was the last time you heard anyone make a comment about some dude who weighs 165 pounds?

l couldnt have handled the situation as calmly as you did. I tend to think and act like my friend BigBoyJ, haha. I def gotta tell you I admire your self control.
 

drgoodbody

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Balplayer...

believe in yourself bro, and fuck all the haters.

If BB does nothing else it should at least give a person the self confidence that comes thru discipline and makes a person know they are not just another wannabe.

Stay strong,

DrG
 

MikeS

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Re: It always amazes me...

Ry Roid said:

1. Everybody knows someone that is "Your Size" but, a little bigger.LOL

2. Everybody could be a pro if they took gear.

3. Everybody used to be your size but, they don't like that look.
RY
Oh my god, who here hasnt heard these 3 comment from some jealous asshole, over and over!!! #1 is usually some Mom talking about her son. Why is it we never really see these people (the ones a little bigger than you) in public, ever?!?

Or:
"are you still working out? You dont look as good (or as big/or as cut). "

I am such a laid back person when it comes to violence, but this one guy hadnt seen me in 2yrs. During that time Id put on 35lbs muscle!!! now he had just started lifting so he wanted to make the chump comment above (you dont look as big). I pushed him (it was in a club) and told him Id put on 35lbs and he was full of shit and can take his asshole comments and get lost! The knucklehead took the rest of the night apologizing to me and kissing my ass until I had to tell him several time to shut up and get lost.
 

massmonster32

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Was out the other day with two taller but really overweight individuals. I was told I will need to buff up like my two freinds once my training at a job is over and am on my own. All the while I hide myself really well in clothes xxl and baggies but appropiate looking. Sucks everyone who has five layers of skin thinks they have 20 inch arms and a tire around the waist is big to the general public. MM
 

Armageddon

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This is funny and comes across at a great time. I just went to a local bb show and saw some good shapes and some bad shapes. But within the few months prior to this as of injury I've really come to accept myself and my body. Knowing that I'm fat and out of shape I went into this contest with a very open mind, and just watched. I heard so many reasons on why this happened and why this person didn't do the show and what not. It was great to be a fat fuk and actually beable to distance myself from these people while being there. Not that it makes a matter of my shape, but I didn't have people running around like years before asking questions and what not. Like what supps or gear are you on and what not. There where a few guys that told me about there usage then I asked about there diet and I couldn't believe what they told me. I asked who helped them and after they told me I couldn't believe it. In your case I'd offer help, once and see what happens. Then forget about it from there, it isn't your issue it's his.
 

GetnDiesel

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The Trim Factor

The next time you hear 'I used to be your size but, I don't like that look.' (credit to Ry Roid), just tell em the truth they really fear:


"I don't give a damn what YOU like. Your woman still likes "that look" just fine!" :cool:

GetnDiesel
 

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