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specia-needs child

Dinitro

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Aug 27, 2010
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I know I'm new, but here's our family situation. I have an AWESOME wife, and love my kids. We have one younger child with special needs who requires a lot of medical care. His legs are constantly in braces and casts from surgeries, and he can't run with his big brother and the neighborhood kids. He sits indoors and memorizes maps and charts, and draws. He has a popular personality, but is physically limited. It's taken a HUGE toll on our finances, and we can barely afford his treatment. We're behind on bills.

The other day we were walking though a store together and I asked him how he was doing. He said, "when I hurt a WHOLE lot, it's a bad day. When I hurt a *little* bit of a lot, it's a good day. So today's a good day."

God damn it. YOU try to not cry in the middle of Target when your little boy says that to you.

Does anyone else have a special-needs child?
 

thebrick

FOUNDING Member / Featured member / Kilo Klub
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Jun 18, 2002
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5,049
Well, I don't have a special needs child, but my wife works firsthand with many special needs and very sick children at a hospital with her job. You have my total respect brother.
 

Gunsmith

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Jul 30, 2006
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All children are a great gift no mater what troubles they come with , I think its a way of showing us to be a bit more gratefull for what we have.

I don't have a special needs child but have a very close friend whos son is autistic and it is very taxing on her marriage and their finances also.

I hate more than anything to see children hurting , it drives me nuts especialy when theirs nothing to can do to stop it.

I pulled over a car that was speeding one night to find out that they were rushing a 7yr old boy to the hospital as he was choking on somthing. He had been without oxygen for long enought to lose conciousness and start to turn blue , I was able to get it up for him and gave him CPR saving his life. I found out later that night that he was terminaly ill with bone cancer and it just crushed me.
several weeks later the kids dad tracked me down and asked if I would present his "wish" from the make a wish foundation , at a big party he and I were on a little stage and I asked him in front of everybody what he wanted more than anything , waiting for a responce like Disney world" or somthing he just looked at me and said
I just don't want to hurt anymore! and I totaly fucking lost it I picked him up and hugged him crying like a little girl.

I can't say that "I feel your pain bro" because I can't , their is nothing to compair what your going through and I pray for you and your family.

All I can say is that everything happens for a reason and I think its part of a plan , keep your fair and stay strong for your son
 

Dinitro

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Aug 27, 2010
Messages
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I appreciate the empathy--it really does count.

My best friend is the father of an autistic boy. I didn't really understand autism until I read that Tim Burton's "Edward Scissorhands" is a parable about an autistic family member of his. That made it clearer to me.
 

bmx5656

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Oct 23, 2008
Messages
30
My girlfriend has a brother who is special needs, at birth the cord got wrapped around his neck and caused brain damage. He has to have a nurse 24hrs a day, to live he needs special machines to clear flem, oxygen, all that. Her father was a lawyer and had a suite brought against the doctor. Turns out the doctor knew the cord was wrapped around his neck and knew it would get tighter as he came out, but figured they could get him out before any damage was done. Well that doctor isn't a doctor anymore but without the law suite, they wouldn't be able to afford his needs. Few years back her father took his own life, without any reason. Even with money to keep nurses there and machines, it is still hard and never will get easy for my girlfriend and her mother. Just to see your child or brother like that hurts more than anything.

Your boy has an outlook on life that i wish i had, for him to say something like that, just goes to show how brave and strong he is. With an attitude like that nothing will stop him in life.

As gunsmith said, things do happen for a reason, even though we don't see the reason.
 

UKMainMan

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Jul 19, 2010
Messages
121
I didn't really understand autism until I read that Tim Burton's "Edward Scissorhands" is a parable about an autistic family member of his. That made it clearer to me.
I never knew that, must check it out.
Another good read is "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time"

My son has autism / aspergers syndrome and is still young (5) so i'm always on the lookout for what to expect in the future type of thing.
 

Che

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Registered
Joined
Jul 27, 2006
Messages
69
I have a daughter with special needs - so I feel your pain. There's nothing worse than being helpless as a mother or father. As difficult as it can be, both financially and emotionally, I will say that she has made me a better person and a different father than I would have been otherwise. My daughter can't communicate, but at least I know she's not in pain from her condition - I'm sorry to hear about that aspect regarding your son.

One thing, though, that may be slightly related...one of my best friends growing up had a brittle bone disease to where his legs would break if he tried to walk. He finally got fed up with it and just started using a wheel chair. Even though he was in pain, he was a part of the group - we never seemed to realize that he was "handicapped" because we included him in everything we did. Now he's married with three little kids - he obviously has physical limitations, but I'm impressed at how he's made the best out of such a difficult sitation. Man - this is the most I've typed since I've been on this board the last 4 years!
 

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