The Funny Things They Say...

[HUTCH]

I thought we could make this a running thread of all the funny comments your friends, co-workers or whoever say about bodybuilding or health and fitness in general...So if you get one of these then remember it and post it here.

Here is one from Tonight

"Im eating cottage cheese and chips for dinner, but healthy chips, you know from a health food store"...

Im sure he was talking about trader joes...So they prolly stuck a 0 grams trans fat sticker on it and jacked the price up a couple bucks...

 

[LEX]

Walking into meet with egg whites from a togo resturant, two guys in their late 20's that look preggo

"hey what's that?"
egg whites....
"we brought doghnuts and muffins"
oh I can't eat that ...
"why"
cause then I would look lke you two...

 

[mike1107]

Walking into meet with egg whites from a togo resturant, two guys in their late 20's that look preggo

"hey what's that?"
egg whites....
"we brought doghnuts and muffins"
oh I can't eat that ...
"why"
cause then I would look lke you two...

LMAO !!

 

[blackhole]

awesome

 

[06tundra]

I think it's so hilarious that my fiance and I laugh about it all the time. Everywhere you go people are always like "I used to look like you back in the day" or "If I were to work out I could be as big as you". And the dumbest question of it all is "how much do you bench", my favorite response to that question is I don't know how much but I squat 405 for reps. No one cares what you do with your legs.
Tundra

 

[engbulldog]

I had the girl a girl @ costco she was boxing the the Food for me and as i was paying she says " you workout alot dont ya" my reply just rolled of my tougne " no I just do Billy Banks tae-bowe" she then said "I have a membership to a gym but she is tired of seeing girls with fake boobs walking around " The she tells me working @ costco is a great workout w/all the walking around she does and she is to tired to go to the gym after work, she asked me where i workout? Again "in my basement" which is a true statement but she was shocked cuz i workout @ home!!!!!!!!

 

[BALDNAZI]

Haha

A few years ago a skinny trainer came up to me and critiqued my barbell curl form. The conversation went something like this...

"Hey man, what are you doing back?haha your swinging the weight alot, you would get bigger biceps if you would keep your form good and squeeze the biceps"

With a real pissed off look on my face I say "How big are your arms?"

"Uhhhh, about 16-17 inches"

So I smile and say "My arms are 21 inches (maybe 22 at the time when i was all juiced up, not sure) I think I know what the fuck I am doing" I flexed one at him and he looked nervously and walked away...

Ahhh, good times....

 

[sup]

"I can't eat eggs for breakfast, I need to eat Quaker instant oatmeal packages to soak up the vitamins I take with meals"

 

[HawaiiMuscle]

Women sometimes have the strangest ideas about supplements.

"Will whey protein make me muscular? ...I don't want to be huge."

"I don't take multivitamins, they make me fat..."

 

[betito]

"I can´t eat without bread"

 

[panic66]

douche bag at college gym: yea im doing a natural bodybuilding show, im about -3% bodyfat....

me: hahahaha

 

[Potimus]

I work part time at a local GNC to help out and I got this one yesterday...

Kid walks in and says to me "I weigh 160lbs and I want to get to 230lbs in 4 months. What do I need to take?"

My face was a mixture of

Then I ask him about his diet and he says "I eat a lot of pasta, it helped me get from 120lbs to 160lbs"

I said what about protein and meats?

He says "I eat some here and there"

I told him to leave and go to BBing.com and learn what protein is and what it does and then come back to me.

 

[cpesloco]

most irratating question is

"You been working out" or " do you work out a lot"

I always answer no, fuckn people sometimes.

And if i have one more person come up to me at the gym and ask me how to use a machine I am going to start charging these fuckers...sorry a bit testy today!

 

[blackhole]

man when i used to train at gyms i would hear ALL sorts of dumb crap, this is why i train at home now. i always do squats, deadlifts, and rows barefoot. my feet arent mangled nor do i have warts or some funky fungus. EVERY time some skinny little tainer or salesmen would come up and tell me to put shoes on. i would explain that feet are designed by many thouasands of years of evolution to perfectly balance me, i dont want to put shoes on i need stability. anyways i would ignore them and usually end up saying - if u want me to wear shoes - 'PUT THEM ON ME YOURSELF'. fools. or when i do those same exercises - deadlifts, squats and rows i NEVER wear a belt. i have always been lucky, i have a strong back and never have any lower back problems. so i gotta hear some guy who is doing cable rows come over and tell me 'HEY MAN UR GONNA HURT UR BACK' hmm i am deadlifting 545 for reps and rowing 365 good form for reps. dont ya think i would hurt it by now? maybe go back and play with ur cables dude!!!!

 

[Sassy]

a very common question men ask, "do you want to arm wrestle?"

My answer, "do you want to loose?"

NO! I don't want to flex my bi's for you.

 

[joeshow5]

"If you ever want to get under some 'real' weight, let me know". Says the fat man wearing the muscle-tech tank top who benches 315 for half ass reps while screaming his lungs out.

"Thanks" I reply. "And if you ever want to get into 'real' shape, let me know"

 

[TooPowerful4u]

Without writing a book.......

Why do i always get hit on at shoprite (food store). I went in one time and the cashier comes up to me "your muscles all sexy, now you too young for me that that girl back there thinks you fiiinnee"...i look back the girl has this "oh shit" look on her face and runs in the back room lol......checking out another time...."i guess these egg whites been workin".....

Now stupid comments stupid comments lets see......

Why you want to be so big, when you get older its going to turn into fat.....

You arent eating enough calories every day with all that plain food, its not healthy......

Flex a muscle for me....(i flex my forearm or calf or something stupid lol, or i just start straining and say ok im flexing without actually lifting my shirt haha)

How much do you bench? "for how many reps"? ummm ONE, whats your max? "i dont max its stupid and you could get hurt doing that"... hahahahahah

Are you wearing shoulder pads?

You are a bodybuilder? But arent you supposed to be like super ripped (last summer at the beach when i was OFFSEASON).....

Doesnt it suck to eat all that bland food all the time? NO i love eating this shit day in and day out for months to get down to a super low bodyfat where i feel like garbage.....

I can think of PLENTY more...but il stop or this thread will be 20 pages

 

[CHAPS]

A guy I knew from high school comes up to me the other day and he's maybe 170lbs and he tells me he's on his first cycle of test E and winny then starts in: "man i'm getting jacked, it's just so hard eating all this food" to which i ask how much is he eating, "200g's carbs 200g's protein" . Oh ya i say, trying not to laugh as he tells me his breakfast "I ate like 6 eggs and a couple pieces of bacon, i was STUFFED then i came to the gym and trained like an animal". I just burst out laughing at him.

My favourite, i was working at a truckshop years ago with my brother and we were sitting down for a break and we were drinking weightgainer shakes and we have two alcoholic, chain smoking co-workers look over at us and say "that shit'll kill ya", as they puff away.

And here is some general stupid shit:

"I wanna look extra lean for my vacation in a month so i started cutting my water intake inhalf"

"I deadlift slow and don't touch the floor because i'm a bodybuilder not a powerlifter"

"If i did as much crank as that guy i'd be just as big if not bigger than him"
(personal trainer looking at picture of Jay Cutler)

"deca should be the base for all your cycles, and you should start abusing insulin and gh as soon as possible" -has been juicer giving me advice on how to get huge

Another one from the same guy "why aren't you 300lbs yet? I hit 300lbs in my first year on the drugs, you just need to stop caring and start abusing" wow lol

This guy is now 55, 280lbs, has the aesthetics of a fridge, is a diabetic, impotent, has a torn rotator cuff, and bicep i doesn't want to bother fixing and walk around the gym between his sets randomly approaching young guys that are obviously on gear and saying shit like "your on steroids" lmao I can't make this shit up, the guy is something else.

 

[Matt2105]

"If you ever want to get under some 'real' weight, let me know". Says the fat man wearing the muscle-tech tank top who benches 315 for half ass reps while screaming his lungs out.

"Thanks" I reply. "And if you ever want to get into 'real' shape, let me know"

Round isn't a shape?

 

[oldfella]

Woman walks into my gym to enquire about membership for her daughter...........Conversation proceeds as follows:

Oh I don't want her to lift weights cause she will blow up like her father! I say to woman, you do understsand that that is not possible don't you. Woman replies, well my husband doesn't even have to lift weights and he is huge, if he lifts weights he would get beigger than Arnold Shwhatzisnamer!

I say well good for him, I'm impressed. I have been lifting for most of my life and this is about it.

I then look outside and see husband in the car park, I actually started laughing out loud as she was still at the counter.

Woman asks what are you laughing at? Reluctantly I replied, I just saw your husband!!! Now I would not normally have done this but she was so bloody arrogant and knew more about all this muscle building than I did I just had too.

The husband was about 5' 7" and probably weighed around 200, but with one of the best defined beer guts I have ever seen. And legs, well let's just say non-existant. Noodle arms and a bulldog head!

Needless to say she didn't sign up her daughter!!!