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The Gym is all I have in life.

V-Man

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Aug 22, 2009
Messages
107
Every day in my life I struggle to hang one. I suppose its it may sound pathetic but the gym and training is all that I have in life.

Let me give you some background. I am 48 and take care of my sick mom.

But let's go back further. When I was growing up I was always the guy that was ridiculed and picked on and beaten up. I hated going to shool every day. I never had friends.

I later got cardiomyopathy which is a weakened heart muscle. Then I had a pacemaker and defibrillator put in. I never went to college so I work a job in an office making about $27K a year. I always lived at home.

At this point in time I discovered the gym. It was hard first but as soon as I started putting on muscle my confidence grew. Then my father died and I assumed taking care of my mother and as the year's went by her health declined and now I pretty much do everything for her and the house. My brother skiped out and there is no other family to help me.

I still don't have friends except for my trainer. He became a friend and he doesn't charge me much to train cause he knows I don't have much money. I don't have any significant relationships, go to dinner or movies, I never take vacations.

I get up leave the house and go to the gym, then I go to work and then I go right home. On weekends I run errands, grocery shop, cook, clean the house and do laundry. At night I spend all my time on bodybuilding web sites and forums.

I am depressed a lot cause I see other people so happy but I deal with it. I want to die but I won't take my life on account of my mother. But I do know when I do die I will go straight to heaven for I have done my suffering here on earth and have earned my place in paradise. I am religious and I do go to Church.

As my training progressed I got interested in bodybuilding and always wanted to compete. The reason I want to compete is to inspire other people who have medical problems to get in shape. That dream will not come true now.

In November my cervical spine acted up again and my left arm is weak. It will always be that way now. To correct it would require surgery and I can't do it cause I can't be laid up.

It's been a devastating time for me. Why would God take the only thing I have away from me. Can't he see all the good that I do for my mom. Why must he always make me suffer. I know your gonna say God only gives you what you can handle but I am tired.

I've given it a lot of thought and I decided not to give up the gym and will continue to push on and work out. It's all that I have to hold on to. I can still train legs and back. I can do shoulders but no pressing. Bicep training is fine. But tri's and chest I will be using the baby weights. My tri's and chest will probably shrink.

I know a lot of you are going to say I need to get a life and get out more. Believe me my trainer has tried that. He always wants me to hang onto hope, that this is only temporary. But I've been doing it for 12 years now.

I also have a jealousy problem with my trainer. Believe me he's a great guy and would do anything for me, he even offered me an apartment. But he is good looking and has a great physique and awesome girlfriend. Great job and owns his own gym. It hurts cause I want what he has. I know it's wrong to think like that but I am only human.

I probably should be on depression medication but I can't talk to a doctor about this. When people see me they see the happy me they would never believe all this.

Is it wrong to only have the gym in my life. I don't even know why I wrote this other then it feels good to get it off my chest. No one needs to respond to me I just needed to vent.

But if you can say a prayer that freedom and happiness finds me soon.
 

tenny

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Aug 26, 2003
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let me know when your ready to compete

i'll help you for free

:)
 

Anarky

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Jul 5, 2010
Messages
131
bro, im 34 i have a great job 3 kids and a soon to be ex wife. going through a hell of a bitter divorce i cant fix. i may be border line depressed but you have 2 arms 2 legs and are able to get up every day and work out. could be alot worse. ill pray for you as im saying prayers for my family. i hope you continue to find strenght!
 

triathloncoach

Featured Member / Kilo Klub / Board Supporter
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4,425
Get therapy

Your problems appear to be mostly self inflicted. Many have it a lot worse than you. With some help you can get yourself on a better course. Find a good hearted woman to befriend. She doesn't have to be a beauty queen. Stop wallowing in self pity. I think if you clear your head you will see a path to a better life.

Best wishes.
 

Vitruvian_Man

Banned
Joined
Dec 4, 2010
Messages
142
Bro - I deal with families everyday who make your life look like the
"American dream."

Think about things in an optimistic way. Thank God man that you aren't an immigrant working 100+ hours a week @ wages like f***ing $5.10 an hour.

I deal with single parent (mother) families living on honestly $9800 A YEAR, with 4 young children, who commute 4-6 hours per day to/from work, and live in a 1-bedroom decrepit apartments with ALL their children in the SAME bed. These women work more in a year in terms of hrs/wk then most North American's will in 2-3 years. These women sleep maybe 2hrs a night, and are basically ghosts amongst society.

Thank the Lord that you have been blessed with life

-VM
 
Last edited:

shortyshort

New member
Registered
Joined
Aug 11, 2010
Messages
167
when i was at the lowest point of my life, it sucked... but after that time passed, i realized that was the best stress free life i ever had! i was in sucha deepshit, it could only gotten better, and it did, and it will for u.
and im on vacation rightnow, and i see many homeless ppl here... but all these homeless are happy as hell!!! nothing but smiles! why? because they know it can only get better!
hang in there, brother!
 

cachexic

Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 21, 2009
Messages
909
Your problems appear to be mostly self inflicted.
This.

Considering it has been this long, it's not looking like you will be able to dig yourself out of this hole on your own. Your negative patterns of thought are too ingrained. They have hardened in your mind over all of these years and now it's like a huge block of cement. You need to take a jackhammer to it.

You need therapy. You need help. You must break this pattern.
 

PHIL HERNON

Banned
Joined
Jun 6, 2002
Messages
14,932
Let me say this

Every day in my life I struggle to hang one. I suppose its it may sound pathetic but the gym and training is all that I have in life.

Let me give you some background. I am 48 and take care of my sick mom.

But let's go back further. When I was growing up I was always the guy that was ridiculed and picked on and beaten up. I hated going to shool every day. I never had friends.

I later got cardiomyopathy which is a weakened heart muscle. Then I had a pacemaker and defibrillator put in. I never went to college so I work a job in an office making about $27K a year. I always lived at home.

At this point in time I discovered the gym. It was hard first but as soon as I started putting on muscle my confidence grew. Then my father died and I assumed taking care of my mother and as the year's went by her health declined and now I pretty much do everything for her and the house. My brother skiped out and there is no other family to help me.

I still don't have friends except for my trainer. He became a friend and he doesn't charge me much to train cause he knows I don't have much money. I don't have any significant relationships, go to dinner or movies, I never take vacations.

I get up leave the house and go to the gym, then I go to work and then I go right home. On weekends I run errands, grocery shop, cook, clean the house and do laundry. At night I spend all my time on bodybuilding web sites and forums.

I am depressed a lot cause I see other people so happy but I deal with it. I want to die but I won't take my life on account of my mother. But I do know when I do die I will go straight to heaven for I have done my suffering here on earth and have earned my place in paradise. I am religious and I do go to Church.

As my training progressed I got interested in bodybuilding and always wanted to compete. The reason I want to compete is to inspire other people who have medical problems to get in shape. That dream will not come true now.

In November my cervical spine acted up again and my left arm is weak. It will always be that way now. To correct it would require surgery and I can't do it cause I can't be laid up.

It's been a devastating time for me. Why would God take the only thing I have away from me. Can't he see all the good that I do for my mom. Why must he always make me suffer. I know your gonna say God only gives you what you can handle but I am tired.

I've given it a lot of thought and I decided not to give up the gym and will continue to push on and work out. It's all that I have to hold on to. I can still train legs and back. I can do shoulders but no pressing. Bicep training is fine. But tri's and chest I will be using the baby weights. My tri's and chest will probably shrink.

I know a lot of you are going to say I need to get a life and get out more. Believe me my trainer has tried that. He always wants me to hang onto hope, that this is only temporary. But I've been doing it for 12 years now.

I also have a jealousy problem with my trainer. Believe me he's a great guy and would do anything for me, he even offered me an apartment. But he is good looking and has a great physique and awesome girlfriend. Great job and owns his own gym. It hurts cause I want what he has. I know it's wrong to think like that but I am only human.

I probably should be on depression medication but I can't talk to a doctor about this. When people see me they see the happy me they would never believe all this.

Is it wrong to only have the gym in my life. I don't even know why I wrote this other then it feels good to get it off my chest. No one needs to respond to me I just needed to vent.

But if you can say a prayer that freedom and happiness finds me soon.
Start helping others......now.....not just mom.... You cannot dwell on your perceived faults....your soul needs to be healthy and its not.......its full of jealousy and material/surface nonsense...........go find someone else worse off and offer your help, your time, your patience, your energy............your love........you need to love and take care of your mom, but find/seek others also........
 

Amazon Doll

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
Featured Member
Kilo Klub Member
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
1,712
Your problems appear to be mostly self inflicted.
This.

Considering it has been this long, it's not looking like you will be able to dig yourself out of this hole on your own. Your negative patterns of thought are too ingrained. They have hardened in your mind over all of these years and now it's like a huge block of cement. You need to take a jackhammer to it.

You need therapy. You need help. You must break this pattern.
It will take a few years of therapy to overcome the way you think and the way you view the world.
 

stepintoliquid

New member
Registered
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
59
get yourself into therapy bro. will help you overcome the obstacles you perceive in your way.

keep in the gym. dont be afraid to pick up other hobbies.... life has too much to offer to only pick one.
 

JUICEDUP3

Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 25, 2007
Messages
616
stay strong.. keep hitting the gym and helping others! it will pay off in the long run.. everybody gets depressed and feels like giving up sometimes but thats when its time to try and give harder!!
 

lennoxchi

New member
Registered
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
193
i don't think you need a life, you need a goal.

pick one thing you want, make it specific and map out a plan to obtain that goal then move onto the next thing. you have put too much on your plate, start with one thing at a time and give it 100%, if you fall short, try again and again until you get it.
 

jay_dub

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
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Registered
Joined
Nov 26, 2007
Messages
2,267
Hey VMan,

This statement struck me hard,

Why would God take the only thing I have away from me.

I just read all about this EXACT issue in a book by Timothy Keller called Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters.

There is a little movie trailer for it here on amazon, check it out: Amazon.com: Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters (9780525951360): Timothy Keller: Books

Bodybuilding and Christianity are a hard two things to mix. And the only reason why is because as bodybuilders, we begin to obsess and addict ourselves to making our bodies as perfect as possible. This takes our attention away from God. WHen this happens, God tries to get our attention back to him. And I truly believe that is what is going on with you. This book will help you recognize these types of things.

It will also show you how to have a healthy relationship with God (which will bring you happiness) and balance this with the other things in life that you enjoy.

The book is brilliant. If you can't afford it (i know you mentioned you dont have much money right now) I will personally send you my copy... I would be extremely happy to help you out.

Let me know man. I'll be praying for you.
 

kirill

New member
Newbies
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
41
Try to extract happiness from simple things of life !

I think too you should make a therapy, it really helps, there is no shame about this !
 

wasp

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Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
1,172
i saw a great post the other day, i don't know who it was but i'm sure they wont mind me repeating it...................i too have no friends, just left my ex of 18 yrs, no kids, just work and the gym right now, but all i can say is


"you're going to be dead a long time, do you really wana rush into it?"
 

tenny

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Joined
Aug 26, 2003
Messages
7,434
ignore the bullshit Vito

stay on course

:)
 

V-Man

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Aug 22, 2009
Messages
107
I know this site has a lot of good people. Unfortunately one bad apple spoils the bunch.

This thread will be deleted.

Thanks to all of you who responded, I've made several good friends from it this past week so mission accomplished.

Thanks again.
 

supertrucker212

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Registered
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
150
Not to sound negative, but nothing changes if nothing changes. Only YOU can change your life. Jealousy is a poison and it sounds like you're drinking it up. TRUE HAPPINESS COMES FROM WITHIN! I'm sure it's not easy taking care of your ailing mother and having an injury, but I have seen people worse off. I know people that have had to bury a child. Go to one of those funerals once. I live in a town that lost 21 high school students on TWA flight 800. For about two weeks after that I saw grieving at its highest level. At the time I lived two doors up from a funeral home. I know for a fact that there are parents who's lives have NEVER been the same since. I know of one couple that even had to move because of it. This same couple, prior to moving, couldn't even go in their son's bedroom after the crash. I have seen homeless people living on the streets of major cities that stink so bad you smell them before you see them. You need to follow Phil's advice and find someone to help rather than just drown in your sorrow. I seriously hope things work out for you man. Time is one thing you do not get back
 

brutale

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Sep 8, 2010
Messages
674
I know this site has a lot of good people. Unfortunately one bad apple spoils the bunch.

This thread will be deleted.

Thanks to all of you who responded, I've made several good friends from it this past week so mission accomplished.

Thanks again.
Hi there. I feel for what you are going through. Life can be tough. My two cents:
- stick with your training like Tenny said
- you say you "can't talk to a doctor about it" and get anti-depressant meds ... Why not? Try this: "Doc, I think I'm pretty depressed. I'd like an anti-depressant". It can make a huge difference and help you experience life differently.
- when you feel negative about the things you don't have, try to refocus your mind on things which are positive. You have things to be proud of.
It's funny: I know people who seem to have everything but who are miserable because they want more. And I know people who find happiness despite huge obstacles.
- spend some time talking to your minister (you mentioned church) or a therapist.
- your church might be a good place to focus on expanding your social life and community work

This is a bad time for you with the arm issues, but stay on course and consider my suggestions. Things will get better.
 

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