THING'S YOU'LL SEE ONLY AT LATS' GYM!

[Trulyhuge]

TODAY I SAW A GUY GET ESCORTED BY THE POLICE BECAUSE THE POOR BASTARD SMEELS LIKE AN ASSHOLE! OOPS, sorry about the caps. lats, what a day huh!

 

[Crowler]

TODAY I SAW A GUY GET ESCORTED BY THE POLICE BECAUSE THE POOR BASTARD SMEELS LIKE AN ASSHOLE! OOPS, sorry about the caps. lats, what a day huh!

I have now idea what this means.

 

[goodfather]

Maybe dsmo

 

[Crowler]

Maybe dsmo

Or even DMSO

 

[xcelbeyond]

Maybe an overdose of WPC?!?!

xcel

 

[LATS]

well, i guess i should explain to the gang why i must escort one of my members out of the gym by the boys in blue....btw, if anyone thinks that the life of a gym owner is all roses then think again.lol anyway, in my gym we had a guy who we refered to as stinky. we had good reason. when i tell you that he stunk, i mean the bastard stunk...not your typical b.o. a person with b.o. you can smell maybe 5 feet away. not our stinky. he is a man of extremes. b.o. at 5 feet??? mere child's play for our man stinky! let me describe the man for you. he is about 6 feet tall and a good 300 lbs. he has a beard and buster brown haircut. as a matter of fact, he never cut his hair . he just tied it in a onytail and would trim his bangs.. sexy huh?? he has come down to the gym for about 9 months. in all that time he has worn the same outfit, unwashed mind you, the entire time. my gym is 10,000 square feet. the dumbell racks are at the very furthest wall from the front desk. if stinky is at the dumbell rack, you can smell him at the front desk...and that is no shit. it is not your normal funk either...it is a combination of butt cheese and 9 month old ,unwashed clothes...i also need to add that he sweats like a whore in a church confessional...now do the math. from day one i had numerous complaints about this guy. the smell was one thing but, he also hogged three pieces at a time and if anyone tried to work in with him he would get irate. being that the man is on some sort of mental disability, i tried to explain who things work in the gym repeatedly yo him. now before you feel sorry for him for a mental disability, dont...the frickin' guy is fine. he is just milking the system.you can converse with him easy and he is fairly smart. so , as i was saying he was pulled aside numerous times and written up for various violations. most involved the sinus clearing stench that he put out. others involved being rude to the other members. my wife and i finally had enough...last friday she told him he could not come back and we would issue him a refund check for the time he had remaining on his membership. he said "okay" . we thought that was that and reveled in our victory. all was good in the gym again..people danced and the air was clean. well, for some reason on monday he comes waltzing back in as if nothing happened. i was training someone and looked up and was amazed at the cannon ball size testes that this guy must posess. to avoid any incident, we waited for him to finish the my wife went to confront him outside where no one would see. he totally ignored her and kept walking while she is shouting his name trying to get him to turn around. he just walked away. now, anyone who knows my wife will tell ya that she is absolutely the sweetest thing that has roamed the face of the earth. she is never mad. but, when she gets mad it is hell on earth. btw, she is a redhead. now we fast forward to today and in waltzes stinky again. frustrated beyond belief, we call our lawyer. he gives us advice on all the legal matters. well stinky gets into a treadmill and starts making the place smell like a nuclear dump. i write out the legal form and my wife gives it to him while he is on the tread. she tells him that he must leave the facility since he is in violation of his termination. he simply says "i aint fuckin' leaving and there is nothing you can do about it" my wife says if you do not leave we will be forced to call the police. he, with all the elegance he pocesses says "go ahead. see if i fuckin' care" all the while he just runs on the tread. needless to say we called the police and they were there in about two minutes and hauled his little ass out of there. they wrote him a citation for trespassing. as he was being escorted out of the gym he passed the front desk and belched.....at least i will always have those memorys...sniff sniff

 

[Ivan]

What a fucker

Just for the belching thing you should make sure the charges of trespassing are for sure....wow I do not have the willpower to not break his face after the rudeness to the wife!

 

[LATS]

i hear ya bro..it was hard not to do something but, as my wife said "youlll get a 500 dollar fine for assault and he will get a 50 dollar trespassing citation." that is why my wife would not let me talk to him. we had heated words before (our i should say i yelled and he stood there with a blank look on his face) and my wife did not want a incident in the biz. but, i still have this fantasy of lighting him fire and pissing on him to put him out..

 

[killer]

Iam with ivan on this one bro. You did the right thing.
You could of pummeled him after the wife thing. But thats good bussiness.And saved you a lawsuit.That was some funny shit
It took me about 5 min to stop laughing. Good luck man

killer

 

[BIG DUB]

i hear ya bro..it was hard not to do something but, as my wife said "youlll get a 500 dollar fine for assault and he will get a 50 dollar trespassing citation." that is why my wife would not let me talk to him. we had heated words before (our i should say i yelled and he stood there with a blank look on his face) and my wife did not want a incident in the biz. but, i still have this fantasy of lighting him fire and pissing on him to put him out..

Bro That would have been 500 bones I would have loved to have paid,hell I would have a smile on my face as I paid it. Make up an excuse like "he was threatening my wife" that's why I clocked his big ass with this 45lb plate. I'm sorry bro I have no patience for people who try to bring bullshit into my life. DUB.

 

[Queefer]

I feel for ya Lats. Just last week I hired a girl to work the front desk. On her very first day of work I was standing next to her and thought I smelled something kind of rank. Well I just figured maybe she had just gone to lunch and eaten some lasagna with extra onions and garlic. For the rest of the day I tried not to get to close and figured it was a one time deal. The next day as I walked in the front door I was floored with a nasty B O garlic smell. And the smell got worse the closer I get to Mrs. smelly. This smell was so nasty it made a rotten egg fart smell like potpourri. Now the thing is, this girl is fairly cute, and seems like she has common sense. I was baffeled by the situation and not really sure what I was supposed to do. Every time I went to the front desk to speak with her, I almost gaged. When she went to the back to get a drink of water she left trailers. Her trailers was so bad that 5 minutes after she had walked back to the front desk, I made the mistake of walking thru one of them and it was still putrid. I know she had to have known something because I couldn't show her how to do anything for fear of getting too close. One of the members came to the back office and asked me if the new girl had feminine problems and several others made comments about how the gym smelled like B O. This had to be one of the most bizarre things I've had to deal with ever. I really had no idea what to do, so the next morning I just called her up and said that upon checking her application I found some discrepencies, whatever that meant.

 

[noneck76]

my two cents worth

It was about a week or two ago. my brother (trulyhuge) and I were working out. Well I guess the test kicked in and I snapped on ole stinky. He had the hammer row going, a pulldown machine going, the seated leg curl and calf raise machine. Now we are getting ready to do leg presses. I look at trulyhuge and say who is on this leg press? Well ole stinky was loading this fuckin thing up too!!! I say fuck him and start taking off his plates b/c we needed the 45`s and he already had like 4 machines going. He walks over and mumbles like some drunk..."I was geting ready to use that, put the weights back over here." I tell him no, he already has like 4 machines going and we are using these plates. He pops off and says...."WHEN DID U START RUNNING THIS PLACE" i SNAPPED . I said listen here mother fucker, I have been a member for four years longer than u and I am using these plates. I told him to go do his row boats....when he does hammer rows he leans way back and it looks like his is rowing a boat... and get the fuck outta my face. Well then I proceeded to tell him that he has no clue how to use any of the equiptment, he is fat and pathetic and smells like shit. Then he pops off again and says FUCK YOU and starts walking away. By now everyone in the gym has heard more cuss words and cut downs than a Dice Clay concert and the place is quiet...So I told him to no go fuck himself and learn how to use the machines right then come talk to me. After the smoke cleared everyone in the gym told me thanks for setting him straight......well obviusly he didn`t get the point. cause LATS had told him several times to not set up a circuit workout during busy hrs and the next day in the gym...there he went....hammer rows, cable pulldowns, leg curlz, leg presses
WTF!!!

LATS...man I wish u had that on tape...we could seriously make some money off that one

 

[Trulyhuge]

the sweat on his shirt looks like an erect dick and balls-no shit! and the funniest part is that he has a brown sweat mark stuck on his shirt in the same shape! poor stinky bastard! no more drama for a while!

TH

 

[Sandblaster]

LOL...

Damn, so I see Lats and his guys discriminate against circuit trainers....I guess I can't train there...

Seriously, you find them in every business there is and you'd think they'd get a clue...It's not that hard to take a fuckin' shower and wash your clothes...

You should have brought Ivan in to take care of him...

SB

 

[Armageddon]

After reading all this my yheart goes out to Lats. How did you have the balls to marry a RedHead. LOL J/K

 

[stackdizzy]

lol, you guys should have thrown a bucket of soapy water on his ass when he left the gym. As far as the chick that stinks I would give her a gym convinence christmas gift of deorderant FDS and some other smell good shit, I think that would have been a subtle hint that should would have gotten! Also maybe a toilet brush so she could wash out that pussy!!

 

[Ivan]

SB if only

Damn, so I see Lats and his guys discriminate against circuit trainers....I guess I can't train there...

Seriously, you find them in every business there is and you'd think they'd get a clue...It's not that hard to take a fuckin' shower and wash your clothes...

You should have brought Ivan in to take care of him...

SB

It would have been my pleasure!

 

[Big A]

lol, you guys should have thrown a bucket of soapy water on his ass when he left the gym. As far as the chick that stinks I would give her a gym convinence christmas gift of deorderant FDS and some other smell good shit, I think that would have been a subtle hint that should would have gotten! Also maybe a toilet brush so she could wash out that pussy!!

Nah, just give her a membership to LATS's gym!

 

[LATS]

i think that i may have found stinky's soulmate!!! may they stink happily ever after...

 

[patk]

Bro...I run a gym in the city area and I am disgusted with some of the shit I see. We have a club about 28000 square ft with 3500 to 4000 members and I have seen some fu#@$ng sickest shit and sometimes I mean Literally "shit". There are some messed up people in the world are'nt there!!!!! Anyway Lats.....I've been there for about 4 years now and I feel your pain brother. As much as I love my business and what I do......it not all peaches and cream.......ooohhhh peaches and cream......HONEY CAN YOU COME HERE!!! Sorry...gotta go, hehehe!!! Take care.


patk