guys,
i respect that you all make the effort to see me do better and I understand bodybuilding is not a huge money making sport and I should invest my time elsewhere- yes the things I did were dumb and wrong and it took now to see that- I should of paid Phil in full- not taken that much gear, etc, etc. I can only learn from my mistakes and not do them again- I will have to take a further step back and get with it more- I am on my junior year in college, do have a job, try to have fun, etc, etc- bodybuilding does not consume my life to where I eat the same food day in and out anymore and am freaking out over 20 grams of protein..- I train how I feel and do hope for the best- I may never be a pro and I defintely understand this as Phil has told meand my parents and brothers have told me. I am not saying that I will do anything to become a pro-i just tried different things to see if it would work, but it didnt and I learned- I just want to stick with bodybuilding and compete for a while and try my hand at it, even if I dont have what it takes, I believe that mentally I am there to go in and out everyday of the gym and just keep going like all of you- this is not my profession and I understand this, but I just want get as muscular as my body can get- if I turn pro-great, if not no biggie, I just want to succeed in my goals I chose- I am on myself as far as health goes, and my bp and my test levels, etc. I have taken a more lax approach to training and diet and hope to better my body as I get older- I want to have fun and have a family and live a life like all of you, but there is a fire inside of me that wants me to compete and train and eat and diet and win, so I will do it, but I will also have other things in my life,which I have started doing- I am young and I will keep going no matter the negative comments I have gotten in my life and try to suceed to the best of my ability, but i will have a career , family, and wont try to put all of my eggs in the bodybuilding basket, I learn and I need to change and I am changing, and will totally change as I get older. I can keep going but I have to prove it to not you but me. I did wrong and owned up, it shouldnt of happened, I shouldnt be on the boards and need to just keep going and better my mind and body and life.