The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have!"
He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby."
He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!" The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby."
He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"
Not a joke but when i was younger (20's) my friends and I would sit around talking about the wild nights with drunken acts of stupidity, weed, cocaine and who we banged the night before. Fast forward to your 50's and its about the wild nights of getting good sleep with your CPAP, blood pressure pills, how decent our shits are and the latest colonoscopy we had!
Mental Note: For you younger guys, take care of yourself and enjoy your youth!
Three guys were talking in the local bar. The manager was so sure that its bouncer was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him. The challenge was that the bouncer would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money. Over the years many people had tried this, truck drivers, weightlifters, karate masters, and all had failed. Then one day this geeky little fella with heavy black rimmed glasses came into the bar and asked if he could try the challenge. After the laughter had subsided the landlord said that it was only fair that the man be given a chance at the bet, so he picked up a lemon and started squeezing. Once he was done he handed the remains to the little man who promptly squeezed out 4 more drops of juice onto the bar! Everyone looked on in amazement as the landlord handed over the prize and asked "What do you do for a living that has given you such strength? Are you a construction worker, Mixed Martial Arts fighter, what?" "No" the man replied, "I work for the IRS."
An overweight man sees an ad on his TV, for a guaranteed 5 lb. a week weight loss program. He decides, "what the hell", and calls and purchases it. A week later a beautiful woman shows up at his door wearing nothing but a pair of running shoes, a smile, and a sign around her neck which read, "if you can catch me you can have me", and she started running. He followed. This continued everyday for that week, guaranteed, he lost five lbs. After that, the man saw an ad for a 7 lb. a week weight loss program, which he signs up for. The next day, an even more beautiful woman shows up at his door in similar conditions, and she started running. But this time, he almost caught her. But, guaranteed, he lost 7 lbs. that week. He then signs up for the MAXPRO 10 lb. a week program. The next day, a 300 lb. muscle man shows up at his door wearing nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection and a sign around his neck which read, "If I can catch you, I can have you." The man lost 17 lbs. that week