I wish I had played it like you did. It was and still is my personality though to want to push everything I do to the max. Now that I don't bodybuild anymore it is driving my car at the track. Already looking at flashing the ECU to add more power and change the suspension, maybe do a sportier exhaust etc. I feel like driving 150 mph on the back straight at the track is safer than what I used to do!
M,
Glad you have found another interest / passion that you excel in. Much like you,
I am a 100%er . . . like a light switch, on or off until it comes to my health. In
bodybuilding for instance, the lure of drugs and the unavoidable side effects
were a few of the many protections against my temptation; but my cowardice
was the greatest. Sorry . . . I am no lab rat.
So thanks Maldorf. Your comments mean a lot to me. You have looked
‘adversity’ in the eyes, I know that and it changed you for the better. I have
too (not bodybuilding, or health) . . .for instance an irate, scared Soviet
youth with an AK-47 firmly planted on my forehead. But you have been
through worse . . . mine was temporary . . . but it did change me . . .
as did the 13 year old girl I saw, raped and murdered and discarded in a
wheat field like a Dixie cup . . . or the young man I found at night, hanging
from an oak tree, a noose around his neck having died a result of suicide or
a body rolled up in as old carpet laying off the side of a turnout in a country
road, the stench unmistakable unless experienced. Those things stick with
you . . . make bodybuilding look like child’s play and irrelevant but you
move on . . . or you don’t.
I have never divulged these things here before but this post is getting some
traffic and my comments might be of value.
Bodybuilders, much like all serious mountaineers (something else I have
done) have big egos. They cannot take on the risks and constant suffering
of big mountains without one. They may talk like Buddhists but don’t be
fooled . . . they are actually hard-driving narcissists. The price of success
must always be paid in full, and it is always paid in advance.
In closing . . . I am reminded of this quote . . . “Everyone who is born holds
a dual citizenship; in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick”
Susan Sontag wrote in her introduction to
Illness as Metaphor. "Although
we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is
obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other
place."
Be well and have a joyous and healthy Xmas and New Year.