Anyone else hate the mirror? How do you deal with it?

klownh8er · Apr 28, 2010

I usually try not to complain, but when I do I usually go to the girlfriend and just to give her a shout out she is the best, most supportive person I have ever met in my life next to my brothers. I like to stay very humble and to myself when it comes to my own body as I feel self edification is bragging or being disrespectful to someone else.

I know it takes years to add thickness and size and we all go to the gym to better our physique.. but

Have you ever looked in the mirror and truly, passionately, hated what you saw physically? Now I grew up as the fat kid, who was ridiculed by my own family.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all of that, but how do you other bodybuilders, fitness competitors, or what ever else is out there deal with body dysmorphic disorder? I never feel "big" enough, hate wearing "tight" or "fitted" clothes, and every time I flex in the mirror I don't see what other people see.

I look through all the member photos and just amazed at how you all look and wonder why I'm so far behind and sometimes just feel twisted and angry at my body.

Now I feel like I'm bitching too much haha
I'm 20 years old, yes I know young, but I am also stupid.
5'11 last time I checked
weight fluctuates between 220-230lbs
BF% is probably in the upper 20's or 30's, I feel pretty damn fat, but really have no freaking idea, because my girlfriend says I'm not fat

, but my parents do haha
Consider myself having chicken legs, but I literally can't squat due to my right knee and I know people use this as an excuse, but it's 100% legit. My knee gets swollen and can not bend when too much pressure is on it so I have to leg press (sometimes heavy which is nice) and lots of calf work.

Alright that was a lot of bitching, but I open to all of you on this forum, my brothers and sisters of iron, not hoping for sympathy, but hoping that you veterans can help guide me both mentally and physically.

Again, I am sorry for bitching so much,

mitochondria · Apr 28, 2010

hey the mirror tells it like it is, thats the real scale not the number, im not pleased with the way i look right now, but i guess im in charge of how i handle that

Dann · Apr 28, 2010

Hey Bro
Ur not the only one with tht problem I believe alot of us goes through same shit every day ... Its hard to watch some of the memebers pics and not get blown away ... All u can say WTF !!! when can I have body like that but honestly I get motivation from these pics that I can do it too and these guys are always here to help me if I need any ... But then again u probably didnt even notice it and ur already making progress .... the thing is u look at ur self in the mirror every day thas why u dont see any change in u ... I would say start taking some pics and then compare ur self couple of months later ... If ur working hard and ur diet is in check thr is no way u wont going to notice any change ..
GOOD LUCK

Ash2021 · Apr 28, 2010

I really think I have some sort of issue. I look in the mirror and I see a skinny guy. (believe me compared to you guys I am)
But people comment you can tell I work out, or that I'm not small, etc.

I probably sound retarded but this actually happens to me. I'll catch a partial reflection in like a mirror in a store, one of those ones that is on a pillar or something in the distance and think that person looks decent or has a good build and not realize it's me. But when I look direct in the mirror I really don't see the same thing. Same thing- I was in a wedding a couple years ago and was the most built I have been (actually I then lost it and have just now gained it back and am up a couple lbs over then) and I would flip through the wedding pictures and not actually recognize myself, same thing at first I'd think oh man that guy has a good build, then I'd realize it was me and I really didn't recognize myself. Don't know why but when I look in the mirror in the morning I just don't see the same person. I guess it's like the opposite of how an anorexic person sees themselves. I could never understand it, but now I'm starting to realize I'm the same but on the opposite end. Does this make any sense to anyone?

gregbrich · Jun 1, 2010

I'll tell you what I told my nephew... join the military, it will help you gain self esteme, self confidence, and place you in an eviroment that strongly encourages physical fitness.

prime · Jun 1, 2010

I'm okay with the mirror. I don't like photos. Photos seem to be more harsh.

goonstopher · Jun 1, 2010

Bro - I deal with it everyday!

When I was a teenager I use to want to kill myself so that no one else would have to suffer from seeing my face. I felt I was so ugly that the world would be better without me in it.

In college I was on the fringe of the "pretty boy" / meathead click and one of the most well known people on campus but my self hatred kept me from making any real friends or getting laid ever. I would often sit in my room 23.5 hours a day and only leave at 4am to get vending machine food so that no one would see me. I spent hours a day getting ready to leave the room or go to class. I barely squeeked by in school simply because I was too upset with my looks.

Now - It has gotten manageable but it is still hell. Everything around me tells me that I should be confident enough to live a normal life. I sometimes have moments of cockiness mixed in with insecurity but I can never find a healthy place. I am either so insecure or overly cocky. I have never approached a girl and started a conversation and don't think that day will ever come. I have only gotten laid purely on presentation ala being with the right people or being in perfect shape enough to overcome my own thoughts.

I don't have any advice man, just sharing your pain.

Flex2019 · Jun 1, 2010

It seems to me that you're looking in the mirror and it's telling you the truth, and that is your problem. As far as getting over that, you either need to come to terms with the fact that it's the way you look and get used to it, or you need to put together a set of goals and a gameplan for making the changes in life that will make you happier. Nobody is going to do this for you. I know how you feel having grown up "the fat kid". I was the same way. 225lbs (at 5'7") by 7th grade and made fun of by everyone for most of my childhood. Eventually I got sick of it and made the decision to change. Time to decide what's important to you. Sorry if this seems a little harsh, I didn't mean for it to come across that way.

pakololo · Jun 19, 2010

Do something about it brah..Write up a gameplan,stick to it. Results will come. Procrastination is one of the biggest evils you can do to yourself. Now go forth and do what you're supposed to.

robot · Jun 19, 2010

.. yup the mirror still lies.

Photos are best for self analysis.

neverquit6 · Jun 20, 2010

I think anyone who workouts for size and muscle definition, feels the same way at times. Take what you see in the mirror and if you don't like it, use it as motivation to work harder and harder.

pakololo · Jun 20, 2010

neverquit6 said:
I think anyone who workouts for size and muscle definition, feels the same way at times. Take what you see in the mirror and if you don't like it, use it as motivation to work harder and harder.

Agreed!

RESTLESS1 · Jun 20, 2010

if youre bf% is in the upper 20's maybe even 30% thats pretty high......why not just post a pic and get some comments that way..... also i am one of those people who believes i will never be truly happy with what i see in the mirror....i will always be 5lbs away from my goal.......best of luck to you

mrs bapper · Jun 20, 2010

Its not what you see in the mirror that matters, its how you percieve yourself in your mind..If your happy on the inside then it will show in the exterior, Let yourself be happy and love the person that you are..Train your mind too become more positve and everything else will fall into place and if you can do this,then you will start to achieve so much more and you will reap the rewards and it will show in your physical appearance..I hope my words too you are of some help and I wish you every success in all that you do..

mexbeast · Jun 20, 2010

mrs bapper said:
Its not what you see in the mirror that matters, its how you percieve yourself in your mind..If your happy on the inside then it will show in the exterior, Let yourself be happy and love the person that you are..Train your mind too become more positve and everything else will fall into place and if you can do this,then you will start to achieve so much more and you will reap the rewards and it will show in your physical appearance..I hope my words too you are of some help and I wish you every success in all that you do..

damn!!! i agree, and wanted to say that to be successful in every aspect of life you have to love yourself and be happy with yourself.
at 20 i hope you think of this words and begin to love and appreciate yourself.