DOES YOUR FAMILY SUPPORT BB

[Vander_V]

My old man for the longest time cant seem to grasp the purpose of BB, he has never supported me in my decisions on BB , even when i was in mags and had a 9 page layout in planet muscle he still said what is this ? what are you trying to prove how is BB going to make you a better human being how is it productive he asked me , he said answer that and i couldnt so i just ignored him and went on with my lifting , then one day it hit me and i started to realize what he was trying to convey to me , hours of training and lifting plus money and gear on top of everything else is NOT going to make me any better then iam its not gonna prove a thing and its not productive what so ever?? so whats the point ? is it a goal we want to reach ? is it for fun? is it for the sport and competitiveness inside ? or is it about us as BBs , I beleive its about us and wanting more of what we see more of what we could become more of the thrill of sport and the ability to compete more more more which then becomes a selfish game with OURSELVES . Im confused on where i stand maybe some of you can share your thoughts on the matter.

 

[LATS]

vander.. it is a very old way of thinking.. my father was older when i was born.. he was 50.. he came from the depression era, fought the british being in the ira, fought in ww2, came from nothing and went to med school and became a dentist.. in his eyes anything that did not improve income and standing in the community was a waste of time.. but, the funny thing was when ever i was not around, he would always brag about his son being bigger and stronger than his friend's sons.. just not to my face.. i think he did it (the negativity) to keep me balanced.. in his eyes he was helping.. my mother told me when he came to my first show and i won my class that he was very emotional and left the audience for a while.. when i saw him later he said "are you about done with dancing in your undies and going to get a real job?".. i got used to ignoring it and would fire back a reply or two but, it bothered me.. it was not until later that i realized that he was very proud of what i was doing and liked the bragging rights.. but, he still probably did not understand it.. but, it was my life and i truly did not care what he thought about it.. sure, i wanted him to be proud of me but, i also wanted to be happy.. it is a fine line.. BE HAPPY..

 

[Trulyhuge]

What an interesting thread!
My parents started with the usual questions when you first start out. Why are you eating nonstop? What are you going to do with your life? Don't you think you spend too much time at the gym?
Now, the question about eating comes up often b/c hell, every 2 hours I am stuffing my face. I eat like clock work. My body is on a timer. I wake up, eat, train, eat, nap, eat, shower, eat, go to work, eat numerous times there, come home, eat, sleep. Now, the "normal" people in life would see this as crazy and insane but hell, not us!
My parents have yet to see me compete. They don't understand the sport much. My father always brings up the question "why did you quit playing soccer...don't you miss it?" Being an all-state soccer player in high school and receiving numerous college offers and a invite to play in Germany when I was 17 I think he was sure my mind was set. The first time I picked up a weight was when I was 14 and that feeling never got old. I would train for 2 hours after school and then endure a 2 hour grueling practice. Hell, I would even lift on my game days. I'd get to the field with more fire in my eyes.
I do it for me, no one else. You have to love yourself and love what you do or you cannot be happy!

TH

 

[AWN2004]

My parents were kind of neutral at first. They figured it was just a hobby untill I competed. My dad was always supportive of me and liked that I was getting big. I think dads like it when they can look at their son and see a reflection of themselves in a way. My mom however didnt think it was healthy and since she has had health problems she really worried about what I was doing. About a year ago they came out and asked me if I was using steroids. I had put on a good amount of muscle over the off season and had not seen my parents in about 6 weeks and then I visited them and they were shocked. I really felt like I couldnt lie to them about my use so I told them. I got the compete opposite response than what I was expecting. Instead of them freaking out, they wanted to learn more about what I was taking and started reading about different compounds and side effects. They knew I would get my blood work done on a regular basis and they knew I tried to take care of myself. They also knew that I didnt drink or do any other drugs so in their eyes what I was doing was not that bad and since I had scripts for everthing I wasnt breaking any laws. They became more and more receptive to my hobby and really started to understand what I was doing. When they came to my show they were very surprised at everything and realized how much hard work it was for everyone that entered that show, not just me. They told me they really respected the dedication and how hard the people worked to get to where they were. Thats one thing my parents stressed very much when I was younger, work hard and don't give up.
I owe a lot to my folks because they were very supportive of me and said they are very excited to come to my next show. My mom even made a scrap book of all the pics she took and that was a shocker to me because she was the one that I thought would be least likely to show support.

 

[RicPhoenix]

Bodybuilding is a hobby like any other. If you would like to achieve a high level of expertise at the hobby you will have to spend considerable time and resources to do so.

For example if your hobby was photographing birds you would need a camera, possibly film development equipment, lenses worth thousands of dollars, photography lessons, attend expos, buy books and you will need to travel globally and pay for travel into the forests of exotic locations to see the birds that you like to film.

If you played piano you would need to practice several hours daily and the better you become at playing the more expensive and extensive the lessons which you may need several times a week....plus a piano.

So bodybuilding is similar in those respects, the difference might be that the respect for it and understanding of it, is missing.

It is interesting in this age of Western World obesity that it is not clear to our parents or others that you can use bodybuilding to develop a career for yourself with a bit of entrepreneurship and perhaps some academics....If Dr Phil and Oprah or some other movie star can write a book on dieting and yet be overweight...why cant you ? or at least show people how to lose weight? So why not study dietetics, exercise science, get a personal trainer cert, take a few small business courses, learn how to write for magazines etc....and make your hobby/passion something that you do for money. That way you can actually enjoy waking up and going to the gym and being paid for it.

Most of our parents or people in general do not have the opportunity to enjoy their jobs or lives and that is why they may not understand what you choose to do with your time or how you can use it to better yourself and others.

 

[miketasher]

Support

My family wasn't into it at first also until I competed. After that my mom is really supportive and goes to all of my shows. My dad was away when I first competed so he only saw me when I would visit every once in awhile. He was interseted and was working out a little himself to kill time. After he got out of his little vacation he started to train with me. He was never a talker but this gave us alot to talk about. Now they are both interested in supplement training and the anti aging process. They saw how my first diet and competition lead me to learn I had alot of self discipline. Since that first show 6 years ago I now have 2 appraisal companies here in AZ and IN. So they see how BB has made me into a business owner not afraid of taking chances, because of the self discipline. Before that they would try and control me and tell me what was best.

 

[zephyr22]

I hate to say this...

My father passed away when I was very young. I was about 7 or 8 yrs old. I can remember watching movies with him like rambo, commando etc... He thought those large muscled tough guys were cool so I figured thats what a real man is big and bad. When he passed away of a horrible car accident I was kinda in shock for a couple of years. I then saw a picture of Arnold in a Magazine. It was muscle in fitness. From then on at probably 10yrs old I liked the look of muscle. I just thought it looked "cool". So once I hit highschool I hit the weights hard. Then my Mom took notice of my eating habits training etc....and her first words were "dont be taking steroids". That was the furthest thing from my mind. Now at this time I dont think my mom would give a shit if I was booting Heroin. You see my mom is a druggy. I know this because my younger brother tells me about her secretive phone calls and her little I gotta go to the store routine and comes back 4 hrs later. She is a Oxycontin snorting addict. Which is totally of base here in this thread I know. My mom when I was in high school was the mom that was a true mother. A single mom who worked hard. Took good care of us. Gave us good morals etc... Now she is not even my mother anymore to me. I love her but I dont know how to intervene. I have tried talking to her but she is in major denial. Sorry I went on with this but I think I have almost literally cried about this for the last couple of days.

 

[jerrywear]

wow

this is my life stile,its not even a hobby.it feels like this is my second job.but this second jod keeps me stright.if i wouldnt have BB i would go insane,i might be in jail or what ever the case could be.i never go out i just dont see the point.i cant stand drunk people trying to say OH I WAS LIKE YOU A FEW YEARS AGO,or somebodys girlfriend, MY BOYFRIEND IS AS BIG AS YOU.No they not.
its just this is who i am,its not about pay off,or when i am going to make money,if you looking for that i think you in the right sport.dont get me wrong,but you know better then anybody,its so many like us who lifts,who trying to be Mr.O or anything to get there.but only few can.So its actualy up to you how you going to take that.or where you want to take that.do you want to do the shows and do that every year?or just do it for fun and just for yourself?then you find the answers to those questions i think you will be fine.
i am doing it because i love it every second of it.i love to lift i love the pain,i love doing shows.its just who i am,i never asked myself man when i am going to get there or when i am going to make money,or who will understand what i am doing.
my pay off is the time at the gym when i am lifting the weights.whats all

and my famely is happy for where i am in sport.and they going to see me in the europian magazine next month,so they cant wait to see that.and me too.

 

[IRON37]

Nobody in my family supports my bodybuilding goals except my mom lol, but still its just kindof hard when theres nobody behind you. I guess it jsut went from a hobby to a lifestyle as it does with everyone. At first just to get a little bigger & then once I did start becoming more healthy I kindof had a respect for the gym & what I felt its given to me.......before I was into lifting I wasnt goin anywhere just drinking & smoking & getting arrested for dumb little immature things. & I also had a bad image & self esteem problem I guess. Bodybuilding taught me discipline & how you get what you put in. Kindof made me humble about myself, & nobody can seem to stand it lol....but I hope to lift until they put me in the coffin. Dont know if this really goes along with what the overall threads about but thats how I feel

 

[xcelbeyond]

.. in his eyes anything that did not improve income and standing in the community was a waste of time.. but, the funny thing was when ever i was not around, he would always brag about his son being bigger and stronger than his friend's sons..

My wife tells me I should be using a Bowflex to workout. But when someone asks about my working out she'll acknowledge that I do.

I'm not saying your Dad is like most of the General Public but he just doesn't know what he doesn't know.

Here my philosophy about "getting good" at ANYTHING:
In order to do this, you need-
1) Dream/goal/reason, an end rsult that you're seeking (why else would you work, study, workout, etc.)
2) Be persistant (study when you don't want to, go to work when you feel shitty, make that sales call to the obnoxious person, WORKOUT when you feel lazy)

If you do those things wanting to get to the top (of what you're doing), you will appear fanatical. Most people will say "I wouldn't do what you're doing (or I wouldn't waste my time doing that)." Well, most people will not obtain those result for just those reasons - "not doing it."

Once you obtain a goal, don't people say "you were lucky" "you inherited it" "you're just a natural at it (like Michael Jordan and basketball - he lost MUCH of growing up spending COUNTLESS hours of practicing - how can being so fanatical about a ball get you anything) "you must be on 'roids"

I know that you have a pretty successful business. Did you inherit it? Did your parents buy it for you? Weren't you just in the right place at the right time? Or did you follow the principles I mentiond?

Being a good bb'er means that you 1) set some goals and 2) were consistent and persistent - the same things it takes to xcel at anything Learning these things tend to transfer to other aspects in life. It's kinda like learning to be a good asshole - you're one with your friends, at home, and at work.

Now you DAD certainly loves and cares for you, but he just doesn't know (or really understand). Must "truly" successful people in life fully understand the principles I'm trying to convey here. That's why they're only about 5% of the people.

Some may say "yea but you need balance in your life" - and I don't disagree. That DOES NOT mean that EVERYTHING gets an equal amount of time. Have you ever seen someone that doesn't work, stays at home with their kids, and has a very poor relationship with their kids? Balance means contributing "quality" to those thing that are important to you.

 

[BigMatt]

My parents are ok with it.
They are just scare of Steroids...
I mean they prefer i lift and eat all the time then going into clubs and getting drunk and smoking bud.
The Thing that they dont like is i got my motorycle liscence and they hate it.
i always wanted a sportbike,the day i bought my R1,i knew they didnt want me riding a motorcycle...

Guess parents are always protective and love they children no matter what...

But i must say knowledge is power and getting a education in my goal is the only way to succed(My opinion of succeding) in real life...

 

[MikeS]

Very interesting topic...so why only 23 votes and almost 200 views?

 

[New_Mass]

is it for fun? is it for the sport and competitiveness inside ?

that's it for me,
as for the sport when your already confident and know exactly where your trying to go with it then ppl will pick up on the vibe and support you(they know you know who you are and have direction with or without BB), its only when they sense or feel that your not that confident in what your doing yourself they'll try to fill you up with there way things should go(in there eyes they feel your still under-developed and use things such as bodybuilding to mask or fill the void of being incomplete). something to think about

 

[BULK_CITY]

I BB for MANY reasons:

1- i am extremly competitive (I have caught myself trying to be "the best/win" at something that wasn't even a competition lol ie- i act like I'm in a race when i drive with all the other drivers on the road.. all the time)
2- i like to challenge myself
3- I want to be huge. I was skinny in high school, got a few comments here and there nothing major (i was 6'2'' 160lbs) and it didn't bother me that much, but now I just want to be the biggest guy in every room I'm in (insecurity? no, i just want to be big)
4- I like it. Pretty simple, I love waking up extra early before classes to eat eggwhites and lift weights, or jog around the neighborhood. I love the sense of self worth/displicine/dedictation needed to be successful at BB and knowing that few people can do what I can do.
5- I'm 100% in control (- genetics)
6- I am a little narsacisstic (lie, a lot) and like it when I get stares from other people. Also I like the fact girls dig it, but would lift even if they didn't
7- If I'm ever in a fight I'd like to know I could handle myself well (i know strength doesn't always determine this)
8- health benefits

As for the parents, both love me a lot and are supportive in anything I do. I am truely blessed. However, they will comment/critique my bb lifestyle, as well as my body needlessly. I never ask them to conform/help me out with it but I think b/c they are both overweight they sometimes take a stab at me to boost themselves up or something. They also like to blame my failures/laziness on my BB'ing but they also blame everything else i do on my failures so i dont know LOL. They have no malicious intent, they just want me to be the best I can be and be happy. However, I've learned that talking about it with them/getting mad at them if they are ignorant/throw bad food in your face/question you about it a lot, its just best to say one thing and do another. Nod and change the subject.

 

[BULKING_N]

I am very thankful and blessed that my folks ( Dad 54, Mom 47 ) support my bb. I dont compete like some of you guys, (one day for sure), but they understand me and how much getting to the gym and ensuring I have my 12-15 egg whites a day means to me. They workout as well, read my mags and I guess that does help a lot. I guess Im one of the few! My mother and sis wear same clothes and dad thinks I use up their protein powder when my tub runs empty so they start hiding it away. UGH!
I even told them Im gonna try a cycle which had them raise their eye brows a bit but it ended up '' We're not gonna inject your hairy backside so dont try that!'' LOL
As for the guys who havent got the support, I feel very sympathetic to you. How hard it must be and frustrating. Dont let that keep you back for in your quest for success, you must ruffle a few feathers and more.Excelling in something requires overcoming barriers and know that its not laid on a silver plater for you.

 

[bigbaldbulldog]

Nope

NO !!!

 

[Mr Pickles]

my mom thinks its cool

my dad thinks its lame but he was a cyclist so go figure

the rest of the family thinks i'm a damn weirdo for the eating... my SIL is afraid i'm gonna eat her kids

 

[BCC]

100% supportive.

 

[moj0]

I have been a bodybuilder for a very long time and my parents are both proud and supportive of me. Like Jerrywear said it is my lifestyle and my family and long time friends know me as a bodybuilder. My mom and dad (like any good parents) are concerned about the health aspects but they know that I do the right thing and keep up with my blood work and checkups. I know that as time goes by I will have to change some aspects of my bodybuilding lifestyle ( I already have at age 45) but I don't intend to ever quit. BB has reinforced in me the value of hard work and discipline and has made me believe that I can be successful at anything I do. Now that I have my own family they are also very proud and supportive of me (my kids are my biggest fans). My wife backs me 110% (she likes muscular guys) and makes BB easier for me than when I was single. Because it is a way of life for me I strive always to keep it in balance with the other elements of my life. Because of this I think the acceptance of others comes naturally.

 

[Bent_O_Bar]

My family has never (and still don't) support my BB. It used to bother me, now I don't care.

I love working out, I enjoy the challenge of upping the weight or reps each workout, I love being pumped after a hard workout, I enjoy being able to control (to a point) how I will look, my eating, sleeping, trying out various training styles, etc. I love how I took this rail thin body and made it stronger and bigger.

I never get tired of it, and to me each workout is a little success. So even if I have a crappy week at work or whatever I've been successful at something that's within my hands to fail or conquer alone. There is no end, it's all in the journey.