Whether or not you achieve fertility obviously is something that is going to be life-changing and something that means a lot to you. At some point before you give up, please consider trying clomid. I know you don't believe it will work, but you truly have nothing to lose.
Be patient. You have to give the process time to work, and stop changing your protocol! You have changed your protocol countless times since we have been talking about this.
As others have said, you have only been trying to restart your fertility for 3 months now. That's only one sperm cycle, and not enough time to get the testicles working again. Before that you were on 900mg Test and 600mg Deca per week, and you've been on steroids and shut down for years. It's going to take time to wake your body up from being shut down for so long.
A sperm cycle is 2.5 months in the body. It takes that long for the sperm to mature. Like I have told you, what you were doing in the beginning of November only shows up in your sperm count halfway through January. Right now, your semen analysis is only showing what you were doing in end of November/early December. What you are doing right now will only show up in your sperm count halfway through May.
I know it's hard, but you have to be patient, and give your body time to wake up and recover from your use and abuse of steroids for years.
Believe me, I'm not judging you, because I've been on steroids for almost 29 years myself, and I never took HCG or anything else to maintain fertility. So it took time for my body to wake up and recover and start producing sperm again.
At the beginning, I had a zero sperm count. For the first seven months, I was on Test + HCG, and seven months of that only got me to 7 million/ml. Then I added in HMG, and within 4 months I was at 31 million/ml, and my wife was pregnant. But it took eleven months to get there.
You will recover quicker than I did, because you are using HMG from the beginning. But you still have to give the process time to work. There's no way around that. Don't quit now, or everything you did so far has been a waste of time and money. Have faith in the process.
Be patient, be consistent, keep to your protocol, keep injecting HCG and HMG, and you will see a big improvement after a couple of sperm cycles. But you have to stick to the program to get there, and you have to give it time to work.
If I could show you a picture of my baby daughter smiling at me, or her pulling on my pants leg when she wants to go play with me, you will realize that all the effort is worth it.
It worked for me; it will work for you too. Have faith and pray to God. I will be praying to God for you.
I understand you're frustrated dude but holy hell, relax. It takes time.
I'm in the same position as you and I'm desperately trying to chill and remind myself that this doesn't happen in weeks....it happens in months. 3 months is just not enough time.
I'm fuckin sitting around here at 290lbs ready to cut for a show...but this pregnancy shit is more important that blasting and trying to get on stage this year. You do whatever u want to do, but whatever u choose will show what your priorities are. My wife and I had this discussion, i had a great offseason BUT, this year is about getting her pregnant. That's the goal. Not winning my class. So if i have to look meh and soft for a little longer to have a baby, I'm fine with it.