Getting back into the game...need advice. O/T

TheFNG · May 15, 2010

This isn't about gear or cycling, it's about getting my ass motivated to go pound some tail.

Do you ever feel like you know someone really well, and then you realize you don't know who they are at all?

To sum it up, My girl and I are in our hometown visiting our families. I've been with my girl for nearly three years up until last night. I thought this was a great relationship. Not to sound arrogant, but everyone has always envied us because of how close we are, and how good our relationship has been. We really have no severe issues. We don't get bored, we're honest with each other, supportive, sex life is great, we dont fight...and so on. My family had us over for dinner last night, and told us we could crash in my old room after we went out for the evening. We had an excellent night, come back to my family's, and here it goes....Her drunken, drunken stupor.

She's walking around in my room, being loud, obnoxious...and this isn't the first time it has happened. It's far and few, I've put up with it, but we're in my FAMILY'S HOME. My girl cannot drink without getting retarded. I politely ask her about a hundred times to come to bed; that she is going to wake my family. Eventually, I get out of bed after three hours of this shit and drive her ass home. She's being a drunken brat disrespectful brat.

I say nothing to her the entire way home, shes crying, asking me if I love her. (wtf). I drop her off, say nothing, and she wakes HER mother at 3AM to drive her back here to get her car. I get home, I get her shit together, and set it on top of her car for when they get there to get it. I get up this morning to send her a message via facebook that we need to talk about last night. She's got me blocked; like totally cut contact. How the hell can you be with someone, LIVE with someone for three years and just randomly brush them under the rug?

To be honest, I'm fuckin devastated but I'm not going to let this kind of bullshit keep me down. I'm 24 years old, I'm young.....Now where do I start again?

richiec · May 15, 2010

TheFNG said:
This isn't about gear or cycling, it's about getting my ass motivated to go pound some tail.

Do you ever feel like you know someone really well, and then you realize you don't know who they are at all?

To sum it up, My girl and I are in our hometown visiting our families. I've been with my girl for nearly three years up until last night. I thought this was a great relationship. Not to sound arrogant, but everyone has always envied us because of how close we are, and how good our relationship has been. We really have no severe issues. We don't get bored, we're honest with each other, supportive, sex life is great, we dont fight...and so on. My family had us over for dinner last night, and told us we could crash in my old room after we went out for the evening. We had an excellent night, come back to my family's, and here it goes....Her drunken, drunken stupor.

She's walking around in my room, being loud, obnoxious...and this isn't the first time it has happened. It's far and few, I've put up with it, but we're in my FAMILY'S HOME. My girl cannot drink without getting retarded. I politely ask her about a hundred times to come to bed; that she is going to wake my family. Eventually, I get out of bed after three hours of this shit and drive her ass home. She's being a drunken brat disrespectful brat.

I say nothing to her the entire way home, shes crying, asking me if I love her. (wtf). I drop her off, say nothing, and she wakes HER mother at 3AM to drive her back here to get her car. I get home, I get her shit together, and set it on top of her car for when they get there to get it. I get up this morning to send her a message via facebook that we need to talk about last night. She's got me blocked; like totally cut contact. How the hell can you be with someone, LIVE with someone for three years and just randomly brush them under the rug?

To be honest, I'm fuckin devastated but I'm not going to let this kind of bullshit keep me down. I'm 24 years old, I'm young.....Now where do I start again?

that sucks bro, but this should be in the counseling forum.

you can't just "get over it", but give it some time

railslave · May 15, 2010

just ignore her for awhile. dont chase after her. thats what she wants you to do. chill out, and hope she realizes that kinda shit wont be tolerated anymore. hopefully it will work out. if not, your young, move on.

TheFNG · May 15, 2010

richiec said:
that sucks bro, but this should be in the counseling forum.

you can't just "get over it", but give it some time

Damn, I didn't even know we had one of those. Can I move it?

richiec · May 15, 2010

ask one of the mods

Omega-Red · May 15, 2010

Hey Dude, thats crazy infact almost unbelievable. I really dont understand some peoples logic these days, I guess my 2 cents worth would be that its happened and obviously if this is how she behaves its not worth you pursuiting this or going over n over it in your head, it will only eat at you and restrict you from progressing ahead.

I would just hook up with some of your mates and get out there meet some new girls, in my new job which i started approx 6 months ago I have had to travel all over the place and meet a lot of women from varied backgrounds etc.. And im telling you no BS their are some great people out their who are interesting and will def make your forget rats like that in an instant. Dont let this drag you down, life i for the living dude.

Its all about mindset, focus on making it a priority to get out there and talk to diff even women you wouldnt think to go for because you would be shocked at what happens if you do just remember doors dont open unless you go knocking on them!

Emery · May 15, 2010

I have found over the years that alcohol can really screw up a relationship, especially if one of the parties cant handle their booze!

Its too bad that people will sacrifice love/life for that liquid!

I've been there, dumped a chick that couldn't control herself while drinking, she ended up being 3 baby's mama to 3 different dads!

Thank god!

the student · May 15, 2010

I've seen this happen many times. As her anger subsides, she'll likely feel like more and more of an ass and right now she probably already kinda of does. She may be trying to stay mad to keep her embaressmet at bay. It's going to take some maturity for her to face you after causing such a scene. Relax and give her time to come around and give the apology she owes. If you pursue it, she will feel less like she owes one and that is a bad habbit for her to get into. You're future will be full of repeats of this scenario if she knows that she can continue this behavior. You must stand your ground and let her come to you. I''ve been in your shoesand seen it with other couples so many times. She will find someone else to embaress or apologize and respect you for not taking her childish crap.

the student · May 15, 2010

Also, no need to do something that you can't take back. If there is a possibility of a real future in this, it won't help if you are the guy who goes out and gets some strange everytime you two aren't speaking for a few days. Even if you do it once, she'll always remind you of it. Relax, go out have fun and chat with the ladies. If you two get past this you can show that you got by without her and that other ladie were interested in you. That will really get at her knowing that other classy women will take you if she isn't smart enough to keep you. Trust me. But you won't have anything to apologize for. You take the high road and still hold the chips.

BOOMSHAKER · May 15, 2010

Sounds like she enjoys her booze when she is out. However, "what did you do about it the first time you seen her get hammered"? Thought it was cute? Thought it was just a no biggie" what did you say to her the second time she did it? What did you think again about her now? Sounds like it happened a few times ad it was ok with you. BUT she came home drunk to your parents house and you didn't want your parents to find out that she's drunk and acting like a drunk! You drove her home and ropped her off cause you didnt want your parents finding out about her little booze problem. She then cuts you off from "facebook" of all places! Instead of calling and going over there, you send a childish/immature facebook message. And that's all facebook is, a way to talk to someone electronically rather then face to face. And now you wonder why she cut you off? Amazing!

At this point if her only problem is "drinking". Then she needs to seek help. She needs alchohol counceling. The fact that she does it here and there makes no difference. It's the amount of consumption at any given time. If I were you I would give her a little time. Get some flowers and GO OVER THERE! Tell her that you care about her but her AND her drinking. Now you cant ask her to stop if you're still taking her to bars and clubs. Understand? Tell her she needs some counceling and you are willing to go with her. Also let her know unless she is willing to get some counceling to help her drinking then you do not want to be a part of that life style. You guys are young. And this can only get worst as time goes on. If you have a relationship that is worth saving, then you have to show her major affection and support. As many folks on this board can tell you first hand. If you dont put a stop to it now, it will lead to far worst stuff in the future.

Good luck brother.