JETHRO TULL
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- Joined
- Jun 5, 2002
- Messages
- 8,484
TODAY I WAS DOING SOME UPPERCHEST ON THE SMITH MACHINE...I WORKED UP TO 3 45LB PLATES PER SIDE AND WAS GOING TO DO 3 WORK SETS THERE OF WHATEVER THE HELL REPS I COULD GET...SHOOTING FOR 10 SLOW ON THE WAY DOWN, PAUSE, SMOOTH PUSH TO JUST SHORT OF A LOCKOUT FLEXING THE PECS THE WHOLE TIME. THE SHIT WAS PRETTY. I AM BEING EXTRA CAREFUL ON MY FORM AND THE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT I AM USING BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ANOTHER INJURY. ANYWAY HERE IS THE STORY.
THIS BIG 'BUTTER BEAN' LOOKING GUY WHO IS A COUPLE INCHES TALLER THAN ME...MABEY 6'3 AND 330 COMES OVER AND IS WATCHING ME. THE GUY IS PROBABLY 70 POUNDS OF FAT HANGING OF A BODY WITH SOME MUSCLE UNDER THERE SOMEWHERE! HE'S WEARING TWO SWEATSHIRTS AND SPORTING A FOO MAN CHOO. HE'S WATCHING ME DO THOSE PRESSES AND SAYS...."GEEZ IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE FLEXING YOUR BACK MORE THAN YOUR CHEST". I JUST SMILED A LITTLE AND SAID...."YEAH, I AM PROBABLY DOING THEM WRONG".......THEN HE GETS DOWN ON THE MACHINE AFTER I STRIP OF A 100 LBS AND DOES ABOUT 5 REPS JUST TO SHOW ME HOW HE DOES THEM. KEEP IN MIND I AM A CHRISTIAN...SO I KEEP MY SELF HUMBLE ..I JUST NOD MY HEAD AND KEEP LIFTING. HE PROCEEDS TO SIT AND TELL ME WHAT A GREAT BOXER HE IS....I THEN STARTED DOING LATERAL RAISES ....10 REPS EACH SIDE WITH THE 40LB DUMBELLS AND I AM TELLING YOU MY FORM ON THESE IS PERFECT....NO MOMENTUM HERE..SLOW..UP...HOLD..SLOW DOWN...THUMBS TURNED SLIGHTLY DOWN..STOP THE LIFT WITH THE DUMBELLS AT JUST SHOULDER LEVEL....CONSTANT TENSION ON THOSE BITCHES....DELTS ARE ROUND AND SWOLLEN. THIS 'BIG GUY' THEN OFFERS THIS STUNNING TIDBIT OF TRAINING LORE..."WOW, I AM AMAZED THAT YOU HAVEN'T HURT YOUR SELF DOING THOSE LIKE THAT".......HE THEN SHOWS ME HIS VERSION WHICH LOOKS LIKE A BASTARDIZED VERSION OF DUMBELL UPRIGHT ROWS. I WAS WEARING A TANK AND SOME SHORTS...AND I AM NOTHING TO SHOUT ABOUT BUT I AM STILL OVER 270, NO DRUGS AND LOOK ONE HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN THIS FELLA. HE THEN THROWS UP THE DOUBLE BICEPS SHOT...HAT ON BACKWARDS, 2 SWEATSHIRTS ON, BLUE JEANS NEARLY HIDDEN BY HIS BIG ASSED GUT. I FIGURED HE'D OFFER FAT LOSS TIPS NEXT! JUST WHEN I THOUGHT IT WAS AS BAD AS IT COULD GET....THIS VERY ATTRACTIVE GIRL ...[A GIRL FRIEND OF ONE OF THE GUYS WHO WORKS AT THE GYM COUNTER COMES OVER AND STARTS ASKING ME SOME TRAINING QUESTIONS] SHE A NICE GIRL...NOT HITTING ON ME OR ANYTHING...JUST INNOCENTLY ASKING LIFTING QUESIONS. WELL, 'BIGMAN' CAN'T HANDLE THIS AND STARTS ANSWERING EACH QUESTION SHE'S ASKED OF ME...THE GIRL LOOKS AT ME LIKE..."WHAT THE HELL?"....I JUST SMILED AND WINKED AT HER. SHE GOT THE IDEA AND SAID WELL..I'LL COME TALK TO YOU LATER. HE MAKES THIS COMMENT TO HER BEFORE SHE LEAVES..."DAVE USED TO BIG BIG LIKE ME.....BUT NOW HE'S ALL DIETED DOWN AND SKINNY."
WELL, I'VE BEEN CALLED A LOT OF THINGS BUT SKINNY ISN'T ONE OF THEM FOR ABOUT 15 YEARS..LOL....
[LET ME MAKE NO BONES ABOUT THIS..I AM OFF SHIT AND FAT/SMALL RIGHT NOW..PLUS THIS GUY JUST MET ME..!!! ALL I KNOW IS HE SAID HIS NAME IS JERRY] HE THEN HOLLERS TO THE GUY AT THE FRONT DESK..."HEY, IT THAT WAS MY GIRLFRIEND I WOULDN'T LET HER ALONE OVER HERE..YOU'D BETTER PUT HER ON A LEASH, DUDE!"
GUYS...YOU KNOW YOU HAVE FALLEN TO A PATHETIC PHYSICAL CONDITION WHEN A GREAT BIG, BLOW HARD, ASSHOLE OFFERS YOU TRAINING ADVICE.
JUST THOUGHT I'D SHARE MY WONDERFUL DAY!
THIS BIG 'BUTTER BEAN' LOOKING GUY WHO IS A COUPLE INCHES TALLER THAN ME...MABEY 6'3 AND 330 COMES OVER AND IS WATCHING ME. THE GUY IS PROBABLY 70 POUNDS OF FAT HANGING OF A BODY WITH SOME MUSCLE UNDER THERE SOMEWHERE! HE'S WEARING TWO SWEATSHIRTS AND SPORTING A FOO MAN CHOO. HE'S WATCHING ME DO THOSE PRESSES AND SAYS...."GEEZ IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE FLEXING YOUR BACK MORE THAN YOUR CHEST". I JUST SMILED A LITTLE AND SAID...."YEAH, I AM PROBABLY DOING THEM WRONG".......THEN HE GETS DOWN ON THE MACHINE AFTER I STRIP OF A 100 LBS AND DOES ABOUT 5 REPS JUST TO SHOW ME HOW HE DOES THEM. KEEP IN MIND I AM A CHRISTIAN...SO I KEEP MY SELF HUMBLE ..I JUST NOD MY HEAD AND KEEP LIFTING. HE PROCEEDS TO SIT AND TELL ME WHAT A GREAT BOXER HE IS....I THEN STARTED DOING LATERAL RAISES ....10 REPS EACH SIDE WITH THE 40LB DUMBELLS AND I AM TELLING YOU MY FORM ON THESE IS PERFECT....NO MOMENTUM HERE..SLOW..UP...HOLD..SLOW DOWN...THUMBS TURNED SLIGHTLY DOWN..STOP THE LIFT WITH THE DUMBELLS AT JUST SHOULDER LEVEL....CONSTANT TENSION ON THOSE BITCHES....DELTS ARE ROUND AND SWOLLEN. THIS 'BIG GUY' THEN OFFERS THIS STUNNING TIDBIT OF TRAINING LORE..."WOW, I AM AMAZED THAT YOU HAVEN'T HURT YOUR SELF DOING THOSE LIKE THAT".......HE THEN SHOWS ME HIS VERSION WHICH LOOKS LIKE A BASTARDIZED VERSION OF DUMBELL UPRIGHT ROWS. I WAS WEARING A TANK AND SOME SHORTS...AND I AM NOTHING TO SHOUT ABOUT BUT I AM STILL OVER 270, NO DRUGS AND LOOK ONE HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN THIS FELLA. HE THEN THROWS UP THE DOUBLE BICEPS SHOT...HAT ON BACKWARDS, 2 SWEATSHIRTS ON, BLUE JEANS NEARLY HIDDEN BY HIS BIG ASSED GUT. I FIGURED HE'D OFFER FAT LOSS TIPS NEXT! JUST WHEN I THOUGHT IT WAS AS BAD AS IT COULD GET....THIS VERY ATTRACTIVE GIRL ...[A GIRL FRIEND OF ONE OF THE GUYS WHO WORKS AT THE GYM COUNTER COMES OVER AND STARTS ASKING ME SOME TRAINING QUESTIONS] SHE A NICE GIRL...NOT HITTING ON ME OR ANYTHING...JUST INNOCENTLY ASKING LIFTING QUESIONS. WELL, 'BIGMAN' CAN'T HANDLE THIS AND STARTS ANSWERING EACH QUESTION SHE'S ASKED OF ME...THE GIRL LOOKS AT ME LIKE..."WHAT THE HELL?"....I JUST SMILED AND WINKED AT HER. SHE GOT THE IDEA AND SAID WELL..I'LL COME TALK TO YOU LATER. HE MAKES THIS COMMENT TO HER BEFORE SHE LEAVES..."DAVE USED TO BIG BIG LIKE ME.....BUT NOW HE'S ALL DIETED DOWN AND SKINNY."
WELL, I'VE BEEN CALLED A LOT OF THINGS BUT SKINNY ISN'T ONE OF THEM FOR ABOUT 15 YEARS..LOL....
[LET ME MAKE NO BONES ABOUT THIS..I AM OFF SHIT AND FAT/SMALL RIGHT NOW..PLUS THIS GUY JUST MET ME..!!! ALL I KNOW IS HE SAID HIS NAME IS JERRY] HE THEN HOLLERS TO THE GUY AT THE FRONT DESK..."HEY, IT THAT WAS MY GIRLFRIEND I WOULDN'T LET HER ALONE OVER HERE..YOU'D BETTER PUT HER ON A LEASH, DUDE!"
GUYS...YOU KNOW YOU HAVE FALLEN TO A PATHETIC PHYSICAL CONDITION WHEN A GREAT BIG, BLOW HARD, ASSHOLE OFFERS YOU TRAINING ADVICE.
JUST THOUGHT I'D SHARE MY WONDERFUL DAY!