Leaving your family for another

[OxFuckedInTheAss]

I hate to say it, but this sounds like the classic "I want what I don't have" syndrome. Superficial things fade. I believe the problem lays within. Just my half a cent.


On a side note. Is the innocent party, really innocent himself?



OP

 

[OxFuckedInTheAss]

I've seen many of the guys I've known actually trade down. They tear their lives apart for a woman who is LESS than what they had in nearly every way.

So true, so true!. I think this has been going on since the dawn of time.


OP

 

[The Transformer]

Has anyone actually left their spouse and children for another? Does it ever work? If not how did you finally end the affair if your feelings were mutually strong. I'm talking about a great wife of 11 years, 2 young children - but then meeting your dream/fantasy person. Who is also married with 3 kids. She wants to end her marriage and for you to leave your family to be together. It went on for about 2.5 years. I ended it about 3 months ago, but she is still letting me know she is available. Of how we F**k up our lives. It's been tough to stay away. It's very much like an addiction.

stop being selfish, the fuck is wrong with you? that bitch is fuckin crazy and your bit by the love bug or cant stop following your dick. both make me sick.

11 years and now its time to trade her in?
2 kids?
think how thats going to effect "YOUR REAL BLOOD FAMILY"...

if its time for a divorce then do take the least line of emotional/mental resistance for your loved ones. dont pull some lifetime channel soap opera drama shit.

this whole post makes me shake my head, and cant believe i have to type something so negative. i really hope you reconsider what your contemplating and remove yourself from yourself and get outside looking in view of whats really going on, why and how it will effect everyone involved in the future. these type of things have a domino effect for future generations.

 

[triathloncoach]

Transformer

Uhhhhh......Thanks. I guess. Your future generations comment really rings true. I guess you're not the sugar-coat it kinda guy.

 

[jdavid1139]

This thread is why I will probably never get married... TC you got it all, and your banging the chick across the street... (sigh)

Anyways, this makes me think of a saying in college I came up with...

Question: What's better than PU$$Y?

Answer: New PU$$Y...

 

[triathloncoach]

Thanks everyone

Fantastic advice. I wish I was smart enough to follow it. 3+ years and still marching towards disaster.

 

[EVERLAST]

know thyself.....

Man...you need to back up and look long and hard at the waterhole before you try to wade in and cross to the other side....
why do you want her? Is she just plain hotter in the sack? Do you think it might be because she is sick of her husband and that ANYBODY but him is hot to her? Could it be that your wife is just the same ol' same ol' and this new one is just some "strange"?
Analyse the interactions between you two and see if this is something that would last?
Then there are the kids...yours... hers.
Is this what you want for them?

Also, since you are already getting with her the cheating aspect must not bother you, so....what is the advantage of divorce and remarriage to her?
Look at it cold and decide....You've been hittin it for three years and not caught? Nobody knows? So why destroy both families?
Wrong and selfish aside...what do you want?
Nasty divorce (theyre all nasty) or just keep cheating...
Why change it now?

Its really all up to you and what you want in your life...

 

[HeavyHitter2]

ok, I need to jump in here.. why is it so hard for people to conceive that sometimes people change? I mean, is it fair to his wife or himself that he stays in a marriage he is not happy in? for him to be hooking up with this other woman, there has to be something missing at home. PEROID! I'm going through something similar with my wife, wonderful woman, hard worker, makes great money, will do anything for me, but you know what? I don't love her the way that I did or should, so should I stay just because she's "wonderful" and does all these great things for me? NO! thats selfish. we all want different things from our relationships, so what one woman has to offer that you may think is great, It may not matter to me so much. different things make different people happy. my wife keeps telling me about all the good times we had together and so on, I understand what she is saying but unfortunately those memories are in the past and it's the future we need to be happy in, not the past. not to say they don't mean anything to me because they do, but ultimately, HE needs to do what makes HIM happy!

 

[EasyEJL]

ok, I need to jump in here.. why is it so hard for people to conceive that sometimes people change? I mean, is it fair to his wife or himself that he stays in a marriage he is not happy in? for him to be hooking up with this other woman, there has to be something missing at home. PEROID! I'm going through something similar with my wife, wonderful woman, hard worker, makes great money, will do anything for me, but you know what? I don't love her the way that I did or should, so should I stay just because she's "wonderful" and does all these great things for me? NO!

you are right. No you shouldn't stay with her because she's "wonderful" and does all these great things for you, you should stay with her because you promised you would. But i guess everyone today cares more about getting their dick wet, and feeling good for the moment, and personal integrity means nothing.

 

[HeavyHitter2]

This isn't about getting your dick wet, it's about a man straying from his wife because there is something lacking at home, and yes, communication is key when you think your needs aren't being met, no matter what they are. but I communicated with my wife and nothing changed. I've worked at the same strip club for 9 years and have been tempted MANY times by women who wanted to hook up with me, but I refused. BUT, one day, this one woman came along and it there was an instant attraction, sexual yes, but much more that just that. i'm not saying not to work at your marriage, you have to give it a chance to turn things around, but sometimes, it's just not possible no matter what we promise someone. my first wife left me for another man 15 years ago. was I hurt? absolutely! but you know what, she's happily married with 2 beautiful daughters, I'd much rather see her happy with him than miserable with me.

 

[EasyEJL]

To me that has always just sounded like a cheap excuse "sometimes, it's just not possible no matter what we promise someone." When you put more time and effort into bodybuilding (or name your hobby) than your relationship, its not a surprise the relationship doesn't work.

Its not much measure of a man how he acts when times are good, its how he acts when times aren't good that shows his true measure.

 

[jdavid1139]

This isn't about getting your dick wet, it's about a man straying from his wife because there is something lacking at home, and yes, communication is key when you think your needs aren't being met, no matter what they are. but I communicated with my wife and nothing changed. I've worked at the same strip club for 9 years and have been tempted MANY times by women who wanted to hook up with me, but I refused. BUT, one day, this one woman came along and it there was an instant attraction, sexual yes, but much more that just that. i'm not saying not to work at your marriage, you have to give it a chance to turn things around, but sometimes, it's just not possible no matter what we promise someone. my first wife left me for another man 15 years ago. was I hurt? absolutely! but you know what, she's happily married with 2 beautiful daughters, I'd much rather see her happy with him than miserable with me.

DAMN..... TC this dude is keeping it REAL......

 

[triathloncoach]

EasyQ

Just to know where you are coming from: Are you married? Kids? You are saying the right things, but life isn't black and white sometimes. IMO. Are you living the life I should be living? I wish I would follow your advice.

 

[jdavid1139]

To me that has always just sounded like a cheap excuse "sometimes, it's just not possible no matter what we promise someone." When you put more time and effort into bodybuilding (or name your hobby) than your relationship, its not a surprise the relationship doesn't work.

Its not much measure of a man how he acts when times are good, its how he acts when times aren't good that shows his true measure.

Damn.... TC this dude is keeping it REAL......

 

[jdavid1139]

Well... TC... This dude has about 0 experience but..... It makes sense.... Follow senseless advice.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[EasyEJL]

Just to know where you are coming from: Are you married? Kids? You are saying the right things, but life isn't black and white sometimes. IMO. Are you living the life I should be living? I wish I would follow your advice.

Married for almost 14 years now (2nd marriage, first wife left at about a year in) 3 kids. I know a woman who is closer to me mentally, grew up more similarly to me, closer to my age (my wife is 8 years younger) and from conversation is probably more sexually compatible with me. Plus she's 5'7, blonde, a marathon runner with fake boobs. Would I ever leave my wife for her? no. Would I ever end up in bed with her? No, but i go out to lunch with her a couple times a year, sms message with her, etc. But I realize the golden rule

**broken link removed**

And realize that inside that keeping my vow to my wife is more important to me, as there is no telling that things would be any better with her once the excitement of it being "forbidden" wears off.

 

[HeavyHitter2]

Its not much measure of a man how he acts when times are good, its how he acts when times aren't good that shows his true measure.[/QUOTE]

true! and as I said, I gave the effort, communicated with the wife and nothing changed! so where does one go from there? so if she's not willing to make the effort to make me happy, someone else will.

 

[EasyEJL]

You are the only one responsible for your happiness... the marriage vows don't normally mention that

To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.

I'm not trying to be judgemental, everyone has to make their own choices. As i said, i'm not sure that if I were to jump to the other woman that i wouldnt just feel the same way 6 months later anyhow as there are always problems, always stresses, always too much to do and too little time to do it.

 

[HeavyHitter2]

well, you shouldn't feel the same way in 6 months IF that woman truly makes you happy. yes we are responsible for our own happiness, which also means doing that which is necessary to be with the person that makes you happy!

 

[cjjrwe]

Well, it is a tough situation TC, and you will have to work it out. BTW, do not dismiss the husband, I know a guy who was screwing this "wimpy guys" wife...well, the wimp took a 44 mag and blew the other guys leg off, right after telling the smiling guy that he knew he was fucking his wife and did not appreciate it, really fucked the dude up, the guy who was shot never even pressed charges, called it an accident and promptly moved out of the state. The bottom line, people do crazy shit over women...you just never know how a person will react.