My life story. Depressed

[Dado5]

Ok here is my life story and I am totally lost and I don’t know what to do. It affects my everyday life, my trainings my work and all.
4 years ago I met this beautiful girl in front of starbuck.She was an oper (taking care of the kids and families in US).. We started dating and year after we got married. I had great time with her, we had great sex life and we were happy and doors opened for all my life dreams. Everything was fine until 6 months in to the marriage when she had to have dr. exam for her green card. That time my life crushed down, all doors I had open for great life suddenly closed and that was end of my happiness. She tested HIV positive. I didn’t know what to do, I was trying to make her feel better and calm her down and in the mean time I was thinking I am positive too as we had unprotected sex all the time. Dr. sent me to couple of tests and told me i may not be positive as her virus load was very very low at the time.
While I was waiting for results I wanted to kill myself if I tested positive. After 3 days of waiting results came negative… my whole world opened up but I didn’t know what to do now. I felt sorry for my wife and couldn’t leave her. Dr.s did more tests on me and said I may be one of the few that may be immune to the virus. But just to make sure I don’t get it I have to practice safe sex.
We are still married after 3,5 years of marriage. But every day I think that I can’t have kids and I can’t see future with my wife… She is Russian and I can’t leave her as she would have to go back to Russia and knowing their health clinics and doctors I don’t think she would have good care there.
All I am waiting now is for her to get green card and/or citizenship so she can stay in US and I would consider changing my life.. I didn’t tell her this yet.

Now another story:
5 months ago I met this beautiful 29 y old girl at the gym (I am 33 btw) and we kind a hooked up. She knows I am married and she knows I would leave my wife for her. But she has a boyfriend of 3 years and she is not sure if she wants to leave him. We had great time together, we had sex every day for 2 weeks and she tells me she loves me.
Now only problem is she needs more time to decide if she wants to stay with her boyfriend or not. Her BF is 24 y old.. He is young guy and not really secure.
This is the girl I could see myself in the future with, she says the same thing and then she mentions her boyfriend in between.
I am just getting frustrated with all situation and have no idea what to do. I told her I will wait for her .. But it’s just getting stressful thinking about it.
I have been depressed for last 2 months. It just sucks

What should i do......

 

[B1gJ1m]

Wow that's a tough spot to be in man. Don't take this wrong way, but I think the first thing you need to do is stop "hooking up" with other gals if you're married. Second, I think you need to be honest with yourself and your wife. You owe it to her to tell her how you feel and explain why you feel the way do. Not only do you need to ask yourself if you love your wife but if you are in love with her, they are very different as I'm sure you know. I understand that you don't her to go back to Russia but I really think you and her need to have a long converstaion about where you both are in your marriage and your lives. It may help to reach out to a professional for advice or couseling for both of you to deal with this difficult time. Maybe talking about it with a couselor will help reduce your depression and any anxiety you have about the situation. I wish you all the best.

 

[klowndog]

How long did you know the girl from the gym before you banged her?

Im not a fan of turning ho's into housewives, if she cheated on her man to be with you, she'll cheat on you with another man. Don't fall in love with her.

 

[alecaf]

I think you have been put in an extremely difficult situation. I can't give you a good advice on the situation itself since i can only imagine how hard it must be. All i can say is don't feel guilty for caring about your future.

 

[Designbuilt]

How long did you know the girl from the gym before you banged her?

Im not a fan of turning ho's into housewives, if she cheated on her man to be with you, she'll cheat on you with another man. Don't fall in love with her.

AGREE 1000% Once a cheat, always a cheat. Even if you supposedly "complete her" she will cheat, I've seen it before, Hell I had a girl cheat on me and I was supposedly the first ever to make her climax, but she cheated on me, because, (get this) She thought that I would cheat first!

I would have married her and still to this day think about her once in a while. But we became friends later and now there's no hard feelings, she told me that when she cheated on me and others it gave her a sense of control over men. That she "didn't feel so helpless"

But you are probably starting to fall for this girl because she is available and willing, and you are probably trying to get out of the marriage somehow. The only thing that I can suggest is that you be honest, your wife deserves that just as much as you deserve a healthy future and children.

Good luck,

DB

 

[bugaboo0]

How long did you know the girl from the gym before you banged her?

Im not a fan of turning ho's into housewives, if she cheated on her man to be with you, she'll cheat on you with another man. Don't fall in love with her.

Ditto! Have you been honest with her about your health situtation? I personally don't think you can "meet the girl of your dreams" after only being with them for a couple of weeks. Great sex doesn't last forever and when you are old all you have is each other and you better love them for who they are and not the sex.

 

[marilyn]

Dado5

Hi, I feel for what you're going through, but what I'm hearing is both selfish, and unselfish....You obviously care about your wife, but you want to live a happy life and have children, which is great. I agree with the others about talking to her about your feelings and seeing a counselor, it can really help. As for the other girl, well, she's not even sure she will leave her man....what does that tell you? Remember, she has a 3 yr boyfriend.....and she's not sure about him or you. I hope it works out for you.

 

[pesty4077]

Ok here is my life story and I am totally lost and I don’t know what to do. It affects my everyday life, my trainings my work and all.
4 years ago I met this beautiful girl in front of starbuck.She was an oper (taking care of the kids and families in US).. We started dating and year after we got married. I had great time with her, we had great sex life and we were happy and doors opened for all my life dreams. Everything was fine until 6 months in to the marriage when she had to have dr. exam for her green card. That time my life crushed down, all doors I had open for great life suddenly closed and that was end of my happiness. She tested HIV positive. I didn’t know what to do, I was trying to make her feel better and calm her down and in the mean time I was thinking I am positive too as we had unprotected sex all the time. Dr. sent me to couple of tests and told me i may not be positive as her virus load was very very low at the time.
While I was waiting for results I wanted to kill myself if I tested positive. After 3 days of waiting results came negative… my whole world opened up but I didn’t know what to do now. I felt sorry for my wife and couldn’t leave her. Dr.s did more tests on me and said I may be one of the few that may be immune to the virus. But just to make sure I don’t get it I have to practice safe sex.
We are still married after 3,5 years of marriage. But every day I think that I can’t have kids and I can’t see future with my wife… She is Russian and I can’t leave her as she would have to go back to Russia and knowing their health clinics and doctors I don’t think she would have good care there.
All I am waiting now is for her to get green card and/or citizenship so she can stay in US and I would consider changing my life.. I didn’t tell her this yet.

Now another story:
5 months ago I met this beautiful 29 y old girl at the gym (I am 33 btw) and we kind a hooked up. She knows I am married and she knows I would leave my wife for her. But she has a boyfriend of 3 years and she is not sure if she wants to leave him. We had great time together, we had sex every day for 2 weeks and she tells me she loves me.
Now only problem is she needs more time to decide if she wants to stay with her boyfriend or not. Her BF is 24 y old.. He is young guy and not really secure.
This is the girl I could see myself in the future with, she says the same thing and then she mentions her boyfriend in between.
I am just getting frustrated with all situation and have no idea what to do. I told her I will wait for her .. But it’s just getting stressful thinking about it.
I have been depressed for last 2 months. It just sucks

What should i do......

The problem about marriage vows, is that most of us hear through good times, but close our ears, when the they mention through the bad times. Love is unconditional and everlasting, you do not love her that much, first sign of trouble you broke your vows. It proves one thing, it is easier to run from trouble, than face it. I love my wife more than myself, I am her protector, her security blanket, she needs me. Your wife needs you now more than ever. Did you ever think about adoption? Plenty of children out there who need parents. Communication is the sucess in any marriage, you need to be honest with your wife. You got two choices, be with her every step of the way, or bail out of the marriage. I wish you the best in resolving this situation.

 

[PHIL HERNON]

BUT......

Once a cheater always a cheater correct? Who here is the cheater? Aren't you married to this gal? Ok, you made a mistake.......now is not the time to meet the "girl of your dreams"..........your dreams will change every year for a while............if you have an ounce of compassion for your wife try to understand and empathize with her situation.......this is what life is all about......not about hooking up with some dudes girlfriend because she is hot .........while your wife suffers at home. Your soul is hurting........this should remedy it

 

[Nssca]

Your a very immature, shallow little man.
If this girl you fucked for two weeks knew you where married and still "hooked up" with ya then she too is a scum fuck like yourself....
You deserve each other. If that's what you call your "Life Story" you haven't had much of a life.
Your pathetic.

 

[alecaf]

Your a very immature, shallow little man.
If this girl you fucked for two weeks knew you where married and still "hooked up" with ya then she too is a scum fuck like yourself....
You deserve each other. If that's what you call your "Life Story" you haven't had much of a life.
Your pathetic.

you know, this is actually what first came into my mind when i read his "life story", but i tried really hard to put myself in his shoes and all i can say is a i really can't imagine being in that situation. Obviously he doesn't trully love his wife. I think he should think about his future but he owes it her to tell her whats going on. And yes you should tell her.."sorry i dont love you anymore because you will die before me"

 

[Designbuilt]

You have to understand that she didn't get infected with HIV intentionally.

Having extra-marital affairs is something that you chose to do. You have to be honest with your wife and let her understand
how you feel and if you love her you would try to understand how she feels.

It's a tough situation, but agreed, now is not the time to find the girl of your dreams.

Hell if you want to stay married to her to help her out with her citizenship, you should at least tell her what the deal is. Just because she has HIV doesn't mean that she has no feelings.

I know it's tough on you, and you probably already made up your mind as to what you want to do and are just venting a little, no one can blame you for that, everyone has to vent sometime, you must feel lonely and scared, helpless, etc. But imagine having HIV on top of that.

Good luck,

 

[michelin]

You should tell your wife how you feel about not having kids instead of posting your problems to strangers on an Internet Forum.

Did your wife know she had HIV when she hooked up with you? If she did that gives you the OUT that you clearly want. If she didn't then you need to decide whether you really meant 'for better or for worse' when you married her.

This girl from the gym, does she know you have a wife who is HIV? and I think if she wasnt cheating with you she'd be cheating with someone else. Don't make her part of your future plans. She is tainted in my eyes. Shes giving you a good time behind her boyfs back, thats pretty low.

You need to spend some time on your own and work out what your priorities are and where your loyalties lie.

Good luck.

 

[njpooldude]

Your a very immature, shallow little man.
If this girl you fucked for two weeks knew you where married and still "hooked up" with ya then she too is a scum fuck like yourself....
You deserve each other. If that's what you call your "Life Story" you haven't had much of a life.
Your pathetic.

ya know.. even though this sounds harsh, but i agree with ROOSTER 100%.
Your bitching about your life, when your poor wife is home, with HIV and your out bangin some slut with a bf??

Im not married, but i am with the girl i plan to spend my life with.. Im a guy, like most of us, and yea.. i see VERY attractive women in the gym all the time, i own a pool business and trust me PLENTY of hot housewifes are around me all the time... have i thought about being "bad" ?? you bet your ass i have. But when i think about my girl at home, waiting for me to come home from work, with dinner made and my laundry done it breaks my heart that i even THOUGHT about another women... we all Fantasize once in a while.. we are human

i wish i could hug your wife and tell her everything will be ok...THATS what she needs....

sorry if i came off harsh but how the hell can u sit here and complain like YOU have it so bad?? your bangin some hot chick... while your wife is home suffering... god this thread makes me sick!

 

[njpooldude]

i do have to dis-agree with "once a cheat always a cheat" when i was younger... like 17-through 20 im 26 now... i used to cheat, and never get serious with a girl.... but things and ppl change.. i went through drug addiction and come out a new person. with new beliefs

If i could find the girls i hurt in the past i would tell them all how deeply sorry i am...

Im actually happy i did and went though what i did because it made me the awesome person i am today

i hope maybe this will bring out a BETTER side of you and u change your ways

 

[mooshue]

show me a super hot chick and ill show you a guy that's tired of fucking her.

Traumatic experiences make people do things they don't normally do. You have a traumatic experience where you thought you were going to die, now you aren't but your wife is. Instead of turning to drugs and alcohol like most do, you turn to pussy, pretty simple.

This chick is nothing more than a transition from your depression of your traumatic event. If you love your wife you will stay with her, this other chick will eventually fade off. If you can't live with your wife because she is HIV positive, then you need to leave, shes and adult she can handle it.

Whatever you do, don't stay with this other chick, it wont work because of the circumstances of which you are together.

 

[Designbuilt]

i do have to dis-agree with "once a cheat always a cheat" when i was younger... like 17-through 20 im 26 now... i used to cheat, and never get serious with a girl.... but things and ppl change.. i went through drug addiction and come out a new person. with new beliefs

If i could find the girls i hurt in the past i would tell them all how deeply sorry i am...

Im actually happy i did and went though what i did because it made me the awesome person i am today

i hope maybe this will bring out a BETTER side of you and u change your ways

Well maybe to an extent, but I still have the belief that there are some people who cheat and don't give it a second thought and feel little remorse when doing so, yet others are just not cheaters.

No matter what; I've known a few women (and men) who were that way to an extreme. It seems that they view cheating a completely different way than other people do. To them, I was told that no matter how much they hated their spouse it's a matter of self-worth, they felt as if they were too valuable to sleep with someone with out commitment and hurt the person that they either love and/or feel an obligation to.

Maybe it's a strange concept to understand by some of us, (I'm no saint, but I've never cheated on once I was married and I have plenty of opportunities).

I simply feel (me personally) that I just couldn't trust someone who cheated before (wether on me or a previous bf/spouse) and I knew about it, because I now see it as a possibility, but I'm not trying to impose my morality or beliefs on anyone and I suppose that I should have kept that comment to myself or found a way to express that it's only my opinion as I'm doing now.

But I have the right to feel the way that I do, because what I chose to do with my life and whom to trust is my business and completely up to me. In most religions one spouse is allowed to forgive the other of adultery if it is infact forgiven and never brought up again. So from a religious standpoint it can be forgiven but is an option and one that I wouldn't take.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

The problem about marriage vows, is that most of us hear through good times, but close our ears, when the they mention through the bad times. Love is unconditional and everlasting, you do not love her that much, first sign of trouble you broke your vows. It proves one thing, it is easier to run from trouble, than face it. I love my wife more than myself, I am her protector, her security blanket, she needs me. Your wife needs you now more than ever. Did you ever think about adoption? Plenty of children out there who need parents. Communication is the sucess in any marriage, you need to be honest with your wife. You got two choices, be with her every step of the way, or bail out of the marriage. I wish you the best in resolving this situation.

You may get 100 different reactions to your tale but this post that I've quoted is much the way I feel as well.

Questions: Does your wife know by what means she contracted the disease? Does your affair girl know that you are married to, and have sex (even protected sex) with an HIV+ individual?

I think if you had sex with a girl for a while and then she told after that she had protected sex with an HIV+ boyfriend, you'd be a little distraught do you think?

 

[Dado5]

Thanks for all the replies guys. And sorry if I made some of you mad with the things im doing and I said.
Even if I leave my wife I will be here for her to help her if she needs anything. I never ever hurt anyone before. We just lost that spark we had before and we lost love between us.
She has great job and great health insurance and I would make sure she is always taken care off.
Another thing, yes I made a mistake for hooking up with the girl at the gym, and yes it’s a bad thing and she has boyfriend. But I didn’t have any excitement and sex with wife in 6 months. We just lost that sexual feeling for each other..
I never thought it would come to this, but I want both of us to be happy. If we stay together we would be depressed and miserable all life. If we separate I will be fine but then I think about her being alone makes me feel bad and sad.

Also you guys are right once a cheater always a cheater. Girl from the gym told me last night that she is not ready to leave her boyfriend yet, she has plans for the next 6 months with him. Yes I was stupid and I regret hooking up with her now.

Thank you

 

[klowndog]

Dado, sounds like you still love your wife, you seem to feel sorry for her, but you love her out of pity at this point. It seems to be that in order to remain the upstanding man that you apparently are, you need to stick it out in her last few years.

Desire is the root of all evil. I have been in love so bad where it hurts before and later I found out that those feelings were just lust, and the reason I was feeling bad was because deep inside, I knew that this girl was not right for me, even though she was beautiful and looked good on my arm. You need to be strong, be a man, grab the bull by the horns and control the outcome of your life by doing the right thing , in all things that you do.

I understand you need to "fire the cannon" from time to time, and yes there are massage parlors out there that can give you a happy ending. If you must cheat do it in this manner, so as not to develop feelings for your fucktoys. If you develop feelings for women other than who you are commited until death.