my wife just left me

[cannibal]

i just got home from gym, and she told me she no longer loves me and is leaving me.
i dont know what to do, i just want to die, i cant live without her, she is my best friend, we were supposed to grow old and have beautiful babies together, now she is gone
this is the worst day of my life, i didnt see it coming, i thought we were so in love.

 

[hughesy]

Hang in there

i just got home from gym, and she told me she no longer loves me and is leaving me.
i dont know what to do, i just want to die, i cant live without her, she is my best friend, we were supposed to grow old and have beautiful babies together, now she is gone
this is the worst day of my life, i didnt see it coming, i thought we were so in love.

Bro, After being in the same place you are now a year ago I know nothing said will make your hurt go away. But just try to hang in there. Try to occupy your time with MIND consumming things. I would reccommend seeing a therapist, possibly getting some anti-depression meds if you start to feel depressed. And keep working out it will help. But most important talk to people, freinds, family, people on this board. Its a life changing thing but you can not let it comsume you, or it will eat away at you like a cancer. Read past posts in this section. There is alot of good advise on here. If you ever want to talk just PM me and I'll give ya my e-mail or cell #.

 

[cuz]

Bro, my parents got divorced a few years ago after 30 yrs of marriage. Needless to say my mother was devistated. She had to file for bankruptcy during this time due to other circumstances. She was very depressed and I didn't know what to do. Recently she reunited with a guy from highschool and they have been dating ever since. Now she is the happiest I've ever seen her. My point is things will get better. You have to believe that. I know your hurting but the only thing that will cure that is time. Hang in there. Keep yourself busy to keep your mind off of things.

 

[tdrose]

Try talking to her. Ask her why, do you and her spen alot of time apart? Do whatever it takes to try and save it, if possible. COMMUNICATE with her i didnt and it was almost too late. Luckily i changed in time. We are great.

Take her on a getaway immediately, few days alone might help. She must have loved you when you got married. Find out where it went wrong. Just talkk to her, no ego. Dont argue or fight. 1 chance.

Good luck.

 

[The Wolf]

The same thing happened to me 3 years ago, I was shocked, I didnt know that a woman could go so low. She was the one that used to threaten me of slitting her wrists if I ever left her and she was the one that finshed it off in the end. Some women, I just cant work them out.

Anyway, Im not just saying this but it turned out to be a real blessing indisguise, 2 years later I got married to a beautifull girl and she is totaly dedicated to me and we have such a strong chemistry. But I thought I could never love again, it took me more than 2 years to get over the pain and even when I first met my wife I was still not totaly healed but she made me forget the past.

I know its painfull bro, there have been times I needed to lock myself in my house and cry all by myself, but it will go away in time and you will be a stronger person.

Just learn from any mistakes(nobodys perfect) you did in the past and give yourself some time to heal.

Take care bro

 

[lynx]

Sorry to hear about your situtation.
Have you been drifting apart? Fighting? What happened? Could there be someone else?

 

[cannibal]

We have never fought, and up until yesterday I thought we had the perfect relationship. Every morning I would call her my princess, and each night I couldnt wait to see her.
We had been together six years, and never had a serious fight. We both had our independence, but did alot together as well.
Just last week we were talking about having a baby, and how beautiful it would be, as it was part of both of us.
She came back last night to talk, and told me she had been unhappy for a while, and didnt' love me anymore. I asked why she hadnt said anything, and why is she wasnt happy did she not say something. It was cruel to say she loves me if she doesnt.
She stayed last night, and said we can try again, I held her all night, but in the morning she got up and said its over
I cant understand it, she always knew I would do anything for her, she was my best friend.
Before we got married we promised each other it was forever as I hate divorce, and we would alwys be open and talk about ANYTHING.
But now it is all gone.
None of our friends can understand, as they all thought we were perfect.
I truley belived we were the happiest couple in the world, and no one loved each other as much as us. Now I got nothing.

Before yesterday, I was broke, in debt, a crap job, but the happiest man alive, now I am the saddest person in the world. Sometimes i wish i was just dead.

but what can i do, my one love doesnt love me anymore

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Cannibal,

You need to talk to someone. Very important. If you PM me, I may be able to suggest a good person in your area or make a few phone calls. This forum is not fully adequate for what you need right now. People do care and are eager to help you through this as most of us have been there.

You can see by the posts here that many people have been where you are.

We are all here for you but make sure you talk to a professional face to face. I wish I would have had a chance to get to know your situation better but even so, go talk to someone about it. We all need you on your feet so get yourself up and get it done.

While you're doing that, you can use this forum in any way you like. That's what it's here for.

 

[hughesy]

Cannibal,

You need to talk to someone. Very important. If you PM me, I may be able to suggest a good person in your area or make a few phone calls. This forum is not fully adequate for what you need right now. People do care and are eager to help you through this as most of us have been there.

You can see by the posts here that many people have been where you are.

We are all here for you but make sure you talk to a professional face to face. I wish I would have had a chance to get to know your situation better but even so, go talk to someone about it. We all need you on your feet so get yourself up and get it done.

While you're doing that, you can use this forum in any way you like. That's what it's here for.

I second this!!!!

 

[fsm]

After 18 years of marriage and two kids, my wife told me she never loved me! We were also the perfect couple. I felt like I was hit by a truck! It took time but I got over it. You have every right to feel depressed about it, but it isn't the end of the world. I wish you all the best in the future, and the best is out there waiting for you.

FSM

 

[cannibal]

I am heading back my my home country of New Zealand this morning, to spend time with my family, and my 20month old niece who I just adore.
At this point I dont think there is anyway to repair it, evrytime I think of how she looked me in the eye and said she doesnt love me anymore it tears out my heart. Even with councilling, I dont think I could ever put myself in the positon to have that happen to me again. I think I am better to have lost it, than ever have that happen again...once in a lifetime is too many times

I never thought this could happen, when I heard of other breakups, I always thought that it was because they werent meant to be, but ours was the best relationship ever, we always told each other we were the happiest and luckiest people in the world. She was my dream princess.

Deep down I know I am the one to blame, although I always loved her as best I can, we never argued seriously, and I have never done anything to hurt her. There is a part of my being that isn't normal, something that happened many years ago, I should have addressed years ago, but thought could supress it. Guess I thought wrong, and now its cost me everything. Pride sucks.

I will be off the boards for a week while away. It truely means alot to me to have complete strangers show support and care, I dont contribute alot to the board, as dont normally feel I have anything of value I could put forward, but everyone heres support has truely helped. In the real world I know alot of people, but have very few real friends, so everything helps alot.

 

[gtj220]

Don't hesitate to seek help from a professional, nothing to be ashamed of at all. And it will help. It will also help to understand that YOU did nothing wrong and that it's she who probably has some internal demons that she can't cope with. Some people aren't wired for happiness. But you are! Good Luck!!!

 

[OuchThatHurts]

I am heading back my my home country of New Zealand this morning, to spend time with my family, and my 20month old niece who I just adore.
At this point I dont think there is anyway to repair it, evrytime I think of how she looked me in the eye and said she doesnt love me anymore it tears out my heart. Even with councilling, I dont think I could ever put myself in the positon to have that happen to me again. I think I am better to have lost it, than ever have that happen again...once in a lifetime is too many times

I never thought this could happen, when I heard of other breakups, I always thought that it was because they werent meant to be, but ours was the best relationship ever, we always told each other we were the happiest and luckiest people in the world. She was my dream princess.

Deep down I know I am the one to blame, although I always loved her as best I can, we never argued seriously, and I have never done anything to hurt her. There is a part of my being that isn't normal, something that happened many years ago, I should have addressed years ago, but thought could supress it. Guess I thought wrong, and now its cost me everything. Pride sucks.

I will be off the boards for a week while away. It truely means alot to me to have complete strangers show support and care, I dont contribute alot to the board, as dont normally feel I have anything of value I could put forward, but everyone heres support has truely helped. In the real world I know alot of people, but have very few real friends, so everything helps alot.

Well NZ is a beautiful place. Do some scuba diving, get out, be among family and friends. regardless of what you think now, you WILL move on. It will take some time. I still urge you to talk with someone. A good person can help you stay in a positive direction, even if it feels negative at the time, and help you avoid destructive behavior.

Very, very, best wishes to you. It's a long flight, have a safe one. give us a shout whenever you can, okay? BTW, you don't look like a cannibal but you don't live too far away from some.

 

[badass]

Chin Up

This happens to more people than you would believe - i myself found out that my youngest daughter wasn't mine after raising her for 2 years, i also found out that my wife was having an affair for 5 years......I loved her dearly but the love wasn't returned, i was to wrapped up in work to see the love deminish but if your wife will not stand by you she is not for you.....I thought my life was a waste opf time and space, my kids were gone along with everything i worked for, what did i do.......anyway a very wise person told me this ( my dad ) you can never judge true happiness until you have been truly unhappy......Man i feel for you i know how you feel.......use this sadness to drive you to be truly happy.

I am now in a relationship where my partner has shown me what a loving relationship is.....she stands beside me and is my rock for support. i can achieve anything with her behind me... Live for the future don't dwell on the past.

Good luck,

and keep talking it will keep your sanity........

 

[JustWannaBeHuge]

my man, I know what you're going through. I just went through this several months ago, it's been almost a year soon. trust me when I say I know the pain you're feeling. we were together for a little over 6 and a half yrs, a child, and were finally about to be married before everything went to hell. She was my best friend, my rock, she helped me keep my sanity when I needed help with that, someone that knew EVERYTHING bout me, and when I needed her the most, she turned her back on me.

I know how it feels to want to just go to sleep to end the pain, but that is never the answer my friend, trust me when I say this, the pain will end, just give it time and let yourself heal. Don't go looking for another girl, whether to make the ex jealous or to "fill" the void in your heart. It never works out when that happens.

The pain you're feeling my friend is temporary, it will slowly begin to fade.... and in time, you'll wonder why you even hurt at all. There are plenty of great guys and girls on this board, which is the reason why I love coming here, and Big A created this forum to help out those in need, use it to your advantage and let it all out brother, no one in here judges. Get the shit off your chest, just like I was told, if you need to scream, then scream, let it out man, but then realize, that the days do go on, and you have a very bright future ahead of yourself.

Don't give up!
Rob
btw, like the Dr said, it never hurts to talk to a professional. I never went to a pro thoughtout all my years and I just sorta "walked through life", but last yr I did finally go and speak to a professional, after I was speaking with Sig for awhile, I decided to actually go and speak to someone face to face. and along with the greta people here, and the counselor, I was able to start putting my life back on track. nothing at all wrong with it. thats why they have that job, to help people when you need an outlet and can't get everything out. Seeing a professional won't hurt you in anyway, so it can only help you. With saying that, what have you got to lose?

 

[StoryOfTheYear]

Hope everything goes well for you man. Take care of yourself and try and have fun and socialize and have a few drinks. -StOrY-

 

[The Wolf]

I am heading back my my home country of New Zealand this morning, to spend time with my family, and my 20month old niece who I just adore.
At this point I dont think there is anyway to repair it, evrytime I think of how she looked me in the eye and said she doesnt love me anymore it tears out my heart. Even with councilling, I dont think I could ever put myself in the positon to have that happen to me again. I think I am better to have lost it, than ever have that happen again...once in a lifetime is too many times

I never thought this could happen, when I heard of other breakups, I always thought that it was because they werent meant to be, but ours was the best relationship ever, we always told each other we were the happiest and luckiest people in the world. She was my dream princess.

Deep down I know I am the one to blame, although I always loved her as best I can, we never argued seriously, and I have never done anything to hurt her. There is a part of my being that isn't normal, something that happened many years ago, I should have addressed years ago, but thought could supress it. Guess I thought wrong, and now its cost me everything. Pride sucks.

I will be off the boards for a week while away. It truely means alot to me to have complete strangers show support and care, I dont contribute alot to the board, as dont normally feel I have anything of value I could put forward, but everyone heres support has truely helped. In the real world I know alot of people, but have very few real friends, so everything helps alot.

Ok bro, just chill no matter what you do. Like someone said dont rush to fill the void in your heart. It took me 2 years and beleive me 2 years is a prison sentence so prepare to go through hell. But you can do it, and trust me there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Just have a look at yourself and no matter how perfect as a couple you thought you were, within time you will also notice the cracks that were in the relationship or the cracks that were in her.

I loved my ex so much I couldnt ever think of life without her but...

She hated me bodybuilding, she said that I was obsessed with it, my new wife sometimes even trains with me and she does my injections too and she knows more about the juice than I do, lol!

My ex used to go mad and even cry just because I done a fart, My new wife finds it amusing when I do a fart and giggles.

My ex had a jealosy problem, my new wife is compltely relaxed and trusts me.

My ex was messy around the house, didnt cook, my new wife is "do it all".

My ex was influence by her friends, my new wife knows who number 1 is.

Look bro, no matter what I or anybody else says aint gonna make you feel better but just take it from somebody that has been through what you have. I have been through that and one day you will understand where Im comming from.

Just remember one thing, we came to this world alone and we are going to leave this world alone.

All the best

 

[cannibal]

She is gone for good now.
I have finally accepted that I have some serious problems in my head.
I have had dark thoughts for so long, and although I have never intentionally hurt her, for the last few months I have withdrawn from her. I told her I loved her, but had such bad thoughts in my head about myself, she felt lonely and unloved for too long.
I love her so much, and what hurts me more than losing her, is the fact that rather than ask her for help, I withdrew, and left her out. I hurt her, and she cant understand why I wouldnt have talked to her, instead of pushing her away. I hate knowing I made her feel unloved.

I went to the Doc this morning and she has put me on some anti depressants to help with the immediate problems, and given my a psych referral to start rebuilding myself.

As much as I am destoyed by losing her now, I do feel a little better knowing I have taken the first step to shaking the darkness that has weighed me down for so many years.

 

[Big_O]

Celexa is a wonderfull thing...I'm on it and my life is on the rebound for sure...

 

[OuchThatHurts]

She is gone for good now.
I have finally accepted that I have some serious problems in my head.
I have had dark thoughts for so long, and although I have never intentionally hurt her, for the last few months I have withdrawn from her. I told her I loved her, but had such bad thoughts in my head about myself, she felt lonely and unloved for too long.
I love her so much, and what hurts me more than losing her, is the fact that rather than ask her for help, I withdrew, and left her out. I hurt her, and she cant understand why I wouldnt have talked to her, instead of pushing her away. I hate knowing I made her feel unloved.

I went to the Doc this morning and she has put me on some anti depressants to help with the immediate problems, and given my a psych referral to start rebuilding myself.

As much as I am destoyed by losing her now, I do feel a little better knowing I have taken the first step to shaking the darkness that has weighed me down for so many years.

I have complete confidence that within a few months, your life is going to be much more wide open than you can remember...

Wish you the best and keep up posted. You should notice some immediate results from the medication but longer term (6-8 months) you'll start to really see a big difference.

Better days ahead for sure.