O/T - Can't seem to be happy in any relationship

[johnjuanb1]

Hey my brother JackedRabbit! Hows it going for you? I hope you are gaining wisdom and understanding concerning relationships and truly loving others unconditionally. If you don't mind, keep us updated on your "journey".

Thank you and God bless!

Unconditional love is the key to being happy in a relationship. It's hard as hell to love someone unconditionally. It takes a lot of patience, understanding, and selflessness. The person must be your best friend first and foremost in order to feel this way, in my opinion.

 

[little slice]

Unconditional love is the key to being happy in a relationship. It's hard as hell to love someone unconditionally. It takes a lot of patience, understanding, and selflessness. The person must be your best friend first and foremost in order to feel this way, in my opinion.

not your own child tho

 

[sma]

What's up guys. Kinda off topic but need some advice or insight from older guys here who have been through more than me. I'm 31.

Let me just say that I've only had 3 serious girlfriends in my life. One for 6 years, another for 3 and now my current one for 2 (so far).

Each one, I always blow it or end it. These are pretty, smart, and nice girls. Hard working, pays their share, takes care of me, cooks, cleans, puts up with bodybuilding, etc... But I always get sick of them and I break it off and move on.

When I "move on", I always get deeper into BB, more lonely. I go through tons of hook ups and first and second dates with tons of randoms. One year it was 30 girls.. and then I find a good one and it all starts over again.

I'm getting this urge to do it to my current gf.. to break it off and go on another search.. I dunno why I'm like this. Seems like I'm incapable of relationships.

Any of you bros like this too?

you shouldnt be in a relationship until you are able to give yourself to that person 100%.

ask your self if its the day of your show and your gf is in an accident and on her way to the hospital what do you choose? go on stage or go to the airport catch the next flight and be by her side as soon as possible?

if you even have to think about it for 1 second your not in love with her. because i guarantee you if your dad or mom was in that situation you would be on your way to the airport before you even heard the story.

i was a selfish guy still am, only when i learned to truly give my self did i find love and trust me its a crazy beuatiful thing that will drive you crazy but once you find it youll never want to live without it. but thats another chapter

 

[b_cornelius]

Hey my PM brother, let me offer you some advice if you don't mind. This worlds view or idea of what love is, is totally twisted and wrong. The worlds idea of love is based on "feelings" rather than a true kinda love that is unconditional and not based on someones attributes, talents, or performance or what someone has done or what they have to offer. We can't be controlled or motivated by feelings or impulses because they are almost always based on our own selfishness or fleshly desires of self gratification.
For example, some days you might "feel" like your "in love" with someone and the next day you don't. Our worlds idea and everything that's been ingrained in us through TV, Hollywood etc tells us that we can just "fall" in and out of love depending on how we feel. Love isn't a little red devil that goes around shooting his love arrows at people randomly. Sounds silly, but that's how we've been taught to love others. This isn't the way that God intended it to be. God created marriage, not man. Adam didn't know he was alone or what a woman or wife was but God saw mans need and the beautiful relationship that a husband(man) and wife(woman) could/would share and have together as they grow closer and live and function more as "one flesh" as they share all of themselves with each other as they grow together. This is true love and the way God designed it to be.
I encourage you to ask God for wisdom and for you to open your heart to him so he can show you the way that you should go in every part of your life. God is love and he loves and cares for everything about you. If you haven't done so already I pray that you will ask Jesus Christ to be the Lord of your life and receive his free gift of salvation. No one comes to God the Father except through Jesus.
Some very helpful teachings that I've read are from Andrew Wommack are in his teaching articles section. I highly recommend "As I Have Loved You"; "Gods Kind of Love In Marriage"; and "Gods Kind of Love". By reading and learning from these you will better be able to love someone and decide who is the right mate for you.
I hope this helps you. Take it from someone who had and needed to learn these truths also.

And as the world is going to hell, so many people have the authority to speak for Jesus.

 

[chinaboy]

OP -- im in similar shoes as you. Similar age too. I dont think i will ever get married as I see some friends get divorced and other cheat. I do have friends who are happily married since a young age. I wonder if Ill ever find "the one". I think its ok to be single or keep searching until you truly find the real deal.

Im in a long relationship, 10 years, yet still wont get married. Like other say, when you know, you know. I say dont rush it. Dont listen to the idiots that tell you to get married when you arent ready. Idk what elae to say but Im in the same boat and feel a person should feel its right before making a hige life changing desision without really feeling it.

 

[kingpeon]

And as the world is going to hell, so many people have the authority to speak for Jesus.

He's not speaking for Jesus. He's spreading the truth of Holy Scripture, which all true Christians are commanded by God to do.

 

[b_cornelius]

He's not speaking for Jesus. He's spreading the truth of Holy Scripture, which all true Christians are commanded by God to do.

Everyone already knows of Christianity. Other people already did the hard work.

But you are special too..

 

[Phidias]

Unconditional love is the key to being happy in a relationship. It's hard as hell to love someone unconditionally. It takes a lot of patience, understanding, and selflessness. The person must be your best friend first and foremost in order to feel this way, in my opinion.

Is there such thing as "unconditional love"?

Love is just a momentary feeling, maybe slightly stronger than the kind of emotion you can expereience watching a touching movie or hearing a heartbreaking story, but ONLY the expression of a precise state of mind at some point... otherwise, how could this so called sacred feeling mutate into anger or hate so fast when things start to go downhill between two "inseparables"? And btw, if it was so unconditional, how could it even degrade... ever? It would last till infinity without any questioning or reconsideration...

No, love is definitely something else, the certainty of having faith in one another, but above all on your own ability to devote yourself endlessly to your partner's cause without ever asking yourself WHY... simply for deep inside you know he/she's your soulmate. But that's where absolutely everybody thinking he'd be lost or his life would go to trash if that said person should disappear from the picture is only fooling himself... you can actually do feel that kind of REAL emotion and indeed be sincere to your heart... just like it will only take AN INSTANT to bring down the house of cards.

And then wondering how in the hell you've been so blind and able to lie to yourself for so much time... :naughty:

 

[JW87]

Gear most certainly plays tricks on your mind, for me it has done in the past. You can have phases where you think someone is the best thing in the world and then a few weeks later they do your head in. Quite often it seems like the grass is always greener but that isn't the case most of the time. If you remove any thinking with your dick from the equation you probably won't have any issues lol.

Someone mentioned about not being on gear and not having as many issues, this again for me couldn't be truer. Its a mind fuck if you aren't mentally strong enough.

 

[jbrayley]

I just turned 40, and just separated from my partner. I have been feeling like this for the past 5 years.

 

[jackedrabbit]

Sorry to hear that bro ^^ ... I hope that doesn't happen to me.

People talk about "you just know it" but for me, it's so hard to imagine that happening. In today's dating world with Tinder and all these hook ups it seems like my generation and the one behind it are walled up and almost immune to being vulnerable because we have so many choices.

Anyway, to the guys who gave the hypothetical situation about competing at a show versus being there for family or a loved one, I'd forget the show in a heartbeat for my parents or brother. I can't say that too often for girls I've dated. This current one, I would be there for her though.

 

[sma]

Sorry to hear that bro ^^ ... I hope that doesn't happen to me.

People talk about "you just know it" but for me, it's so hard to imagine that happening. In today's dating world with Tinder and all these hook ups it seems like my generation and the one behind it are walled up and almost immune to being vulnerable because we have so many choices.

Anyway, to the guys who gave the hypothetical situation about competing at a show versus being there for family or a loved one, I'd forget the show in a heartbeat for my parents or brother. I can't say that too often for girls I've dated. This current one, I would be there for her though.

thats what it takes sometimes a serious situation for you to put in perspective how much they mean to you. Its scary, it makes you feel volnerable proabably why we as men have a hard time doing it until we break up sometimes. Hopefully some of these suggestions helped you to realized what it is she means to you.

 

[Fehoister]

Its funny because I was just thinking of posting something similar the other day. I just cant seem to stay in a happy relationship. I get bored or feel like im forcing myself to play along just for the girls benefit. My question to all the guys saying just have fun, how do you do that and not feel bad wen the girls all grow attached? Its like i find a chick to bang and chill with and then she wants more and im constantly hurting them so I try to break it off, but then complicate it more with false hopes wen i get horned up and wanna get my rocks off haha tis a vicious cycle...

 

[little slice]

Its funny because I was just thinking of posting something similar the other day. I just cant seem to stay in a happy relationship. I get bored or feel like im forcing myself to play along just for the girls benefit. My question to all the guys saying just have fun, how do you do that and not feel bad wen the girls all grow attached? Its like i find a chick to bang and chill with and then she wants more and im constantly hurting them so I try to break it off, but then complicate it more with false hopes wen i get horned up and wanna get my rocks off haha tis a vicious cycle...

IMO, you should make your intentions with the girls abundantly clear from the get-go so they know where they stand.

if they are looking for a fling/non-serious relationship, then they know that's what they will get.

if they are looking for commitment and a white picket fence, they'll know to look elsewhere.

 

[sma]

IMO, you should make your intentions with the girls abundantly clear from the get-go so they know where they stand.

if they are looking for a fling/non-serious relationship, then they know that's what they will get.

if they are looking for commitment and a white picket fence, they'll know to look elsewhere.

i knew this was a woman posting lol nothing wrong with that i just now know why we were butting heads

 

[jackedrabbit]

The problem is that if you tell a girl you just want to bang it turns them off and you won't get anything. They want the truth as if they would consider it, but if you say those words, it's buh bye.

That's why you gotta play along. At least wait until a few dates and you build some rapport, then you can build up SOME trust and be honest with your delivery. That's how I do it and it works.

But yeah, being single and banging other girls sounds pretty good right now.

 

[snp711]

It's tough to balance work , family , friends and a relationship if you're a young ambitious male . I've kept most relationships at a safe distance because , like many who've answered , it's just not my priority at the moment. I've also stayed in some out of convenience as they were willing to deal with the long hours , traveling and gym time , but when push comes to shove I moved on focusing more on other aspects of life .

Although I'm a few years younger , I no longer waste my time with women I can't see any kind of future with . That's not to say you can't enjoy each others company , but it's foolish to progress a relationship further ( exclusivity , moving in , etc..) . Getting this arrangement is all about rapport and delivery. Take it or leave it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[jackedrabbit]

Just wanted to update this thread -

So I moved out of the apartment where my gf and I were at since our lease was up in Sept. anyway. She renewed it, and now I am back at my parents' house temporarily until I find a new place.

I do feel more free now that I am on my own, and I still see my gf 2-3 times a week. It's better with more space.

However, an added twist to this - there's this new girl who has expressed interest in me and last weekend we went out for dinner. Nothing happened, but the convo and general time with her was so compelling that I am seeing her again this week.

I haven't done anything physical with this girl (I know she wants to) but this is leading down a bad path. I have to tell my gf and break up with her but at the same time I'm still not sure. So I guess I've been keeping this new friend in the dark...

I keep asking myself, "if i loved my gf and wanted to marry her" would I be looking? Would I be "compelled" to date other women?

The thing is this girl competes and is really into fitness unlike my gf. I don't know her personality yet, but so far so good. Makes me wonder what is more important - shared interests or compatible personalities.

It's getting messy bros. My head is all over the place.

 

[HeavyWeight2000]

look into MGTOW

IMO life is way too short to give a F what women think..want..like..need..care..feel..etc

I only need 1 thing from women... There is one good thing about them and the rest negative....

I prefer to be completely honest and just pay them for the part I want.

Charlie Sheen knows best when he said...You don't pay for sex...you pay them to leave afterwards...

If you feel that you need validation from a woman than what you really need is a shrink
If you need companionship get some friends or a dog.

 

[little slice]

look into MGTOW

IMO life is way too short to give a F what women think..want..like..need..care..feel..etc

I only need 1 thing from women... There is one good thing about them and the rest negative....

I prefer to be completely honest and just pay them for the part I want.

Charlie Sheen knows best when he said...You don't pay for sex...you pay them to leave afterwards...

If you feel that you need validation from a woman than what you really need is a shrink
If you need companionship get some friends or a dog.

so edgy