O/T OMG worst ball story ever

[GoneForever]

So, i've thought i've heard a few bad ones in my day. Old buddy of mine was a prison gaurd and some child molestor was raped by 3 dudes, then they reached behind him, grabbed his sack and just crushed it. Guy had to go on hormone meds and everything. So, today im training this old due who faught in Nam. He's telling me stories,etc.. and said one of the guys hooked up with some prostitue over there. Got a bj for about 5min, then pulled her pants down and BAMMMMM Shanghi suprise sitting right there. The old due told me his buddy was a pretty big dude too. He started freaking out and grabbed this trannys junk. Were talking all of it. Balls,sack,dick, all of it. And just started pulling and ripping it. Took like 3 hard tugs and just ripped everything off. The tranny immediately passed out and they all bailed. I guess one of the guys ratted him out later and he was discharged and some other shit happened. Anyway, I almost puked when I heard that. It must go down in history as the most pain ever created to a human.

 

[grumpy69]

OMG! I dont know what I would do if I looked down and saw a package on a "girl". I would prob just cry.

 

[bigbadasian]

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HAHAHAHA! shit thats some 'Hostel' shit! the one about the prison is great...good..that sick fucker deserved it. but the war story one ....yucky! when i was bouncing back in iowa few years ago, our bar was the biggest on campus and we would always get the football team in there acting all cool....well this big defensive end was always talking smack and thought he was gods great gift to earth and girls....well one night he was mackin' on this black chick who was pretty tall and had a nice body, face was not too great, but when your drunk anyone looks good, well i caught then making out in the back of the bar, then i looked at the girl a little closer and remembered taht she was the tranny that my other bouncer buddies told me about....so i told the rest of the guys NOT to say a THING...we wanted to play it out....towards the end of the night i stopped him and said s'thing to the effect that he was lucky and hope he nailed her, he assured him he would get the job done....we all stood by the front doors at the end of the night and watched him leave with her/him hand in hand...hahahahaha! should we have warned him?

 

[bigbadasian]

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OMG! I dont know what I would do if I looked down and saw a package on a "girl". I would prob just cry.

i would fall to the ground and pretend like i died. if i dont move the she-male will think i died and leave.

 

[BALDNAZI]

Haaaaaaaaaa

All great stories, I enjoy demented shit like that. The child molestor deserves every second of pain.

BBA, you did a great job not saying anything, that is just hilarious!! A friend of mine when we were teenagers and just got our licenses had a funny incident. We all went out one night and at the end went cruising for hookers down by the docks in Brooklyn to get a BJ (we were young fucking idiots, what can you say) Well he picks up this nasty bitch that I swear was a tranny (bad skin,fake tits,weird frame for a girl AND a deep voice) and we all get out of the car so he can get his piece. LOL, to this day he denies that she was a guy, but I swear there is no way it wasnt. Afterall, he went for a crotch grab he said during the "process" and she/it pushed his hand away !!!! Hahaha thats a sign right there boys,LOL

 

[grumpy69]

i would fall to the ground and pretend like i died. if i dont move the she-male will think i died and leave.

HAHAHAHA yea I would pretned to play dead too. You know those she-males have deceptive tranny strength.

 

[iron fist]

HAHAHAHA yea I would pretned to play dead too. You know those she-males have deceptive tranny strength.

How do you know this? LOL

 

[thebrick]

...the funny part was after he pulled off that dude's dick, he threw it out into the road where a car was passing. The dick bounced off the windshield and the driver shouted to the his passenger "Did you see that??!! That bug had the biggest dick I have ever seen!!" (Oh wait! that's the Lorena Bobbit joke )

 

[GoneForever]

God, I can't imagine the pain for either one of those two. Yes child molestor deserved it for sure, but man thats a painful way to go out. I took my belt off once really fast and it swung around my waiste and hit me there and I was on the floor for like 10min and threw up. I though life was over. I cant imagine a grown man squeezing until they crush. Omg, im getting sick again.

 

[bigrig]

LOL gonna be nervous next time at gym??

A jury awarded nearly $1 million to an Ohio man who says he has endured years of pain and must walk bowlegged after his left testicle was struck by a broken weight machine bar at an athletic club.

"I can barely walk, let alone run. There's a constant throbbing of pain. I mean, it's my testicle. That's a very uncomfortable spot to feel pain," said Jason Houston, 25, adding that sex is tenuous following the February 2004 injury at a local YWCA.

Houston, who won the $953,700 award on Monday, was lifting about 68kg on a leg extension machine when a cable broke. That caused a centre steel rod with an adjusting ball to swing 180 degrees into his groin.

Houston has been receiving treatment for pain since. A nerve pain blocker was installed but that has not corrected all the pain.

"It's a horrendous injury. Everyone who hears his story just kind of winces," Houston's lawyer said.

 

[bigbadasian]

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God, I can't imagine the pain for either one of those two. Yes child molestor deserved it for sure, but man thats a painful way to go out. I took my belt off once really fast and it swung around my waiste and hit me there and I was on the floor for like 10min and threw up. I though life was over. I cant imagine a grown man squeezing until they crush. Omg, im getting sick again.

i was caught cheating once and instead of slapping me, my girl hauled off and punted me in the nuts...i acutally cried.

 

[Blitzkrieg]

A jury awarded nearly $1 million to an Ohio man who says he has endured years of pain and must walk bowlegged after his left testicle was struck by a broken weight machine bar at an athletic club.

One day recently I was climbing up onto the chinup rack thing with a plate chained around my waist, and the chain caught me at just the right (or wrong) angle and pinched the hell out of the "little general". It was all I could do to keep from dropping my sweats right there to check for damage

And I dunno... re: that dude and the tranny... IMO if your paying for some tang in Shanghai you better be ready for anything. He should consider himself lucky all he got was some extra equipment and not some funky STD

 

[gassy]

There is a story I heard where in HS gym class a guy is walking out of the shower naked, his buddy cracks him in the nuts with rolled up towel and splits his sac wide open. I thought my friends were dicks.

 

[Nytol]

All great stories, I enjoy demented shit like that. The child molestor deserves every second of pain.

Absolutely!

Some eye watering stories there,

 

[swervedriver]

I could actually care less what happened to the child molester... That piece of shit deserved what he got... In fact if someone is convicted of molesting a child they should be immediately castrated because (listen to me carefully) they CANNOT be rehabilitated... Hence repeat offenders!! They are sick fucks!!
I witnessed this guy at a lake one time putting his boat in the water... He had backed the trailer down into the water and was trying to push the boat off of the trailer and into the water, but it would not budge... So he stands on the tongue of the trailer straddling the part that sticks up, which holds the wench... Well he pushed really hard one time and his feet slipped and he ended up doing a split on the piece holding the wench... Needless to say he fell on the ground crying... We went over to see if he was ok, and when we looked his pants were split open and so was his sack... He was bleeding horribly and in and out of conciousness.... A friend of his told us later he had to have surgery on his testicles...

 

[skookum]

I have a buddy that had a horrendous bicycle accident and required 47 stitches to close up his ball sack. Damn handlebars got him real good...

 

[GoneForever]

The ballsack getting split open wouldnt be that bad. Just some stiches. Now haveing an actual testicle get crushed and unravled, now thats just crazy. I'd rather have my eye removed.

 

[the_warrior]

Nothing quite as gruesome as described above, but I have managed to jeopardize my junk twice in the gym:

1) I was doing dumbell laterals and managed to "clink" myself between them. I was wimpering like a kicked dog right there in front of the dumbbell rack

2) First time I tried to do t-bar rows. I didn't set the v handel up correctly and I didn't put a weight on the other side of the bar. Guess what? In the middle of my set, the handle slipped towards me, 45's started falling off and the bar swung up and tagged me right between the legs. Interestingly, it didn't hurt that much, but I don't think I have ever been more embarrassed.

 

[sup]

One day recently I was climbing up onto the chinup rack thing with a plate chained around my waist, and the chain caught me at just the right (or wrong) angle and pinched the hell out of the "little general". It was all I could do to keep from dropping my sweats right there to check for damage

OMFG.. yeah doing dips with plates scares the shit out of me every time.

on the other hand.. really fricking good motivation not to cheat and swing

 

[terryd5150]

Yup, it's official...

My Saturday night sucks.

I'm sitting here reading a thread about horrific testicle injuries.