I am not able to quote your post to me Mrs. Q, only because im posting from my android cel now, but im happy if i was able to give even an drop of positivity to your grief. Thank you as well for offering your condolances for my brother, at the time i lived at home, and there was nothing more devastating than being awaken by hearing my parents cry in the other room. I wouldnt wish this upon my wickedest enemy. Mrs. Q, i am happy to share, what got me through this difficult time, was,my faith, prayer, and knowing EXACTLY where he is....in a much better place. Like i said, i am "nobody" on this board, but if and when your ready, my door is open to you to PM me anytime you wish, i would love to share with you what my Mom for example did to help her somewhat "deal" with such a shocking and unexpected passing. Years later, i did some of what she did and it helped me in more ways than one. I will be happy to provide these "materials", or rather.....information, on me. If at the very least will put your mind in a more positive place, and it might help you rest and be reassured he is happier where he is. This I DO know. You and your family will continue to be in my prayers, as well as his ftiends here on Pro Muscle, which are so many. Please remember, my PM is open to you anytime, no conditions or obligations. God bless you and your family. Addams29