Why live if you don't want to.

[Geoffke]

That's something I keep asking myself, every day a little more.
Since the last year it keeps getting worse, lost my girlfriend,
lost my best friend, dropped out of school the last year...
Bodybuilding was the only thing that made me happy, but
I feel like I'm losing the race.
I'm 23 and I don't come out of the house much more,
I don't go to my friends anymore, I just want to be alone all the time.
And this makes me even more sad en lonely.
I have great parents and I have it good at home, but
everyday I feel like shit and I just don't want it anymore.
I would be happy, if I could close my eyes and get to sleep forever.
So I wouldn't feel the hurt that I feel every day.
But I don't want to make my father sad, because I know he won't get over it
and his life will be ruined also.
I just don't know what to do.,

 

[Rob Roy]

Suicide is a permenant solution to a TEMPOARY problem!

Look Bro, If you love your parents as much as you say you do then through these actions you would just condem your parents into a life so much more miserable than what you're feeling at the moment. So, if you wish the worst upon your folks for the rest of thier lives... You really need to open up and communicate with someone about your problems. Seek professional help please, if not for yourself than for the sake of your parents. I'm no physchiatrist nor am I a preacher but I believe that those who commit suicide shall live a life lost like a zombie through eternity. If you've never watched the movie What Dreams May Come w/ Robbin Williams, Go Get It Today! This is a hard post to reply to but I can't see someone missing out on all of the wonderful things in this world.

 

[Geoffke]

Thanks

 

[Rob Roy]

Make the call!

Thanks

Don't thank me. Be thankful for what positivity that you do have in your life and stop focusing on the negative. When you shift your paradigm like this thinks will apear so much more clear. Do me a favor. Pick up the phone call your parents, be a man and tell them how much you do appreciate and love them. A man can speak his feelings without hestation. Make the call.

 

[Geoffke]

I'm not a person who can talk over feelings.
I just don't do it
On the internet I can, but not in real life.
You are right , that I should focus more on the positive things.
Maybe the clomid I'm using is making it worse, it's since then
I feel really depressed.
Oh well, tomorow a new day and maybe it gets better.
Thank you for listening and giving me advice.

 

[massmonster32]

I hope you feel better Geoffke I know personally how feeling like this seems easier. But hang in their if things are as bad a they seem they can only get better that is what I keep telling myself. Its hard very hard try to keep your self busy. Say your prayers god heals and listens to all. MM

 

[flexmaster]

diversify your life...

there is way way WAY more to life than bodybuilding. if i were you, i would try and catch up with some old friends...and get out and do something. do you have a job or anything? i've noticed that it's when i have nothing going on in my life that i seem to get all down on myself about various things...but when im busy, and going out and having fun, i never even think about things that bug me.

edit, also...dont ever even think about suicide. it's the most selfish thing a person can do IMHO...cowards commit suicide bro. like RR said, talk it out with someone...

 

[Xanthine]

Maybe the clomid I'm using is making it worse, it's since then
I feel really depressed.

Mate, you don't know me...I'm a Mod on the Aussie Corner at Anabolex.com.
I know nothing of your life but that part of your post caught my eye.

The last two times I used Clomid I wanted to end my life.

In years past, before that,I just had mood swings whilst on it...but the last two times were just incredibly bad.

I had a lot going on in my life and am prone to depression. But each time, as soon as I stopped Clomid, I began to "get a grip".

Get off clomid now.
I believe there are some of us who just shouldn't use it.

I don't even bother with PCT these days with cycles less than 16 weeks.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Mate, you don't know me...I'm a Mod on the Aussie Corner at Anabolex.com.
I know nothing of your life but that part of your post caught my eye.

The last two times I used Clomid I wanted to end my life.

In years past, before that,I just had mood swings whilst on it...but the last two times were just incredibly bad.

I had a lot going on in my life and am prone to depression. But each time, as soon as I stopped Clomid, I began to "get a grip".

Get off clomid now.
I believe there are some of us who just shouldn't use it.

I don't even bother with PCT these days with cycles less than 16 weeks.

On that note Geoffe, get the **** off that clomid NOW!!! I mean today!

...and why do we go on living? We go on because even in misery we still walk toward that light at the end of the tunnel with full hope that better days lie ahead and, in fact, they certainly do. Wow. 23. You have the next 70 years (50 if you do anadrol) to learn what life can REALLY dump on you! Seriously, get off that medication, and see a doc. Can you talk to a doctor? If you tell him what you initially posted, you can get some relief until this is all sorted out. And listen to the advice above... all GOOD stuff!

 

[smokeybair]

please, ride it out. it will get better. it always does. believe me i have been there many of times. i am now on three different depression meds and have finally found the right meds and doses that work for me. please see a psychiaritrast (spelling). and if you are drinking alcohol or other rec. drugs stop. and if the clomid has anything to do with it, stop that too. you will not know unless you stop. but, it will pass and you will feel better soon. please get help if you can.

 

[Geoffke]

there is way way WAY more to life than bodybuilding. if i were you, i would try and catch up with some old friends...and get out and do something. do you have a job or anything? i've noticed that it's when i have nothing going on in my life that i seem to get all down on myself about various things...but when im busy, and going out and having fun, i never even think about things that bug me.

edit, also...dont ever even think about suicide. it's the most selfish thing a person can do IMHO...cowards commit suicide bro. like RR said, talk it out with someone...

I have nothing to do, because I lost my job. And it's since then it's worse.
You are right about being busy, that helps a lot.
But mostly I'm not in the mood for being busy, it's like a circle, I'm gonna
go back to school maybe, have a good education and have a good job.
Maybe that will make things better.

 

[Geoffke]

please, ride it out. it will get better. it always does. believe me i have been there many of times. i am now on three different depression meds and have finally found the right meds and doses that work for me. please see a psychiaritrast (spelling). and if you are drinking alcohol or other rec. drugs stop. and if the clomid has anything to do with it, stop that too. you will not know unless you stop. but, it will pass and you will feel better soon. please get help if you can.

Thanks for the advice ,
I appreciate it

 

[Geoffke]

On that note Geoffe, get the **** off that clomid NOW!!! I mean today!

...and why do we go on living? We go on because even in misery we still walk toward that light at the end of the tunnel with full hope that better days lie ahead and, in fact, they certainly do. Wow. 23. You have the next 70 years (50 if you do anadrol) to learn what life can REALLY dump on you! Seriously, get off that medication, and see a doc. Can you talk to a doctor? If you tell him what you initially posted, you can get some relief until this is all sorted out. And listen to the advice above... all GOOD stuff!

I thought about this also, that better days lie ahaed me.
If you are on the bottom of a well, then you can only go up I guess

 

[GymDudeVA]

Get to a doctor a.s.a.p. If you don't think what he has to offer helps, go to another one, then another. Hate to say it, but you are sick just like being physically sick. You need to get help. It won't just go away. Your parents sound great, so you may want to let them in on how you are feeling.

 

[BHarper]

I know this is my first post here, but the topic looked important. I've been around for years and have seen posts like this. I have felt the same way. I've been in a very similar situation. It has all fallen around the same time I've taken clomid as well .

From my past experiences (I'm almost 27 now) Clomid makes things SEEM much worse than they are. I'm sure you've heard the saying "when it rains, it pours" as well. Bad things always seem to happen all together for me as well. I think it might be depression in general that makes you dwell on the negative.

It wasn't easy for me to talk to a counselor at first, but once you do, it get easier each time. You need to find one that you feel comfortable with and one that gives you feedback. It is important that you can get feedback because my first counselor just listened to me for 10 sessions and never really said much of anything. It seemed to me like a venting session (which isn't what I needed). You want someone who will make you think about your issues, ask you questions that will make you dig deep inside for what the answer REALLY is. If you can't see it, they will suggest possible causes/reasons for actions/feelings. If you don' t get this type of interaction, find someone else to talk to!!!

I started seeing one after 5 friends (all within 2 years age of me) died in a 7 month period of time. After that, My roommate and best friend tried to kill himself and I found him and took him to the hospital. This along with breaking up with my fiancee was enough to push me almost over the edge. You asked "Why live if you don't want to?" All i can say is, have you ever been to a funeral? Let alone a funeral of someone you REALLY loved or were close to? My friends were all 21-25. That was truely heartbreaking going to those. I never saw so many "MEN" cry. I felt I had to hold it back, but I couldn't. I felt it almost wasn't fair not to cry. All of these deaths were accidental or unforseen medical conditions.

Suicide is selfish and leaves everyone around you without closure, empty, sick, feeling void confused, depressed, feeling guilty, angry and completely miserable. That is why it is illegal (probably more than those above). I felt all of those when my room mate tried. It still blows my mind. 3 years later, I was in his wedding and it was one of the happiest days of my life! I couldn't imagine not being able to see it or him not being around...

if you have any questions or need to talk, I've been through a lot. Everything above plus my own medical issues, legal issues, girl problems, parents... you name it. I feel like a poster child sometime, or an after-school special, LOL. But I'm happy now and have changed the way I look at things when I'm depressed. There's a lot of things (even little things) that can be done to make your life more fulfilling and happy. Take care bro and LMK if you need to talk.

 

[Geoffke]

Thanks for your input

 

[wostok]

hey... go parachuting, it will be a huge kick... maybe you will feel the eager of life for maybe just a minute... but then you will at least get to remember the taste of life again. you need changes... if you just train and then sit at home it will just get worse... you need something to live for... a new interest!... motorcycle racing? martial arts? rugby? its like... your young you can still start a new sport and get good at it! you just need to find your thing man! a man need something to do and get better at... and having goals... only bodybuilding can work for some, but its like... its training 3 hours a week and then just eating... a lot of people need more then that... something that gives them a kick... and that is exactly what you need!

plus... if you dont get better and still want to kill yourself... go parachuting! you know when you jump out you can have your suicidal thoughts and having plans of jump to die and not release the chute... but believe me when your flying there in the air you will feel shitscared of dying and save yourself. Parachuteing is like suicede with a life line. And then maybe you realise its not death your eager for... its life! not the life your living now... but a life filled with action and funny shit!

 

[OuchThatHurts]

...then maybe you realise its not death your eager for... its life! not the life your living now... but a life filled with action and funny shit!

Grammar aside, one of the most astute sentences I've read on this board to date... Superb.

 

[amse]

whats the meaning of life?...why are we here?...why get up in the morning?...why carry on?...


to have fun!...milk every last drop of it from every day...suicide? lol youre gonna die anyway so dont leave the game in the 1st quater if your team is not winning...

 

[Vander_V]

I have nothing to do, because I lost my job. And it's since then it's worse.
You are right about being busy, that helps a lot.
But mostly I'm not in the mood for being busy, it's like a circle, I'm gonna
go back to school maybe, have a good education and have a good job.
Maybe that will make things better.

#1 Get out of your house, I dont care if its just walking the dog or going for a ride in your car just get out , maybe go eat somewhere or shop for something of interest just make sure you get out.

#2 Wake up early and limit your sleep , sleeping is a weapon of depression.

#3 take care of yourself , maybe go get a massage or hair cut tanning whatever , but take sometime to do something that makes you feel better about your appearance , even a new shirt or jeans ect.

#4 get yourself involved socially , evev if it means taking a job a Mc Donalds , interact with humans daily , If you cant seem to get this far then sign yourself up for a class , maybe a class about depression, they have tons of them with people just like you and they all talk about there problems , talking and communicating is key, even if you have to pay 20 bucks a class 1-2x a week something inside of you will feel better once you walk out of that class each time.