pimpman
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Man I'm not going to say its good new because you go through it.but it's great new to know I'm not alone and thought I was going crazy.by thinking it was a problem with test.but I can see it isI know exactly what you mean. I've gone through the exact same experience with crushing anxiety and depression. Last summer was the worst.
I've spent most of the last 28 years using 400-500mg of testosterone per week, along with other compounds rotated in, with good experiences and very few problems. But to make a complicated long story short, last year at this time I ended up with gyno after using Tren, which got worse after I dropped DHT compounds (Proviron, Masteron), and the gyno got much worse after I tried Trestolone. I dropped everything to just 200mg of Test Cyp per week and tried to fight the gyno with Nolvadex and Raloxifene.
At first, I thought the depression and anxiety I was feeling was because of the SERM's (Nolva and Ralox.) But even after I dropped them and continued on 200mg Test, I felt miserable and anxious and my OCD symptoms went through the roof. For over three months I was horribly depressed and the anxiety was terrible, I was jumping out of my own skin. Finally in August I went back to using 400mg per week of Test, and almost immediately I felt much better, and the gyno did not recur. Went up to 600mg of Test, and I was downright happy, with much less anxiety, and the gyno still didn't come back.
Since then, I have stayed on at least 400mg of Test per week, and while I have other side effects, the depression and anxiety and OCD symptoms have never come back as bad as they did last summer. The only way I felt better was to increase the dose.
I think after a long time at a certain dose, your body and your mind just get used to that level of stimulation, and you don't feel well when you drop the dose. At least for me, that has been the case. Maybe the answer is to keep the dose low, and just get on an anti-depressant and anxiety medication. But when I look at all the negative side effects of the SSRI's and SNRI's and tri-cyclic anti-depressants, I have to think that maybe I am better off just sticking with testosterone.
I wish I had better news for you, but this has been my experience.