Do you put your physique before women?

[maldorf]

I wouldnt want to be with a woman who wants a $700 wallet tbh..

When Robin Williams started out in standup he used to joke about a wallet made from elephant foreskin. When you rub it, it gets bigger!

 

[AllLoadedUp]

For example you have a hot chick that wants you to hang out with her Saturday night, do you get fucked up with her drinking shots, eating pizza, staying up until 5 am fucking and missing your workout the next day? Or do you stay in Saturday night?

There is also the financial side. Right now my 22 year old sidepiece is insisting I buy her a $700 gucci wallet. I want to get her something nice since she got a 3.8 and just graduated, but fuck $700 on a fucking wallet? Only in LA.

Am I the only one here who had no idea a FUCKING WALLET could cost $700? WTF.

 

[AllLoadedUp]

OP you said she keeps coming around when you treat her like shit. Well next time she comes over just say to her "Remember that wallet I said I would buy you. Well guess what I'm not buying you shit". That should do it. Problem solved.

 

[Beti ona]

All of us here are slaves of our bodies, why some also want to be slaves of women? Fuck!

 

[dale338]

The best women out there want your time and attention and nothing else. A good woman will make you want to do things for her because she doesn't expect it and appreciates it when you do.

I've literally dated women, who were beautiful and still down to earth and all they wanted was my attention. they are far and few between these days, but you can find them. I can't stand plastic, stuck up, gold digging fake women. Those women have always gotten far less out of me than the ones who ask for nothing and give themselves to you. I have often just toyed with gold digging bitches in the past.

 

[FK86]

Right now my 22 year old sidepiece

I hope your wife or girlfriend leaves you. You sound like a fucking loser.

 

[AVelasques911]

First off this post reeks of subtle bragging left and right, but in reality just comes off as taking bodybuilding to the point where it's an eating disorder/psychiatric disorder and a very skewed view of relationships.

But to answer, fuck no. For starters I wouldn't even hang around with someone who wanted a $100 wallet, much less 700.

As far as my training, I kill it 3 days a week for about an hour and a half and I'm DONE for the week. I eat intuitively, meaning I don't count a thing and probably only eat about 1500 calories and maybe 75 grams of protein a day. Been doing this for years, but I'm still a decent size, my neck is 19 inches, chest 46, waist 30.... and at least a few times a week people come up to me at the store etc. to stop me and comment on my physique (subtle brag!). So, I barely work out, I eat like a bird and I'm NOT shredded or huge but I stand out enough that people constantly take notice.

Years ago I was far more obsessed. Then I realized, you know, spending time with family, with a partner, with people I care about is FAR more enriching than sitting at home weighing food on a scale (eating disorder! If you feel anxiety or worry over not being to get your macros in, I'm telling you, you've got an eating disorder, Body Dysmorphia, or are bordering on developing one).

But it's moderation too. I don't stay out til 6 A.M., I don't drink, and I don't stuff myself with food. I might go out, have one small drink, maybe a slice of pizza or something and then I come home around midnight or so.

It's this all or nothing thinking that worries me. Ya know, either I'm at home all day weighting my chicken and getting 10 hours of sleep OR I'm out all night drinking and hooking up with random women....... there's a middle ground that some of you younger guys (and a few older ones) don't seem to get.

 

[Beti ona]

First off this post reeks of subtle bragging left and right, but in reality just comes off as taking bodybuilding to the point where it's an eating disorder/psychiatric disorder and a very skewed view of relationships.

But to answer, fuck no. For starters I wouldn't even hang around with someone who wanted a $100 wallet, much less 700.

As far as my training, I kill it 3 days a week for about an hour and a half and I'm DONE for the week. I eat intuitively, meaning I don't count a thing and probably only eat about 1500 calories and maybe 75 grams of protein a day. Been doing this for years, but I'm still a decent size, my neck is 19 inches, chest 46, waist 30.... and at least a few times a week people come up to me at the store etc. to stop me and comment on my physique (subtle brag!). So, I barely work out, I eat like a bird and I'm NOT shredded or huge but I stand out enough that people constantly take notice.

Years ago I was far more obsessed. Then I realized, you know, spending time with family, with a partner, with people I care about is FAR more enriching than sitting at home weighing food on a scale (eating disorder! If you feel anxiety or worry over not being to get your macros in, I'm telling you, you've got an eating disorder, Body Dysmorphia, or are bordering on developing one).

But it's moderation too. I don't stay out til 6 A.M., I don't drink, and I don't stuff myself with food. I might go out, have one small drink, maybe a slice of pizza or something and then I come home around midnight or so.

It's this all or nothing thinking that worries me. Ya know, either I'm at home all day weighting my chicken and getting 10 hours of sleep OR I'm out all night drinking and hooking up with random women....... there's a middle ground that some of you younger guys (and a few older ones) don't seem to get.

This shit its not for all people, is life of monk in certain way.

But weighing food does not mean any eating disorder. You are also in a forum when a lot of people: are pro, aspiring to be pro, national level competitors or recreational athletes who want to look at his best.

So save your advices.

 

[maldorf]

First off this post reeks of subtle bragging left and right, but in reality just comes off as taking bodybuilding to the point where it's an eating disorder/psychiatric disorder and a very skewed view of relationships.

But to answer, fuck no. For starters I wouldn't even hang around with someone who wanted a $100 wallet, much less 700.

As far as my training, I kill it 3 days a week for about an hour and a half and I'm DONE for the week. I eat intuitively, meaning I don't count a thing and probably only eat about 1500 calories and maybe 75 grams of protein a day. Been doing this for years, but I'm still a decent size, my neck is 19 inches, chest 46, waist 30.... and at least a few times a week people come up to me at the store etc. to stop me and comment on my physique (subtle brag!). So, I barely work out, I eat like a bird and I'm NOT shredded or huge but I stand out enough that people constantly take notice.

Years ago I was far more obsessed. Then I realized, you know, spending time with family, with a partner, with people I care about is FAR more enriching than sitting at home weighing food on a scale (eating disorder! If you feel anxiety or worry over not being to get your macros in, I'm telling you, you've got an eating disorder, Body Dysmorphia, or are bordering on developing one).

But it's moderation too. I don't stay out til 6 A.M., I don't drink, and I don't stuff myself with food. I might go out, have one small drink, maybe a slice of pizza or something and then I come home around midnight or so.

It's this all or nothing thinking that worries me. Ya know, either I'm at home all day weighting my chicken and getting 10 hours of sleep OR I'm out all night drinking and hooking up with random women....... there's a middle ground that some of you younger guys (and a few older ones) don't seem to get.

For me it took a life altering event, my heart attack, for me to learn some of the things you just mentioned. Was a hard lesson.

Something happen to you or was it just age and having lived the extreme bodybuilding lifestyle long enough? I had my heart attack at age 38, hadn't come to realization yet by then.

 

[Cito33189]

[/B]

Honestly not to offend you but you sound like you don't have experience with high class women in LA, NYC, Miami etc. Because this is the exact mentality I had when I was like 20 Please go find the hottest chick you can find in LA, tell me how jacked the guy she is with I bet he doesn't even work out. This is coming from a bodybuilder... I've posted my pics on here Im a big lean guy, I know what its like for women to fuck you because of your physique. But I'm not naive enough to think that money doesn't make your life with women easier or open doors that a broke guy doesn't have.

Perfect example.... About a year ago I had two hot italian girls that wanted a threesome with me when I was in Long Island. Gorgeous. We were talking and I wanted to fly these bitches out to LA so I could fuck them for a week and put them in a hotel. But they were little college chicks, I didn't have 5k to blow on two bitches for a week.

At the end of the day we are all being used man. Women don't want you for you, only about what you can do for them. Sex, money, or both. And a chick will rather fuck the jacked guy but she will end up fucking that rich guy with a small dick that doesn't work out too because she's gotta pay her rent at some point and likes that range rover.

Hahahahaha dude i fell off the toilet reading this. So your telling me you thibk high class women use men? Your confusing looks and fake tits for class. Go out with a doctor or a lawyer. You sound dumb as fuck. High class is how you conduct yourself and treat other people. Clearly you have no experience with high class women who dont need a man in there life for anything except companionship

 

[AVelasques911]

This shit its not for all people, is life of monk in certain way.

But weighing food does not mean any eating disorder. You are also in a forum when a lot of people: are pro, aspiring to be pro, national level competitors or recreational athletes who want to look at his best.

So save your advices.

Well, I'm posting a reply to a question asked on a public forum. So some of the advices will be what you want to hear, and some will be what you don't want to hear. That's just the nature of having an open, public discussion.

I have no issue with someone making a career out of bodybuilding/modeling or any sport requiring strict attention to weight categories weighing food. Most people aren't, and even if they are, there's not a whole lot of longevity in it and once you feel emotions like "fear" when thinking about food, you're entering eating-disorder territory. You've got guys that get down to 5% and have no fear that after the show/photoshoot, they'll hover back around 12%, THAT is a healthy mindset.

My biggest issue is when I hear phrases like "you got a hot chick that wants to get fucked up" "$700 wallet" ..... when I hear that I think of people taking duck-faced, filtered selfies and chasing instagram followers all day. I think attention-seeking, and ultimately I think zero self-esteem and zero-depth. But hey, more power to ya.

 

[AVelasques911]

For me it took a life altering event, my heart attack, for me to learn some of the things you just mentioned. Was a hard lesson.

Something happen to you or was it just age and having lived the extreme bodybuilding lifestyle long enough? I had my heart attack at age 38, hadn't come to realization yet by then.

It was a realization of, ok, I'm putting X amount of time and effort into something and it's costing me how much time that I could be out having fun, reading books, going bike riding, practicing rock climbing, going on road trips to rock concerts and getting tossed around in moshpits..... I just realized I wanted to be far more three-dimensional. Fitness will always be a part of my life, but so will other things and some days those other things will take priority. If there's a three day music festival I want to go to, I'm going to be eating cheeseburgers and whatever they serve and my focus is on being in the moment, on enjoying the music, not on being there and thinking about how many grams of protein I've eaten. I'm not going to lose two decades of consistent work over a few days off a month. But I AM making gains, I'm gaining awesome memories and experiences.

A huge influence for me was Dorian Yates and how much he's changed.

My life is SO much better now. Nobody gives a shit if I'm not single digit body fat, or if I look a little flat, or whatever, they care that were are out laughing until our sides hurt, having fun, enjoying life and being a fun person to be around. I still look above average and get comments all the time, because maintaining is fairly easy, but if I didn't, I wouldn't care.

I'm all for bodybuilding. The scary part for me is when any negative emotion, such as fear, gets attached to it. Going out with a beautiful woman and missing a workout should not have you thinking about "losing gains", going for bike rides with your kids should not have you thinking "my legs are going to lose 1/2 an inch"..... people can twist that however they want, it's not a healthy mindset.

 

[little slice]

reading books.

lol gay

 

[Beti ona]

It was a realization of, ok, I'm putting X amount of time and effort into something and it's costing me how much time that I could be out having fun, reading books, going bike riding, practicing rock climbing, going on road trips to rock concerts and getting tossed around in moshpits..... I just realized I wanted to be far more three-dimensional. Fitness will always be a part of my life, but so will other things and some days those other things will take priority. If there's a three day music festival I want to go to, I'm going to be eating cheeseburgers and whatever they serve and my focus is on being in the moment, on enjoying the music, not on being there and thinking about how many grams of protein I've eaten. I'm not going to lose two decades of consistent work over a few days off a month. But I AM making gains, I'm gaining awesome memories and experiences.

A huge influence for me was Dorian Yates and how much he's changed.

My life is SO much better now. Nobody gives a shit if I'm not single digit body fat, or if I look a little flat, or whatever, they care that were are out laughing until our sides hurt, having fun, enjoying life and being a fun person to be around. I still look above average and get comments all the time, because maintaining is fairly easy, but if I didn't, I wouldn't care.

I'm all for bodybuilding. The scary part for me is when any negative emotion, such as fear, gets attached to it. Going out with a beautiful woman and missing a workout should not have you thinking about "losing gains", going for bike rides with your kids should not have you thinking "my legs are going to lose 1/2 an inch"..... people can twist that however they want, it's not a healthy mindset.

You can read books as a bodybuilder, read forums, scientific documents (not just about nutrition or drugs).

Some people are well practicing only a sport or activity, other people need more activities. None is better or more healthy than the other.

Some people do not like people and prefer to be lonely, bodybuilding is a good activity for these people. Other people need more sociability, crosfit or MMA are good for these people.

Some people love control and the routine, I love weighing my meals. Other people love freedom, variety in their food and do not want to hear about dieting.

Dorian is a great thinker, and can be an example for many bodybuilders identified with an unsustainable look without damaging health. But Lee Labrada is also a great example, he continues to lift weights and enjoying life, he does not seem to be doing other activities such as climbing or riding a bike.

 

[maldorf]

You can read books as a bodybuilder, read forums, scientific documents (not just about nutrition or drugs).

Some people are well practicing only a sport or activity, other people need more activities. None is better or more healthy than the other.

Some people do not like people and prefer to be lonely, bodybuilding is a good activity for these people. Other people need more sociability, crosfit or MMA are good for these people.

Some people love control and the routine, I love weighing my meals. Other people love freedom, variety in their food and do not want to hear about dieting.

Dorian is a great thinker, and can be an example for many bodybuilders identified with an unsustainable look without damaging health. But Lee Labrada is also a great example, he continues to lift weights and enjoying life, he does not seem to be doing other activities such as climbing or riding a bike.

I think the point he was trying to make is not that bodybuilders don't do as many activities because they don't desire to, but rather because they feel that doing those other things might hurt their growth/gains. Some might have a girl invite them along on a hour or so bike ride and the guy will turn it down because he doesn't want to burn too many calories, might burn up some muscle for energy. A girl or buddies might invite him out for a few drinks and dancing but he feels he cant because alcohol will hurt his gains and he needs his sleep to grow. The bodybuilder might actually want to do those things but he is denying himself the pleasure because he thinks it will hurt his bodybuilding. Some see that as being tough and disciplined, but when you get older you often see it as just watching life go by. You miss out on so much. Its a choice you make in the end.

Some bodybuilders like you say may be loaners and just want to be alone and do things solo etc. They may not desire to do those things I mentioned, and in that case they are being true to themselves and not missing out on anything I suppose. A lot of guys though I think deny themselves simple pleasures, and that is a shame.

 

[deadliftsquates]

The best women out there want your time and attention and nothing else. A good woman will make you want to do things for her because she doesn't expect it and appreciates it when you do.

I've literally dated women, who were beautiful and still down to earth and all they wanted was my attention. they are far and few between these days, but you can find them. I can't stand plastic, stuck up, gold digging fake women. Those women have always gotten far less out of me than the ones who ask for nothing and give themselves to you. I have often just toyed with gold digging bitches in the past.

They are out there. My last three girlfriends have been some of the best people I have ever met. For one reason or another it didn't work out but it was not due to any fault of theirs. I think that the issues happen with younger women. I wouldn't go below 35 ever now. And women today take care of themselves. $0 year old women can and do look amazing.

 

[Beti ona]

I think the point he was trying to make is not that bodybuilders don't do as many activities because they don't desire to, but rather because they feel that doing those other things might hurt their growth/gains. Some might have a girl invite them along on a hour or so bike ride and the guy will turn it down because he doesn't want to burn too many calories, might burn up some muscle for energy. A girl or buddies might invite him out for a few drinks and dancing but he feels he cant because alcohol will hurt his gains and he needs his sleep to grow. The bodybuilder might actually want to do those things but he is denying himself the pleasure because he thinks it will hurt his bodybuilding. Some see that as being tough and disciplined, but when you get older you often see it as just watching life go by. You miss out on so much. Its a choice you make in the end.

Some bodybuilders like you say may be loaners and just want to be alone and do things solo etc. They may not desire to do those things I mentioned, and in that case they are being true to themselves and not missing out on anything I suppose. A lot of guys though I think deny themselves simple pleasures, and that is a shame.

Now I have the point.

One must live life in a way that is commensurate with his preferences and where put all in the balance, he has no regrets about not having dedicated time to his highest priority.

If someone hates bodybuilding lifestyle or sacrifices to be a bodybuilder, just do not do it. I hate running, spinning, boxing and intense aerobic sports, so I just lifting weights and walking.

 

[AVelasques911]

Now I have the point.

One must live life in a way that is commensurate with his preferences and where put all in the balance, he has no regrets about not having dedicated time to his highest priority.

If someone hates bodybuilding lifestyle or sacrifices to be a bodybuilder, just do not do it. I hate running, spinning, boxing and intense aerobic sports, so I just lifting weights and walking.

Yes, I certainly didn't mean to come off argumentative for the sake of it.

If someone wants to do a gram of test a week as a cruise dose and weigh everything, I have no problem with it. Hell, I once failed a college marketing class because we had to participate in a marketing experiment that required us to taste test three different cups with soda in them.... I was prepping and absolutely refused to do it, and I failed the class. I've been there, I've lived that monk lifestyle.

My problem is, especially younger kids, that aren't going to use competing as a platform to either start a supplement business or make a name for themselves, people who just love lifting and looking good, freaking out about losing 1/2 an inch on their calves or being 200 calories under their daily bulking intake or whatever.

Actually, if anyone follows Jerry Ward, he just posted a very good video about how nobody gives a shit how big you are. And for someone not planning on going pro or making a living as a model, I'm not saying don't give it your all, but find balance and keep perspective on life.

 

[maldorf]

Now I have the point.

One must live life in a way that is commensurate with his preferences and where put all in the balance, he has no regrets about not having dedicated time to his highest priority.

If someone hates bodybuilding lifestyle or sacrifices to be a bodybuilder, just do not do it. I hate running, spinning, boxing and intense aerobic sports, so I just lifting weights and walking.

Yes, I think that is it. As he said before, it is also a matter of having balance. Most people are missing out on life if they put 100% into any one thing because other things get neglected. For instance. When I used to go on family vacations, I would immediately upon arrival in the vacation spot break out the phone book and find a gym to lift at while we were there. Vacation was usually between one and two weeks long and I couldn't stand the idea of not lifting/working out for that long. Heaven forbid I might lose some of my gains. So id trek off 20 minutes or more to find a hardcore gym to lift at and meanwhile my wife and kids were back at the hotel on their own. Just plain stupid when I look back now.

 

[maldorf]

Yes, I certainly didn't mean to come off argumentative for the sake of it.

If someone wants to do a gram of test a week as a cruise dose and weigh everything, I have no problem with it. Hell, I once failed a college marketing class because we had to participate in a marketing experiment that required us to taste test three different cups with soda in them.... I was prepping and absolutely refused to do it, and I failed the class. I've been there, I've lived that monk lifestyle.

My problem is, especially younger kids, that aren't going to use competing as a platform to either start a supplement business or make a name for themselves, people who just love lifting and looking good, freaking out about losing 1/2 an inch on their calves or being 200 calories under their daily bulking intake or whatever.

Actually, if anyone follows Jerry Ward, he just posted a very good video about how nobody gives a shit how big you are. And for someone not planning on going pro or making a living as a model, I'm not saying don't give it your all, but find balance and keep perspective on life.

Yep. Good points. There was one time when my family was on a trip and we got to a restaurant too late and missed their serving of lunch. I freaked out and yelled at my wife for making me miss my meal. We were at a state park in the middle of nowhere and it was about 20 minutes to the nearest town. I insisted on going there to get food but the rest of the family decided to wait another 2 hours and go for dinner instead. I freaked out and drove off on my own for lunch.