To be honest, yes, I have the same problem as you. I have always suffered to some degree or another from OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and anxiety. But I feel much better, and much less anxious, at higher doses like 400 - 600mg per week of test, rather than when I have to drop the dose to 200mg for my TRT blood tests.
At 200mg per week of test only, my OCD and anxiety really go through the roof, and I am depressed and miserable. At 400mg per week, I feel much better and relatively normal and not depressed at all. At 600mg a week, I am happy and downright euphoric.
Testosterone, DHT, and other steroids have potent effects at the GABA-a receptors (same ones effected by benzodiazepines like Valium), as well as dopamine, serotonin, and other neurotransmitters. This is still an emerging field of study, and most of the studies that have been done are on animals (usually rats.) So you have to take all of this with a grain of salt and a certain amount of skepticism.
But I know that for myself, when I am at 200mg my OCD and anxiety go crazy, and I am so depressed that I have been advised by my endocrinologist and other doctors to get on an anti-depressant. But at 400-600mg of test per week, I feel much better and not depressed at all.
Everyone else in my family is on various antidepressants and anxiety meds. But for me, quite literally, testosterone and the gym have always been my anti-depressants. When I am on TRT doses I feel anxious and depressed, on higher doses I feel much better, happy and easy-going.
So you and I are in the same boat, along with a lot of other guys if they want to admit it. The question is, what do we do about it? Is it healthier to cut the gear down to TRT levels, and have to go on anxiety meds and anti-depressants? Or would it actually be healthier in some cases to just stay on higher amounts of test and other steroids? I suppose that depends on each individual and their own personal situation. But I know for myself, I feel much better on higher amounts of test and certain other steroids. Some gear raises anxiety and aggression, others decrease it. All of this is individual and everyone has to try things out for themselves to see what works best for them.
Testosterone affects brain functions and might explain some of the observed behavioral sex differences. Animal models may help in elucidating the possible in...
www.frontiersin.org
"The anxiolytic-like effect of testosterone has been revealed in gonadally intact healthy animals, as well (
64–
66). However, testosterone can be either reduced by 5α-reductase to the more potent androgen dihydrotestosterone, or aromatized by aromatase to estradiol converting the androgen to estrogen activity. In brain, dihydrotestosterone can be further metabolized to 5α-androstane-3α,17β-diol (3α-diol) and to 5α-androstane-3β,17β-diol (3β-diol), neuroactive steroids possessing neuromodulatory activity (
67). One of the most cited study investigating the rapid effects of testosterone on anxiety-like behavior in mice has suggested that the anxiolytic effect of testosterone is mediated by its 5α-reduced metabolites (
64). Likewise, it has been proved that administration of 3α-diol decreases anxiety-like behavior in male rats (
52,
59,
60,
63) as well as in female rats (
68), while inhibition of testosterone metabolism to 3α-diol increases anxiety in male rats (
62). Similar to effect of hormone administration, sexual experience and the exposure of intact male rats or mice to female subjects may decrease anxiety-like behavior associated with increased concentration of testosterone in plasma and hippocampus, as well as increased hypothalamic testosterone and 3α-diol concentration (
64,
69). On the other hand, estradiol (
61) and another metabolite of testosterone, androsterone (
70), may cause anxiolysis, as well. Fernández-Guasti and Martínez-Mota (
54) have shown that repeated administration of testosterone, but not a single injection of testosterone, nor treatment with 3α-diol or androsterone produced anxiolysis in male gonadectomized rats (
54). According to published data, the manifestation of the anxiolytic-like effect of testosterone or its metabolites is highly dependent on dose and duration of treatment (
54,
58,
64,
65,
71).
Due to its complex metabolism, the effects of testosterone might be mediated through different mechanisms of action. Testosterone and dihydrotestosterone are ligands of the androgen receptor. The latter binds with a greater affinity to the receptor and activates gene transcription resulting in an increased androgen activity (
72). The role of androgen signaling in the regulation of anxiety-related behavior was demonstrated by administration of the androgen receptor antagonist flutamide (
52,
54,
66), but also using the animal model of testicular feminization mutation (
73–
76) and androgen receptor knockout mice (
77). In addition, it has been shown that some selective androgen receptor modulators may exert neuroprotective effects (
78) and may affect some behavioral and brain functions (
79–
83). However, experimental studies examining their effects on anxiety important for the deeper understanding of the association between testosterone and anxiety, but potentially also for therapeutic applications are lacking."