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Please Help Me! Anybody with a open mind and HPTA knowledge - feeling suicidal

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Zonerbreem

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My estrogen levels actually are coming back high every time I do blood work. Like above 30 for Estradiol and I have Hashimoto's thyroid disease. I take one 15mg Armour thyroid pill and one 5MCG of Cytomel (T3). I have a separate thyroid specialist I see for this issue

Why don't you recommend Caber? I was the one who brought it up to my TRT doctor because I went on Wikipedia and saw that the binding affinity was very strong and it was a full agonist as opposed to being a partial one. Because the binding affinity is so high my theory is that it would be able to out-compete the abilify they put me on and restore sexual function. I know if prolactin is too low it will make it so you can't cum like a ssri.

Yes Dr. O'Connor prescribed me the Testosterone but I'm currently not taking it.

My doc gave me Arimidex but I don't think its strong enough and I got a better feeling on Aromasin and least with getting rid of my mild Gyno. If the estrogen keeps rebounding high what do you personally suggest? I'm not even taking test and my estrogen comes back high - So clearly there is already a hormonal imbalance issue.

The reason why I'm worried about fertility is once again I think philosophically/psychologically in a very darwinian evolutionary sense.

I've seen a very "Competitive" nasty cut-throat side to people - where people play games, lie, and are two-faced. Everybody wants acceptance with like-minded people but that in itself is competitive - especially with extroverts who need a certain amount of social stimulation to get there energy and would most likely be bored to death by a introvert. Evolutionary psychology goes more in depth in terms of Tribal Morality and some of my existential crisis's stem from the fear of never finding acceptance within the right "Tribe". Most mental health facilitates do not want to acknowledge Evo Pysch even misconstruing it as social Darwinism when it simply explains human nature from a evolutionary perspective (Constant Competition). The feelings of weakness and wanting to die could border on Social Darwinism but I view it as natures way of saying your not happy because this is how natural selection has programmed you. (EGO)

So when you combine the fact that people are cruel and competitive and your dick doesn't work - that creates the feelings of hopelessness, paranoia, and suicidal idealization. Especially, if there is this inherent animalistic side to people and you lack confidence from not feeling testosterone or masculinity - even sexual frustration and coming off desperate to people even girls
No joke though I've been cussed out - given the "I don't like you's" - given the silent treatment - given the silent fuck you's. All kinds of fucked up shit and I internalize that and combine that from a evolutionary perspective - it makes me feel like my life is meaningless and there is no hope.

I want to reiterate that I'm currently being looked after through ACT and receiving more than enough help for my issues.

Overman - Thank you very much for your feedback and psychological info regarding suicide. I'd rather not share my location but maybe you have more insight or intellectual knowledge that could be helpful to me?
 

b_cornelius

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Jul 25, 2012
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1,553
My estrogen levels actually are coming back high every time I do blood work. Like above 30 for Estradiol and I have Hashimoto's thyroid disease. I take one 15mg Armour thyroid pill and one 5MCG of Cytomel (T3). I have a separate thyroid specialist I see for this issue

Why don't you recommend Caber? I was the one who brought it up to my TRT doctor because I went on Wikipedia and saw that the binding affinity was very strong and it was a full agonist as opposed to being a partial one. Because the binding affinity is so high my theory is that it would be able to out-compete the abilify they put me on and restore sexual function. I know if prolactin is too low it will make it so you can't cum like a ssri.

Yes Dr. O'Connor prescribed me the Testosterone but I'm currently not taking it.

My doc gave me Arimidex but I don't think its strong enough and I got a better feeling on Aromasin and least with getting rid of my mild Gyno. If the estrogen keeps rebounding high what do you personally suggest? I'm not even taking test and my estrogen comes back high - So clearly there is already a hormonal imbalance issue.

The reason why I'm worried about fertility is once again I think philosophically/psychologically in a very darwinian evolutionary sense.

I've seen a very "Competitive" nasty cut-throat side to people - where people play games, lie, and are two-faced. Everybody wants acceptance with like-minded people but that in itself is competitive - especially with extroverts who need a certain amount of social stimulation to get there energy and would most likely be bored to death by a introvert. Evolutionary psychology goes more in depth in terms of Tribal Morality and some of my existential crisis's stem from the fear of never finding acceptance within the right "Tribe". Most mental health facilitates do not want to acknowledge Evo Pysch even misconstruing it as social Darwinism when it simply explains human nature from a evolutionary perspective (Constant Competition). The feelings of weakness and wanting to die could border on Social Darwinism but I view it as natures way of saying your not happy because this is how natural selection has programmed you. (EGO)

So when you combine the fact that people are cruel and competitive and your dick doesn't work - that creates the feelings of hopelessness, paranoia, and suicidal idealization. Especially, if there is this inherent animalistic side to people and you lack confidence from not feeling testosterone or masculinity - even sexual frustration and coming off desperate to people even girls
No joke though I've been cussed out - given the "I don't like you's" - given the silent treatment - given the silent fuck you's. All kinds of fucked up shit and I internalize that and combine that from a evolutionary perspective - it makes me feel like my life is meaningless and there is no hope.

I want to reiterate that I'm currently being looked after through ACT and receiving more than enough help for my issues.

Overman - Thank you very much for your feedback and psychological info regarding suicide. I'd rather not share my location but maybe you have more insight or intellectual knowledge that could be helpful to me?

A lot of incredibly wealthy and powerful people believed that they had evolved and joined some I-L-L-U-M-I-N-A-T-T-I cabal. Then they found out that they were skipped in favour of the most gifted individuals. Now those former elite feel evolutionarily inferior. They are just as mad as they are mad. They still have a lot of money to spend and alot of henchmen for now. Good story. More Epstein.

I suppose it would be inappropriate for me to repeat that three more times.
 

qbkilla

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Apr 20, 2009
Messages
2,894
What others said, I think you should seek mental help, call the hotline, you are having suicidal thoughts. Whatever concerns you have about erections from a supplement you took are probably coming from a deeper psychological issue you have. You need an expert in mental health not a TRT doc/clinic/HCG/anti e's. Definitely seek help.
 

pesty4077

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My estrogen levels actually are coming back high every time I do blood work. Like above 30 for Estradiol and I have Hashimoto's thyroid disease. I take one 15mg Armour thyroid pill and one 5MCG of Cytomel (T3). I have a separate thyroid specialist I see for this issue

Why don't you recommend Caber? I was the one who brought it up to my TRT doctor because I went on Wikipedia and saw that the binding affinity was very strong and it was a full agonist as opposed to being a partial one. Because the binding affinity is so high my theory is that it would be able to out-compete the abilify they put me on and restore sexual function. I know if prolactin is too low it will make it so you can't cum like a ssri.

Yes Dr. O'Connor prescribed me the Testosterone but I'm currently not taking it.

My doc gave me Arimidex but I don't think its strong enough and I got a better feeling on Aromasin and least with getting rid of my mild Gyno. If the estrogen keeps rebounding high what do you personally suggest? I'm not even taking test and my estrogen comes back high - So clearly there is already a hormonal imbalance issue.

The reason why I'm worried about fertility is once again I think philosophically/psychologically in a very darwinian evolutionary sense.

I've seen a very "Competitive" nasty cut-throat side to people - where people play games, lie, and are two-faced. Everybody wants acceptance with like-minded people but that in itself is competitive - especially with extroverts who need a certain amount of social stimulation to get there energy and would most likely be bored to death by a introvert. Evolutionary psychology goes more in depth in terms of Tribal Morality and some of my existential crisis's stem from the fear of never finding acceptance within the right "Tribe". Most mental health facilitates do not want to acknowledge Evo Pysch even misconstruing it as social Darwinism when it simply explains human nature from a evolutionary perspective (Constant Competition). The feelings of weakness and wanting to die could border on Social Darwinism but I view it as natures way of saying your not happy because this is how natural selection has programmed you. (EGO)

So when you combine the fact that people are cruel and competitive and your dick doesn't work - that creates the feelings of hopelessness, paranoia, and suicidal idealization. Especially, if there is this inherent animalistic side to people and you lack confidence from not feeling testosterone or masculinity - even sexual frustration and coming off desperate to people even girls
No joke though I've been cussed out - given the "I don't like you's" - given the silent treatment - given the silent fuck you's. All kinds of fucked up shit and I internalize that and combine that from a evolutionary perspective - it makes me feel like my life is meaningless and there is no hope.

I want to reiterate that I'm currently being looked after through ACT and receiving more than enough help for my issues.

Overman - Thank you very much for your feedback and psychological info regarding suicide. I'd rather not share my location but maybe you have more insight or intellectual knowledge that could be helpful to me?


Please seek professional help if you have thoughts of suicide. Call the suicide prevention line to start. We are not qualified in that area. This is what you need and not advice from a board.
 

Bio

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Let this be a lesson for over the counter bodybuilding products. So many have much harsher effects than the good ol' stuff!

Listen to Dr. O' Connor and follow his protocol(s).

I get the impression you had psychiatric issues before any of this happened.

LET'S BE CLEAR...THIS LIFESTYLE IS NOT FOR YOU!! No one with psychiatric issues should be doing anything that puts their hormones out of balance! If, by chance, you didn't have psychiatric issues before this, you still need to avoid this lifestyle due to the effects you experienced from something so simple. After the doctor gets you sorted out stay far away from hormones!!
 
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