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Question about personality disorder

tkav1980

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To make a long story short I’ve historically had a problem with faithfulness. When my wife was seeing a professional to deal with my infidelity I had a session with her doctor that lasted all of 10 minutes. This was about a year ago now.
She told me the doctor said that she believes I’m a sociopath with a bit of narcissism and mentioned that can be ascertained based on my response to a few questions, or lack of response. Not emotionally reacting in a normal way, I suppose.
I take a lot of steps to be conscious of the behaviors that lead to my indiscretions and avoid them or just acknowledge the thought pattern and purposely choose to act differently.
My question is, can this be diagnosed accurately that quickly and what are the odds of successfully dealing with it long term without treatment?
as I understand, sociopaths are made, not born, so I’m hoping I can win this fight long term.
One thing the doctor got 100% accurate is I can’t emotionally connect with people other than my wife and kids.
 

Luv2test

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It doesn’t seem credible or especially professional for a therapist to diagnose someone with a personality disorder after asking only a few questions.
Maybe you should consider seeing a therapist of your own and getting a more professional diagnosis. Once you get a better handle on your own quirks/defects/traits, you should see a couples counselor.
It stands to reason that your wife’s therapist may be biased and is more likely to advocate for her rather than be impartial.
 

juggy38

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Nature vs nurture debate. Personality disorders are pretty apparent to specialists, but 10 minutes….naa.

48 hours on an acute psych unit and hell yea a psychiatrist can nail it.

Look into social skills training
 

tkav1980

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It doesn’t seem credible or especially professional for a therapist to diagnose someone with a personality disorder after asking only a few questions.
Maybe you should consider seeing a therapist of your own and getting a more professional diagnosis. Once you get a better handle on your own quirks/defects/traits, you should see a couples counselor.
It stands to reason that your wife’s therapist may be biased and is more likely to advocate for her rather than be impartial.
I’d love to find out if she’s right. This happened over a year ago and something I was reading triggered me to post the question here because of the diverse backgrounds of the members.
when I read about the sociopaths behavior and patterns I see a number of similarities but as a sales professional I see the same in nearly every successful colleague I’ve met, so I’m not sure if there’s an actual pathology at play or a series of learned behaviors that typically lead to success in this type of profession.
sure there’s competent manipulation but I do empathize with certain scenarios like parents who lose children, animal abuse, women who are abused…etc. which makes me question what this therapist said.
from reading, it appears to be a grey scale more than a black and white thing so I’m not sure.
 

Luv2test

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Ask yourself, “Why did I sit down with my wife’s therapist?” If the answer is you wanted to work on yourself, your relationship, make her feel better and show her how much you care, then you can rule out narcissism and sociopathy. If you had either of those conditions, you wouldn’t have cared enough to even try to improve things…unless it was all an act to fool her into thinking you give a shit. Also, having similar traits doesn’t indicate you actually fit the definition. If you comb through the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), you’ll probably find you have a TON of traits that coincide with several conditions.

Look up “medical students disease”.
You’re probably fine. You just have people in your life (at least one) who want you to change.
 

Skins

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sociopath
[ˈsōsēōˌpaTH]

- a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.


Let's unbox the first description: extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior
( - You're honestly seeking to evaluate with others you may consider your peers, and knowing many of us here are from broken "been there, done that" backgrounds, to which we have openly shared, or in the spirit of "giving it away" like someone does at any AA meeting.) I'm not sure the above sentiment is an accurate description of your good faith here

Lack of conscience: Well, you're seemingly seeking in Good Faith to handle your infidelity, and agreed to professional help (which isn't helping), and like me, I'm dubious to "professional" advice

You're normal....
 

Kaladryn

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It all depends on how strictly you define sociopath, by my definition, functioning sociopaths are actually super common, somewhere around half the population.

If you don't give a crap about people you don't know, you fit the loose definition.
 

Hermogenes

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A therapist sees your wife for a while, them sees you for 10 min and have a diagnosis?
"
Regardless you admittedly have issues to deal with and professional help is the best route

And your wife should find someone more competent, that was frivolous and said diagnosis jeopardizes your relationship even more.

Have you ever considered that some people are just not born for monogamy?
 

USMuscle9403

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find another therapist

my experience is that it's impossible to win against a female therapist or doctor if another woman is involved. the man is ALWAYS the bad guy
 

showstopper83

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To make a long story short I’ve historically had a problem with faithfulness. When my wife was seeing a professional to deal with my infidelity I had a session with her doctor that lasted all of 10 minutes. This was about a year ago now.
She told me the doctor said that she believes I’m a sociopath with a bit of narcissism and mentioned that can be ascertained based on my response to a few questions, or lack of response. Not emotionally reacting in a normal way, I suppose.
I take a lot of steps to be conscious of the behaviors that lead to my indiscretions and avoid them or just acknowledge the thought pattern and purposely choose to act differently.
My question is, can this be diagnosed accurately that quickly and what are the odds of successfully dealing with it long term without treatment?
as I understand, sociopaths are made, not born, so I’m hoping I can win this fight long term.
One thing the doctor got 100% accurate is I can’t emotionally connect with people other than my wife and kids.

First off, all mental disorder "diagnosis" are just guesses. Its not like a blood test that can definitively test for an illness, and it ends up being a glorified opinion.

Though there is likely some level of truth to it, a term like "sociopath" isnt something that should be thrown around lightly. The fact that you would bother to post concern on here about it shows that you are not completely devoid of care. Someone can be selfish, inconsiderate and detached without being a sociopath.

It likely is that after hearing countless horror stories about your cheating and hoe much its hurt your wife aka her client, she is biased. Therapists are just people who are still susceptible to human flaw.

If you guys are serious about working things out, try going to a new neutral therapist together and getting their opinion.
 

showstopper83

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find another therapist

my experience is that it's impossible to win against a female therapist or doctor if another woman is involved. the man is ALWAYS the bad guy

In female client/doctor settings, the therapist often just becomes a sympathetic gf to the woman that just basically listens to her bitch and gives friendly advice as if she is the victim in every circumstance.

People dont get better when they are never held accountable and always have their bullshit validated for them.
 

Dave Perez

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I’d love to find out if she’s right. This happened over a year ago and something I was reading triggered me to post the question here because of the diverse backgrounds of the members.
when I read about the sociopaths behavior and patterns I see a number of similarities but as a sales professional I see the same in nearly every successful colleague I’ve met, so I’m not sure if there’s an actual pathology at play or a series of learned behaviors that typically lead to success in this type of profession.
sure there’s competent manipulation but I do empathize with certain scenarios like parents who lose children, animal abuse, women who are abused…etc. which makes me question what this therapist said.
from reading, it appears to be a grey scale more than a black and white thing so I’m not sure.
Back in 1975 I was a sophomore in high school...I told my dad that my School counselor asked me what I wanted to be after college...I told my dad that I told the counselor I wanted to be a business man (sales rep) like him...he said I would never be successful...I asked why and he said because I was too Catholic...I asked what that meant and he said I was too honest...I asked If I could be an honest business man and he said sure but you will never be successful!...
 

Dave Perez

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Nature vs nurture debate. Personality disorders are pretty apparent to specialists, but 10 minutes….naa.

48 hours on an acute psych unit and hell yea a psychiatrist can nail it.

Look into social skills training
There was a three stooges episode where two social scientists were arguing back and forth over nature vs nurture...finally the nature guy sees the stooges screwing around and bets the nurture guy that he could not fix their behavior...the nurture guy takes the bet...he spends a month teaching Larry, curly and Moe how to be gentlemen...after a month they all get together for a dinner...at first the stooges were behaving themselves and the nature scientist concedes that he lost the bet...all of a sudden the dinner turns into a pie throwing Melee...the nurture scientist concedes that nature rules!...
 

OuchThatHurts

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.
My question is, can this be diagnosed accurately that quickly and what are the odds of successfully dealing with it long term without treatment?
No, it can't. And treatment for sociopathy (ASPD) can be successful or not.
as I understand, sociopaths are made, not born, so I’m hoping I can win this fight long term.
One thing the doctor got 100% accurate is I can’t emotionally connect with people other than my wife and kids.
They can be born or made. But, take heart in the fact that you made this post at all would seem to point to a willingness and understanding that you need help. "Hoping I can win this fight" is not something a sociopath would normally say unless the post itself is entirely disingenuous.
It all depends on how strictly you define sociopath, by my definition, functioning sociopaths are actually super common, somewhere around half the population.

If you don't give a crap about people you don't know, you fit the loose definition.
100% bullshit. You seem to have your own definition of everything. Facts be damned. You're so introverted, why not come out here with the rest of us? It's a wonderful world and time to be alive!
 

OuchThatHurts

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find another therapist

my experience is that it's impossible to win against a female therapist or doctor if another woman is involved. the man is ALWAYS the bad guy
This also applies to men in treatment that later bring in their wives (or whomever). The therapist's involvement is a conflict of interest. He/she should have not done that. They have one side of the full story and when the other side appears, a "doorway diagnosis" is made. Meaning it was decided before the patient walked in the doorway.
 

Muay Thai

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This also applies to men in treatment that later bring in their wives (or whomever). The therapist's involvement is a conflict of interest. He/she should have not done that. They have one side of the full story and when the other side appears, a "doorway diagnosis" is made. Meaning it was decided before the patient walked in the doorway.
correct many psychs will NOT do that. conflict of interest BIGTIME. my therapist does NOT care for my girlfriend. Thus, one can infer he would not be a suitable candidate for talking to her considering his preexisting bias as my #1 fan (being extreme) but you get my drift. People need to do extensive research on who they see before they see them. EXTENSIVE. I have been through a maze of madness since juvenile hall court started imposing mandatory psychology sessions for me because I had a violent assault and and battery charge w/GBI when I was 14. I smacked a rival in the face with a 5lb iron plate (weight) in the face during a fight. Since then I've been in and out of all systems.

to OP-

The kingdom is within brother. Lao Tzu said mastering others is strength, but mastering thyself is TRUE POWER. Study psychology and philosophy and theology DEEPLY. Deprogram from the cultural diversion happening and indoctrinated dogma. Lose yourself. In order to be come the master, one first has to be ok with being the fool . expand your horizons, deepen your resolve, compartmentalize your ego and get familiar with it and increase awareness in those realms. Shadow work is a VERY NOBLE QUEST. If you arent familiar with shadow work look into Dr Carl Jung (Sigmund Freud old parter) who IMO dwarfed his contributions to modern psychology after separating from his "firm". No more being in bondage as as a slave to your impulses. That is when the metamorphosis and evolution commences. Lastly, take a heroic dose of psychedelics once in a blue moon. Humble yourself, back to ground zero, we all need to revisit humblecity every so often
 

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