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TBI / Emotional Therapy - My Experience w/ Ibogaine and 5MEO-DMT

Performance Based

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A few of you were asking about this and to be sincere I had such a transformative experience utilizing these therapies I wanted to share. Hopefully they can guide some of you along your path as well if you so need them. To the Mods, this is not meant to be the discussion of narcotics nor regarding the abuse of illicit compounds. I fully understand this may be a grey area, for that I apologize.

Ibogaine and 5MEO-DMT Therapy
Provider - Ambio Life
www.Ambio.life
Funding - VETS
www.VetSolutions.org
Cost - $4,500
Non 501c3 Funding Cost - $5,750
Pick Up – Monday, February 30th
Disembarkation – Friday, February 3rd
Day One
Pick up is completed from a Marriott hotel near San Diego Airport. Two vehicles will arrive to pick your cohort up at approximately 10AM. Drive to the San Diego/Tijuana border takes approximately 20 minutes. From there it is an additional 30-minute drive to a private residence in a secure side of the city. Ambio runs three different residences. You will be assigned your room, everyone will get together for a walk through of the schedule and a meet and great with the staff.
Lunch will be served, and everyone will get into a singular large SUV and drive approximately one hour to a Temescal (sweat lodge). Lodge includes a ceremony from indigenous persons before, during and after. The sauna is approximately 190 degrees. You will do four sessions, each of 20 minutes in length. During this experience you will consume a “Salvia” drink. After completion back to the residence – after showering IVs will be administered and EKGs.
Day Two
Labs completed in the morning. Unsure of the data they are collecting, no labs were ever presented to me. Blood and urine collected. Day starts with breathwork, an explanation of Ibogaine and modalities to control your experience, massages and then the ceremony.
You will write a list of things you wish to destroy, things you want answers for and which you want to be better. Everyone will meet at the fire pit in the back yard. We present to one another what we wish to share and then throw the list into the fire. The first dosage of Ibogaine is ingested (capsules). Second dosage is consumed one hour later, third is thirty minutes after and the fourth is fifteen minutes subsequently. Everyone will then go to the treatment room together.
Day Three
Grey Day – IVs administered in the morning and Reiki is performed.
Day Four
Yoga is performed in the morning – This is a light movement session focusing predominately on breath work through various ranges of motion. Group circle where the 5MEO is explained in depth by the provider. 5MEO is then utilized in the residence. One individual at a time with the facility owner and medical staff.
Day Five
Departure Day – Leave the residence shortly after breakfast.
Professional Background
35-year-old male: 18 years in the special operations community. Diagnosed with “Operator Stress Syndrome” in 2019. Multiple TBIs resulting in a tangible decline of neurological function ranging from cognitive decline, ability to process time, memory and CNS patterning issues.
Personal Background
I have never struggled with depression but over the past several years I have had a deep sadness about me. Zero diagnoses of PTSD and I sincerely do not believe this is an applicable diagnosis to myself. Not a rough childhood but I was an “accident”, and it was apparent I was unwanted throughout my childhood. This is something I have struggled with even throughout my adult life. This need to prove myself to those that simply were not interested. Thinking of my parents I wouldn’t cry but frequently tear up and have a pain deep under my diaphragm with a deep sense of loneliness.
My wife and I married in 2020 after seven years of dating – we have a relationship that I cannot put into words. She is my best friend, the love of my life and hopefully soon the mother of my children. I became addicted to her, however. When with her all my issues, pain, etc. would cease. When I was not with her, I would feel akin to how I would when thinking of my parents. Almost as though she was a drug I needed.
Personal Experience w/ Narcotics + Psychedelics
In high school 2004-2005 I utilized marijuana no more than four times. Outside of that I have no experience utilizing any form of illicit substance to change my mental status except for in 2022 I utilized a THC gummy three times in totality. Any use of opiates was for surgical procedures, prescribed by a physician and stopped when no longer necessary. No addiction issues or withdrawals. I have zero experience with psychedelics.
History with Spirituality
In all sincerity I never understood it. I considered myself a loose follower of Judeo-Christian ideals more focused on my behavior than anything else. When thinking of spirituality, I would think of the weird lady with her crystals reading palms.
 
My experiences
Salvia
– Brief experience of no more than 15 seconds. I view my wife as an angel. I approached her as some sort of demonic figure. Punching her in the stomach she then collapses and passes. I look down in horror at what I just I am somehow completely and totally unable to control what my body is doing despite my mind being fully aware. Like a parasite has taken control of my functions.
Ibogaine – Let me preface with this – there is no change to your state of situational awareness or ability to rationally think during the experience. If you remove the mask and open your eyes the “visions” completely stop. Your consciousness can also guide and direct the visions, you can interact with them. After the fourth pill is administered, we proceed to the treatment room. After the ceremony was complete, I lay down. Face mask is on. With closed eyes I can still see the room I am in however I am looking through a reddish/orange filter. Colorful bursts of light cross my vision sporadically in a horizontal fashion. If I place my hands over my mask I can see my hands and forearms, it does not matter in what pattern I move them nor the distance from my face I can see them clear as day. Staff asks if I am fully engrossed in the experience, I inform them I am not. They have me get up to walk around and come back – this has no apparent result. I ask for a booster (another capsule). Approximately 5 minutes later it begins intensely. I can only remember approximately 5% (that is being generous) of everything which I saw. The background of the images displayed is bedrooms of houses I have lived in the past several years – it switches approximately every two hours keeping the red/orange tint.
These are my most memorable “visions”.
A vintage movie screen appears with the 4-3-2-1 countdown. My father rides through it on a bicycle immediately cutting to the right, I as a young child am trying to chase him. It then cuts to these stoic “god like” creatures staring off into the distance at a sun. They look like the robot monsters from the first Thor movie. They seem to be patiently enduring time. I then get lost in this massive slide show, I just remember asking it to slow down. I then asked it to show me my wife. My wife appears on top of the movie screen and floats down she then places a baby on my chest. I kiss the baby on the head, my wife then kisses me on my forehead and then she floats off.
After this the visions seem to go together in a pattern. Statues from ancient civilizations (Egyptian, Machu Picchu, Petra, etc. – but only places I have been to) are presented at a birds eye view often panning over them from an inferior to superior perspective, then geometric shapes and patterns moving, then to the stars – frequently showing me the same star sets over and over like it was trying to show me something – saying look here. Constellations and stars are presented then a line like a treasure map is drawn in the blackness showing me something. In the night sky small, fractured mirrors often appear on the lateral edges – inside of these mirrors are faces staring at me. I cannot place the faces.
A large black cane Corso walks up to my left side slowly (I am terrified of dogs) – I sit up, I can see my entire body clear as day through the mask. The dog is no more than two inches from my face, I panic and take my mask off and open my eyes. Place the mask back on and lay back down. The dog is gone.
Throughout the experience a black figure swoops down no less than ten times and whispers in alternating ears “what are you doing” and immediately floats back away.
I have a skeletal creature on my right side, kneeling over me – appears to be eating my liver.
Unfortunately, this is all I can remember.
5MEO-DMT
I did not partake. I was in such a fantastic mental space this day and did not want to add any additional stimuli to the situation. In retrospect I wish I did but I will be going back out and doing it.
After Action Review
The day after the Ibogaine therapy I felt terrible. Think food poisoning in India bad, just without the diarrhea and vomiting. My body was just wrecked. Mentally utterly gone. Interestingly I wore my Oura ring during the process. My HRV while sleeping is typically 80 peaking at 150. After my experience it was 10 peaking at 12. This has been the best measure of my neurological recovery that I have found to date. If you asked me on this day if I would ever do Ibogaine again my answer would have been absolutely not. I am actively booking it now for March/April of 2024. I will be doing Ibogaine + DMT twice.
Things that have improved:
In simplest terms – my sadness I have always carried is completely and utterly gone. It was like living with a long term injury, you simply forget what it is like to be whole. If this is baseline, I cannot believe how far away from it I got and didn’t realize it.
TBI – This is one of those things that is palpable. You know when you are having a bad hour, day, week. In the strangest way possible I feel as though I have never been exposed to overpressure. Things are clicking. My eyesight feels sharper and my hearing more pronounced.
Neurological – Small changes here, did heavy rack pulls on Monday. I usually cannot activate my glutes at the same time as my erectors. This is with patterning work pre lift. Everything was firing appropriately.
Spiritually – Once loosely held beliefs that I held for nearly two decades have become replaced with a concrete belief system after a singular day. I firmly believe now that life never begins or ends; it is simply recycled through various forms. Not in the sense of reincarnation – just this infinite universe. I have some more here but in all sinvcerity this is my truth, not necessarily yours. I hope whoever you are you find happiness and the truth in which you seek.
Purpose – I left my command formally in 2020 and have been working at our human performance division and teaching. I have struggled massively with my purpose ever since then. How do I fall in the scheme of things. How can I leave something that had so much value to myself and still see myself in the same positive light? My purpose has become iron clad. Unwavering and I find immense strength and meaning in it.
Operator Stress Syndrome – My wife and I recently got back from Maui, we did a private sail boat charter and took my grandfather out. It meant the world to him. I can say in all sincerity having to sit still for 5ish hours was one of the worst days of my life in the past decade. I have a level of peacefulness about me now that I have never had. I am spending today at the house just getting work done that I have been putting off for 2+ years – it has been a blissful experience.
Ego – I should rephrase this as the death of my ego. I have had such a hard time letting go of my previous career the past two years. I was still wearing my squadron shirts, sought recognition, gave input when it wasn’t needed or asked for all to feed my ego and to be the “big dick” in the room, hell even the way I would communicate with my wife. I have never realized this about myself. Who I once was and what I used to do is not who I am not. It may be now that I have a clearly defined purpose again that this is going to the wayside, but I feel clear. Ego to me is like a suit, I can put it on and take it off at will now. If I am working I can slip that suit on and easily take it off now when I get home.
My fellow man – When I got to the facility it was myself and another individual from my command and three other individuals. MARSOC, ODA, and Marine Corp infantry cats. All had extensive utilization of psychoactive substances and substantial use of various narcotics. I hate to say it but I immediately dismissed them as drug addicted fuck ups. After this I recognize that they have been on a different path than I have with different opportunities and outcomes that I have had the luxury of having. I fell in love with two of them and didn’t care about it in the slightest. Only how pure their heart and intentions were. One of the individuals did not conduct himself honorably and I didn’t connect with him on purpose. I see people in a completely different light now. It is no longer me vs. them; they are my brothers and sisters and I hope I can help no matter how big or small with anything that they need.
Miscellaneous Notations
I was the only individual that showed up with zero psychedelic experience. If you want to go down this pathway, I would highly recommend going to a psilocybin resort before embarking with Ibogaine. My wife and I are actively looking into this now and I will be going back down for Ibogaine + DMT next year. It will be something I do (bi)annually for here on out.
 
Some misc. photos. Another thing to add, the food was fantastic.
 

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Interesting read man and thank you for sharing!
 
happy to hear you had a great experience. i suffer from derealization and hope to find a cure to it.
 
Love this. I’m a huge fan of pscilocybin for personal work/introspection. I’ve been wanting to try DMT and ibogain for a little while now. I have some baggage from earlier years coupled with some disorders and depression. I manage it very well with no medication, but it’d be amazing not to have to manage it at all.
 
Love this. I’m a huge fan of pscilocybin for personal work/introspection. I’ve been wanting to try DMT and ibogain for a little while now. I have some baggage from earlier years coupled with some disorders and depression. I manage it very well with no medication, but it’d be amazing not to have to manage it at all.
Some feel its a roll of the dice when short cutting your way to spiritual insight and/or wisdom.
Meaning the jokers may give you something you'll bring back that you've wished you kept on the other side
This is the only reason I've kept away from psychedelics. I don't want to roll the dice.
I'm kinda starting to feel a way about my pinning addiction.
 
combined DMT + MAOI + Mullien and made changa about a month ago. the yield was about 3.5g. I took 2 rips and held it in and puked my brains out. I remember looking up as i was exorcist-puking, and the terrain (hills, road bushes etc) was switching from like a fresco, to impressionism strokes, with some powerful vivid hues and blends. It really put things into perspective after, even know i spent the duration puking mostly. My gf was fine, immediately after we walked about 1.5mi hike then lifted weights at gym down st, hit sauna it was great.

I don't get what the fuss about DMT is. It is not a psychedelic that really induces revelations like LSD or psilocybin will. even ketamine is superior. DMT just gives you that holy fuck, awe-struck effect, and fires up the right areas of your brain where you are feeling zen for a month or two after. It also tastes disgusting to smoke raw, even when making changa herb with it it taste nasty

If anyone has any questions about using psychedelics for treatment-resistant PTSD/depression, I am your guy. I spent years of my life in this rabbit hole.

i am glad everything worked out for you bro. If you would ever like to talk, hmu. I had moonrock mdma at the jordan peterson event, it was marvelous, really brought us closer.
 
combined DMT + MAOI + Mullien and made changa about a month ago. the yield was about 3.5g. I took 2 rips and held it in and puked my brains out. I remember looking up as i was exorcist-puking, and the terrain (hills, road bushes etc) was switching from like a fresco, to impressionism strokes, with some powerful vivid hues and blends. It really put things into perspective after, even know i spent the duration puking mostly. My gf was fine, immediately after we walked about 1.5mi hike then lifted weights at gym down st, hit sauna it was great.

I don't get what the fuss about DMT is. It is not a psychedelic that really induces revelations like LSD or psilocybin will. even ketamine is superior. DMT just gives you that holy fuck, awe-struck effect, and fires up the right areas of your brain where you are feeling zen for a month or two after. It also tastes disgusting to smoke raw, even when making changa herb with it it taste nasty

If anyone has any questions about using psychedelics for treatment-resistant PTSD/depression, I am your guy. I spent years of my life in this rabbit hole.

i am glad everything worked out for you bro. If you would ever like to talk, hmu. I had moonrock mdma at the jordan peterson event, it was marvelous, really brought us closer.

Do you have anhedonia?
 
Do you have anhedonia?
yeah, from life, and the streets lol

NO, i do not have anhedonia, are you asking because you have read that is a possibility after psychedelic use?

Sure life feels better on a subthreshold dose of ketamine, but no bro, in fact they did the opposite for me, they immediately enabled me to love life and everything around me. Psychedelics scare the shit out of me at this point in my life, im happy sober lol . I have my days, but i had the nihilistic feeling since like 7th grade, you learn to integrate your demons, and plus I've had way too many close calls almost losing life

unless you are caught in an addictive tornado, then its not so cut and dry
 
Good afternoon everyone!

@goback2013 I fully understand that mentality. To be honest I was terrified before heading down. I sincerely was mulling over the thought of cancelling and blaming it on my busy schedule. Understood about potentially leaving stuff on the other side; I just like the thought of me basically being a little kid with a flashlight going into a cave. Might see some really amazing awe inspiring things... On the other side you might illuminate something that terrifies you till the day you die. After this experience I would say I have this childlike awe again in regards to this aspect of life. My curiosity has never been greater.

@Muay Thai Unfamiliar in all sincerity what those other compounds are. I think the 5MEO (different from my understanding from regular DMT) is paired with Ibogaine as Ibo usually ellicits very dark and highly personal trips. Kind of offsets it for a lot of the guys. One of the guys in my cohort was crying uncontrollably the day after, he had some really personal and pretty dark things come up.

I also think proper preparation (not saying you did or didn’t prepare for your experience?) really matters forcing things from your conscious into your subconscious to help guide the experience.

I know so little about this stuff man my opinion really doesn’t carry much weight here 🤷‍♂️
 
Good afternoon everyone!

@goback2013 I fully understand that mentality. To be honest I was terrified before heading down. I sincerely was mulling over the thought of cancelling and blaming it on my busy schedule. Understood about potentially leaving stuff on the other side; I just like the thought of me basically being a little kid with a flashlight going into a cave. Might see some really amazing awe inspiring things... On the other side you might illuminate something that terrifies you till the day you die. After this experience I would say I have this childlike awe again in regards to this aspect of life. My curiosity has never been greater.

@Muay Thai Unfamiliar in all sincerity what those other compounds are. I think the 5MEO (different from my understanding from regular DMT) is paired with Ibogaine as Ibo usually ellicits very dark and highly personal trips. Kind of offsets it for a lot of the guys. One of the guys in my cohort was crying uncontrollably the day after, he had some really personal and pretty dark things come up.

I also think proper preparation (not saying you did or didn’t prepare for your experience?) really matters forcing things from your conscious into your subconscious to help guide the experience.

I know so little about this stuff man my opinion really doesn’t carry much weight here 🤷‍♂️
I think the prep portion is critical for letting your subconscious guide you. I try to do that with shrooms, and to some extent with high dose THC edibles. High dose THC in edible form with 5-hydroxy metabolite produces very potent introspective results for me.

Oh and yeah, 5MEO DMT is a different animal compared to DMT
 
yes set and setting does matter, i have hundreds of experiences with a handful of diff compounds so I have definitely locked in some great experiences and proper set/setting, I've also had great experiences in bad settings. LSD I never had a bad trip once. Not even taking 10x the amount at once I just threw up rainbows and watched the stars in the sky connect into constellations and other cool shit after i felt better. Do them enough, develop some mastery and a firm deep philosophical grasp of the revelations and subsequent discoveries, and you will realize you are already the shaman you are seeking as a guide. The kingdom is within
 
yes set and setting does matter, i have hundreds of experiences with a handful of diff compounds so I have definitely locked in some great experiences and proper set/setting, I've also had great experiences in bad settings. LSD I never had a bad trip once. Not even taking 10x the amount at once I just threw up rainbows and watched the stars in the sky connect into constellations and other cool shit after i felt better. Do them enough, develop some mastery and a firm deep philosophical grasp of the revelations and subsequent discoveries, and you will realize you are already the shaman you are seeking as a guide. The kingdom is within

Do you have any experience with psychs and sensory deprivation chamber? Something I’ve contemplated
 
Do you have any experience with psychs and sensory deprivation chamber? Something I’ve contemplated
I've only ever done float tanks (not paired with psychedelics). Nearly lost my mind in there. Hour sitting still was beyond torture for me.

Id be curious to try it again in all sincerity.
 
Interesting subject matter. I've always been fascinated by these things and their use in a constructive way, kind of like Walter on Fringe.
 
interesting.
thank you for sharing your experience.
i have been pretty deep into this for 20 years, the last ten in particular going further then what i have found written anywhere.

there is huge potential to help people with the use of various compounds coupled with other sorts of call it active therapies, mental work with behavioral work.

happy to help with any questions you may have.
 
combined DMT + MAOI + Mullien and made changa about a month ago. the yield was about 3.5g. I took 2 rips and held it in and puked my brains out. I remember looking up as i was exorcist-puking, and the terrain (hills, road bushes etc) was switching from like a fresco, to impressionism strokes, with some powerful vivid hues and blends. It really put things into perspective after, even know i spent the duration puking mostly. My gf was fine, immediately after we walked about 1.5mi hike then lifted weights at gym down st, hit sauna it was great.

I don't get what the fuss about DMT is. It is not a psychedelic that really induces revelations like LSD or psilocybin will. even ketamine is superior. DMT just gives you that holy fuck, awe-struck effect, and fires up the right areas of your brain where you are feeling zen for a month or two after. It also tastes disgusting to smoke raw, even when making changa herb with it it taste nasty

If anyone has any questions about using psychedelics for treatment-resistant PTSD/depression, I am your guy. I spent years of my life in this rabbit hole.

i am glad everything worked out for you bro. If you would ever like to talk, hmu. I had moonrock mdma at the jordan peterson event, it was marvelous, really brought us closer.

that was sort of my first impression with dmt. as in ayhuasca.
after repeated use i feel a little differently but i still need to do more work with it.
the biggest issue i have with it is the heavy toll it takes on your body and the prep work involved.

my most humbling experiences were with super high dose ayhuasca combined with mg+ quantities of lsd. not something i would say if fun, humbling and insightful for sure.

i think the hardest part is learning to bring the insights gained through altered conciousness into your every day reality. the initial eye opening is great and helps most to some extent, for many it seems thats all that is really needed. the lack of linear effectiveness and non structure of the process i think is what keeps the subject much more taboo then what is neccessary.

our standard western concept of conciousness and self seems much closer to what we deem insanity then that which is brought through the use of what by most are considered alternative methods.
 

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