What to do about my fiance/girlfriend?

[Lenny]

So...I have been engaged for about 6 months now and she had no problem before that I was using steriods, but now that we are engaged and I have finished up my competition in July she wants me to give them up. I try to explain that bodybuilding is part of me and that I only take 400mg of test per week and 300eq. I have been on for a long while, 2 years. I told her that her love me everything to me and that I will have to do what I have to do to make her happy, but I am having a rough time coping with it because bodybuilding and well SUPPLEMENT use has been a part of who I am for such a long time. Any advice is welcome because I have a rough time explaining to her my situation.

 

[buffbabeca]

So...I have been engaged for about 6 months now and she had no problem before that I was using steriods, but now that we are engaged and I have finished up my competition in July she wants me to give them up. I try to explain that bodybuilding is part of me and that I only take 400mg of test per week and 300eq. I have been on for a long while, 2 years. I told her that her love me everything to me and that I will have to do what I have to do to make her happy, but I am having a rough time coping with it because bodybuilding and well SUPPLEMENT use has been a part of who I am for such a long time. Any advice is welcome because I have a rough time explaining to her my situation.

i know u are in a tough situation... and i can see BOTH sides of it.. coming from a female myself... I honestly would not ask the person i with to stop if I got into the relationship KNOWING that he did it. Its not my place to demand them to stop. I knew what i was getting myself into when I started dating you. I understand her love meaning everything to you and wanting to make HER happy but remember at what cost? you giving up something that truly means a lot to you and is a part of your life.. Just remember bodybuilding is something you enjoy it DOESNT define WHO you are. I can understand if u want to start a family soon and she wants u to come off.... or if u were doing LARGE amounts and putting your health at risk any more then a normal bber.

 

[Amazon Doll]

Just seems wrong that she is trying to change you. I don't believe that a person should compromise who they are for love. You will get over her, but 20 years from now you will be full of regret and anger for giving up who you are.

 

[Lenny]

Thanks so far for the comments and advice. Why can't she just understand who I am because I think she is wonderful and always am willing to understand her. I am just so confused with her because I do not want to lose her, but do not want to lose bodybuilding because like you all said I do enjoy it and I am 100% devoted to her, but what is the big deal about proper use and my bodybuilding? I just want her to understand, but she says it her or juice? Well...i have always been good to her while on and she knows that, she is just concern with my health and sometimes gets anger because she thinks i am getting to big. I am just trying to vent because you all have a better understanding than it than she does and advice is always a good thing. Thanks

 

[muscledoc1]

Really right now any advice you hear will not get into your head that easy,what im trying to say is that you obviously have emotions involved in resolving this issue,but realuisticly,if she doesnt accept you as who you are or if she thought you might change after marriage-i really hate to say this but its just not gonna work unless you sit and explain to her that the bottom line is you guys have 2-options:1)either you give it up(which i dont think at your level of involvement in this sport it will work-you will get back on again)
2)either she has to accept you as who you are and really its no news to her,youve been on it before you even met and she knew about it,or you both have to make some hard decisions about this relationship.
Again,the only advice i can give you(and its DAMN HARD TO DO)-is to make a decision with your head not your heart.

 

[aquaholic]

So...I have been engaged for about 6 months now and she had no problem before that I was using steriods, but now that we are engaged and I have finished up my competition in July she wants me to give them up. I try to explain that bodybuilding is part of me and that I only take 400mg of test per week and 300eq. I have been on for a long while, 2 years. I told her that her love me everything to me and that I will have to do what I have to do to make her happy, but I am having a rough time coping with it because bodybuilding and well SUPPLEMENT use has been a part of who I am for such a long time. Any advice is welcome because I have a rough time explaining to her my situation.

IMO, bodybuilding is a lifestyle.

You'll find people who support it, while others, don't.
Whether it's the dieting, the unconditional workouts, 6am cardio sessions, pre-measured meals, protein ratios .. ...

Try to help her understand, or, decide what's more important to you.

 

[Dusty Hanshaw]

So...I have been engaged for about 6 months now and she had no problem before that I was using steriods, but now that we are engaged and I have finished up my competition in July she wants me to give them up. I try to explain that bodybuilding is part of me and that I only take 400mg of test per week and 300eq. I have been on for a long while, 2 years. I told her that her love me everything to me and that I will have to do what I have to do to make her happy, but I am having a rough time coping with it because bodybuilding and well SUPPLEMENT use has been a part of who I am for such a long time. Any advice is welcome because I have a rough time explaining to her my situation.

How much do you know about AAS? How much have you tought her? I only ask because I was the same situation not to long ago. You obviously love your lady or you wouldn't be considering changing for her but as others have stated you shouldn't have to. What I suggest is that you sit down with your girl and ask her why she wants you to stop. At that point you will truly understand where she is coming from and be better prepared to talk and make a decision TOGETHER. You are engaged and you both need to understand that once you are in a relationship at that level you should be making ALL major decisions TOGETHER. In my experience usually what brings this on is that the woman is in love and is scared of what AAS will do to her loved one and or your family together. Do research together looking at AAS studies and try to teach her what they truly do. After you have researched together and you have been able to prove that AAS are safe and effective when used correctly ask her to take some time and think about what she would like you to do. After she has considered her position and what it means to you sit down as a couple and make the decision together. Good luck and make sure that when you are talking you keep it a conversation and not a fight. Once voices are raised ears are closed and you will fail to communicate.

 

[bumski]

I don't ever believe an ultimatum is a way to settle a situation in a relationship, unless you were tossing her around like a rag doll - which obviously you aren't - and it was either you quit cause she's worried for her safety or she leaves. I would just sit down with her and talk about it for a long ass time, get her whole opinion, give her your whole opinion, compromise. Maybe a cycle once a year? Something, I don't know - this forum obviously is just advice, you're going to have to make your own tough decision. In my opinion though if you really love her you'll have to love her for her shortcomings too, which might be that even though bbing is part of your life, she doesn't want it part of hers.

 

[oldfella]

First off, you say you have been on for two years! Time to take a break bro. Get on to some PCT and take a break, I did not say throw in the towel. If you are finished comp'ing then now is the time to take that break from AAS and focus on your relationship. Get some blood work done and make sure everything is ok. You must be willing to compromise with your future wife. It is about understanding and being understood. She does realize this is your lifestyle. You also have to reassure her that there is more to life than BBing! Sit down and talk this over in a rational manner. She needs to know that AAS does not rule your world and life will go on without them for a while! Like I said, you are not giving them up forever, unless YOU choose to do os, not because SHE wants you to. You are, however willing to take a break from them, WHICH YOU SHOULD DO ANYWAY to make your relationship work and remove this element of stress from it. She cares about you and is worried about the long term ramifications of continued use! She has a valid point bro. But you also have yours.

 

[lynx]

Does she just want you to take a break or quit all together?

 

[JETHRO TULL]

Lenny, I tried that once and stopped everything for a two years.

It did NOT make the relationship better. It did NOT make me care for the gilr more. I felt like I gave up something I really enjoyed for no reason. Like you, I am believe in low dosages. If you are healthy, I see no problem.

If you agree to get regular bloodwork done to prove you are healthy, that should be sufficient. Too big? Too big for who?

I'd be careful about this decision. BOTH decisions.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

I'd be careful on this decision. Although it may be a good idea for YOU to decide to take a break after a long period of time on, I still find it very unusual that she would agree to MARRY YOU (in sickness and health, etc.) when she knew full well what you did and what you were all about. Has something changed?

Before you, or anyone else for the matter, decide to give up a major portion of your life for someone, be sure that person knows that you might not be the same person afterwards. A large part of who we are is what we do (our passions and ambitions). She may find herself thinking, "This isn't the guy I agreed to marry!" Yet it was she herself that asked you to consider giving something up for her.

My point is that it seems a little late in the game to start changing the rules but ultimately, you have to decide what you need to find happiness in your life.

Wish you both the best and every happiness.

 

[Nikopapp]

How much do you know about AAS? How much have you tought her? I only ask because I was the same situation not to long ago. You obviously love your lady or you wouldn't be considering changing for her but as others have stated you shouldn't have to. What I suggest is that you sit down with your girl and ask her why she wants you to stop. At that point you will truly understand where she is coming from and be better prepared to talk and make a decision TOGETHER. You are engaged and you both need to understand that once you are in a relationship at that level you should be making ALL major decisions TOGETHER. In my experience usually what brings this on is that the woman is in love and is scared of what AAS will do to her loved one and or your family together. Do research together looking at AAS studies and try to teach her what they truly do. After you have researched together and you have been able to prove that AAS are safe and effective when used correctly ask her to take some time and think about what she would like you to do. After she has considered her position and what it means to you sit down as a couple and make the decision together. Good luck and make sure that when you are talking you keep it a conversation and not a fight. Once voices are raised ears are closed and you will fail to communicate.

Great post Dusty!

 

[muscle96ss]

How much do you know about AAS? How much have you tought her? I only ask because I was the same situation not to long ago. You obviously love your lady or you wouldn't be considering changing for her but as others have stated you shouldn't have to. What I suggest is that you sit down with your girl and ask her why she wants you to stop. At that point you will truly understand where she is coming from and be better prepared to talk and make a decision TOGETHER. You are engaged and you both need to understand that once you are in a relationship at that level you should be making ALL major decisions TOGETHER. In my experience usually what brings this on is that the woman is in love and is scared of what AAS will do to her loved one and or your family together. Do research together looking at AAS studies and try to teach her what they truly do. After you have researched together and you have been able to prove that AAS are safe and effective when used correctly ask her to take some time and think about what she would like you to do. After she has considered her position and what it means to you sit down as a couple and make the decision together. Good luck and make sure that when you are talking you keep it a conversation and not a fight. Once voices are raised ears are closed and you will fail to communicate.

Exactly!! More than likely the only thing she knows about AAS is what she has heard in the media. You need to find out what her specific concerns are about AAS and then educate her on them so that they are no longer concerns.

 

[NCMAC]

I feel for you in this situation bro.. aside from what the actual issue is.. an ultimatum is the worst thing that can be brought into a relationship to resolve a problem.. in my humble opinion.. that says to me that they are not willing to be with me through thick and thin, through hell or high waters.. I would ask myself can I be with someone for the rest of my life that is willing to drop everything, and just walk away from me without looking back.. because of something she feels is better me.. and because of something I believe in and the lifestyle that makes me happy.. if something comes up in the future.. is she going to resolve the issue by saying.. do it my way or else?