Wife passed

[Wonton]

Hey Wonton, good to hear from you.

Does your employer have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program)? If so that may be worth looking into. I've used EAP services with two employers I've had, one for finding a therapist post-divorce years ago and more recently when my dad passed away shortly after a cancer diagnosis, for therapy/bereavement support.

Hang in there, man!

I was on my wife's insurance and they cancelled it Oct 1

Waiting for my cobra paperwork

I found 4 groups most group meet once a month few 2 times a month

Found one therapist that can take me

I'm moving to South Carolina Nov 19 so I found one that does emdr I believe it's called ...lots of openings

My wife and I where gonna start moving Jan and then end of March do the final move

So gonna do it now...though they say not to..I have family I can see in sc

Also thinking about being a paramedic....but who know ...I think life changing shit causes life changing shit

 

[Bio]

I was on my wife's insurance and they cancelled it Oct 1

Waiting for my cobra paperwork

I found 4 groups most group meet once a month few 2 times a month

Found one therapist that can take me

I'm moving to South Carolina Nov 19 so I found one that does emdr I believe it's called ...lots of openings

My wife and I where gonna start moving Jan and then end of March do the final move

So gonna do it now...though they say not to..I have family I can see in sc

Also thinking about being a paramedic....but who know ...I think life changing shit causes life changing shit

It's said not to make any major life decisions after something extremely traumatic happens. Take time to let emotions and thought process to settle to a degree. Wishing you the best Wonton!

 

[Othello]

Also thinking about being a paramedic....but who know ...I think life changing shit causes life changing shit

i had a few friends who were paramedics

they are no longer paramedics


according to them, the things that they saw were 'way more than what they signed up for'

 

[grizzly978]

Sorry for your loss brother. Stay strong and blessings

 

[01dragonslayer]

I was on my wife's insurance and they cancelled it Oct 1

Waiting for my cobra paperwork

I found 4 groups most group meet once a month few 2 times a month

Found one therapist that can take me

I'm moving to South Carolina Nov 19 so I found one that does emdr I believe it's called ...lots of openings

My wife and I where gonna start moving Jan and then end of March do the final move

So gonna do it now...though they say not to..I have family I can see in sc

Also thinking about being a paramedic....but who know ...I think life changing shit causes life changing shit

If you have any questions on being a paramedic I have 20+ years of experience.

 

[kastro]

Hang in there my man

 

[Rainmanisback]

My deepest condolences and thoughts brother in iron, strength and peace to you and your loved ones...

 

[akajavman]

Sorry for your loss. I pray that you keep remembering the life you had together and the many blessings that I'm sure you had. Yes the loss is heavy but keep remembering the good and what ever life meant to her!🙏🙏🙏

 

[WSCFGU]

My wife passed between 1.20 and 1.45 a.m
I'm not sure what happened the doc called it around 2 am

She was snoring very heavy and then not breathing. I tried to wake her up but didn't work.
Gave her cpr she would start and stop breathing again. 2 min after trying to wake and cpr I called paramedic. 10 min later they came, I'm pretty sure they gave her epi pen and defibed...then defibed again.
They said her breathing shallow but heart was erratic.

53 years old

I have stories to tell about her ...love her sooo much and our last 2 Days today something special..I think she might of felt it unconscious.

But every day love and appreciate people in your life.

I'll be very busy sorting my new life out , organizing it..

I'm still awake ..it's a nightmare

Thank you for your support

My condolences brother!

 

[pickapeck]

I think I somehow missed this Wonton. Very sorry for your loss.

 

[Ruthless]

I was on my wife's insurance and they cancelled it Oct 1

Waiting for my cobra paperwork

I found 4 groups most group meet once a month few 2 times a month

Found one therapist that can take me

I'm moving to South Carolina Nov 19 so I found one that does emdr I believe it's called ...lots of openings

My wife and I where gonna start moving Jan and then end of March do the final move

So gonna do it now...though they say not to..I have family I can see in sc

Also thinking about being a paramedic....but who know ...I think life changing shit causes life changing shit

Stay strong, brother. Keep taking life day by day; never rush into anything, but never hesitate to take a risk. Life is too short. What you went through is tragic.

Helping others and developing the capabilities and talent to be that savior is a job that only few can do. It's thankless at times, but the good times and the saves you'll make will be life changing and rewarding. But with all positives come the negatives, and the negatives can and will occasionally be traumatic. First responders in general will always end up traumatized to an extent at some point, PTSD is real, and CISD will become commonplace. Speaking from experience.

It's honorable to want to get into that line of work. I would take it slow, day by day, focus on yourself and your recovery and getting yourself back to a stable mental state or to a point where you have developed an efficient healthy coping mechanism. Then, maybe consider the future with regards to employment, when you can think with a clear head. Volunteering is always an option as well, and is just as fulfilling. Especially in South Carolina, endless opportunities down there.

Keep your head up!

 

[hevi-head]

@Wonton
You hanging in there brotha?

 

[marssel]

I was on my wife's insurance and they cancelled it Oct 1

Waiting for my cobra paperwork

I found 4 groups most group meet once a month few 2 times a month

Found one therapist that can take me

I'm moving to South Carolina Nov 19 so I found one that does emdr I believe it's called ...lots of openings

My wife and I where gonna start moving Jan and then end of March do the final move

So gonna do it now...though they say not to..I have family I can see in sc

Also thinking about being a paramedic....but who know ...I think life changing shit causes life changing shit

I’d lawyer up bro find out how they canced it.

 

[01dragonslayer]

i had a few friends who were paramedics

they are no longer paramedics


according to them, the things that they saw were 'way more than what they signed up for'

I don't know your friends am I am one not to judge but it does take a certain kind of person and perhaps they chose the wrong profession. I have been a Paramedic for 20+ years and wouldn't change a thing. I will admit that there are things that I will never ever want to see again but the rewards far outweigh the disappointments. There's no feeling like helping others sometimes in dire needs and just the simple thank you is all it takes to feel so much self satisfaction knowing what you made a difference. From a paramedic's perspective you get an adrenaline rush when you get a good trauma. It's a natural high that beats any street drug. I don't know what Wonton's intentions are or what he plans on for his future but I encourage him to follow what interests him and if it's being a medic....I wish him the absolute best.

 

[marssel]

I don't know your friends am I am one not to judge but it does take a certain kind of person and perhaps they chose the wrong profession. I have been a Paramedic for 20+ years and wouldn't change a thing. I will admit that there are things that I will never ever want to see again but the rewards far outweigh the disappointments. There's no feeling like helping others sometimes in dire needs and just the simple thank you is all it takes to feel so much self satisfaction knowing what you made a difference. From a paramedic's perspective you get an adrenaline rush when you get a good trauma. It's a natural high that beats any street drug. I don't know what Wonton's intentions are or what he plans on for his future but I encourage him to follow what interests him and if it's being a medic....I wish him the absolute best.

It’s a lot like the military as far as the devastation you see and you don’t get to carry a gun unfortunately cant shoot if you’re endanger. I have talked to a few and fire fighters they love it but they see a lot of fucked up shit like what we saw, we did have the luxury of at times being able to take out the trash that caused the trauma. I dunno if I saw a parent that microwaved their kid that I wouldn’t pop a couple fentanyl in a rig and help them along their way to hell.

 

[01dragonslayer]

It’s a lot like the military as far as the devastation you see and you don’t get to carry a gun unfortunately cant shoot if you’re endanger. I have talked to a few and fire fighters they love it but they see a lot of fucked up shit like what we saw, we did have the luxury of at times being able to take out the trash that caused the trauma. I dunno if I saw a parent that microwaved their kid that I wouldn’t pop a couple fentanyl in a rig and help them along their way to hell.

Thanks for your response. I commend you for your service.

I do agree that certain situations can be devastating but l would say that the frequency is far less. I will say that any time that children are involved in something tragic still gets me. Kids are innocent and do not deserve to be be in some of the circumstances that I have seen. Our department offers counseling for devastating and tragic events and in the 20+ years I served as a Fire/mediic I used the counseling maybe twice.

 

[bigjim6775]

I’m so so sorry Wonton!! I know your screen name well, as you’re very well known here at OLM!!! This is so sad , I hardly come in this forum and so sad to read this . 53 is so young as well! I pray for you and that someday you find peace and stay strong: your right life is short , have patience with with your loved ones. One day you will miss them dearly when they’re gone!!! again my prayers to you and your family.

 

[marssel]

Thanks for your response. I commend you for your service.

I do agree that certain situations can be devastating but l would say that the frequency is far less. I will say that any time that children are involved in something tragic still gets me. Kids are innocent and do not deserve to be be in some of the circumstances that I have seen. Our department offers counseling for devastating and tragic events and in the 20+ years I served as a Fire/mediic I used the counseling maybe twice.

Nothing like being counseled by someone who’s never even been near true danger or severe trauma

 

[01dragonslayer]

Nothing like being counseled by someone who’s never even been near true danger or severe trauma

I agree. It but it's a free service if needed. I would debate that it's really more like a therapy session than counseling.

 

[fisther69]

It’s a lot like the military as far as the devastation you see and you don’t get to carry a gun unfortunately cant shoot if you’re endanger. I have talked to a few and fire fighters they love it but they see a lot of fucked up shit like what we saw, we did have the luxury of at times being able to take out the trash that caused the trauma. I dunno if I saw a parent that microwaved their kid that I wouldn’t pop a couple fentanyl in a rig and help them along their way to hell.

It’s different when you see people that look like you and dress like you..people in native garb? Not so much. Dude wearing Levi’s and a flannel with the sleeves rolled up? Hits waaaay different