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AGITATED AS A MOTHER F**KER (VENTING)

wtw11171

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My fucking back is killing me today. I don't even feel like moving. I should be downstairs training in my gym but I don't feel like it. I was like fuck it!!! I went to McDonalds and ate 4 mcdoubles, 14 mcnuggets and a shake. I would of eaten the other 6 mcnuggets but my 5 year old baby girl wanted them. Now I'm home and I think I'm gonna have a PB&J sandwich with a protein shake. I hate this fucking north eastern PA weather. Christmas is nice for the family thing but outside of that I hate this weather. I love my wife and all 4 of my children I'm just ready to rip some poor souls fucking head off today. The thing with the back is just because of the fucking surgery. 2010 was a fucking bad year and can't wait for it to leave already. Yes I know I need to workout and meditate tonite whether I feel it or not. I'm not always like this because I usually try and keep a positive frame of mind but once in a while I get outta place. I swear I was fine until the back injury and surgery. My wife said it's taken the life out of me. Over Thanksgiving I told my 22 year old nephew I was going to stab him in the fucking head with the butcher knife I was holding if he didn't shut his fucking mouth. My mother in law and sis in law started crying. They never see me like that. This will pass just had to vent. So, thanks for letting me vent bros. Pax.

W
 

cachexic

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Dec 21, 2009
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I don't know what to tell you. Life is suffering.

I hope you find joy in something soon.
 

wtw11171

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Thanks bro. I know the answer already. I'm just having a moment.

I don't know what to tell you. Life is suffering.

I hope you find joy in something soon.
 

totalrecomp

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Been dealing with a back injury of some time now and I understand how easy it is to let it sour the mood. Keep your head up!
 

maldorf

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Ive had some pretty terrible things happen to me and always been able somehow to pull myself up out of it. One of the hardest times for me was back in 94 when my first wife cheated on me. I even caught the 2 of them in bed together. Then 2 years ago I had that bad heart attack, almost died 2x and was in ICU for 6 days each time.

No matter how bad things seem, you know that it could always be a lot worse and that you still need to be thankful for what you have. I hope that you have a great Christmas and holiday season to remember for years to come. Sounds like you have a great family. If you havent already, take time to apologize to the family about that time you lost your temper.
 

wtw11171

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Thanks maldorf, much respect to you bro. That's exactly what I need to focus on. Honestly I have a great life and the best wife a man could ever want. Some times I just lose sight. I did apologize that same night. I'm working with this new teacher in the area of spiritual awakening and he said different feelings and emotions are going to arise as I go deeper. I guess this is one of those times.

Ive had some pretty terrible things happen to me and always been able somehow to pull myself up out of it. One of the hardest times for me was back in 94 when my first wife cheated on me. I even caught the 2 of them in bed together. Then 2 years ago I had that bad heart attack, almost died 2x and was in ICU for 6 days each time.

No matter how bad things seem, you know that it could always be a lot worse and that you still need to be thankful for what you have. I hope that you have a great Christmas and holiday season to remember for years to come. Sounds like you have a great family. If you havent already, take time to apologize to the family about that time you lost your temper.
 

eyesin

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400
UMM try taking some xanax, threatening family members is a little nuts bro...
 

kid1dakota

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My fucking back is killing me today. I don't even feel like moving. I should be downstairs training in my gym but I don't feel like it. I was like fuck it!!! I went to McDonalds and ate 4 mcdoubles, 14 mcnuggets and a shake. I would of eaten the other 6 mcnuggets but my 5 year old baby girl wanted them. Now I'm home and I think I'm gonna have a PB&J sandwich with a protein shake. I hate this fucking north eastern PA weather. Christmas is nice for the family thing but outside of that I hate this weather. I love my wife and all 4 of my children I'm just ready to rip some poor souls fucking head off today. The thing with the back is just because of the fucking surgery. 2010 was a fucking bad year and can't wait for it to leave already. Yes I know I need to workout and meditate tonite whether I feel it or not. I'm not always like this because I usually try and keep a positive frame of mind but once in a while I get outta place. I swear I was fine until the back injury and surgery. My wife said it's taken the life out of me. Over Thanksgiving I told my 22 year old nephew I was going to stab him in the fucking head with the butcher knife I was holding if he didn't shut his fucking mouth. My mother in law and sis in law started crying. They never see me like that. This will pass just had to vent. So, thanks for letting me vent bros. Pax.

W
Chronic pain changes people in a lot of ways.As you know you are still responsible for your actions BUT,it changes your personality to a degree,coping skills etc...
As a chiro and a person with some chronic pain myself I absolutely understand and sympathize.
Best advice is when you feel a trigger or that "feeling" just go have some alone time.People with chronic pain tend to isolate and that is okay to a degree as they need to calm down or a place to relax and cope.
I can't promise the pain will get better but your coping skills will improve with time.

Good luck
 

wtw11171

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Thanks for the advice. It was just a long day at work thanksgiving eve and everyone was drinking and he was breaking balls. I don't drink and normally I can say knock it off and that's it. He had beer muscles and kept going on. I appreciate the offer but I can't go with the xanax, they make me stupid!!!

UMM try taking some xanax, threatening family members is a little nuts bro...
 

wtw11171

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Thanks kid, great advice!!! Well appreciated. Pax.

W

Chronic pain changes people in a lot of ways.As you know you are still responsible for your actions BUT,it changes your personality to a degree,coping skills etc...
As a chiro and a person with some chronic pain myself I absolutely understand and sympathize.
Best advice is when you feel a trigger or that "feeling" just go have some alone time.People with chronic pain tend to isolate and that is okay to a degree as they need to calm down or a place to relax and cope.
I can't promise the pain will get better but your coping skills will improve with time.

Good luck
 

chris250

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4,522
Being in pain all the time sucks..My back is pretty screwed up (but not like yours) I take pain meds all the time for them (although I try to stay away from narcotics pain meds) but I try every possiable natural remedy first, before harsher pain meds...I just try to keep a positive outlook, and look at the bright side of things...:)
 

Ashop

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My fucking back is killing me today. I don't even feel like moving. I should be downstairs training in my gym but I don't feel like it. I was like fuck it!!! I went to McDonalds and ate 4 mcdoubles, 14 mcnuggets and a shake. I would of eaten the other 6 mcnuggets but my 5 year old baby girl wanted them. Now I'm home and I think I'm gonna have a PB&J sandwich with a protein shake. I hate this fucking north eastern PA weather. Christmas is nice for the family thing but outside of that I hate this weather. I love my wife and all 4 of my children I'm just ready to rip some poor souls fucking head off today. The thing with the back is just because of the fucking surgery. 2010 was a fucking bad year and can't wait for it to leave already. Yes I know I need to workout and meditate tonite whether I feel it or not. I'm not always like this because I usually try and keep a positive frame of mind but once in a while I get outta place. I swear I was fine until the back injury and surgery. My wife said it's taken the life out of me. Over Thanksgiving I told my 22 year old nephew I was going to stab him in the fucking head with the butcher knife I was holding if he didn't shut his fucking mouth. My mother in law and sis in law started crying. They never see me like that. This will pass just had to vent. So, thanks for letting me vent bros. Pax.

W
Maybe you have some seasonal depression which is very common.
If your stuck in an area with weather you hate,,find a hobby that allows
you to enjoy the weather such as snowboarding,,skiing,,ice fishing,,etc..
Being stuck in the house can make you feel down. Try to enjoy what you have to work with.
 

mmowry

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Nov 15, 2010
Messages
206
Sorry to hear about the back problems. Ive had them and I know all too well that the pain will bring you to a point of feeling defeated and you dont know whether to cry like a little girl or get an AK and climb on your roof top.

Im in SW PA by the ski resorts and the weather is a mother to deal with,grey,wet,cold,sloppy,muddy,snowy ect. Glad you have good support network,those are tough to come by nowadays.

I pray you get some relief!
 

wtw11171

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Everyone, you're all good men and I appreciate what you are saying. Thanksgiving eve was a bad moment. I tried to explain what happened in a previous post. Within 30 minutes after cooling down I apologized for my behavior. I am not a saint yet but I am working on it. There are many issues I am dealing with outside of pain. As I mentioned I am working on myself not only physically but also spiritually as well. I am a very spiritual being and not abusive to my family. I need to set that straight!!! I've had some moments but I believe things will get better. I am very blessed. 2010 was a tough year but I have hope. Thanks again for all the replies. All of the responses have already helped me in many ways. Pax.

W
 

eyesin

Banned
Joined
Aug 23, 2010
Messages
400
Thanks for the advice. It was just a long day at work thanksgiving eve and everyone was drinking and he was breaking balls. I don't drink and normally I can say knock it off and that's it. He had beer muscles and kept going on. I appreciate the offer but I can't go with the xanax, they make me stupid!!!
lol, well try valium, i didnt like xanax either and switched to valium for my rage times. it helps alot, whenever u feel like breaking someones neck, pop a valium have a j (if u smoke) take a deep breath and then return ;)

I try to avoid letting anyone i know how this stuff affects me cause all it does is set u up for "well if you didnt ever take ... then". So I get up, leave, take a valium, smoke a j then return a happy camper.

everyone has their own way to deal with it, im sure you will find yours brother ;)

J
 

patrick05

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Registered
Joined
Nov 23, 2010
Messages
169
Hey bro every time i think life sucks i think about all the good times i had and that helps me alot but sometimes life just kicks you in the balls !! it will get better it always does.
 

DBOYY

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Apr 23, 2010
Messages
57
keep ur head up bro, its always darkest before the sun shines.....happy holidays.....p.s put the knife down n step away from the knife.....lol
 

Birus

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Mar 2, 2009
Messages
35
lol, well try valium, i didnt like xanax either and switched to valium for my rage times. it helps alot, whenever u feel like breaking someones neck, pop a valium have a j (if u smoke) take a deep breath and then return ;)

I try to avoid letting anyone i know how this stuff affects me cause all it does is set u up for "well if you didnt ever take ... then". So I get up, leave, take a valium, smoke a j then return a happy camper.

everyone has their own way to deal with it, im sure you will find yours brother ;)

J
i agree 100%

same here whenever i deal with anxiety(not severe)...i go smoke a J...i don't let anyone know and im all relaxed...no meds. smoking once every 3-4 days does it for me...
 

Michaelthomasj

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Oct 8, 2009
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My fucking back is killing me today. I don't even feel like moving. I should be downstairs training in my gym but I don't feel like it. I was like fuck it!!! I went to McDonalds and ate 4 mcdoubles, 14 mcnuggets and a shake. I would of eaten the other 6 mcnuggets but my 5 year old baby girl wanted them. Now I'm home and I think I'm gonna have a PB&J sandwich with a protein shake. I hate this fucking north eastern PA weather. Christmas is nice for the family thing but outside of that I hate this weather. I love my wife and all 4 of my children I'm just ready to rip some poor souls fucking head off today. The thing with the back is just because of the fucking surgery. 2010 was a fucking bad year and can't wait for it to leave already. Yes I know I need to workout and meditate tonite whether I feel it or not. I'm not always like this because I usually try and keep a positive frame of mind but once in a while I get outta place. I swear I was fine until the back injury and surgery. My wife said it's taken the life out of me. Over Thanksgiving I told my 22 year old nephew I was going to stab him in the fucking head with the butcher knife I was holding if he didn't shut his fucking mouth. My mother in law and sis in law started crying. They never see me like that. This will pass just had to vent. So, thanks for letting me vent bros. Pax.

W
Hey Warren, sorry I have not been in touch, but things have been hectic with the sale of the house. The bank has been driving me absolutely nuts, but finally tomorrow (monday) I have the closing on my house. I should be leaving for South Carolina at the end of the week. Also i had a little mishap with the package i was supposed to send you. I am sorry to hear about your back...mine too is aggravating the hell out of me. Im sure i wil have the same surgery as you withing the next couple of months. You should recieve a package from me by Christmas to help your back heal. Your a good dude and im sure you will be ok. I will say a prayer for you. Michael
 

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