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Divorce

JCAnderson

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Well guys I guess its that time for me. I have let things be for about a year and a half. I can no longer put up with her self centered dictatorship. Man there s no worse feeling than that alone feeling you get after a break up. Of course beiing married and "breaking up" is quite different. Any suggestions on the best way to go about this? I m getting a lawyer tomorrow...no kids although I have taken care of her daughter for two years.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts...this is a difficult and new situation for me
 

PHIL HERNON

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Well

Well guys I guess its that time for me. I have let things be for about a year and a half. I can no longer put up with her self centered dictatorship. Man there s no worse feeling than that alone feeling you get after a break up. Of course beiing married and "breaking up" is quite different. Any suggestions on the best way to go about this? I m getting a lawyer tomorrow...no kids although I have taken care of her daughter for two years.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts...this is a difficult and new situation for me
1. In your opinion, where have you failed?
 

JCAnderson

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1. In your opinion, where have you failed?
I bellieve I failed by jumping into the marriage, to avoid her losing her daughter (my stepdaughter for now) in a custody battle. We were married 2 days after I proposed. She was my best friend for 8 years before that so I felt comfortable.

I had no idea she was so controlling. Sorry for the mis-spellings...I m on a mobile.

Honestly I changed to meet her demands to make it work. It kind of hit home when she intentionally didn t celebrate father s day, because she was upset I wouldn't move something for her at that second (I was really hungry) and had already told her I was leaving to get food.
 

mrjacked

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IMO

It will get worse before it gets better for you bro.Been divorced for 2 years bro and have a couple kids.......we still fight like cats and dogs
 

Golgo13

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Feel for ya man. I agree, after a breakup its like your life is totally empty and without purpose. My advice is to just get into your own stuff. Reading, lifting... whatever, just don't go replace your wife with some skank that will scramble you up even more than you are now.
 

ssdark1

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Feel for ya man. I agree, after a breakup its like your life is totally empty and without purpose. My advice is to just get into your own stuff. Reading, lifting... whatever, just don't go replace your wife with some skank that will scramble you up even more than you are now.
TRUTH
 

aeliop

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Are you contesting anything?

Well guys I guess its that time for me. I have let things be for about a year and a half. I can no longer put up with her self centered dictatorship. Man there s no worse feeling than that alone feeling you get after a break up. Of course beiing married and "breaking up" is quite different. Any suggestions on the best way to go about this? I m getting a lawyer tomorrow...no kids although I have taken care of her daughter for two years.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts...this is a difficult and new situation for me
Is there anything you are contesting? House, property, cars, assets, etc.... if not I would hold off on the lawyer. If there is no fight and everyone agrees then why give the lawyer the money. Just draw something up that is fair to both parties and split.
 

mexbeast

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Feel for ya man. I agree, after a breakup its like your life is totally empty and without purpose. My advice is to just get into your own stuff. Reading, lifting... whatever, just don't go replace your wife with some skank that will scramble you up even more than you are now.
you hit it right on the head! i personally hate been put on a leash. nothing pisses me off more than that!!!
 

JCAnderson

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Is there anything you are contesting? House, property, cars, assets, etc.... if not I would hold off on the lawyer. If there is no fight and everyone agrees then why give the lawyer the money. Just draw something up that is fair to both parties and split.
She wants the house. She wants for me to sign it over to her, but a year ago I dumped 5k from my 401k for the money down. I don't think this house is worth any more than what we paid a year ago...what do you all think I should do?

Sign over the house to her and walk away or fight it?
 

Jello

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Sorry if this is a stupid question, but does she know how you feel right now.

If you guys were as close as you say you were before you got married I don't see how you couldn't work this out if you guys really wanted to.

In most cases you just end up trading one for another, so unless someone does something totally unforgivable (cheating, physical harm, etc.) I just don't see a reason to not work it out.

Divorce is just too easy to do anymore, hurts but it is too easy.
 

JCAnderson

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you hit it right on the head! i personally hate been put on a leash. nothing pisses me off more than that!!!
Not kidding I was told when I had to eat when I could use the car on vacation. It s worse at home. She gets mad if I have to use the restroom as soon as I get home b/c she has things I need to do. I should have stood up for mysellf sooner. I guess I hoped it would just blow over....but it got worse
 

JCAnderson

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Sorry if this is a stupid question, but does she know how you feel right now.

If you guys were as close as you say you were before you got married I don't see how you couldn't work this out if you guys really wanted to.

In most cases you just end up trading one for another, so unless someone does something totally unforgivable (cheating, physical harm, etc.) I just don't see a reason to not work it out.

Divorce is just too easy to do anymore, hurts but it is too easy.
She probably won't care. If I did what she said when she said it then we could work it out, but then am I really living my life? At this point she would have to admit to her family that she lied and was wrong. She hasn t admitted she was wrong to me ever in two and a half years. You might find that hardto believe, but other than a trivia question six months ago that's true. I don't want to sound like I m whining and am not ignorant in thinking I haven t added to the demize of our relationship...I m just trying to get some insight on this. In the past 6 months I quit drinking, smoking and anything that might have hendered our relationship I qquit. She made promises that she would correct some things that I felt were keeping us from growing. I fulfilled my end, but not one of those things she promised me did she do. It actually got worse and worse. I did everything she asked of me...and it wasn't good enough. I really don't know whatelse I could have done
 

aeliop

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She wants the house. She wants for me to sign it over to her, but a year ago I dumped 5k from my 401k for the money down. I don't think this house is worth any more than what we paid a year ago...what do you all think I should do?

Sign over the house to her and walk away or fight it?
you could give her the house and have her give you up to 5k or a little less.
 

JCAnderson

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you could give her the house and have her give you up to 5k or a little less.
I thought of thaT as well. I know she doesn't have the 5k....what other options do I have? I reaaaally don't want to do this but I don't feel I ll be happy...ever unless I go thru with it. I have been praying for guidance. She said I have said iii have two weeks to get out....
 

JCAnderson

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Again sorry for mis spelling and extra characters. But thank you for helping me. And you know I don't care at the moment what someone else thinks so....I m frankly blow away by the feedback/help from you guys...I have been around pm for quite a while and one never knew this particular forum existed....moreover that someone actually CARED. SO THANK YOU ALL for the post. Oddly enough this is really helping me sort thru everything
 

JCAnderson

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I didn't mean to end the conversation....please if your willing...ur feedback is appreciated. I m pretty much lost at the moment...if you do reply pllease concider I m quite scared and confused at the moment....(wow that was extremely difficult to type and I truly don't care how "girly" that sounded)
 

Snow White

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. I did everything she asked of me...and it wasn't good enough. I really don't know whatelse I could have done
I think this statement really says it all. There IS nothing else you could have done. It sounds to me this woman will push the goal posts as far as she can to see if she can "break" you. This doens't sound healthy - IMHO she has no respect. It's all about her and her needs.
 

pesty4077

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My wife tried this on me, the controlling factor. It didn't work, because from the beginning I never let her. I would have walked from the beginning of the relationship if that is the case. It seems to me, you didn't and now you can't take it any more. If you let someone control you, they will. You should have put your foot down a long time ago, but in a diplomatic way.

How much your wife gets depends on your incomes. If you make alot more then her, yes you will pay something. I would suggest to give her the house, $5000 is nothing, she might get a lot more if she takes you to court. Try to work it out rationally and keep lawyers out of it. Get it in legal writing, once you guys come to an agreement. Always remember one thing, think with your head and not with your emotions.
 

liftalot79

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No matter how crazy the male or female is.....

Divorce Sucks... It really does!!!!
 

liftalot79

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No matter how crazy the male or female is.....

I'm not saying it isn't necessary sometimes, My wife like knives when we fought and was super controlling, although sometimes she didn't know if I was dead or alive due to my addiction. It was a "toxic" relationship for 10 years. It still hurt both sides when we divorced.
 
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