Well
Now at 43 it is a bitch, it takes me longer to park the car ,cant find parking due to my bad eye sight, once i find parking i am gtg,i crack open the door of my 1985 Grand Marguis with 20's on it and ding that brand new 300 thing parked beside me. Once i finally make it to the back of my ride and pop the trunck and pull out my gear then the slow and steady shuffle of my feet towards the gym entrance always brings looks and giggles, maybe it is because they can see my junk poking out from my new tight spandex shorts and my wife beater shirt on, dont really care as i make my way to the door.I finally get to the door a 1/2 hour later and seek out my prey to open the gym door, cause i need to save my strenght for my high density training. Well there is always some 19 or 20 hussy that asks " Can i open the door for you Sir" and in my frail voice i answer back " Yes dear you may" and i then i shuffle thru and wait for the hussy to get infront of my so i can stare at that tight little behinny infront of me and i try to cop a feel as well. Once inside i shuffle up to the desk and greet the girls behind the desk, lucky they cant see me cause i am grabbing my junk and thinking about them as they say " Hi Mr so and so" and i smile and shuffle on, oh wait till i get home , momma will be a sore duck tonight.
Well it has been an hour already since i parked the car and made my way into the gym and i am sweating or is that because my bladder let loose again, no no that is sweat. So off i go to workout, i am banging into things with my walker cause they have so much stuff in the gym and no room to move my walker around the equipment, i have complained many times to them to make it accessible for senoirs, well nothing. I wave to the regulars i have know over the past years , and make my way to Smith machine i finally get there and throw on 2- 10's and puff up my chest and place my walker beside the machine and inch my way on the bench and release the bar and crank out 5 whole reps, i remember back in the day when i could do 10, oh shit that was how long ago, cant seem to remember it slipped my mind just the my slipped disk i had last year. Well i finish my workout 10 minutes later and shuffle off to the shower yet first i need my Mammoth 2500 Muscle gainer protien shake cause i want my muslces to recover quickly from my high intensity workout. I mix it up and chug it down,and let out a burp the shakes the walls or was that a fart, hell cant remember i think i was both. People are looking at me weird and plugging there noses,i look at them and say "what i changed my underwear last week i think" . I get back to my locker and someone has toilet papered my walker, god dan whipper snippers , well after taking off the toilet paper and a few minute naps i get a tap on the shoulder and get woken up by the night time security guard and he says " Hey Mr So and So it is 11 pm, we are closing down for the night, i quickly get changed as fast as my 43 yr old body allows and shuffle off to the car. I cant find my ride, i press the panic button and the lights flash on the car way over in the corner of the paking lot, so the walker and me shuffle over to the car and get in and head home, i put it into park i think and hit the gas and off we go, and i think to myself "Where the hell do i live again"

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