JT/Lynx needs help

Strunk · Apr 19, 2007

Well, I got an interesting PM from Lynx. She asked me if I knew a good exorcist as she thinks her house is haunted. Lynx said she's been making her monster cookies and she's been putting them in the freezer due to Jethro has been dieting and he can't eat them. She said she's been noticing them slowly disapperaing every time she gets in the freezer to get some frozen veggies. Jethro has no idea what's happened to them and he's very concerned. He first thought the cat may be involved somehow. Lynx told him that she knows the cat can't open up the freezer door and she now believes there's a ghost living in their home as she knows Jethro would never think of touching them as he's dieting. She also says it explains all the obnoxious noises and smells during the night while they're laying in bed as Jethro wouldn't do that with her laying right next to him. I don't know any exorcists, so if anyone knows of one...please help this scared couple out.

nosmas · Apr 19, 2007

I happen to be a qualified paranormal investigator and part-time exorcist. I can fix this!
First, I’m going to need 2K up front for my services. Nasty work these cookie demons!
Second, an original copy of the Roman Rights of exorcism (my last one caught fire in my hands and the pages bled during the last exorcism).
Finally, some cocktail shrimp, a plastic doll, a pair of old grey smelly gym shorts (not needed for the cleaning, just wanting to help out Lynx!), some red candles, some 101 proof straight Kentucky bourbon, and a copy of stairway to heaven.
Be careful Lynx.........Demons are KNOWN deceivers and liars!

IM ON MY WAY!

MAINEVENT · Apr 19, 2007

It couldn't be JT because they're not made of Tuna.

It couldn't be Lynx, because she should be dieting.

It may be Edge....for proof look at his recent pic I posted. Oh wait, he couldn't reach the freezer either.

oldfella · Apr 19, 2007

Help has arrived!!

Hey Lynx, all you need to do is wrap them up, put them in a box and AIR EXPRESS them to me. I will look after them for you so the demons don't get them. Then when the exorcism has been performed, let me know and I'll simply send the box back, problem solved!!!!

I will do this at.......NO CHARGE.....of course and I'll even pay the freight cost to get you your box back

oldfella · Apr 19, 2007

mainevent said:
It couldn't be JT because they're not made of Tuna.

It couldn't be Lynx, because she should be dieting.

It may be Edge....for proof look at his recent pic I posted. Oh wait, he couldn't reach the freezer either.

Yea and we all know it's not you cause you're trying out a new protein!!!

JETHRO TULL · Apr 19, 2007

HA!

Well, I don't know what's been going on in regards to the rapidly diminishing supply of monster cookies.

There may well be a cookied demon lurking somewhere with the narrow confines of our apartment here in the nothern lands.

There may also be a demon lurking elsewhere. Exorcism might well be an option.

Perhaps during while we are in deep slumber we are more susceptible to demon attack and possession? This MIGHT lead an otherwise disciplined individual to UNKNOWINGLY raid the freezer and indulge in said tasty treats.

I am at a loss as to how this interesting paranomal phenomenon could be explained.

I am frightened.

Jarconis · Apr 19, 2007

well, im tired so I didn't feel like writing this huge post about how the only monster that Lynx should be worried about is JT's one-eyed one. But im tired. *sigh*

Larry Bowie · Apr 19, 2007

Relax, i solved it

Strunk said:
She said she's been noticing them slowly disapperaing every time she gets in the freezer to get some frozen veggies.She also says it explains all the obnoxious noises and smells during the night while they're laying in bed as Jethro wouldn't do that with her laying right next to him. I don't know any exorcists, so if anyone knows of one...please help this scared couple out.

Loser is a tank, he can pry the door open. Loser plays dumb during the day(so you think he cant open the door), knowing that at night, under the cover of darkness and stealth, he can stalk his prey undetected!

and from the pics i've seen of him over the last year, Loser has doubled his bodyweight and gained considerable mass. only your german chocolate brownies are capable of doing that. has JT doubled his bodyweight? no, so he couldnt be eating the brownies. simple

Strunk said:
She also says it explains all the obnoxious noises and smells during the night while they're laying in bed as Jethro wouldn't do that with her laying right next to him.

ummm... yeah.... thats just JT getting jiggy with himself. sorry to break it to you Miss Lynx. to break him of this habit, you must ravish him right before bed, and first thing in the AM. and maybe after the gym too. if 2x/day isnt enough.

as for the smells... its not his farts, its his "high performance exhaust system" working.

Larry Bowie · Apr 19, 2007

dont be

JETHRO TULL said:
I am at a loss as to how this interesting paranomal phenomenon could be explained.

I am frightened.

its just the cat

i know you would never do that.

plus, i ate 1/4 batch of those and almost went into diabetic shock. there's no way a man your size could handle a full batch and survive.

if you ate them, Lynx would find you at 5:30am on the kitchen floor in your underroos, covered in saliva and foam, and brownies all over your hands and face.

its that damned cat, he's bulking up, just look at him!!!

rotty · Apr 19, 2007

Why would you bake cookies if no one can eat them? I would be sooooo mad at you, but if it was me I would have eaten them all right away. Not one or two here and there. I would have been cursing as I stuffed them down my face. That only happened to me once. I was dieting and my girlffriend at the time cooked me a cheesecake, well cheesecake is like my favorite thing in the world. So I ate it until I got sick then got mad at her.

Strunk · Apr 19, 2007

rotty said:
Why would you bake cookies if no one can eat them? I would be sooooo mad at you, but if it was me I would have eaten them all right away. Not one or two here and there. I would have been cursing as I stuffed them down my face. That only happened to me once. I was dieting and my girlffriend at the time cooked me a cheesecake, well cheesecake is like my favorite thing in the world. So I ate it until I got sick then got mad at her.

Mrs Strunk does the same thing. She makes all kinds of stuff for the kids when she's dieting, but never eats it. Just another thing that if it works for them...go for it. I'd eat it too Rotty.LOL I have no will power anymore in my old age. At least they'll be stocked up when it's time to eat them.

BOOMSHAKER · Apr 19, 2007

nosmas said:
I happen to be a qualified paranormal investigator and part-time exorcist. I can fix this!
First, I’m going to need 2K up front for my services. Nasty work these cookie demons!
Second, an original copy of the Roman Rights of exorcism (my last one caught fire in my hands and the pages bled during the last exorcism).
Finally, some cocktail shrimp, a plastic doll, a pair of old grey smelly gym shorts (not needed for the cleaning, just wanting to help out Lynx!), some red candles, some 101 proof straight Kentucky bourbon, and a copy of stairway to heaven.
Be careful Lynx.........Demons are KNOWN deceivers and liars!

IM ON MY WAY!

If you film it, I'm in for buying a few copies from yah! BAHAHAHA

USABULK · Apr 19, 2007

I have the same ghost in my place...

Kaiser · Apr 19, 2007

This thread cracks me up

lynx · Apr 19, 2007

rotty said:
Why would you bake cookies if no one can eat them? I would be sooooo mad at you, but if it was me I would have eaten them all right away. Not one or two here and there. I would have been cursing as I stuffed them down my face. That only happened to me once. I was dieting and my girlffriend at the time cooked me a cheesecake, well cheesecake is like my favorite thing in the world. So I ate it until I got sick then got mad at her.

Ok, ok let me explain. I was being bugged for weeks to make these things and when I did he takes off for his parents and comes back telling me he's dieting. WTH! Also I made them a bit on the healthy side. Made with no butter, Splenda 1/2 & 1/2 for baking, Splenda Brown Sugar and instead of 6 eggs I did 3 whole eggs and 6 egg whites. The worse thing in there were the M&M's and chocolate chips.

Normally I would ship off some to people but I was unsure as to how they tasted so I didn't want to send crappy cookies out. Plus the egg whites made the M&M's bleed and so they looked a little funny too.

lynx · Apr 19, 2007

Larry Bowie said:
its just the cat i know you would never do that.

plus, i ate 1/4 batch of those and almost went into diabetic shock. there's no way a man your size could handle a full batch and survive.

if you ate them, Lynx would find you at 5:30am on the kitchen floor in your underroos, covered in saliva and foam, and brownies all over your hands and face.

its that damned cat, he's bulking up, just look at him!!!

Hmmm...you might have a point he is getting bulkier.

nosmas · Apr 19, 2007

pics of the phantom!

BOOMSHAKER said:
If you film it, I'm in for buying a few copies from yah! BAHAHAHA

Well, the photos have come back from the first night, and let me tell you, the pictures are frightening. I set up my high powered camera equipment in the kitchen to try and capture a picture of the phantom at work and let me tell you, the photos sent shivers up my spine. This demon lurker will take some time to expel from the home. PRAY FOR US!