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- Jun 6, 2002
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- 2,548
Most of you know that 2 months ago I was rushed to the emergency room because a tumor(never knew I had it) in my liver exploded and I almost bled to death.I was saved and came home,the doctors were hoping the blood that was in my liver capsule would reabsorb and I would be fine.That was not the case.After my last MRI about 4 weeks ago it was determined that the blood never disipated (5 pints worth)and that there was a large growth on the right side of the liver underneath the pocket of blood.
I saw several specialist after my initial surgeons opinion and the same conclusion kept coming up....you need surgery.
So,on June 1st at 6am I went to the hospital for surgery.I never had a major operation like this,I was scared out of my mind.The worst part was saying goodbye to my family and then laying all alone in the pre-op room waiting for the surgical team to come get me.I cried as I layed there,flashing back to all the juice I had taken over the years,and hating myself for what I did.All of this could have been prevented,but like I said before,the "That will never happen to me" bullshit controlled me,and now I was paying for it.
They come in,ask me if I want an epidural for the pain.No way am I going to let them stick a needle in my spine on top of all this shit Im about to go through.So I opt for the morphine drip post surgery,I figure I can press the button when I need it.And I sure fucking needed it.
For those of you that have never had surgery,being wheeled into the OR is some scary shit.Its cold,its bright,nurses all around with masks on.Its like an alien abduction,its the only way I can describe it.IV's beinng stuck into your hand,your wrist for blood pressure monitoring and finally one more for your neck.The anesthesiologist tells me I will wake up with an IV inn my neck(the main line) I look at him,and with all this shit going on around me I tell him "no way dude" straight out,"I dont want a needle in my neck" He tells me it has to be done,the thought of it makes me sick,so my doctor tells him to use the vein in my right bicep "his veins are huge,just use his arm" Alittle relief in the hell Im about to go through.
In a few minutes,they inject my hand with some drugs to calm me,it burns like fire,I make a sign of the cross(like the good Catholic I am),doctor says something to me,and thats it.Im out.
I wake up 4 hours later,seems like seconds to me.My mom is there,my sister,I have no fucking idea whats going on.Im drugged up!My girl comes in,her mother too.I start waking more and more.I feel pain but not much.They stay as long as possible with me.Im so fucking upset,tears well up in my eyes again.What the fuck did I do to myself????
Im in there until the evening when Im cleared to go into an ICU room with 4 other patients.I have these compression wraps around my lower legs that blow up every few minutes to prevent blood clots in my legs.I have a catheter in my dick so I can piss.I have 2 IVs and I have a drain attached to my abdomen,its full of dark bloody fluid.I can see the bandages on my incision,fucking big incision.
I press the morphine button alot,Im just not feeling good.Morphine makes me nauseas but I need it for the pain.Im in the hospital a total of 5 days.Day 2 was much better until a doctor comes in and tells me its time to pull out my catheter.I asked you guys what it would feel like,and there really is no way to give a perfect description.He yanks this fucking thing out,and literaly,its like a stick of dynamite going off in your dick.I never felt aything like this in my life.So after Im laying there in shock,he tells me its good to pee as soon as possible.Easier said the done.My girl had to hold me while I tried.Burning beyond belief.It burned for at least 3 days.But you learn to deal with it because if you dont,they will stick a catheter in you again,and we are not going for that again,no way.When they yank the drain tubing out of my side abdomen the day I left,thats a whole other story.Picture about a foot of rubber tubing being pulled out of your side.If I had a knife there,I would have killed that guy.That really sucked.But it was over and I was on my way home.I may have made light of my hospital stay,but believe me,it sucked every second I was there,and I never want to see a hospital again.
Now,I will explain what I had and what they did.I was diagnosed with a hepatic adenoma after the pathological report was done.It was benign,but the area of liver was so dead and useless,the doctor told me it could have been worse and I was possibly heading there if I did not have the surgery.
The incision is pretty big.Picture an upside down Y in the middle of your stomach.It starts at the tip of my sternum and extends down.
They took out the entire right lobe of my liver,my gall bladder,and the huge pocket of blood and tumor.The entire thing weighed between 6-7 pounds and was 30 cm long.That explains why my abdomen was so distended before the operation.It was pressing up on my diaphragm,so much so that it made a hole in it which they sewed shut.The entire area was inflamed because of the constant rubbing of this huge mass.While in there,it was determined that everything else was ok.He fixed my umbilical hernia from inside and then they stiched me up.I have dissolving stiches on my muscle and the skin was attached with a bioglue.No clips or stiches outside.It hurts and is very stiiff,6-8 weeks they say is normal recovery.Thats fine for walking and general shit,but in my mind,recovery from this is more like 6 months plus.
My doctors believe the adenoma was growing inside me for a few years.I never had any symptons but now that I think about it,no matter how wmuch I dieted,the past 2 years my belly was always alittle distended.I shrugged it off as "roid gut" But seeing how flat my stomach is now,it was the tumor growing all that time.It grew until it exploded on April 19th.Doctor tells me I was very lucky because the liver capsule was never punctured when the rupture occured.This allowed all the blood to bleed into the liver,if I bled iinto my gut,I was a dead man within a few minutes.Im thankful to be alive,but I still hate myself for what I did.
Hepatic adenomas occur iin women who take birth control and in men who take steroids.It is not very common but it does happen,and Im proof of that.Once again,Im not looking for sympathy,I did this to myself,and have only myself to blame.But,you guys need to WAKE THE FUCK UP and realize what your doing.
2 months ago I was a fucking animal.Nothing could stop me.245lbs of walking nightmare,you guys know this.But within seconds,BOOM,its over.First the emergency room and now my surgery.I have lost 40 fucking pounds total,Im a shell of what I was.I feel like an old man.31 years old,all the fucking juice and time in the gym,for what? NOTHING.I have nothing to show for it but pictures.I have a scar that I have to look at every day to remind me of what happened.I ask myself was it worth it?And the answer is always NO.
Will I be healthy and normal once again,the doctor says yes.I should be fully recovered once all is said and done.I hope so.But nothing will erase the hell I have went through these past 2 months.2 months that have changed my life forever.
Whether you take me seriously or not,its your choice.But its about time most of you start concentrating more on training and nutrition then the constant drug talk I see.I was just like you,and I paid the price for it.Wake up brothers,thats all I ask.....
I saw several specialist after my initial surgeons opinion and the same conclusion kept coming up....you need surgery.
So,on June 1st at 6am I went to the hospital for surgery.I never had a major operation like this,I was scared out of my mind.The worst part was saying goodbye to my family and then laying all alone in the pre-op room waiting for the surgical team to come get me.I cried as I layed there,flashing back to all the juice I had taken over the years,and hating myself for what I did.All of this could have been prevented,but like I said before,the "That will never happen to me" bullshit controlled me,and now I was paying for it.
They come in,ask me if I want an epidural for the pain.No way am I going to let them stick a needle in my spine on top of all this shit Im about to go through.So I opt for the morphine drip post surgery,I figure I can press the button when I need it.And I sure fucking needed it.
For those of you that have never had surgery,being wheeled into the OR is some scary shit.Its cold,its bright,nurses all around with masks on.Its like an alien abduction,its the only way I can describe it.IV's beinng stuck into your hand,your wrist for blood pressure monitoring and finally one more for your neck.The anesthesiologist tells me I will wake up with an IV inn my neck(the main line) I look at him,and with all this shit going on around me I tell him "no way dude" straight out,"I dont want a needle in my neck" He tells me it has to be done,the thought of it makes me sick,so my doctor tells him to use the vein in my right bicep "his veins are huge,just use his arm" Alittle relief in the hell Im about to go through.
In a few minutes,they inject my hand with some drugs to calm me,it burns like fire,I make a sign of the cross(like the good Catholic I am),doctor says something to me,and thats it.Im out.
I wake up 4 hours later,seems like seconds to me.My mom is there,my sister,I have no fucking idea whats going on.Im drugged up!My girl comes in,her mother too.I start waking more and more.I feel pain but not much.They stay as long as possible with me.Im so fucking upset,tears well up in my eyes again.What the fuck did I do to myself????
Im in there until the evening when Im cleared to go into an ICU room with 4 other patients.I have these compression wraps around my lower legs that blow up every few minutes to prevent blood clots in my legs.I have a catheter in my dick so I can piss.I have 2 IVs and I have a drain attached to my abdomen,its full of dark bloody fluid.I can see the bandages on my incision,fucking big incision.
I press the morphine button alot,Im just not feeling good.Morphine makes me nauseas but I need it for the pain.Im in the hospital a total of 5 days.Day 2 was much better until a doctor comes in and tells me its time to pull out my catheter.I asked you guys what it would feel like,and there really is no way to give a perfect description.He yanks this fucking thing out,and literaly,its like a stick of dynamite going off in your dick.I never felt aything like this in my life.So after Im laying there in shock,he tells me its good to pee as soon as possible.Easier said the done.My girl had to hold me while I tried.Burning beyond belief.It burned for at least 3 days.But you learn to deal with it because if you dont,they will stick a catheter in you again,and we are not going for that again,no way.When they yank the drain tubing out of my side abdomen the day I left,thats a whole other story.Picture about a foot of rubber tubing being pulled out of your side.If I had a knife there,I would have killed that guy.That really sucked.But it was over and I was on my way home.I may have made light of my hospital stay,but believe me,it sucked every second I was there,and I never want to see a hospital again.
Now,I will explain what I had and what they did.I was diagnosed with a hepatic adenoma after the pathological report was done.It was benign,but the area of liver was so dead and useless,the doctor told me it could have been worse and I was possibly heading there if I did not have the surgery.
The incision is pretty big.Picture an upside down Y in the middle of your stomach.It starts at the tip of my sternum and extends down.
They took out the entire right lobe of my liver,my gall bladder,and the huge pocket of blood and tumor.The entire thing weighed between 6-7 pounds and was 30 cm long.That explains why my abdomen was so distended before the operation.It was pressing up on my diaphragm,so much so that it made a hole in it which they sewed shut.The entire area was inflamed because of the constant rubbing of this huge mass.While in there,it was determined that everything else was ok.He fixed my umbilical hernia from inside and then they stiched me up.I have dissolving stiches on my muscle and the skin was attached with a bioglue.No clips or stiches outside.It hurts and is very stiiff,6-8 weeks they say is normal recovery.Thats fine for walking and general shit,but in my mind,recovery from this is more like 6 months plus.
My doctors believe the adenoma was growing inside me for a few years.I never had any symptons but now that I think about it,no matter how wmuch I dieted,the past 2 years my belly was always alittle distended.I shrugged it off as "roid gut" But seeing how flat my stomach is now,it was the tumor growing all that time.It grew until it exploded on April 19th.Doctor tells me I was very lucky because the liver capsule was never punctured when the rupture occured.This allowed all the blood to bleed into the liver,if I bled iinto my gut,I was a dead man within a few minutes.Im thankful to be alive,but I still hate myself for what I did.
Hepatic adenomas occur iin women who take birth control and in men who take steroids.It is not very common but it does happen,and Im proof of that.Once again,Im not looking for sympathy,I did this to myself,and have only myself to blame.But,you guys need to WAKE THE FUCK UP and realize what your doing.
2 months ago I was a fucking animal.Nothing could stop me.245lbs of walking nightmare,you guys know this.But within seconds,BOOM,its over.First the emergency room and now my surgery.I have lost 40 fucking pounds total,Im a shell of what I was.I feel like an old man.31 years old,all the fucking juice and time in the gym,for what? NOTHING.I have nothing to show for it but pictures.I have a scar that I have to look at every day to remind me of what happened.I ask myself was it worth it?And the answer is always NO.
Will I be healthy and normal once again,the doctor says yes.I should be fully recovered once all is said and done.I hope so.But nothing will erase the hell I have went through these past 2 months.2 months that have changed my life forever.
Whether you take me seriously or not,its your choice.But its about time most of you start concentrating more on training and nutrition then the constant drug talk I see.I was just like you,and I paid the price for it.Wake up brothers,thats all I ask.....
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