Need to get this under control

[Shark22]

I can't believe I'm posting about this but lately I have become so jealous with my girl that I feel I'm about to really ruin this big time. If I even think that she is looking at someone else or that someone is looking at her I become enraged and I start to mistreat her by not responding to her or just isolating myself from her. She's the best woman I have ever met and if this doesn't workout with her then it won't workout with anyone. I guess I have trust issues stemming from a relationship I had many years ago with a woman that was just not very faithful to me. But this is getting ridiculous and the feelings of jealousy are just so irrationally powerful that I know something is wrong with me. I feel I'm losing control in front of her now and tarnishing the best thing, I ever had. Anyone ever have any similar feelings or experience? Thanks

 

[wasp]

if a girl is gonna cheat shes gonna cheat, nothing you can do about it, so why worry?

 

[Snow White]

Has she given you reason to mistrust her? If not, you're projecting your experinces form that prior relationship. I too did that until she sat me down and said please stop this - I'm not that other person. After that, I never doubted her. Try to talk rather than to react - tell her about your experiences and why you behave this way.

 

[Shark22]

Really trying on a daily basis...sometimes my insecurities take over. When it happened to me with my first relationship, I turned the blame inward and thought something was wrong with me and I guess the fear and lack of self esteem is very deep rooted. That was 25 years ago. This is actually my first relationship with a real emotional and intimate connection. I feel vulnerable and can,t handle the thought of losing her. Thanks for the replies.

 

[triathloncoach]

You have 2 choices

1) You can man up and be an optimist and enjoy your relationship. But you may get very hurt.
2) you can be a pessimist and focus more on protecting your feelings from what you see as inevitable disappointment. But then you miss out on the full joy of your relationship.

 

[Donzi]

Has she given you reason to mistrust her? If not, you're projecting your experinces form that prior relationship. I too did that until she sat me down and said please stop this - I'm not that other person. After that, I never doubted her. Try to talk rather than to react - tell her about your experiences and why you behave this way.

Ive been in your boat too. What snow white said is perfect. You need to talk to her and tell her why you do that. Ask her to help and let he know reassurance every once in a while is more helpful than she might understand. Im def a terrible talker but you have to talk to her about it or nothing good will come of it.

 

[Shark22]

Thanks for the replies I think this cycle I'm on has something to do with this.....I'm too fucking irrational about this. Maybe the topic should be relationships while on a cycle.