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New relationship; gf has stopped being sexually intimate

VNV

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Girlfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. We haven't engaged in any sexual way in the last 7 weeks. We see each other about 5 nights a week, and sleep over together probably 4 of those.

At first, she was busy with work and stressed. Then she had a yeast infection. Then she was on her period. Then she said was having "rectal problems" of some sort. Now I'm not sure what's going on.

Three weeks ago I asked her how she was doing and she told me she's still having rectal issues and now her vagina is uncomfortable too--something related to her eczema. She wouldn't go into detail or have a discussion about it, but she said she'd go to the doctor, and she does need to--she's developing sores on her upper thighs and butt from compulsively scratching her eczema.

Three weeks pass and she still hasn't gone to the Dr. It's not a financial issue. When I've brought it up a few times over this time frame, she's gotten extremely irritated and refuses to talk about it.

She won't do anything about her supposed health issues, she flips the fuck out when I try to talk to her about these health issues, and in the mean time, I feel myself growing distant toward her without the bond of physical intimacy.

What am I suppose to do?

Talking to her about her health issues or our physically intimacy is not an option anymore--she's has immediately shut down and become angry toward me so many times after I've approached her reasonably that I'm just going to push her away from me.

I'm beginning to feel resentment that the negligence to her supposed health issues comes at the cost of our physical intimacy, my sexual needs, and the overall intimacy of our relationship.

Am I just suppose to sit idly by and hope that one day she goes to the Dr. or starts having sex with me again?
 
Last edited:

driven

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Hold on - hearing how she angrily responds to your legitimate concerns, in my mind, greatly outweighs any loss of physical intimacy. It suggests to me 2 things: 1. she doesn't give a shit about engaging in a healthy discussion to resolve an identified problem in the relationship; and 2. Her angry response to your queries does not suggest she respects you as a significant other.

Look bro, do what you want, but I've never met a man who was happy in a relationship where his wife/gf jumped down his throat - it's fucking emasculating.

peace
-driven
 

biggreenstacks

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Sorry bro

Like you said, she's a girlfriend, not your wife so you really aren't tied down. I wouldn't consider staying in a relationship that turned sour after the first few months. Also, not too many people out there give up sex altogether, maybe she has someone else???? I don't know just putting it out there. Either way I'd consider ending this one.

Hope it works out for you.
 

tri-terror

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If I were you I'd get checked out for herpes cause I bet she's lying to you if she won't even discuss it or get checked out. Chances are she knows exactly what's wrong with her and is biding her time until her outbreak is over.
 

mitochondria

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If I were you I'd get checked out for herpes cause I bet she's lying to you if she won't even discuss it or get checked out. Chances are she knows exactly what's wrong with her and is biding her time until her outbreak is over.

you make a clear point
 

dukkitdalaw

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Seems to me that she flips out and gets angry when you bring up the health issues....

because its embarrassing.

Health issues, especially ones that have to do with a persons private parts can make one very self conscious. Leading to self esteem issues.

Maybe she thinks that when you bring up her issues, that you're judging her. Or that you are grossed out by it. Or not interested. Etc.

Which would lead her to just shutting down and not wanting to discuss it.
 

Amazon Doll

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Dating is for the purpose of finding that special someone and weeding out the damaged goods. You should be asking yourself if this is the type of person you would want to spend the rest of you life with (even if you are not planning on getting married)

This girl has issues and is incapable of being emotionally or physically intimate due to what ever is going on in her head.

It's time to move on. If you are too emotionally invested to do that, then you will just have to live like this.
 

Goody

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Gotta get rid of her..
 

mace123

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Seems to me that she flips out and gets angry when you bring up the health issues....

because its embarrassing.

Health issues, especially ones that have to do with a persons private parts can make one very self conscious. Leading to self esteem issues.

Maybe she thinks that when you bring up her issues, that you're judging her. Or that you are grossed out by it. Or not interested. Etc.

Which would lead her to just shutting down and not wanting to discuss it.

:yeahthat:


Everyone else needs to chill out for a minute.

Think about this, we come from a society where girls pretend they dont even shit for YEARS!

8 months is not that long, in the long run, and I think it is very probable that there is something she is just not comfortable talking to you about because she is afraid it will gross you out or make you not want to be with her.

Yes, it is not having the effect she probably intended but I think it is quite possible she is doing this because she does care and does not want to scare you away.

Set up an appt with the doc for her and see how it goes from there.
 

wrought

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If I were you I'd get checked out for herpes cause I bet she's lying to you if she won't even discuss it or get checked out. Chances are she knows exactly what's wrong with her and is biding her time until her outbreak is over.

Seconded. Better safe than sorry bro.
 

DrS

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Well

First off , women can be very illogical , not being a dick , guys can be assholes and women can be illogical , ask any girl that is just a friend and they will admitt it. I believe it is one of 2 things , similar to a few other views. 1. She is or did fuck someone else and either it didn't work out or he only wanted a quick bang, and this has lead to her angry responses , because the issues are not severe enough to go to the doctor. Possibility 2, she has a personal reason she is with-holding sex , normally some insecurity that causes them to feel less then . or ugly. This is very possible with such a skin condition. When my girl pus on a few pounds she gets that way.
 

cpesloco

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If I were you I'd get checked out for herpes cause I bet she's lying to you if she won't even discuss it or get checked out. Chances are she knows exactly what's wrong with her and is biding her time until her outbreak is over.

:yeahthat: seems suspect to me and screams run away FAST
 

Emery

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Sounds like marriage... Rectal pain and all!!!

I have to agree with Amazon Doll on this one! Go with your gut feeling bro!
 

cachexic

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Seems to me that she flips out and gets angry when you bring up the health issues....

because its embarrassing.

Health issues, especially ones that have to do with a persons private parts can make one very self conscious. Leading to self esteem issues.

Maybe she thinks that when you bring up her issues, that you're judging her. Or that you are grossed out by it. Or not interested. Etc.

Which would lead her to just shutting down and not wanting to discuss it.

This. Judging your situation with a totally open mind, this seems to be why she is snapping at you. She's embarrassed. Self conscious. I don't know why she hasn't gone to the doctor though. That kind of contradicts my first point...
 

monkeybizniz

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Hold on - hearing how she angrily responds to your legitimate concerns, in my mind, greatly outweighs any loss of physical intimacy. It suggests to me 2 things: 1. she doesn't give a shit about engaging in a healthy discussion to resolve an identified problem in the relationship; and 2. Her angry response to your queries does not suggest she respects you as a significant other.

bingo!!! i have been through some very similar stuff with my wife/soon to be ex. its as if they don't wanna take responsibility for themselves, but fly off the handle when you try to hod them accountable by giving them friendly reminders. i went through this shit for 3 years before i said enough. some friendly advice; even if your the biggest people pleasing, co dependant, care taking kinda guy....which is fine and dandy.....get out now. waste no more time. you will find many someone elses.
 

mace123

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bingo!!! i have been through some very similar stuff with my wife/soon to be ex. its as if they don't wanna take responsibility for themselves, but fly off the handle when you try to hod them accountable by giving them friendly reminders. i went through this shit for 3 years before i said enough. some friendly advice; even if your the biggest people pleasing, co dependant, care taking kinda guy....which is fine and dandy.....get out now. waste no more time. you will find many someone elses.

Everyone one of you recently single guys is screaming run just because you were left hurt in a relationship. :cool:

How many of you bros that have found the love of your life would still be together if you ran off at the first speed bump? NONE!!!

Relationships take working, and while I agree there are PLENTY of candidates, I also think if you care about someone you owe it to YOURSELF to try and resolve "minor" issues. Its a team sport and you fellas often forget that you have your faults as well...

Did you ever take her to the doc OP?
 

ICU11b

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She knows what the problem is... Thats why she wont go see a Dr.. Yet she doesn't trust you enough to be an adult & be truthful about whatever ails her. So... You have no trust, no physical relationship & growing tension... Youre going know where fast. Best of luck:eek:
 

soul_fly

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I think there are a few things you have to consider: 1) she's seeing someone else 2) she has an STD and doesn't want to disclose it 3) she banged someone else and she got an STD from that person and her world is shit right now....You should run far away bro
 

microcentillion

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How many of you bros that have found the love of your life would still be together if you ran off at the first speed bump? NONE!!!

He wouldn't be working his 8th month if he'd 'run off at the first speed bump'.

I think if you care about someone you owe it to YOURSELF to try and resolve "minor" issues. Its a team sport.

Did you read the OP's post at all? This is exactly what he's trying to do. When he tries to get it resolved, or even address it, he gets shut down. Sticking with your metaphor, it sounds to *me* like he's got a shitty teammate.

I agree with many others. Time to move on. If after 8 months she still can't be up front about this kinda thing, how many bigger problems down the road will suffer the same treatment?
 

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